My father in law suffered a stroke last year at the age of 66. He has not regained control of his left side and apparently will not. He currently doesphysical therapy outisde of the home three - four times a week. My mother in law (56 yrs old) has had to quit her job to care for my FIL 24-7, and he requires a lot of assistance at this point. The problem is that they can barely afford to remain in their home with her not working, but she can't get a job if she is up all night with my FIL and there is no guarentee that he will remain in therapy and may be home more or all the time. Putting him in a home is not what anyone wants to do. For the most part he has his mind, although he does lack reason at times (insisting that this year we do a live manger scene the yard, plans to water ski at the lake this year, repeats the same conversation over and over, etc. etc.)... During a family discussion recently the question was posed about possibly moving them both into a retirement community type situation that offers assistance with my FIL. Is there such a place? Suggestions?
Hi Jennifer. I completely understand what you and your family is going through. Your MIL is an amazing woman for all of the work that she is doing to assist your FIL. It is a hard job. To answer your question, there are many places out there that can assist you. I have grown up in the Delmar Gardens/Garden Villas family (my parents have worked there for 25 years)so I know quite a bit about AL and Retirement Communities. Trust me, there are places to assist you. It all depends on finances, if they sell their home, what scale you want/need and how much care your FIL actually needs. I also worked for a software company that did sw for nursing and retirment communities so I know of all different types of communities all over the country and in the STL are. If you would like to discuss it in more detail fee free to send me a message. I would be happy to discuss it with you. Good Luck!
Jennifer Im sorry to hear about your FIL, especially at his age. My husband has been working in the Senior living
industry for over 30 years in some capacity from inspections to management. Ive heard about many
situations over the years. Also some personal experience
with family. If you know if he had any Active military
service you should check out what they could offer in the
way of services for him. Being a full time caretaker is
really hard work , your MIL needs help ,or she is in
danger of getting hurt or becoming ill from all the stress. Its not cheap to stay in a facility of anytype
if they could remain in their home with help, this might
be a better option money wise and for their mental well being. Just my 2 cents though.The best to you and your family during this challenging time.
Just to reinforce what the other two suggestions have given: I, too, work in a "long term care setting" and the options are numerous pending need and finances. I am a physical therapist myself, and unfortunately, many people underestimate the energy it takes to provide around the clock caregiving as your MIL does. So, please, speak to a social worker or contact the previous poster who offered assistance. From in-home assistance, to a facility where your FIL receives care and your MIL doesn't to a "community" where there are various levels of care on the same campus, there are options that could ease the burden of care and still financially work for your family. Good luck and thank you for reaching out to help your FIL and MIL. It is truly a work of love to care for our family members but also a blessing!