Just tell them the truth, answer any questions they have truthfull that way they know that anytime they talk to you about stuff you will be truthful.
Mary~
http://www.amazon.com/I-Miss-You-First-Death/dp/0764117645/ref=cm_lmf_tit_4
This book received some really good reviews.
Here is the link to read the "most helpful" review too, it gives a good description of the book:
http://www.amazon.com/review/R2WF1WTDY2MX78/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R2WF1WTDY2MX78
You may want to check it out.
It is suitable for preschool age.
The best to you & your family at this time.
:o)
~DeAyn
Hi Mary, this is a tough one. I worked in a classroom for children at risk for abuse and neglect and we had a child who was dealing with death. This child was talking about it with the other kids. Being the kind of school we were, we had mental health specialists on staff. They told us to never say that the person was sick. Children get sick all the time and they may then worry that they will die when they get sick. Their grandma may in fact be sick, just don't say, "grandma got sick and died" a simple "grandma died" will work. As far as what to say, i guess it sort of depends on whether or not you are religious. When my mom died, my step daughter was 2 and she said "Grandma Rita went to heaven to be with God." She was attending a christian school at the time, and she came up with that all by herself. I am sorry I wasn't much help as to what to say, but I hope i helped with what not to say. I do think it is importatnt that they see you greive. They learn a lot from us,and if we keep it in, they will learn to keep their feelings in also. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
When my grandma passed last year, my sister and I both had 3 year olds, we took them to see her when she was ill and then after she passed we took them to clean her stuff out of her room (she was in a nursing home) of course right away they asked where is grandma...we told them she is in heaven and is now an angel. Every now and then I will show my daughter pictures and remind her of her great-grandma and that she is watching her from heaven. We also let them have something special from her room, you could give your daughter one of her grandma's necklaces or if she has any stuffed animals. I will keep your family in our prayers tonight.
I would like to thank everyone for their help and suggestions. We answered her questions honestly, without going into extra details. The book “The Fall of Freddy the Leaf” was probably as helpful to me as to my daughter. That book combined with “The Tiny Seed” showed great examples of the circle of life. I did bring my children to the wake and funeral. I told my daughter it was a good-bye party for Grammie and everyone that loved her was going to get together and talk about how much they were going to miss her and give each other lots of hugs. We took them to the funeral mass, but a dear Aunt read them stories in the car while Daddy and Mommy went to the grave side service. I do not know how much she understands. She wanted to email Grammie yesterday, and I had to explain it all over again. She regressed a bit but seems to be coming out of it. Both of my children have thrown a lot more tantrums the past two weeks, but most of the time a hugs helps them get through it. Thank you, every one, for your support and suggestions. It is obviously a very difficult time, but we have a great start toward getting through it together.