I feel for you in having to make this decision and thought I'd share my rule for decision making. Will I regret it if I do or don't do something? So often thinking about how I will feel about something after the fact helps me greatly with making the decision - rarely have I found myself to have made the wrong decision later.
If you simply want another opinion, I would have the surgery. Yes, the general anesthesia is a concern, but overall, it sounds like a pretty simple procedure. I think this is one case where you have the power to protect your child and to make her life easier. Yes, she may become a stronger person if she needs to learn to deal with this on her own, but she will have plenty of hurdles in life that will make her a strong person. Why not remove one of them for her if you can? I would be perfectly comfortable with the white lie of making her ears work better, although she may be expecting to hear better after the surgery :)!
Good luck with your decision - I hope all the pros and cons will help you!
Lisa,
I say go for it. I understand your delima of what to tell her. Will she even remember? I dont remember much when I was six but since this is such a big thing she might. Then again, if you make it "a big thing" she definately will remember it. Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you will make the right one.
ps. My ears still poke out of my hair and I would have loved it if my parents did it for me! I was teased when I was young as well.
Lisa,
I'm so sorry for all the judgmental comments you have gotten. That being said, you know what's best for your little girl. I would probably do the procedure and go with the "It will make your ears work better" angle. You will have plenty of time to explain the real reason when she is a little older and can understand without it affecting her self-esteem (becuase it will no longer be an issue). As a previous poster noted, parents don't think twice about putting braces on their kids. That process is definitely painful and sometimes involves anesthesia, too, like when they have to pull teeth. And to those that are so negative, quit being so hateful. We all are mothers who just want the best for our children...
I didn't read the responses you have received. I had this surgery when I was 6 and I am now 37. I am thankful that my parents went ahead and did this for me. I remember a lot from my childhood and remember after the surgery having bandages around my head (the only part which I recall being 'bad' about it all) but that didn't last long. I don't recall my parents having any big discussions with me about it beforehand, probably just told me I was going in for an operation to 'fix' my ears! I also don't recall being in any pain. I have never doubted my parents thinking I wasn't perfect -you're doing it because you love her. I did have kids tease me, call me dumbo, which probably the deciding factor in my parents' decision. If my parents had to make the decision again today or if I had to make that decision for one of my children, I would do it with confidence and I know my mom and dad would do it again or support me in doing it for my child. It really is difficult in making a decision for elective surgery, but this is one that I think your already beautiful daughter will thank you for when she is an adult and appreciates what you did for her. Good luck :) Laurie
I would do this if it is an extreme case and will cause her a lot of heartache later. Kids can be cruel. I'm not sure what to tell her, but I wouldn't make a big fuss about it whatever you decide to tell her. best wishes for you and your daughter!
Go for it. The timing is perfect since summer's around the corner. Kids can be REALLY cruel, even unintentionally. I had glasses from the time I was 3 untill I got contacts as a teenager. 4-eyes was the most common name and it was pretty constant. Hated it!! My son is getting a birthmark removed by Dr. John Burns at Childrens (nevus sebaceous- get's huge and warty at puberty and 20% chance of cancerous cells developing). I don't know if he does ears, but maybe call Childrens and see if they can refer you to someone.
I know this question is almost a year old, but I'm wondering what you did? I'm dealing with this same situation and really stuggling with it. I would love to know what you did and how things turned out. Also, how you presented this to your daughter. That's were I'm having the hardest time.
I had the procedure done when I was 9 yrs old ( I am now 29). It was one of the best decisions my parents ever made for me. I am now in your situation though. I have a 7yr old daughter whose ears protrude. She has never said anything about it, and I do not know how to bring it up without pointing out the fact that I think they stick out. I also thought of telling her it was for medical reasons (make them work better). I came upon your question while I was searching for a way to talk to my daughter about it, and I just wanted to let you know I feel for you and can relate with you and your daughter. I think the surgery would be a positive thing. Kids are cruel, I can remember, in full detail, the 2 times I overheard kids laughing at me and that was 20 yrs ago. good luck!!
I'm in Rowlett ..close to Plano and am considering the same surgery for my kindergarten soon to be first grade son. I would love to know what doctor you used if you did end up having the surgery performed . I called one doctors office today and she gave me a $10,000 quote which I thought was high based on what I've read. I was hoping for $5-6,000 range since I'm not sure our insurance will pay for it.
I realize this is an old post, but just curious as to what you decided. My daughter had Otoplasty at age 9. I’m sorry I ever let her do it. Her ears are uneven, one is way closer to her head than the other. We even had it re-done 6 months after initial surgery. It only fixed it a little bit. I’m consumed by it and feel deep regret about the decision I made. (She’s happy with it but she’s only 11 now. I worry that in the future it will bother her when she is more aware of her appearance.)
We are in the exact same boat today with my 4 year old son. I am looking for guidance and any advice. Did you end up doing on not doing the surgery? I would love feedback if you are willing to share.