My 15 year old ran away with her 18 year old boyfriend. It was reported to the police and we seem to have gotten nowhere with them. Every cop you talk to has a different answer. We were told we could press charges for statory rape or unconcensted sex with a minor by several people in law enforcement. Now we are being told that we can not because of some 3 year rule, but then again other said that does not matter because 15 year olds cannot consent. Then there is haboring a runaway. We were told by the police that they had enough evidence to have him arrested for harboring a runaway. My daughter has returned home, but the police said he could still be arrested and they were working on getting a warrant issued. This 18 year old crossed the state lines with her which we were told that is another charge we could get him with. Now the investigator says we cannot charge him with anything because she went willingly. My question is: what is wrong with this system? We are told we are responsible for our kids until the are 18 but every time we try to do something we hit another road block. So if an 18 year old leaves the state with your 15 year old after she was reported as a runaway, is there anything we can do, or do our children just get to do what ever they want. My next question is if we do not get any help from the police where do we go next. I am thankful my child is home safe but this boy in now hanging around her school, which he is already graduated. My fear is they will do this again if I do not put a stop to it. Can we put a restraining order on him. I desperately need some help.
i'd get the school involved. even with no restraining order, surely there is a no loitering rule on campus. talk to the principal and see what they can do.
Wow. I feel your pain. My daughter left home the day of her 17th birthday to move in with her 22year old secret boyfriend. When they are 17, you cannot call them a runaway, but you ARE responsible for any legal situations they get themselves into (vandalism...etc...) Our system is really goofy!!
Short of putting her in an all girl boarding school with tall fences and security guards...
I can tell you you can't fight the sexually active part if she already is, and you won't be able to withstand the age part either. Been there, done that!
I recommend getting to know this boy. (don't shoot me... read on)
He's probably not your favorite person (boy is that an understatement!!), but if you can keep them at YOUR home and let the relationship run its course (its more likely they'll breakup on their own if you're not fighting them)...you won't have to wonder where she is and if she's safe. Afterall, how many people are MARRIED to their boyfriend from 15??
AND, if you are "allowing" some contact, you can put some restraints on it. "We won't have you arrested... BUT you are not allowed to pick her up from school. You may come to our house. You will remain within our home, or at approved outings (movie, etc...). You WILL be tested for STD's".
If, however, he's a danger to her (drugs...etc.) then that's another story, but you have a better chance of knowing the specifics of his personality if you know him pretty well.
Otherwise, build a tower and lock her in...oh, no, you can't do that... our LAW would call that child abuse. hmmm... I know you are worried sick. If it helps, my daughter did come home...after 2 years of marriage. She and I have a pretty good relationship, and she's a good person despite her youthful foolishness.