Amanda, it really isn't so bad. I was diagnosed with genital herpes 30 years ago. I felt devastated at the time. And I was ashamed to even admit that I had them. I thought the stigma was gone by now and that AIDS is the one we panic about.
I think that I had genital herpes long before the medical profession knew about genital herpes. While I was in college I would get sores on my labia that were very similar to the ones I had when I was diagnosed 15 years later. Because I was a virgin until I was 30 I asked about getting genital herpes during college. One doctor told me that if one has had chicken pox the herpes virus stays in the system. The sores I had could very well have been the chicken pox herpes and not the genital herpes. I don't know if they can tell a difference among the various types of herpes. They can tell if it is herpes by taking a scraping and examing it under a microscope
Herpes acts different ways for different people. I could have gotten genital herpes, when it was diagnosed, from a partner. However, I was selective and the two that I had been with until that time are still friends. They never did have an outbreak. So I don't think I got it from either of them.
At first I thought people would think I was a bad person and I was ashamed. As the years have gone along I realize that herpes is just an illness that we get; like cold sores and shingles which are also a herpes virus and are not associated with sexual contact. My mother had shingles and suffered everyday with it for years. I've had frequent cold sores since I was in grade school. No big deal! Unless you have an outbreak and then the discomfort can easily become a big deal. But the disease itself is nothing to be ashamed of nor do you need to blame someone else for you getting it.
Genital herpes has that name because they are located in the genital area. If the sores are in your mouth they're oral herpes. On the skin, shingles.
So take several deep breaths and relax. Then see your ob/gyn for a diagnosis. There is medication to both treat and reduce herpes outbreaks. I've seen it advertised on TV and in magazines. Fortunately I seldom have breakouts and when I do they are just a little painful and go away quickly. There is a pill that you can take everyday that helps to prevent outbreaks. My doctor suggested that since I seldom had outbreaks that I not take it. It does have side affects. I don't know what they are.
Now, breakouts in my mouth are another thing. They are quite sore and sometimes last for weeks. There is never enough fluid to provide a diagnosis. The sores could also be an allergic reaction to food. I have a whole bunch of food allergies.
Your genital sores could also be an allergic reaction to personal care products.
If it is herpes the first bout is the most painful. The amount of pain decreases with subsequent outbreaks. For me the number of blisters at any one time has decreased. They've become a 1-2 times per year inconvenience.
I have figured out that stress increases outbreaks. Building up your immune system will help prevent further outbreaks. I take a probiotic which has helped me feel better in several ways. The one I take is Pearls by Dr. Whitaker. I took another kind earlier and that wasn't effective for me. A naturopath could help you figure out what to do and take to increase your body's ability to fend off viruses.
Please remember that herpes does go into remission. This is not something that you will be aware of very often. Yes, you'll have to tell your partner if you get into a relationship. I've found the men in my life to be understanding. My partner of several years didnt even use a condom and he never had an outbreak. I think that there is now a medication that you can take when you're sexually active that will reduce the chance of your partner getting herpes.
Herpes is so common now. And it's nothing compared to AIDS. I suspect that most men will understand and not think of you in a negative way.
And.....it may not even be herpes!!!!Go to the dr to reduce your fears.