I have a beautiful- now five month old daughter. She is the light of my life. Ok- let's be real. Except when she throws fits. :) I am struggling with nap time. She usully has to have about four naps during the day in order to not be fussy. However- she has days- many days- where she simply will not take a nap. You can tell she's tired- she's rubbing her eyes, doesn't want to play, is fussy. But when I lay her down, she throws fits. Sometimes, it takes an hour or more of rocking her, letting her cry it out and occasionally reassuring her by picking her up and cuddling. I've tried everything I know. I'm making sure she isn't hungry- I often waste formula thinking she may be hungry when she's not. I'm making sure her diaper is clean, and changed. I know she is teething- so I give her those dissolvable teething tablets. This doesn't happen all the time- but usually once a day- especially nearing real bed time. I have tried to keep a routine going by dinner time, bath time, cuddle time, and then bed. But often times- even the rountine doesn't inhibit the tantrums. Am I doing something wrong? Is this behavior normal? Please give me some advice. I often spend the entire evening struggling to deal with these tantrums which leaves very little time for myself.
WOW! This sounds exactly like my grandson. It turned out he has allergies out the wazoo, then he developed asthma. It was definitely a learning experience for us as he was unique to our family that way. The easiest thing for us to change immediately was our cleaning products and it also made the most sense as we are 'married' to our cleaning products: breathing and wearing those chemicals 24/7. The grandson still has an asthma machine; however, we haven't had to use it. I'm not saying this is your issue - what I am saying is that it's a very good possibility. Kids, especially babies, immune systems are not built up like an adults; and for those who take antibiotics - it's even worse. We've taken additional steps with diet and purifying our water and air.
Babies can't talk and it's a guessing game trying to figure out what may be troubling them. You are doing fine as a Mom, pat yourself on the shoulder.
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• Sodium hydroxide
• Hydrochloric acid
• Butyl cellosolve (2-Butoxyethanol)
• Formaldehyde
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• Ammonia
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• Sulfuric acid
• Lye (potassium hydroxide)
• Morpholine
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Hope this info helps and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to email me back or give me a call.
God Bless,
~V~
I have a 16 month old and remember the days of the nap fighting (still happens but not as often). I ended up giving in and buying the Sleep Sense Program online. It really helped. Its not cheap though.
I don't think it's normal for her to be throwing a tantrum. I think when babies cry like you've explained, there is something else that's going on. You just have to work with her and see what she likes during nap time. My son at that age really like to cuddle and lay down with me. One night he was crying and pulled my shirt to him and started rubbing my shirt. I went and got him a taggie. www.taggie.com They are usually located at Hallmark stores or sometimes in Department stores. My son has the smallest blanket there is. It has little tags hanging from the edges and once I got something for him to cuddle and hold, he would go to sleep easier. I never rocked him, never. Holding something in his hands is all he needed.
I also started giving him a bath right before nap and used some soothing bath wash. This was down time for him and he seemed relaxed after bath. I didn't give him 4-5 baths a day but somewhere in there, he'd get a bath.
I also did not ever play with him closer to nap and get him all roused up and happy. Sometimes people would be over getting him all excited and this wasn't good and then it was a battle before nap.
You also may want to try a swing. My son LOVED a swing. Sometimes my husband would sleep on the couch at night near bedtime and my son would be in the swing sleeping until he was good and asleep. Then he would be moved to his crib.
AND if all else fails? Take her on a ride in the car...babies seem to sleep well in the car!
You are showing her that she can throw a fit and that you will go and pick her up. She is fine if she throws fits. You better get her out of this before school starts and she has to go to the daycare. Then she will be hard on them. Lay her down and leave her. Give her a considerable amount of time to cry. If after 30 min then she is not asleep then go get her. But the next time it will need to be a longer time. She has learned that if she cries you will pick her up. The days that she is not taking a nap but you think that she is sleepy then you need to try an activity with her also. She may not have gotten enough stimulation before you are putting her down. If you want to rock her then get a sertain amount of tiem that you plan on rocking. Either while you read a chapter in your book or while a few songs play then lay her down. Don't let her mandate the amount of time that you will hold or she will keep on mandateing to you. You are the parent what you says goes.
Making her cry it out is probably stressing her out more and sleeping has become an insecure experience for her, which has exacerbated the problem.
You can probably make life a lot easier for yourself and your daughter by pre-empting the whole fight. Start earlier with your daughter. Every time nap time is coming up, make her environment quieter and calmer. Put some lavender oil in a warm pot on the stove. Try keeping the TV off more. The noise and general stimulation, even if quiet, is a lot for babies and young children. Start slowing down with your daughter, talking more quietly, turning down the lights and/or drawing the curtains. Read to her in a lulling voice. Make it all as pleasant as possible. Don't necessarily say it's nap time, or will be nap time soon (at 5 months, she doesn't have the concept of "15 minutes from now," and, anyway, it's become an ISSUE and bringing it up when she's not ready for it will probably just upset her). Just, 15-30 minutes before her nap, start winding things down. You can't force sleep on a child, but you can make it very enticing! If she ends up not sleeping, just spend that time cuddling with her. The rest will at least help her, and in the long run, it will help her find naps and bedtime much safer-feeling.
Good luck!
Liev
My husband is in the Army and was gone for 7 months, and I treasured my alone time once the baby went to bed. I totally understand your frustration! Both my girls would get like that, crazy fussy, occasionally during teething time and I hated it! You mentioned she takes 4 naps, do you think she might only need 3? I would try looking at her nap schedule to see if she maybe needs naps earlier or later. And what time do you put her to her last nap and for bed? I know every child is different but I have found if they go down around 3 or later it makes bed time so much harder. We have bed time at 7 and that works for us. I recommend reading Healthy sleep habit, Happy baby; it has some great advice for kids who are having difficulties with sleeping. I hope things get better for you!
I have had the same issues with my 9 month old since the beginning. She's getting better though, going down for naps and sleeping through the night. Your baby is probably just high energy and has a hard time winding down. Keep up with the routine and she will eventually fall into it. Things started getting better for us around 7 months. Also, I find that on days when I take her places (park, library, grocery shopping, anywhere) she sleeps better. Wear that child out! 4 naps sounds like a lot too. I finally gave up on a morning nap and wouldn't even try to put her down until after lunch or when she was visibly tired. Now she takes morning naps sometimes, but always a long afternoon nap. One two hour nap is better than fighting all day for 4 short ones. Hope this helps.
HI,
The only thing I could think of is the day schedule!! You have a good night schedule but 4 naps a day come on. since she is young she should still take a morining nap and an after noon nap. Four will make her restless for the rest of the day. You know when you get woken up 4 times a night with her and the next morning you feel ssssoooooo tired. well imagine how she feels falling asleep waking up and on and on. I am a 24 year old mother of 2 boys ages 2 and 4 and they are on a tight schedule. Breakfast, lunch, Nap, snack, dinner, bath, teeth, prayers, nite nite time. Doing this my children sleep all night and 2 hours at nap. This gives me my time cause I go to school online. Give her time she is only 5 months old. If none of this helps go see her doctor my youngest had colic and now has migraine headaches and it beomes hard for him to sleep. But I think she is just being rotten!!! lol!
Desiree
Stephie,
Maybe she is old enough to be changing to three naps per day. Babies usually go through a week or two of transition like this as they grow, everytime their sleeping needs/patterns change. Does she like a swing? My babies often took daytime naps in their swing. Switching to 3 naps per day may make her tired enough to fall asleep quicker at night. Babies are notorious for being fussy at dinner time, they probably sense the stress in the house at that time
Yes it is normal, but at this point they are not tantrums in my own opinion. She has no way to tell you what she needs or wants. I have three high needs kids I call them,lol. Just keep in mind this age or phase will not last forever. I know your need well to have a moments peace to yourself. But this time goes so quickly take it to snuggle her and let her know you care more than anything you are all she has. And youc an rotate the teething tablets and tylenol every 2 hours by the way it is the only thing that got me through my first child's (girl) first year, she cried all the time, and also would only take about 20 minute naps during the day and would nOT sleep at night. Soon she will be the 5 year old not wanting to hang out with you at all, and sleeping in. SO try to have patience and be happy with your crying little one and if you are overly concerned go tot the pediatrician and get a professional opinon. Som kids just are not sleepers! Good luck..
Four naps are a lot. I would try cutting her back to two naps. One in the morning and one in the afternoon should be sufficient.
HI,
I agree with the other posters that 4 naps may be too many, but only you know your child, and it is possible she needs all 4. Here is what I would do. Try putting her to nap a little earlier than you are doing. When babies get overtired they have a hard time falling asleep and they may not sleep as long. Once you find the right timing, she may sleep better (and longer) and therefore reduce the number of naps she is getting. Try reading Better Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It is excellent and addresses all kinds of sleep issues and normal sleep patterns.
The other thing I would mention is that you do look like you have tried letting her cry it out, but sometimes to actually get it to work you will have to let her cry the whole time without going in to comfort her. There are different schools of thought on this and the book will go into all of them. I tend to do what you are doing and work my way into it, but I do think it probably would go faster if I would just do it from the beginning where I don't go in. But it is hard, and I have never been able to do it right away. Naptimes and schedules can be a rough transition time, but if you work at it, it will eventually fall into place.
One other thing I would mention is that if she is teething, try tylenol for the pain rather than the teething tablets just to see if they are more effective.
Hope you find something that works. :)
Miriam
4 naps seems like too many for a 5 month old. 2 good naps will probably be better. It will take time but you can transition her. Look for early early cues that she is getting tired about 3-4 hours after she wakes up in the morning. As soon as you notice she is slowing down,start to initiate nap routine. (for example- Bottle if needed, teething meds, diaper change, short story, then crib with paci) Come up with a routine that works for you - if you have a good bedtime routine, try to do a mini version so she knows whats coming. Repeat in the afternoon about 3 -5 hours after she wakes from morning nap, again watching closely for those early clues that she is getting tired.
Give her a few minutes to be fussy. If she falls asleep then wakes only 10-15 minutes later try just giving the paci again if you use one, rubbing her back and telling her to go back to sleep. Give her a few minutes to try and sleep again. It won't work in one day, but if you are consistant, she will transition to longer naps. Trying lots of different things day after day to soothe her isn't helping, babies love routine. Pick the thing that works the most, and stick with it.
She is getting frustrated and throwing these tantrums because she is trying to send you a message that she needs something. There is a golden time zone when you can get a baby to lie down to sleep. If you miss it, they get overtired quickly, and worked up because they are exhausted and fussy, and makes it harder to get them to sleep, so watch for those early signs!!!
First, don't label this a tantrum. As a K teacher, you've seen tantrums - a response to frustration where a child screams and yells - either unable or unwilling to express themselves in another way. Your infant is not choosing this response (but give her a few more months and she will :-)
All infants are different, so it is hard to say whether this is "normal". But infants can be extremely fussy at certain times of the day, some infants can have difficulty settling down and falling asleep. The infant stage lasts a short time (it just seems forever right now), so rock her, cuddle her and this to shall pass.
After having 9 children of my own, I can tell you this can be normal. Every child is different. I had a child that was awake every night from 12 a.m. until 3 a.m. Of course, I guess doctors would say it was colic, but it was hard for me sometimes. Realize sometimes babies just don't live on a schedule. Enjoy what time you can with her and do your best to try to get her wound down for bedtime at night so you can get some sleep. These months will pass all too quickly and she will be grown faster than you can imagine. Maybe she needs one less nap each day. If you could cut an earlier nap she might go to bed easier at night. I found with my own children a nap that lasted past 2 or 3 p.m. in the day would mean it was difficult to get them to bed at night. There is no set rules; but, I hope this maybe will help you.
Stephie,
So sorry to hear you are going through this alone. Sometimes children will do things to get their way or attention. A long time ago my great aunt advised me "Choose your battles" This bit of advice has come in handy many times through life. even with my 15 year old daughter now. Perhaps try a routine of sitting with a book to calm her down. I found when my daughter was small, this gave both of us some quality time. Once she was settled down, it was easier to get her down for a nap. Enjoy your time with her while she is young, they grow up so quickly. Theses are trying times. Remember she is young and just not in control of herself yet. I've found positive attention an easy way of getting what it is YOU want. Hope all this helps.
Hang in there, the reading and cuddle time should help. Good luck! Sandra--- I wish I was back to those days, little babies little problems, big babies- big problems.
Yes, this is normal. She is "fighting sleep". But, by the time she is 5 months old, she may only need 2 naps a day. One in the morning and one in the afternoon, and she might sleep for longer periods of time.
From reading the responses, it seems like people are thinking about a 5 YEAR old, not a 5 MONTH old. 5 MONTH olds do not throw tantrums. She is frustrated because she's trying to tell you something and you can't understand and meet whatever need she is having. My DD had colic for 5 months. She screamed for 14 hours straight one time, but I didn't leave her to cry alone. I enlisted the help of my mom & grandmother, but if you don't have family around, please ask a friend to relieve you some, so that you don't go crazy.
~Audrey~
I think 4 naps a day is too many. She should get about 3 1/2 sleep a day total. I would consult Gina Ford's, the British Nanny, book The Contented Little Baby. I have used it for 4 kids and am doing it currently with my 4 month old. Get the book but 4 to 6 month old schedule is 9to 10am nap, 12 to 2pm nap, 4 to 5pm nap, go down at 7pm, wake to feed at 10pm. You need the book to tell you about changes and growth spurts. And also feeding times.
So, to answer your question, your 5 month old is not capable of tantrums you just need to adjust her schedule