The joy of grandparents is gifting. So be honest and set ground rules for her. Explain you are scaling ack due the economy (or whatever) and that it is inappropriate for her to give more then one present or (set a limit like we have $50 total for both kids and Christmas and $25 each brithday...including shipping). If you are brave enough, also tell her you will be needing to scale back the house and bring the extra toys to the consignement store (find one that is cash forward instead of credit) and that moeny will be put into the college fund. And at that time, share the information about the college account you have set up (how much you have saved, what is the goal...how much a year you would like to seeput in etc.) then set that as the gift she should give beyond the limit you set on amount. My father-inlaw, for example is basically paying for our kid's education little by little over every holiday. Or, you can share that your kids are saving up for something really big and expensive. tell her you want it to be something they worked for and choose to save for. So that if she wanted to give $10 cash and then the rest in savings, the kids could decide to put that away for the big toy. Wait, just noticed your kids are young...maybe in a couple of years. so anyway, set the college fund stuff, the cost limit, and don't feel guilty about the selling the stuff off. Oh, and get the Five Love Languages for children. You will see her love language is gifts and understnad a litle more anout that and how to handle that..and see what your kids love language is too.
The responses I've read so far all seem to tell you to set boundaries. Good idea. If she doesn't abide by your guidelines, start selling or giving away. I too hate to get rid of something that is like new and still useful, but enough is enough! Save new toys for Toys for Tots, and give or sell the older ones. There are lots of consignment sales in this area (S Denver). You could make some money to put in your kids college fund. I see that as the only way to take control of the situation from your end.
Brook,
All you can do is share with your mom your feelings about all the presents. Best of luck. Remember to come from a space of love. It is the best way to communicate.
With my whole heart, Colleen
My mom is thesame way!! This is how I redirected her "giving" over the years...
I would tell her a month in advance that would like to give a "big" gift this year and if she would like to go "In" on it, ie: a table and chair set for the kids, or a playhouse, or even a large savings bond to start for each child, Let her know that you want them to be able to go to college someday and that You would love for her to go "in" on one with you. or even tell her of a great store that you saw some darling outfits in and maybe you and her could go to lunch and x-mas shopping together so you could show her how much you adore that store..hint hint.... this way her feelings are not hurt, she feels included and it is a win-win. Someties my mom still gives as much anyway but I also know that I wont have her around forever and it is still fun for the kids and that is what she wants. Good Luck
I have 7 and my MIL is the same way, boundries can sometimes help. But I have come to the realization that I can't stop her from doing it, she is spending her money and it is her's to give away. But one thing that has helped a little especially with the excess is to take it to her house when she gets new things for the kids, she has seen how mush overflow I have and has gotten better about at least asking about something first.
I don't know what the right answer is, this has been going on as long as granparents has exsisted. But GOOD LUCK!
I would just give them back to her. And tell her NO they do not need this, or say ok then that (the gift) and stay at your house for when they come over to visit.
good luck.
Tell her straight up but do it with love.If she does it again,tell her you will be taking the older toys the kids have and donating them to charity…As a grandma,I get in trouble for sending cookies,I get my feelings hurt by one daughter all the time.I do all mine totally out of love not because I want to busy their love…Just tell her again with love or tell her to send you a gift card to take them out for a special dinner or donate a toy to a special child…Grandma here still learning…