My grand daughters' friend is always laughing at me behind my back. Disrespect.

Madeline S. asks from Boston, MA
8 answers

I was bullied as a child with people laughing at me. Now this child is always laughing behind my back and my grand child is laughing with her. I know the child and her mother have mental health issues. I have spoken to my stepdaughter about it and she dismissed it saying she is just "a little girl" but I don't like this and feel disrespected. Every time there is an event and I attend this happens. I have never liked this child, I feel she is fast and will lead my grand daughter into mischief. I don't know how to remedy this should I bring the child before her mother and tell her about this to correct it? I am the adult; but this is one thing I cannot tolerate the snickering behind my back ( I had a nervous breakdown as a child because of this). How can I handle this??

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So What Happened?

After getting two responses I have decided that it is more my childhood demons than anything else. Thank-you ladies I just needed to hear an honest opinion from someone else.

8 Answers

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HuggyMama

answers from Wood Dale on

I have worked in a school environment for years. I am always getting laughed at. Depending on the day or the situation I suppose I could feel hurt. I learned that usually when they are laughing at me it isn't about me but about them trying to impress someone else. I also found out that if you kind of laugh back with them, or at yourself that it gets dropped pretty quick. Or the final stern 'whatcha laughing at?' can do the trick, too. You are all grown up and they can't pick on you anymore. If you feel down or sad about it begin writing a diary about your feelings and perhaps let yourself forgive those from way back years ago. It's not worth it to discuss this with the parent and since you are an adult you can tell the child right out that it hurts people's feelings when they do that. But I will warn you I have done that and it doesn't really work. Working on your own reactions to everything in life is what will heal you.

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R K.

answers from Holden on

Margie G. nailed it. Maybe it is your sensitivity to being taunted. But if, if, it is inappropriate, please respond by bringing the child home. It's good for your feelings, good modeling, and good for the child. This is how we learn to behave appropriately. Hugs.

1 mom found this helpful

Wild Woman

answers from Reston on

Madeline

Welcome to mamapedia.

Now, please GO GET THERAPY!! YOU are allowing past demons to haunt you.

believe it or not? It's NOT ALWAYS about you!! Do you know she's laughing AT YOU?? Does she point to you and say something and start laughing? Or is it because she's a child and finds something funny?

Please. BREATHE. Seek mental help to help you let go of the past that haunts you and keeps you from living your life to its fullest potential. I'm NOT kidding. LET IT GO!! You need to get these ghosts out of your head!

2 moms found this helpful
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Margie G.

answers from Portland on

You bring up issues from childhood, and your own mental health crisis from being bullied - certainly not something to take lightly. Bullying is a terrible thing.

I can see how that would leave a person very sensitive going forward.

What I'm not following is - are the kids actually laughing at you and being disrespectful? Or are you being overly sensitive and imagining this? (taking things out of context?)

If they are laughing at you and being rude, then by all means - call them on it, have boundaries, set rules etc.

She doesn't come over to your house. Or next time they laugh at you, you say "Right then, Sheila, we'll be driving you home" and your granddaughter doesn't have a friend over again until she's respectful.

Don't overthink. Boundaries are how people treat you. You set them. That's how you handle things. You don't fix others.

5 moms found this helpful

New Granny G.

answers from West Boxford on

You are human. None of us like to be laughed at --no matter our age.

1 mom found this helpful
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3 Kids

answers from Fresno on

not sure the age, but don't let this child in your home if it makes you uncomfortable

3 moms found this helpful
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Jennifer T.

answers from Denton on

I don’t say this to be unkind, but I strongly feel you are the one with mental health issues. If you are grandma age and can’t tolerate a snickering child??!! It could be that you are paranoid in addition to your other issues. Please seek professional help.

7 moms found this helpful

Suz t.

answers from Sharpsburg on

i'm sorry, my dear, but it's time for you to deal with your childhood demons and take responsibility for your own psyche.

your stepdaughter is quite right. being unable to 'tolerate' the snickering and hinting at having a nervous breakdown because of it is way, way over the top for a mature adult.

you handle this by learning something about personal shielding and learning how to ignore the minor irritations of life. it honestly sounds as if you're way overdue for some good counseling to help you define your boundaries and triage the important focuses of your life.

khairete
suz

9 moms found this helpful
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