My nephew and his wife have a one year old. Both of them work full time and have had to figure out new child care since my nephew now has to go in to the office every day which has changed his commuting time and day care arrangements. He is also at risk of losing his job as part of the federal government rifting. They are very stressed out right now but other family members (not his father) are constantly complaining that they do not attend family functions or drop by and spend more time with “her” family, etc. I never join in these beat downs and have commented a couple of times that the harsh judgment is not deserved. The dynamic doesn’t change. I am trying to decide if it is my job to speak up for them even more or let them manage it themselvs? Thoughts?
Sounds like you already have spoken up for them and the criticism continues from his side of the family. I wonder if it occurs to them that your nephew and wife feel the vibes and it makes them uncomfortable? Perhaps unwelcoming? Maybe individually some could offer to watch the baby and let them have a date night or take them a precooked meal to extend warmth?
@Midwestgal I agree with @Bh_5 that they probably pick up on the vibe and with all of the stress that it sounds like they have in their life, who needs to volunteer to be around a critical vibe. My vote is keep speaking up for them since it sounds like they could use some support.
@Bh_5 I love your idea about a precooked meal or watching the baby so they can have a date night. I don’t live close by but I can send an Uber eats gift certificate or something. Gosh I didn’t even think about doing something really actively positive so thanks!