Here is my dilema; my daughter misses the school age cut-off by about a week. When she had completed Preschool, her teacher thought that she was ready for Kindergarten and advised me to place her in a charter school, where the cut-off is 4 months later. I did that. She went through K just fine. At the end of the year, I went to the local elementary school to enroll her in first-grade, only to be told that the rules had changed and she was a week too young to enter first grade and would have to either repeat K or at least start in K and be evaluated for advancement into first-grade. Because I did have some serious concerns about the charter school she was attending, I have decided to go ahead and enroll her in K at the local elementary.
Now, this is what I need to know: Do I push for her advancement to first? I believe she is academically ready. She is reading and doing math at the level of a beginning first grader. Or do I keep her in K, where the principal has promised that they will adjust her day to continue to challenger her in reading and math, but she would be in class with kids her own "age." I have heard that there are some distict advantages to being older in the classroom, throughout school. And that most of those advantages won't be apparent until later, i.e. fourth or fifth grade and on. One very distict advantage in our case would be athetic. My daughter is quite the athelete, and as we have several family members that were star athletes though college levels, it is not unlikely that she would follow this course. I know that by putting her in first this year she would eventually be competing against people a year more advanced. This is one reason I keep tossing and turning over this decision, but I know there are many more social issues that I'm not quite aware of. And what are the advantages of being younger? Other than the stigma of repeating K, I'm not sure if there are any?
I am looking for advice from parents that have made this decision and what they would tell me about the advatages and drawbacks to each situation.
I, too, put my son in a charter school last year for that exact same reason. We ended up pulling him out at Christmas break, as we felt he was just not ready for the full-day program.
While there are advantages and disadvantages to being the oldest child in the class, I feel that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. I do not regret my decision to pull our son and know that he will succeed as an older child in the class.
My birthday is Sept 2, so I missed the cut-off by one day. I was very smart and tested into kindergarten. I was one of the youngest students. I was able to keep up academically, but I have always felt that because I was younger, I was emotionally immature compared to my classmates. I had a lot of issues with friends and found it hard to relate to them. I had friends going through puberty in 5th and 6th grade and I didn't experience that until I was in 8th. I just couldn't relate. Had I been older than them, I may have already gone through some of the stuff before them and I would have understood.
I guess what I am saying is that I think you should keep your daughter in kindergarten again.
Well my daughter is a Nov birthday and although at first I wanted her to start kinder this fall I have now decided its best for her not to go. She is academically ready but for one all day would be too long for her and she is socially just not ready. Its a hard decision so I hope its the right one! Most teachers I have talked to say early starts tend to do well for the first few years then by 3rd grade they start noticing socially they aren't as advanced as the others and sometimes academically they aren't ready for all the material.I had a few teachers basically tell me the same thing. She was so close to the cut off I doubt she will be in the "stigma" of repeating and my mom held me back in 1st grade and I never faced any issues because I was so young. Most don't even realize I repeated.
My son started kingergarten at 4 1/2 (after taking the district placement exam...he had to score at 5 years 6 months in all ability levels to be accepted early).
It has been a very positive experience. He is now 11 years old and will start the 7th grade this year. He had two things going for him, he is extremely academically gifted and also phsyically large for his age (he looks more like a 14 year old than an 11 year old).
I might not have made the same decision had it not been for those factors. I would think it would be difficult for a girl socially when her peers are going through puberty and she is not. I remember being consumed with growing my breasts and getting my period for most of 5th and 6th grade. I was the last one in my group to do so. Had my son not been a big, tall boy I might have kept him out a year just so he would be more developmentally like the other kids.
If the school is willing to give her extra work and challenge her then I vote for repeating kindergarten.
Just know that if she knows that she has already been in kindergarten (I assume she does, rather than just calling it "school") you will ALWAYS hear "I'm in the 3rd grade, but I should be in the 4th grade, but my mom made me repeat kindergarten". I have NEVER met a kid who repeated a grade (for whatever reason) that didn't add the caveat of what grade they should really be in.
Yes, I think it is better to be older. My daughter has a November birthday and she was older than all of her classmates. She is was in all the Advanced Placement classes, Drum Major for Band and graduated with the President's Award, plus many others. She's smart, however very shy and it helped to stay in Pre-school the extra year. Plus, I read an article that most athletes that excel are the ones older than their peers. I would keep her in K one more year! She'll be fine!
My oldest daughter had to start school later due to her birthday was after the cut off.... She went through 2 years of Head Start and then proceeded through the school years... She is now getting ready to turn 16 and is not upset about being the older one in her bunch... never was.
She is very smart, very active in extracurricular activities and yes that includes sports.
I am not sure about most schools but the elementary school I grew up at and that my kids went to (yes the same school) have a gifted program for those that are smarter than their peers. I also noticed that the teachers also do give students that need more challenge after they had finished the required work more work to keep them busy and learning.
Who knows they could always turn around and later say they want to move her up a grade....
I have not had to make this decision as a parent and I have a November birthday so ended up being the eldest in my class most of the time. Overall, this was a good thing and I think my parents made the right call. Academically, they could have sent me at 4 - this is when the cut off used to be in December. Socially and emotionally giving me another year to grow was better. Sometimes it was frustrating because I could feel that 1 year maturity difference with my peers, but in high school and college being a little older was a benefit. I think it gave me a stronger foundation to deal with peer pressure and the transition into the greater world. I was also an honors/AP student in high school and was active in drama, speech, and debate. I also had a double major in college (BA) and now have a Master's degree with a 4.0 GPA.
Giving your daughter that extra year could be a great gift. It was for me.
YOu have to have the mind set that it's not about right now and being older or fourth grade.
It's about having the maturity when she starts college. Do you want your child to be the youngest and going away to college and handling the pressure????
4th grade all the elements come together on what they have learned and it is time for the emotional side to kick in too.
Keep her in KInder where she will thrive for the future!!!!!!!!!
I have been a teacher for 13 years and whenever we have discussed advancement or holding back a student as a team at school, we have rarely decided to do so. There is the emotional well being of the child as well. Most children should be with their peers of the same age for socialization. If in a grade above or below their own, they may feel out of place and have issues and then not do well in school because of feeling uncomfortable. If your daughter is very mature for her age and if you have noticed that she plays well with children older than herself, then you should look into advancing her. As a teacher in my classroom I always had advanced students and students that were not grade level. It is always the case every year in every grade. We do are best to challenge every student, but is difficult in a class of 25-30 students. There are schools that teach about one half of a grade level above the norm which may be good for your daughter since she will be will children her own age, but be challenged.
If I were you, I would hold her back. She will have every advantage being older. Teachers naturally choose older children as leaders. She will have an academic advantage, and she will be the first of her friends to be driving. :) The reason I bring that up is because I would much rather have my child be the driver than the passenger. Good luck. You shouldn't feel bad about holding her back, you will be setting her up for success!
Kelly
No. I would leave her back, speaking from experience. I have one son who is on the younger side and as intelligent as he is, is way off socially from his peers. Another son who is the oldest in the class is doing a much better job fitting in socially, and because he is in a charter school, he is constantly challenged with his academics.
I would try not to make a fuss with the school so as to not create any ill feelings. It might be embarrassing to have to go back to the board in a few years feeling like you may have made a mistake early on.
It's a hard choice for you, yet again, just make it easy all around by leaving her in K. At this age, she won't have any social pressure about going backwards and it will help her adjust to a new school/environment.
good luck
I have two personal examples for you. My 2nd son was born in August and was borderline on the cut-off. I felt that he was highly intelligent and advanced for his age, so I sent him to school as one of the youngest. He did very well all the way through school academically and graduated with honors from college. But, he was behind socially and emotionally. Now, he turned out great, but it would have been easier on him to have felt more comfortable making friends and holding his own. He was picked on by bigger boys from time to time, etc. My daughter's birthday is in June and it seemed that she shouldn't have any problem, but, though I put her in pre-school for part of the year before kindergarten, she still only felt comfortable with her brothers. She went to kindergarten on time and did okay. The teacher said that she would do okay in 1st grade. I was having my doubts, however, because she refused to tell the teacher her address and didn't want to move to the next area (math from playtime) when they would change subjects in school. I really struggled about what to do with her, asking a lot of people/ experts about it, then finally asked her which she preferred. She said, "Duh, why would I go to school all day when I can be home playing for half a day with you?" She didn't feel any stigma, especially since we changed schools that year. She repeated kindergarten and was at the top of her class, which gave her lots of self-confidence and she felt comfortable helping some of the other kids and made friends easier. She also graduated with honors from college. If had to do it over, I would have held back my son. It's good that you are concerned about it - it shows that you are a caring mother.
Hello,
I say push for it. My daughter was held back becasue of her Birthday too and I think it hurt her more then it helped her. She was even tested and was ready to move forward but the school wouldn't move her. So I say if you can push it, then do it.
Good Luck!
I have been through the early kindergarten issue, so I'll let you know my experience. My older duaghter's B-day is 10/5, and the state's cut-off is turning 5 by 9/1 to start kindergarten. I wanted her to be in Madison School District, and they will actually test any kids with B-days between 9/1 and 10/1 for kindergarten, so we missed their cut-off by only 4 days. My daughter had been reading since 3 1/2 years old, and was very academically ready, but many people cautioned me about her emotional readiness, and worried that she might fall into more of a follower role because of her youth. I was also at home with her fulltime and she had never been to pre-school at all, but she has never been shy.
Anyhow, we decided that she really needed to start school at 4 years old. I just worried that if I kept her out until she was nearly 6, that she might be bored in kindergarten. I found Montessori Day School Public Charter (at 14th St & Dunlap), and they were willing to test my daughter, and found her to be ready for kindergarten. She did very well in kindergarten, and even though she is a little younger, she remained assertive and a leader. I didn't initially tell her that she was starting earlier or that she would be younger than most of her class, though. Though she has now figured out that she is a little younger than most of her classmates, I didn't want her to go into kindergarten worrying that she was littler or anything. After kindergarten, we moved her to Madison Simis for first grade, and she did great there. She reads and does math above her grade-level, and was put into their enriched learning classes for those subjects. At the end of the year, she tested into their gifted program for 2nd grade, so we are getting ready to start in the gifted program this fall.
I honestly believe that we made the right decision in starting her early. She has been with kids who abilities more closely matched her own. When she started kindergarten at 4, there were more than a few kids who weren't reading at all. Even though she was in MOntessori, the class also worked as a group, and they "introduced" letters and sounds to the whole class thru ZooPhonics. On one level, my daughter enjoyed the silly rhymes and songs that she was doing, but she also voiced frustration, as a good little reader, at having to sit thru being told what a "B" is and how it sounds.
If I were in your position, I would be concerned about boring my child by making her repeat material that she has already been thru. My daughter is also very sensitive about being referred to as a second grder, and NOT a first grader. She has already been thru first grade, and she wants to be recognized as such. I honestly think that you shouldn't under-estimate the potential stigma of being "held-back" even if your kid would actually be back where she originally should be.
Many people have voiced concern to me about a younger kid falling behind socially, but I'm actually glad that my girl is on the younger side of her school peers, because she is pretty assertive [read: a bit bossy :)]. If she were on the extreme older side of her classmates I would worry about her running them over. She is actually a little tall for her age, so she isn't any smaller than her classmates. In fact she is about average height in her class.
The only con that I've experienced has been that my daughter has observed to me that she's younger than your classroom peers. She mentions it, but she doesn't seem too worried about it.
I know girls mature faster than boys, but it isn't all about maturity either when you think about this.
I have 3 boys - 19, 4, & 3. My 19 yo was one of the youngest in his class with an early July birthday. We started school in IL (cut-off was in Sept) and then moved to MO (cut-off in June). It never bothered him until he hit high school when everyone was allowed to do things before him. He has always had a great head on his shoulders & I really believe he was more mature than most in his grade.
Now my youngest two have birthdays in Sept and Oct so they will definitely be the older ones in their classes. My oldest is VERY happy that his brothers will be the older ones and say they will be much happier in the long run too. My middle one will be 5 two weeks after the cut-off and many of his friends are heading to Kindergarten. I know this is definitely the best for them and I am sooo happy that they will be the older ones.
I have dealt with this myself. My daughter has a Christmas Eve birthday. As she got closer and closer to school age we noticed that she was quite advanced for her age academically and also socially in some ways. I call her an old soul. After careful thought and consideration, we decided to go ahead and test her in early. We had a lot of people who thought we were crazy, but we still feel we made the right decision.
You have to follow your gut. I have a brother and sister who were the youngest in their classes and didn't regret it. A couple of my friends have help back their children in K or 1st because they were concerned about how their children were progressing.
There is no perfect answer. For my daughter (now in 2nd grade)testing her in early has been the right decision. For others maybe not. I know it's a tough decision. You are her mother- follow your heart. Good luck.
I think it is better to be the oldest. I missed the cutoff by 1 week as well, and was much happier as I got older. My best friend was the youngest and she always felt left out when we were driving or had later curfews. I repeated K and I don't think there are any problems with it. The teachers will be able to challenge her and she will most likely have more self-confidence in her abiliites.
I have talked to lots of people about this same thing. The Dr. said he never recomends putting kids up a grade. If she has to relearn stuff right now it's ok. I would have her go in to kindergarten and not give it another thought. Being the older kid in the claas is always better than being the youngest kid. Especially as she gets older.
Academically ready and socially ready are two separate things to take into consideration.
My niece was in the same position (she is now 9), my brother and his wife decided to "not test her in" so she started kindergarden at almost 6.......and it has worked out well. She is in the gifted program now, has alot of confidence and is mature.
My son is in the same position, he's a couple months past the cut off. I also am waiting and having him do another year of preschool. Every educator I have talked to recommends this. I know on a personal level several teachers and an assistant principal, they all feel that way. Why push it? What is the child going to get by going one year ahead? When they are an adult is it really going to matter that they started school one year early? Think about all the people you know and does it matter if any of them started school one year early? Not really.
If she is on the older side of her peers she will be smart, mature and confident. She would probably be in the gifted program then honors. I don't see drawbacks to holding her another year. And I really don't consider her older than all of her peers because there will many kids her age (it was even like that when I was in school).
If she is younger than everyone, she will graduate younger and go into college or career one year earlier and she will be academically where she should. Drawbacks - she may not socially be ready.
I was on the younger side in school and I didn't like it. i.e. I got my drivers license LAST when I was in high school and I hated it! Thank goodness I wasn't a late bloomer or that would have been another thing that made me uncomfortable. I know those may seem silly but to a kid, those are everything. Just things to think about.........
I would go with your gut feeling. You are the mother and I truly believe "moms" get that "feeling" that tells them what they should do. If you think she is ready to continue on, then do it. If you are not sure or think she may not be socially ready then wait. I'd do it now when she or her friends won't notice rather than in 5 years there's an issue and she has to stay back---that would be terrible on her self esteem. When she gets to kindergarden they said they would test her. If they (the professionals) think she is ready to move on then do it, if they don't then I would not push it.
Best of luck. I wish you and your daughter the very best.
Im actually in the same boat your in. My daughter attended a charter school last year because of her age. So this year im enrolling her into public school but get this she tested so well she made it into a magnet school where they have to test and score high enough to get into the school. She will be in Kindergarden agian and may be more advanced than the other childern both academicaly, and on her matureity level. If the school feels they need to advance her into 1st grade then so it will be but if not then im ok with it. I think they will get a good start and because they already know whats expected of them I think they will do well. Depending on how the school feels and the test they make them take I think it should be a call that the teachers and academic advisors will make. I had one GT advisor told me she thinks alot of the children that are older tend to do better in school and she doesnt feel they need to be moved up. Most of her GT students are the older bunch.
Good luck!