You said “bring a Halloween treat to share” and you expected…lasagna? Crudités? No…“Halloween treats” are candy and cookies, candy apples, etc.
Call this a potluck. Just think about whether bringing food is the “price of admission” to the party, or, will you let it slide if some people come empty-handed.
I don’t think potlucks are tacky at all, unless you are expecting people to bring a gift (like for a birthday). Otherwise, I think it’s a great way to afford to have more than one party a year haha.
With a halloween party you have a fun way of encouraging people to be creative with food. You could offer a “prize” for the most creative halloween food item perhaps? If it is an evite, you could request that guests RSVP with what they intend to bring so there aren’t multiple items (I do that ALL the time, otherwise I end up with the same dry boring grocery store cookies!).
Good luck. I wish I was getting an invite! Sounds like an awesome party.
Personally, I would pay for the food. If it was your first time, I would definitely make it potluck, but you have already set a precedent in providing the meal as well as the entertainment.
In the end, you can do as you like. This is just my opinion! 
I think its fine to ask people to bring food to this type of party-its not like its a birthday or a shower. Our neighborhood does this every year and as others have said, we call it a potluck. On the invitation the host family sends out, it says “Each family should bring a two liter of soda and a covered dish to share”. In our area, “covered dish” is code for “real food”. Not snacks, cookies, or candy.
If you wish to follow etiquette then I guess a truly invited party that you are hostessing should include food. That said then etiquette also says each and every family attending should also bring you a hostess gift. Anything from a bottle of wine to a candle to a gift card for a meal out.
But this sounds like an annual bash that will evolve each year. Many don’t want to host and would prefer to be told…please bring a favorite fall dish to share for our potluck while the kids enjoy the festivities. I would not have problem with this and would expect that if you put on a great party entertainment wise that they would be happy to spend 10.00 on a dish to share. If you hear grumblings I suggest ending your hospitality for a year. Many don’t realize that they had a good thing going with minimal effort until its gone. Have a great bash.
Our friends have a HUGEvHalloween party every year. Their invite states that they will cover the main dishes, please “bring a dessert, appetizer, or side dish to share.”
OR you’re gonna have to call it a potluck. As for meat, veggie, app, side or salad.
I think as long as you word it as a “potluck”, it’s just fine to ask people to bring food. I’ve been invited to potlucks where the invitation said “Last names A - F, bring an appetizer for 6 - 8, Last names G - K, bring a main dish for 3 - 4”…something along those lines. As long as we all knew that THIS was the type of party it was, nobody had any problems with it. Like you said, we understood the host was providing entertainment and the party space for many people, and we all knew how much fun it would be.
If I got an invitation for a small, intimate dinner party and the host said “please bring your own food”, I’d be like “WHAT?! Tacky!”
But yours is obviously a huge, yearly bash, which will keep getting bigger, most likely. Turning it into a potluck is just fine.
I think if you are throwing a party, you should supply all the parts of the party, including the food. If you can’t afford to do it for 70 people than scale down but I would not ask people to bring stuff. They can stay at home and save money or come to your party and have to buy/make stuff.
Plus, just as you can’t dictate what people buy you for your wedding/showers etc. you can’t dictate what they bring to your party if asked to. You can’t really say “Hey bring some food and make sure it’s good food, we don’t want any crap store bought stuff”.
Now if you are sitting around with good friends and decide to throw a Halloween party for the kids and work together to decide who brings food then that’s fine, but only for the close friends who decided to do it together. My friends and I host parties and we all come up with some dishes for each other to bring to the persons house who decided to host. Any guests that are not part of the close group are not asked to bring anything though.
It’s only tacky to ask guests to bring food if it is a party they are expected to bring a gift to. I agree with others who mentioned that “a Halloween treat to share” sounds like you are asking for store bought cookies or candy. Ask for appetizers, veggie platters, side dishes, desserts etc.
If its too expensive, don’t do it, or don’t complain about what people bring. I’ve had graduation parties with a $300 water slide that didnt cost me “a thousand” ???
It isn’t tacky to invite people to a potluck!
To get real food, tell people that you will handle the main and dessert, and ask them to bring sides. I find that at potlucks everyone brings store bought dessert, unless you specify.
Then, tell your close friends what you need. I always tell my friends exact,y what kind of help I need when we throw parties, even down to the recipe sometimes ( s, I love your black bean salad, could you bring that).
So invite people to a potluck, design categories, and ask them to RSVP with the type of food they are bringing.
Eta: I like the dividing it by last name idea!
We had friends where we used to live who put on an amazing Halloween party just like this. They had tons of games, prizes, a haunted house and amazing decorations. The kids got prizes for each game. They went crazy dressing up. All the kids had a BLAST. They did it potluck style too. Each guest had to bring something to contribute. They let everyone know each year it was a potluck and they directed what you were to bring. Like: a drink, a main dish, a veggie dish, a dessert. You had to make it spooky though…like punch with floating eyeballs, witch finger sandwiches. It was so much fun looking up a halloween food recipe and making it each year. I think potlucks are wonderful and see nothing wrong with them. I love potlucks and would never be offended. But I have met people who don’t like potlucks…they believe if you invite people to your house you supply all the food. I think it’s a cultural thing or something. I think there was nothing wrong with what you did. Next time state POTLUCK on the invitation and specifically give each guest directions on what kind of food they should bring like our friends do for their amazing party. I think your Halloween Party sounds incredible. Keep it up!! Do not worry about what a minority of people might or might not think.
I just had a party for about 30 people and we spent close to $400 dollars on food and drink, so I hear you. Perhaps calling it a Halloween potluck might set the stage for everyone to bring food. But last year they might have been confused since you provided the food the year before. Good-luck.
Use this website: http://www.perfectpotluck.com/
It’s a free tool to coordinate a meal for a group. Maybe you could provide hotdogs and brats and ask everyone else to bring the sides/deserts.
It’s not tacky at all.
Here’s how a girlfriend of mine just worded hers:
I wanted to let everyone know that the potluck will be Sunday October 13th at 4:30 p.m. at my home. Everyone please bring a dish to pass. We will be having brats, Italian sausage, etc… so anything to go along with that would be great. Once you know what you’re going to bring please let us know so that we don’t all bring baked beans!
The general rule is that one only throws the kind of party or event that one can afford to host. You can’t ask guests to contribute to your party to offset the cost. What you can do is scale back your plans to reduce costs.
If you were co-hosting with others as a group, then everyone that was in on it the planning would naturally contribute. But it seems clear from your details that this Halloween bash is absolutely your very own event without the input of other people.
Next time, before making any solid plans, ask several friends or family members to go into it with you. It means that it won’t be your party anymore and you’l have to give up some control over the details, but you’ll also have help with the costs.
The term “treat” was the mistake. That says “something sweet and in a small amount” to most people. If you wanted substantial food, use the term “potluck meal” and if you really want to, set up an online sign-up so you get entrees and salads and desserts and not just all desserts. Don’t use treat when you mean entrée. Potlucks are perfectly fine. But don’t specify stuff that is time-consuming to make. It’s your party, not theirs.
The party sounds great and very generous of you but please be cautious about criticizing those who brought those dry grocery store cookies. You say the party’s for “life-long close friends” and family and a few others including newer friends…I would cut some slack to all those groups for a lot of reasons, especially as you weren’t clear about what you wanted. You are focused on your party, but they don’t necessarily have time to whip up great, cooked food and yes, they will bring “last minute stuff they picked up on the way” if you just say “treats.” They may even do the same if you say “potluck.” Are you ready to just enjoy the event if they do that, and you get store-bought potato salad from someone?
If the cost of the entertainment etc. means you’re stressing about the food and whether others will bring what you expect them to – consider whether you might want to scale back. The kids will live if there’s no magician or if they do a craft but don’t decorate a cookie. Not dissing the nice ideas but only thinking that if you ask others to help with a party by bringing food, it’s good to be specific with requests – and then gracious about whatever they end up really bringing.
Yes you can ask to bring food by u r throwing the party and if u are doing it during lunch or dinner hour u should provide the meal whether u r spending a lot of money on the party or not. You chose the time place and hour they can bring snacks but not the meal. That’s why u got what u did that one year. I’m not tryin to be mean but don’t during lunch time do it 2-4 then, then that means eat before or after.
I agree with potluck suggestions if you want meal. However, with everyone’s dietary needs from allergies to lifestyle to sensory and on these days, it may just be best to avoid meal times. You can schedule for after lunch and just say fruit, cupcakes & water will be served or keep your bring a treat (but keep it nut-free if allergy issues). When I’ve done larger kid bday parties in the past, I’ve always tried to avoid meal times - it saved money and the kids were too busy to eat and I saw so much food go to waste at parties.
On the invite say it is a potluck. We are invited to potlucks all the time. The host usually provides the main dish–grilled burgers/brats/chicken breasts, sandwich tray, pulled pork/chicken, BBQ beef, etc. Guests bring the sides and desserts.
I agree that you can either cut back on the entertainment to help cover the cost of the food or plan the event to happened between meal times and just provide snack foods.
It is totally ok to ask people to contribute to a party you are throwing FOR EVERYONE. It’d be different if you were asking people to bring food for your kid’s birthday party or a baptism, etc.
I’d divide it up by last names, like A-E please bring a favorite salad dish; F-L bring x, y or z, etc.