It so hard that our young ladies are growing up so fast. If your daughter wants to do this to feel more comfortable about herself, I would let her now and not worry about her age. If she is doing it to be "cool" then I would make her wait. At this special preteen years they really need to feel good about them selves. I have twin step daughters. One starting shaving at 11 becasue she was much more hairy. She is a wonderful girl who felt so embarrassed about her legs, so we let her. Her sister on the other hand didn't have much hair, so she didn't even ask and just starting shaving at 13. Good luck with everything and the years ahead. :)
Hazel, I say let her shave her legs. I have blonde hair and being hairy is not something I have personal experience with. However, my daughters both are dark haired girls and when they were young, especially my baby, they began shaving at what I felt was an early age (10). They were uncomfortable and that's all that mattered. They said kids made fun of them and that's all I needed to hear. No one was going to have a reason to laugh at my baby unless she was a comedian. You know? She should not be made to feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. It is a sign that your baby is growing up but putting it off will not stop her from growing up. Embrase it and let her do it. Give her an electric razor, show her how to use it and move on to the next issue when it comes. Best of luck to you and your tween!
You are the mom and make the rules, but waxing, that's more trauma than shaving. My daughter started shaving at 10 and 1/2 years old. And she has blonde hair. Kids tease so bad these days. Why not let her shave? Maybe you don't want to realize she's growing up? It's hard I know. How old were you when you started shaving? You should sit with her and teach her how to shave. It's an amazing mom/daughter moment. If it is the razor then let her use Veet or Nair with the razorless razor. My daughter loved it and was glad she wouldn't knick herself in the process. Good luck.
What's wrong with shaving? If she has so much hair at age 11, let her shave. I am 39 years old and I have never shaved my legs (why would I put myself through that pain?!?!?!) I do have my bikini line and lips waxed though. That I can handle. Waxing my legs, no thanks. I choose to shave. Over the many years of shaving, I have noticed it's grown in less, so I don't believe that wives tales that if you shave it comes back coarser or something. Complete nonsense.
Nair is a chemical, so I wouldn't do nair. Just let her shave. Teacher her how or do it for her. I heard an incredible speaker and author last night in my community (Barbara Coloroso, Kids are Worth it! she also wrote a book about Bullies and Children & Trauma).
http://kidsareworthit.com/
She says that you need to give children choices. They need to grow up feeling competent and able to make their own decisions. You don't want them listening to their parents (doing as the parent says always) ALL time because then you train them to only listen to others (instead of their own inner guidance) and then they turn to their peers (they were trained so well). Unless the decision is harmful, life-threatening, let them make the choice. This is an easy choice for her to have. Let her have a say in her own body.
Hazel,
I'm so confused as to what the difference would be between the shaving or waxing? Except for the PAIN of waxing!! My daughters are only 2 and 11 months (and 7 months in my tummy), but I know that I will face this situation early. I myself shave my legs AND arms due to my fair skin and dark hair...my husband too has hairy legs and arms and we call our girls little monkey's! I think if we can do anything these days to boost our childrens self confidence and help them along during the difficult times then we should :) Their self images are so fragile! I say show her how to do it...don't buy a cheap razor for sure, get the good stuff, and make it fun! Then, you get to go shopping for new shorts! Imagine what a happy little girl you will have! All the best, Susan
Let her shave her legs. Some things are not worth fighting about. You will have enough issues in the future. I would rather have hot pokers stuck in my eyes than have my arms waxed. I don't blame her. The thought of having it ripped from my body hurts to think about it.
This might be one of the things you might want to let go. She is at a critcal age where her felt security is all about appearance. I wouldn't let her wear Make-up but shaving her legs can't hurt.
Good Luck
Nina
Everyone matures and reaches puberty at different ages. You did not mention why you are not letting her shave, only that you think she is too young. Well, you said she has dark, course hair, so she is clearly not too young. She is feeling self concious, and embarrased of her body. Is this what you want her to feel? She should be proud of her body, and if shaving will allow her to do that, then great! What is the difference between waxing and shaving? It gets the hair off either way, but the waxing will hurt a whole lot more. Allow her to make an informed decision for herself on what she wants to do. She should be made to feel that she can start to have some choices about what she can do with her body. Also, you don't want her seeing puberty and maturing as a negative time, one that was kicked off with a very painful, and possibly traumatic (for a 11 yr. old) experience.
Good luck.
First of all, you're the Mama, so you get to make the decision - not all those of us who will give you advice.
I have four daughters and I held off the older ones from shaving from when they first asked because I didn't want them to do it out of peer pressure. My youngest, however, started shaving very early because she was so hairy (Mom thought it was cute, but my daughter didn't). As it turns out, my older ones (adults now) tell me how awful it was for them that they couldn't shave when they felt it was time - they were so embarrassed about the hair on their legs.
As for waxing - it will be torture for her...it's torture for us grown-ups! I'm not sure that would be the best way, or even a good way, to handle it.
But, again, you're the Mama - you'll know the right way to take care of this!
Good luck and God Bless!
Personally, I don't understand why you wouldn't let her shave. When I was that age I ended up finding a razer and doing it myself, without my parents approval. In a year or so all her friends will be doing it anyway. Let her feel good about herself, especially if she's so self conscious already. PS - I have a 17 year old daughter and let her shave and showed her how (and other options also) when she first asked.
Why is waxing acceptable, but shaving is not?
Hazel, I bought my daughter some Nair, it foams up and you scrabe it off, very easy to do, you might have to help her a couple of times, but I bought the nair with aloe vera, worked perfect, dont have her waxed ouchie, was is Nair not an option, so instead let her feel bad about her legs, why don't you shave them for her then, Your wrong mom 100 % 3 boys 1 girl, good gawd... pamper her, your a mean mom
Hi Hazel,
I think creating an arbitrary age to shave is a mistake. It's obviously affecting your daughter's self esteem. You seem to have very strong feelings on the subject, such as not using Nair and having her wait one more year. Why is painful waxing better than shaving? You can show her the proper way to shave so she isn't hard on her skin. Please help make your daughter's life easier, it'll be tough enough when she reaches puberty.
Vicki
If she's that self consious, maybe you should let her shave. I was 13 when I started, but my older sister got to start earlier because she was more developed and had darker hair. Kids are cruel. I think I'd rather have her risk a few nicks and shave than wax.
Just my honest opinion.
jenni
Waxing hurts. There's no way around that. I wouldn't traumatize her with that. Just let her shave. It's quick, PAINLESS and cheaper. If your thinking about allowing hair removal then the method by which the hair is removed shouldn't matter.
I don't think it does any harm in shaving. Really what is the difference between shaving, waxing or nair? It all removes it. When I was your daughters age I had alot of dark hair on my legs. I did not wear shorts. I was really embarassed. My mom took me to get my legs waxed. It Hurt ALOT and then a few weeks later my aunt convinced her to let me shave. Unfortunatley today image is everything to a girl. Don't make her feel bad about herself. At least she's not asking for a tatoo!!! LOL
Good Luck!
My daughter is 7 and has already started asking questions about waxing! Our little girls are just growing up way too fast. I told her that as soon as she is growing hair under her arms, I will show her how to shave her underarms AND her legs. Until her body matures to that point, shaving is a no-no. That being said, I started shaving at 10, out of necessity. So I'd say if your daughter has already got hair under her arms, let her shave. Speaking from experience, school and peer pressure are hard enough without the mortifying thought of someone seeing hairy underarm! Good luck.
If the point is to remove the hair, shaving is less traumatic on the body. It can be done any time day or night, and costs much less. Also, the myths about hair growing in thicker and darker is a myth. There is no truth to it at all.
Hello Hazel
Why dont you get her an Electric Shaver??? I really think they are or will be better just from my own experience...
If you feel she is too young, why are you offering to WAX her?? Either she is too young or not! I don't know why you feel it is o.k. to wax but not to shave??? Anyways...I have a daughter (12) and she is in Middle School this year. I let her shave last summer -before middle school! I think once they enter Middle School they feel much more comfortable and don't "stick out" as much if they shave! You are sending your daughter mixed messages by telling her she can wax but not shave, and she is too young and needs to wait, but she dosen't have to wait to wax??? If hse is self concious about herself it is your job as her mother to make her feel good again! you can explain that only one of her friends shaves and that no one else does so she is NOT the only one. You might want to let her know that no one is really paying attention, it is all in her hear. Let her know she is beautiful no matter what other people do or say! She needs to be true to herself! You need to be setting rules either she can remove the hair or she will have to wait a few years! No mixed messages!
Good Luck!
I was 11 and felt the same way as your daughter. I wasn't aloud to shave and it was sooo embarrassing. I know you want her to wait on shaving but what if you showed her how and then even helped her the first few times. I wasn't aloud because my guardian felt that it wasn't important and that hurt more and anything. He told me I was to young and to deal with it. Maybe trying different options with her will be helpful. I am not sure if this helps but if she is a responsible kid and you and her have a good relationship she may not mind you sitting in once a week or so on bath time to help her shave. Just a thought.