how can I cope with my sons fits?

mami galvan asks from Burlington, NC
14 answers

my son is 2 years old, been having alot of problems with fits. If we try to get him todo anything he frowns, and throws his fits. He's been teething and has molers coming in, so hes been extra cantankerous especially when things don't always go his way. I did take him to a sitter before, but he'd throw fits just to get them to pick him up. He does walk, but doesn't hardly talk and most times hes always so serious looking, and most times everything bothers him. We do spend time with him, and try todo what we can. But he's been getting worse now with throwing fits, and wanting to be picked up. If we refuse especially when out he carry's on and won't stop. I honestly cannot pick him up if he's doing this. Its getting to the point where I don't even wanna take him out, due to his fits. Doesn't matter if we ignore it, he will keep on most times. I am with him all the time, as hubby works 6 days a week..I seriously need a break, but if I have a sitter they aren.t following what we say. Then I'm left cleaning up the mess. I don't have no one but my hubby to help when he's off work. But just need to know how to deal with these fits, because people here where I live like to but into your business, and say pick him up, or poor thing. When he's throwing fits, and I believe that he's getting worse due to others doing this. I have no problem ignoring him. But how do I get him to stop this? Also when we are at home, he sometimes will have days where he's clingy, but grouchy with me. I try to spend time, but can't sometimes, because he will be ok then just turn and start trying to hang all over me and if i resist and tell him go play, or if I hug him he will continue to hang around and gets all upset. Hubby and I will take him to the park, and sometimes hes ok will go off and walk, other times he just hangs around and throws fits. So we don't pick him up or pay him much attention.. Is all this normal? Or what can we do? I many times have to just take care of his needs and give alittle attention, and step away cause if NOT he expect it all day. Then gets all moody!..HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP??? PLEASE DON"T JUDGE, JUST NEED ADVICE! He's been like this since he was small..

Please log in or sign up to respond

What can I do next?

  • Add your own comment
  • Ask your own question
  • Join the Mamapedia community
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

14 Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Julie g.

answers from Chicago on

How do you get him to stop? Stop ignoring him. He is doing it because you aren't responding to his frustration. Instead you are making it worse. Encourage and praise him walking like a big boy. When he is feeling small and wanting to be carried, carry. If you just can't, then say, oh mommy is so tired, could you hold my hand instead of me carrying you? How about if we hop or skip, or..... Meet his needs and the tantrums will stop. If the needs aren't appropriate, offer up something else.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Elena B.

answers from Aiea on

First of all, these aren't "fits". They're tantrums, or they're expressions of frustration. Your son is trying to communicate something to you.

Do you hug him and hold him when you're reading a story to him? Do you rub his back, or hold his hand?

How does he behave with the sitter? Maybe the sitter gives him love and attention, and then he's back with you and you withhold physical contact, and your son gets frustrated again.

If other people are telling you to pick your son up and hold him, listen to them. You won't spoil him by giving him the close contact that he's craving.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

mynewnickname

answers from Pittsburgh on

Did you get him evaluated by Early Intervention yet? Your momma instincts are clearly telling you that something isn't right here, and that his fits anbd moodiness are not within the range of typical for toddlers. If this is true, it might be a sign that he has something out of the ordinary going on. His lack of language (2 or 3 words is not anywhere close to the 50 words he should have at his age) is another red flag. Get the evaluation.

If it is something (if he qualifies for developmental or speech therapy), you can get him the help he needs. If it's not anything developmental, the therapist can give you advice on parenting him. One of mine qualified for speech services, and the therapist that came to our house would answer all my questions about anything child-related under the sun, not just speech. She was an amazing resource.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Doris Day ..

answers from Miami on

You have asked for help here, with lots of capital letters with the word drawn out. I would think that by that, you really want help. But you haven't listened to the ladies' advice in any of your other questions. Why is that?

Please go back and read everything that we have written in your other threads. It is so important that you figure out what parenting is supposed to be about. You don't seem to have the first clue about child development. You need to go to the library and check out some books! Take notes! Talk to your son's pediatrician!

Your son has a great deal of trouble communicating because he cannot talk to you yet. He desperately needs a speech/language evaluation. Your pediatrician can get you a list of people to choose from - ask to make sure which ones are covered by your insurance. After 24 months, there are speech milestones that he is supposed to be able to do, and if he can't, HE NEEDS HELP. You don't have any idea how to help him, so you have to get professionals involved.

If he could talk to you, he would not be nearly as frustrated. How do I know this? My own son had speech problems. I asked for an evaluation at his 2 year well check-up and he needed speech therapy. It was a godsend.

More than anything, you need to learn what to do to help your child. NOTHING you are doing is helping him.

5 moms found this helpful

Suz t.

answers from Sharpsburg on

i'm judging. i think you're full of [email protected]#%.

you're either a troll or you're a nightmare.

on the off chance that you're a real mother and this horribly cared for baby is yours, i hope you surrender him to CPS.

either way, you disgust me.
khairete
suz

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

♣Gidget♣

answers from Springfield on

Sounds like you need to give him more attention, not less. It doesn't seem like he is getting enough positive attention. He needs to feel loved. He needs to be hugged and held and shown affection.

It's completely normal for kids that age to want to be held and to want to be near Mom and Dad.

I understand ignoring tantrums, but you are ignoring your child when he wants to be near you, when he wants to be picked up, when he needs emotional support (when he's grouchy), when he needs to be loved. That's just plain ignoring your child's needs.

Show him love. She him affection. Also, keep in mind, sometimes kids are grouchy when they are thirsty or hungry. So it's a good idea to offer him a drink or a snack during those times.

But above all, you need to recognize that it's ok to show him love.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J B.

answers from Boston on

Please ask your pediatrician to connect you with a high-quality parenting class. You need help in real life.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Natalie K.

answers from Miami Beach on

Sounds like you have spoiled him and he is now manipulating you. He knows that all he has to do is throw a fit to get what he wants, and you do what he wants to keep him from crying and keep from having others criticize you. He is looking for attention and getting it. Sounds like you need some parenting classes or a child therapist to help you find ways to modify his behavior, including some sort of reward system when he does behave appropriately.

2 moms found this helpful

2kidmama

answers from Red River on

Maybe he's extra extra sensitive with sensory processing disorder? Try the opposite of what you have been doing. If you carry him (strap him to you with some ergo thing) much of the time does that help? Some kids get completely overwhelmed by sounds/noise, light, crowds, new situations. Do you think this is your son? A kid who has tantrums all the time might have extra needs. My son was like this. He needed to be held more. My daughter, however was "normal". We ignored her tantrum and she completely stopped having them bc she got no attention for it. This is not working for your son, obviously. When my son was 2 and had one of his tantrums I usually simply took him home. No more play time. Ignoring him didn't teach him anything...but that was bc he had sensory processing disorder. He would just have tantrums no matter what because he could not handle things. He would get overwhelmed. I'd take him home where he could get it all out, exhaust himself, and then we'd chill out. My advice to you is to keep using babysitters. Don't worry if they do things wrong. You need the break.

1 mom found this helpful

tadpole

answers from New York on

when my kid was 2 i got the book called "123 Magic" read it cover to cover. then skimmed back thru it to make sure i fully understood it. then began using the method from the book on my kids. now that 2 year old is 6 and even though it took months of being completely consistent with the magic method i started to see results
now that i have used the method with my kids for years i rarely even need to discipline them, i see them doing something i don't approve of and after i say "one" they stop and do something different. i am now training them that if i hold up one finger in a restaurant or store then need to behavior correct. and i have to say, its nice to see reactions of others when they see me say nothing to my kid just hold up a finger and bam behavior improvement

so head to the library or onto amazon and get your own copy of the book. read it and implement it. its worked wonders for many parents.

1 mom found this helpful

Diane B.

answers from Westborough on

Sorry, Mami. You’ve asked virtually the same question every time, and you even include some version of “HEEELLLPPPP” in each one. But you’re not interested in anything we say. You hire sitters (which is important) but you reject what they do – you want them to do what you say, but you’ve done nothing but tell us that your own methods don’t work. Others in your neighborhood want to help, but you see it as butting in! So, I’ve concluded that you just like to complain about your terrible situation and the son you have not learned to parent in 2 years. The problem isn’t your son, Mami – it’s you not knowing what you are doing and not caring enough to change. So, reluctantly, I’ve decided to no longer answer any of your questions. Perhaps you can find another site where people like to listen to a tale of woe from someone unwilling to change. Either take a parenting class, or hire a sitter and rig up a video camera so you can see other people manage your child (maybe not the first time, but after several visits). These are the only 2 options I see for your predicament. Otherwise, Mamapedia isn’t going to be a resource for you because we aren’t really here for the things you really want deep down.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Barb

answers from Dublin on

Seriously? You haven't listened to anything anyone has said in previous posts. Not sure why you keep coming back but I'm not wasting more time.

Updated

Seriously? You haven't listened to anything anyone has said in previous posts. Not sure why you keep coming back but I'm not wasting more time.

Updated

Seriously? You haven't listened to anything anyone has said in previous posts. Not sure why you keep coming back but I'm not wasting more time.

5 moms found this helpful

TF Plano/Allen

answers from Plano on

Since your history of questions deals with this child, I suggest some counseling and parenting courses.

You need a break as all moms do so a sitter or nanny could help you.

He didn't come out of the womb this way. You have to figure out the strategies that work best for you to be a successful parent and raise a successful child.

If you are in Burlington NC, you do have resources available. Use them.

1 mom found this helpful

B

answers from Chesapeake on

Every single post of yours is about some sort of difficulty with your 2 yr old.
Your profile picture makes you look like you're 14 and your writing style is juvenile.
Many people have offered advice in your prior posts - it seems like you haven't read any of it.
Since you seem to be incapable of parenting a 2 yr old - how about you hire a nanny for several years and have someone else take care of this stage until your child out grows it.
I'm sure troll children are more difficult than other kids but he'll be just fine.

4 moms found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us