My 4 year old daughter is asking me were babbies come from, how do they get in your tummy and how do you get them out of your tummy? Do I tell her? Do I get a book? What do I do?
I have a child (now 15) who was always very inquisitive.
My theory was to always be very open and honest wiith her and establish a good communication system with her so that when she got older, she would know that we always have her back and we will always be honest with her.
I only answered the questions asked and in the terms that she could understand.
At this point, we do have a very good line of communication and can talk to each other about anything.
Good luck!!
I worked at a preschool once and the owner advised someone to just say at that age something like from a tunnel between the mommy's legs. Who knows how much information little people want so I thought that was kind of cool. Of course that might not be what you want to hear and others might think it's kind of nuts, but lots of times little people don't need all of the birds and bees stuff yet. They just want to know a little bit.
My son also asks questions like that. Here is how I answered (since he is still so little). Whether it was the right or wrong way, I don't know, but he has accepted all of this as fact.
I told him, "God puts a baby in a mommy's belly when the mommy and daddy love each other and God thinks it is time." This makes complete sense to him and he will ask me now, "When will God put our baby in your belly?" I figure it works for now!
As for the baby coming out, I had to have a c-section with him, so I told him that "When you were born, the doctor made a small cut in mommy's belly to get you out of me." Again, if you had a vaginal birth, I don't know what to tell you, but he was perfectly fine with that answer.
I hope this helps and good luck...he completely got me the first time he asked! :)
We tell our kids that mom and dads make babies because God wants them to. Not details at all...that has always been good enough. And since both of our boys were c-sections, they think Daddy is a doctor and took them out of my belly. Works well enough :).
Really they don't need much for an answer. Answer to the level of their ability. For her you might try that when 2 people love each other very much they have so much love that it makes a baby. And it needs to grow in a special place in mommy's tummy and the doctor helps them come out when it's time for baby to be born. But if she's anything like my kid she'll want to know more. We have a body book for kids that touches gently on reproduction and he was satisfied with learning that moms have a uterus where the baby grows lol!
Get the book "Amazing You" by Dr Gail Salz. It explains about babies, where they come from (uterus) and where they go (out the vagina) in straightforward language. There is no sex talk, no mention of mommies and daddies together, and she doesn't need that info yet. She does need to know that you will give her a solid answer now so when she's a preteen she won't have to turn to her friends to get the scoop.
I told my children (4 and 7) that when a Mommy and daddy love each other very much they have a special hug and a baby is made.
My 7 year old recently asked me if the doctor cut him out or if I pee'd him out (his words not mine) so I told him I pee'd him out. I did tell him before that I had pushed him out from an area between my legs that only girls have and he seemd fine with that.
I think a book is a good idea if you can find one really simple but kids don't usually need too much information to satisfy their curiosity, just make it really simple. I always try to only answer the exact question without going into too much detail, my kids then sometimes come back later (sometimes months later) with follow up questions and I answer them as briefly as possible.
Good luck, it can be hard to find the right words sometimes :)
At 4, I told my son that when a man & woman love each other a lot, they ask God for a baby and he sends one for them. Then up the ante as you go--a baby grows in the tummy for 9 mos then comes out. etc, etc, etc....
I have a 4 year old who has asked a lot of the same questions. They're pretty easy to pacify at this age! Just tell her that when a man and woman like mommy and daddy love each other, sometimes a little baby starts to grow in the mommy's tummy. I told my son there was a special place on mommies where the baby came out, and he didn't ask any more questions. He said that's "probably your belly button" and for now, I'll let him think that! We've always been very open with him but we haven't really discussed vaginas yet -just hasn't come up -so I haven't seen a real reason to bring them into the conversation!
It is such a tricky subject. You have to give them the answers they are looking for without giving too much information, but also being careful not to lie. Letting your kids believe that babies come out of belly buttons, or that hugs make babies are not part of the truth. They are just flat out fairy tales.
The best way to figure out exactly what your daughter wants to know is by asking her to tell you how she thinks it works. For example, my 3 year old son asked how babies come out. When I asked him what he thought, he said he thought they ripped the belly open. His idea for how they get in there is that we eat them. I was able to just tell him that the mommy pushes the baby out, and that God puts the baby in. That was enough information for him, and I didn't have to get into the ins and outs of vaginas.
What I told my daughter was that when God decides it is the right time for a mommy and daddy, he will put a baby in the mommy's tummy. The baby is kept in a special bag of water that protects it while it grows big and strong. When the baby is big enough, it makes the mommy's tummy squeeze until it pushes the baby out. She didn't ask for any more specifics than that except how her uncle was able to have a baby when he didn't have a wife. I just explained to her that God lets us all make our own choices, even if they are wrong ones... that her uncle and his girlfriend chose to do things out of order, and God let them make that choice.
I have just spent 20 minutes searching for a book I loved-- Dorling Kindersley used to publish it, I think-- which compares the conception processes of dogs, cats and ducks to humans. While I was pregnant, one of the children I nannied for asked me pretty specifically "where does the baby come out?" I told her that mommies have a special passage between their legs where babies come out, and that it's just for babies, not poop or pee. She was 6 at the time and this seemed to satisfy her.
As for the "how did the baby get in there", I won't offer too much advice as each family has their own beliefs. We are a fairly pragmatic family, and when my son asks, I will probably give him a few simple animal examples first and then see what he chooses to ask. "The mama cat has a tiny egg inside her body. The daddy cat has sperm inside his. When the egg and sperm come together, the egg becomes like a seed that begins to sprout-- and the egg grows into a baby kitty." We aren't exactly shy in our house about bodies, etc. and I agree with a previous poster--just answer the question at hand simply. If a child wants more information, they'll ask.
By the way, just took another look online and found a great article "Where Do Babies Come From?" by Wei Yin Wong. Very intelligent advice. I can't give you a URL on this site, but you can google it. It's worth a read. Ultimately, you'll have to find your own way to tell her. Good luck and good conversation!
We have "What's The Big Secret? Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys" by Lauri Krasny Brown, Ed.D and Marc Brown. I read it to my 4 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son. My kids haven't really been asking questions but I wanted it out there that we are there to talk about it. It has two sentences about intercourse but also talks about the differences between girls and boys and how a baby grows in the Mom and is born.- All in kid language. We read it just like any other book. It is just on the book shelf and occasionally they choose it.
I think it may be helpful to you. She may be satisfied with it and it will take some of the discomfort out for you. I think you should be honest with your child without going in to more detail than they are ready for.
Good luck.
I would just say she will understand when she is older. That is what my mom told me a lot lol