Dear Chris,
I feel your pain. I would not like it either! Along with too casual dress, visible thongs, etc. As a former teacher, I found these things to be very unprofessional.
With that said, the relationship both you and your daughter have with your teacher this year will be so very, very important. I would strongly encourage you to look beyond it. If your child asks, as others have said, just explain that is a personal choice the teacher has made. I would strongly encourage you to do all that you can to build a strong relationship with the child's teacher, and complaining to the principal about the tatoo will probably get back to the teacher and will not get you off to a good start as far as building a strong relationship. I have no doubt that your child's teacher is very excited about the school year and eager to help the little ones in her charge have a wonderful year. Go out of your way to be kind and supportive to the teacher, look beyond the tatoo, and dif questions arise about it, have a discussion with your daughter about what your family chooses is not the same as what other families choose.
Times are changing. I don't have tattoos, but over 50% of the 20-something's that I know do have them. I would not worry about a teacher with the tattoo.
I too think you are totally over-reacting. So many people have tattoos now - I don't but see how I easily could have gotten one on a whim in my college days. I had a 20 something guy working for me in my call center and he had sleeves (tattoos up his whole arms) - when my Office Manager hired him I was out of town and she warned me so I wouldn't "freak out." First impressions are important and sometimes we do over-react. This young man was going to Seminary and wanting to be a preacher! He was an amazing individual and had I judged him by his outward appearance I would have missed out on hiring an incredible person with a huge heart.....
Erika
I agree that it is not a great role model but we have freedom of speach and what we do with our bodies. Maybe use it as a lesson to your child. That others may see it as not being a good role model. Both my children grew up and got tatoos. I hate them. I still think they are for Hell's Angels but that was my day. They just had on the tv all your movie celebrities having tattoos on the red carpet so they of course set a lot of the stage for our children. But then they are all divorced with different people over and over with tons of children by different people. Your spouse is yours one year and belongs to someone else a year later. So much pain in this world. Your daughter will see this over and over in her life so best to deal with it and let her know that based on what I believe it is not cool. I am also seeing immoral beliefs of men who just want sex at a later yrs of their lifes. Seems when marriages do not work out that no one wants a forever mate just a sex toy to throw away later. All these things to deal with because family values and human values have been beat down. Best to all who are trying to raise decent children and role model yourselves. Ginger W
I would quietly inquire about the teacher dress policy at the school. Having a tat does not make a person any less of a good role model. To me, a role model is someone who teaches good values and citizenship to our children regardless of what they look like. No, I do not have any tats or unusual piercings.
We are Christian family and believe that you should not "destory" God's temple such as being overweight (which I am currently and working on that issue myself) or getting tattoes. I explain this to my children and also explain the health risks involved in that area as some tat places are not that clean, etc. Not to mention, years later you may just regret that decision from your "youth".
My SIL and her husband both got tats this past year. He has a barb wire around his arm and she has a large flower vine across her lower back. This was the first direct line contact my children had to tats and we had a very in depth conversation about it. Looking at my SIL and her husband, you would never think that they would be ones to get such a thing. However, theirs can be hidden while at work..which is how it should be in a professional field.
Again, look past the tat on your child's teacher, focus on making sure a good education is being given, and just inquire about the dress code with the principal.
I agree with the previous posters who think a tattoo on a teacher is not a big deal. Part of the reason kids are in school is to be exposed to viewpoints and ideas other than what they see in their own homes. What a great opportunity to discuss how what is on the inside of a person is so much more important than what is on the outside! I can't know this for sure, of course, but maybe the fact that the teacher has a tattoo might indicate a tendency to be laid-back and accepting -- wonderful qualities in a teacher. One thing I do know for sure is that there are no accidents, and your daughter ended up in the class she did for a reason -- there's a lesson in here somewhere, whatever it is. In my experience, kids will react to unfamiliar things in direct proportion to how WE react and present it to them -- in other words, if you come across as negative, worried, and anxious about the tattoo, it will color how your daughter sees her teacher. It will probably also create a fascination about tattoos in your daughter, as she will pick up on your emotional charge about it. That may not manifest itself while she's so young, but, if she knows tattoos push your buttons, watch out for the teenage years! On the other hand, if you act like it is no big deal and treat it as a non-issue, it will be just another part of a big and interesting world full of people with different styles -- including people who have devoted their lives to teaching children.
Over-reacting to sum it up! I proudly sport 4, I got my 1st ink when I was 20, & the last one just 2 months ago at 34, & plan on more. The last one is a heart with my sons name in it; he picked out the design. His father & I both have them. This is the world we live in. You can not shelter your kids from this & make the judgement that the teacher will be less of a role model or be able to perform her job because she does have tattoos. Have you been watching the olympics with your children? We have with our 5 yr old & those athletes are very posistive role models how many of the mens swim team had the olympics rings tattooed on them, Misty May-Treanor the 2 time beach volleyball champion is 2, all were visisbale while they were doing their sport. So this makes their perserviance & dedication to what they do less because they have ink? Ask the teacher about it in a conference, let her know your concerns, so that IF your daughter asks about it, she will know where you come from. But really if we put everyones outside apperance on trail....who would be worth of being a role model for our children? Good Luck Mis
I can see how this took you by surprise. But would you give up a great teacher in the early part of her education because of some silly tattoo on her foot? Tattoos no longer mean "I do drugs" or "I ride motorcycles". It is not an anarchy symbol. I think if you start her first real year of school with a negative attitude, you are sabotaging what could be a wonderful experience. I would suggest getting to know the teacher more and see if that helps you jump this hurtle. Maybe volunteer in the class room one afternoon, spend extra time at back to school night, offer to help her with cafeteria duty. Maybe if you get to know her, like her, and see the relationship (educationally) that your daughter has with her, you won't mind so much.
Good luck!
Yes, you are overreacting. You are also being closeminded. I would hope you would open your mind (and heart) and allow this teacher to make an impression based on important information. I do worry that you will nit-pick her every mistake because you already knew she was going to be a bad person.
I wouldn't worry about a teacher with a tattoo, my greatest concern for my children in school is that they are getting a good education. Is she a bad teacher because of a tattoo, probably not, people come in all shapes, sizes, colors etc, and yes some people have tattoos. I really don't think its a big deal and if there is some problem with her, as a teacher, then by all means, have your child put into another classroom, but I, in my opinion think its terribly judgemental to want to remove your child from the classroom because the teacher has a tattoo, you wouldn't do it if she was a different race or religion would you? She was hired by the school district for her teaching skills, I'm sure they didn't check to see if she had a tattoo, because thats discrimination. What message are you sending to your child if you put her in another classroom because of a tattoo? That its ok to judge people, not a good one in my opinion.
I have to say I am shocked at the majority of the responses I have read here today. When a person chooses to be a teacher, especially of young children, they are choosing to be a role model. Despite what most of you have said in this column tatoos are still treated with a certain amount of "taboo" in the professional world.
Personaly, I do not feel this is really an issue about if a tatoo makes a person bad, it about presenting yourself in a professional light. Most dress codes require tatoos to be covered while at work. I know that our school district requires tatoos to be covered.
Requesting new teacher is going overboard, but requesting that the tatoo be covered while teaching is not asking too much.
You are absolutely overly concerned. Open your mind. Judge her on her teaching abilities. Not a Tatoo. I am not judging you either for judging her. Sometimes we over-analyze our parenting. This should not be an issue. I am sure she will turn out to be a great teacher.
In today's society a tatoo is acceptable. It is almost like saying, "my daughter's teacher is overweight and I don't want her to be around that type of person." There are great role models out there that choose to have tatoos. If you have watched the any of the Olympics there are lots of athletes tatooed. It would also be different if the tatoo was of a devil or skull and bones...its a flower. Just my 2 cents!
Hi there,
I think you are being really overconcerned. If your daughter brings this up to you, you can use it as an opportunity to explain whatever you want about tattooing, but this teacher has the right to have this tattoo, and there is no reason she should be made to cover it. Personally, I can tell you that I am a professor at UNT with a Ph.D. I have two tattoos that almost never show, but occasionally they do. I am no less of a role model to my children, my students, my colleagues, anyone I meet, etc, because I have permanent ink. I personally find fake nails and dyed hair revolting, and I don't like shorts, but that doesn't mean I make judgements about the people who get fake nails, dye their hair, and wear shorts. Some people don't like pierced ears, but does that mean those with pierced ears shouldn't be allowed to wear earrings in front of children? We live in a society that celebrates difference. Don't make something out of nothing. It is sure to backfire. If you make a big deal about this tattoo, you'll alienate your child from the school, get a bad rep which will reflect poorly on her, and probably make her WANT a tattoo. Just my two cents.
I would see this as a learning opportunity for how you want your daughter to judge - or not judge - people with tattoos. Do you want her to see tattoos as something taboo, something negative right off the bat? Or would you want her to view it as just another part of a person, a decoration like makeup or earrings, but permanent, and a personal decission. I try to approach most things like this as matter-of-factly as possible, reflecting no judgement on the person. This teacher will not be the only person your daughter sees in life with a tattoo, but she does provide a controlled situation for you to discuss tattoos before you are standing in line at the grocery store and your daughter sees the tattoo in front of her and loudly says "Mom, what is THAT?! Why does she have THAT?!" and you are forced to discuss it in public unprepared. If you truly do not have a problem with people with tattoos, take this opportunity to teach your child that. This could just be one more lesson this teacher has to share!
Chris,
You are a very young Mother and have not had the pleasure of having a teenager. If this were your daughter and had probably as a young adult or maybe younger gotten a tatoo without your permission but was of good character,would you want her to be judged with such a broad brush? I have 2 daughters both teachers with tatoos. Over my objections,they at 18 got them. One of them has spent $1500 trying to get it removed.
Child rearing is a race not a sprint. If you are going to freak out because the teacher has a tatoo,you won't make it.
Don't sweat the small stuff. If nobody dies,it is all small stuff.
Nancy Cox
Mom of 7
Grandmother of 10
Yes, you are being overly conservative.
I'd bet if you checked around a lot of the other parents have tattoos. Are you not going to let you daughter play with those kids because the parents have a tattoo? What about her doctor? He could easily be sporting one or more tattoos. A tattoo is a personal choice, they are not for everybody.
I'm a grandmother who got her first tattoo 6 years ago, I now have 7 and I'm making plans to add more.
OMG. I am a substitute teacher, mother and I sport a tattoo. My 13 yr old is in the process of designing a small piece of art for my ankle.
My current tattoo is on my lower back so it is not always visible but I have had students ask me about it. They ask if it hurt. YES it did, a LOT. I use that time to tell them it is permanent and they need to wait until they are older and know for certain that it is what they want IF they choose to get inked.
My mother is the only one that cringes over it. I have chosen to live a plane ticket away from her.
If you choose to make a big deal over it, your child could possibly be treated differently AND could possibly miss out on the best teacher.
I would think again before judging someone's character and morals just because of a tattoo.
She could be one of the best teachers that your district could have to offer. I think that I would be more worried about how good of a teacher she is then focusing on physical appearance. You are over reacting, and discrimitory based on appearance. The first African-American teachers must have faced this very reaction. If you had them switch your daughter's teacher over a tattoo, you are teaching your child that discrimination over appearance is okay. What would you tell your daughter if she decided that she did not want to be around another child because she percieved him or her as physically ugly? Give me a break-- there are way too many important things in life then to focus on a tattoo. Be a bigger person and you'll teach your child a bigger lesson.