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Q
Washington DC, VA
Wondering if anyone has any tips on how to get my 4 year old son to stop wetting the bed at night. He eats dinner at 6:30pm and we try to only give him about 4 ounces of milk or water with his meal. He is a drinker and not an eater so we have tried to cut back on what he drinks so that he will eat more. He is in the bed around 8:30pm and asleep by 9:00pm. When he takes his bath (7:30-8:00pm) he always uses the bathroom and if he asks for anything to drink we give him a sip (literally) of water. We have always had him in pull-ups at night and have recently took them away because I thought maybe he was getting used to peeing in them and was not paying attention to any cues that his body was telling him that he had to pee. Now I am washing bed sheets literally everyday. I just don't know whether I should put him back in pull-ups or continue with the no pull-ups and him waking in the middle of the night because he has wet his bed. Is there a better way to do this?
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Q
Houston, TX
Recently I purchased the movie "Nim's Island". It's a very cute movie. Basiclly a father/daughter duo on an island. My 4 year old loved the movie and now assimilates it with her and her father. Since seeing the movie, she asks to call and talk to her daddy. I am not averse to doing this however, the first night she requested, she left a message for him to call....no return call. The next night, she asked again. We left another message to which she then asked me to text him....so I did. After the text he called back was very dry and "programmed" if you will. Today, I was talking to my daughter on the phone from work and she asked me if she could talk to daddy tonight. I told her we would see if he would be available.
My ex has never called to speak to his daughter and generally will not let me call and speak to her. I do not mind facilitating this conversation as I have tried to maintain some type of communication between the two of them and the two of us since he left when she was 16 months old. His reason, up to this point, for not trying to call her is because he "has to go through me" to speak to her. He never calls when she is with him to let her talk to me....I know she misses me as my ex mother-in-law will make the phone call to let my daughter talk to me with my ex mother-in-law saying that my daughter misses me.
Bottom line: I'm looking for suggestions on how to explain to her that her daddy may not want to talk to her every night or at the very least what to say when/if he does not call back.
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Q
Detroit, MI
My son has been potty trained now for a year and a half. he's been great with waking up dry until now. For the last week, he has woken up wet every morning. We make him go pee before bed, and he has to pee soooo bad first thing in the morning, but still has an accident. we are now going to try to limit his fluid intake before bed, however this was never a problem before so I dont know why it is now. However we will do that.
I can only wonder if it's because of a few changes that have happened in his life. We are expecting another child in 2 weeks. He got a new 'big boy room". But thats about it. Any suggestions??
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Q
Raleigh, NC
I am at my wits end. I am the proud mother of a 4 1/2 year old, a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old...all boys. Ever since my oldest was a baby, he has been unable/unwilling to play by himself. He is very intelligent and I understand that he bores easily, so toys offer little/no stimulation. He is very into writing and drawing, but other than that he relies 100% on others to engage him and his mind. To go a step further, he seems to have a complete lack of imagination and even an unwillingness to imagine and entertain himself. He also refuses to be alone (except at night - he's fine in his room alone and is a great sleeper). So won't go outside to play or to his room to play 1) because he WONT play by himself and 2) wont BE by himself. With two other children, I cannot sit and entertain him all day and when I spend an hour of QT with him it only makes him more aggravated when it's time to stop. It's out of control and VERY annoying!! The only time he seems to be completely happy is when he's at school (so I have him going 5 mornings) or one-on-one with anyone, especially with his little brother. Any suggestions? I'm considering having him evaluated or talking to a professional because I really think he's missing out on a normal childhood experience...no pretend play? Never able to entertain oneself EVER??? This just is becoming a problem...
Any ideas? Suggestions? Advice? Comments?
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Q
Chicago, IL
I am a mother of 2 wonderful boys. A 7 year old and a 4 year old. My 4 year old will not do #2 on the toliet. He will go in his pants. I've been trying and trying. I want to put him in preschool but because he is not completely potty trained I can't. Can someone please help????
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Q
Salt Lake City, UT
MY 4 YR OLD DAUGHTER STILL SLEEPS WITH MOM. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING BUT SHE WAKES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND COMES IN TO BED WITH ME. THAT IN ITSELF IS FRUSTERATING, BUT MY OTHER CONCERN IS SHE THRASHES IN HER SLEEP. SHE CONSTANTLY KICKS HER LEGS UP AND DOWN. RESULTING IN MORE THAN ONE BLACK EYE. HAS ANYONE DELT WITH THAT?? ANY SUGGESTIONS??
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Q
Houston, TX
My son has really done well since my ex & I divorced. My ex has only picked him up 3 times for 2 hrs each time, which I have encouraged more because my son needs it. Ex shows up at my house when he feels like it just to hang out (Not to spend time with son that he claims but with me), which I am desperately trying to put an end to. Please don't mis-understand, I'm not trying to shut his father out of his life. I beleive that it is important that my son have a father in his life.
What I'm having a problem with is when he does appear, the ex promises my son he is going to do this or that or take him here or there but he never does. My son has a wonderful memory and doesn't forget these promises. The ex will leave and we won't see or hear from him for quite some time and I'm dealing with a very upset child. I have tried to talk to the ex and asked him not to do this unless he plans to follow thru but it has been no use. On top of it, my ex-MIL calls and does the same thing, which is infuriating. Again I've tried to talk to her and she has agreed to stop it but still hasn't. In regards to her calls, I've just had to stop letting my son talk to her on the phone when she calls.
I don't want to lie to my son and I know when these promises are made they will not follow thru. I have even started trying to fill the promises for them for my sons sake. Ex promises to take him to the park and doesn't so I take him instead or he promises to take him bowling and doesn't so I take him instead. I don't think this is the answer but just don't know what else to do.
What should I say to a 4 year old who adores his father and grandmother? What could I say to make a difference with Ex and ex-MIL to stop this? If anyone has any advice I would so appreciate it.
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Q
St. Cloud, MN
My 4 year old has started to be better with her behavior but has resorted to something else that really has me bothered. She has started pulling her hair out in big chunks. She has bald spots on her head from it. I had first discovered a bald spot and though it might have been due to her pulling hair ties out of her hair but a few days later I realized she was pulling her hair out at bed time and such. I found a wad of hair in her bed and asked her about it and she wouldn't answer. However when she talked to her dad on the phone this past sunday she told him that she was doing it and that it was because she liked making flowers out of her hair. She use to beg for the hair form hair brushes around the house to make lil birds nest out of it and I thought that was very cute and creative but now it has turned to this and I am very conserned and wonder if anyone else has had these problems and if so how to deal with it. I have told her that if she continues then I will have no choice but to cut her hair. I am not sure if that is the right approach to this matter or not. She has also become difficult to get to sleep at night. I have tried having her stay up til she is ready to go to bed and stories at night. I have never had a problem getting her to sleep til just recently. Not sure what to do. Any help with either of these two problems would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Q
Johnson City, TN
My husband has been on me for a long time about the boys sleeping in our bed. My husband works Nights from 6pm till 6am. I love it when the boys sleep with me when he is not home.The nights my husband is home the boys will start out in there bed then in the middle of the night they crawl into bed with me. My husband ask me why do I let them get in our bed. I tell him I love it, They are only little once. I did the same thing when I was little. I grew out of it and I feel that my boys will too. Then my husband says, Its only OKAY when he says it is, Its like I have to ask if my boys can sleep with me,(I don't like that). My question is, How do I get the boys to sleep all night in there bed? When they do crawl in bed with me, if I am in a good sleep I don't feel them get in bed with me. If I do feel them get into bed with me I will tell them to get in there bed or I will pick them up and take them there. I do understand that my husband wants the boys to grow up a little, But they are only little once and I don't baby them as much as my husband says I do. I guess I need to learn how to get them in there bed all night long, and I need to learn how to sleep with out them.. ( I sound like a big baby..LOL )
I would appreciate any advise...Thank you
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Q
Lewiston, NH
Our 4yr old son is refusing to poop on the toilet. He has done it in the past but never consitantly. We have tried everything from sitting him there until he gives it an honest try, which can take an hour with no results, to stickers for successful trips. He expresses a fear of pooping on the toilet but can not verbalize what the fear is. He still wears diapers for overnights and usually will poop in them before making any sound to wake us in the morning. I have tried to have him not wear pants or underwear to force him to use the toilet but that only prevented him from pooping at all that day, which made for more problems the next day. Any ideas or suggestions? We have mentioned it to the pediatrician but she was not concerned saying it happens sometimes. Our concern is that kindergarten starts in the fall and we do not want him to be "the kid who is pooping in his pants all the time". He is very sensitive and that type of teasing from friends will only discourage him more.
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Q
Chicago, IL
Here is my problem. I went through this with my 8yr old up until at least 1st grade, and know my 4yr old daughter is doing it. She is in preschool during the day, and today for instance she wet her pants 3 times, but does not tell anyone and could just walk around wet all day. I know have to have her back in pullups during school. Any suggestions?
Since she does not care if she is wet that is not a deterent. I know punishing her is not the right thing to do. I am just afraid she will get used to the pullups and just continue wetting them.
I am guessing all I can do is wait it out and hope she stops by herself.
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Q
Scranton, PA
My son seems to have finally gotten on a sort of sleep schedule. He naps on and off through the day and takes one long nap anytime between 1pm and 3pm. The only problem is he has been falling asleep at 7pm every night and waking around 4am thinking it's time to get up. Does anyone have any suggestions as to remedy this horrible pattern. I've tried to keep him awake later in the evening but it hasn't been working. I need help with this one...I need those extra four hours before I have to wake for work.
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Q
Milwaukee, WI
My 5 month old is still waking up after 4-5 hours at night. I know a lot of people start to let the baby "cry it out" at this age. Is there anything else I can do? When she wakes up she is very much awake and takes awhile to fall back asleep so I end up nursing her. When she falls back asleep she seems very uncomfortable. She is constantly moving, trying to get comfortable and finally wakes herself up. Has anyone else had this?
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
My 5 year old just got over the stomach flu and has been afraid to go potty every since because she's afraid of the diarrhea. However she no longer has diarrhea but has held off on going poop for several days now and I don't know if she's constipated yet or not. She keeps saying she has to go, then when she gets in the bathroom she either runs out without even trying or she will sit on the potty and claim she can't go, but she doesn't even try to push. I think she's just afraid it's going to hurt either way so she doesn't even try. We have tried everything, talking to her, reading "Everyone Poops", bribing her with reward, fake medicine (in case it was psychological), and then this morning I gave her a teaspoon of mineral oil in a glass of juice which she drank. Every 30 to 60 minutes, she's coming to me holding her bottom saying she has to go "right now" like it's on it's way out, yet when we get to the bathroom she freaks out. I can tell she is holding it and at this point I don't know if it will hurt her to go or not sine she's been holding it for days. I've explained how it has to come out and why, etc. She's hungry and keeps asking for food, but whenever she eats it prompts her to have to go and then she won't. On top of it all, she feels like a failure and is disappointed in herself that she is not brave even though her father and I have been loving and supportive about it. I did try to hold her down, keeping her from getting off the toilet (in a loving way and calming telling her she just has to do it, to just get it over with and then she will feel better and say yeah, I did it), but that didn't work either. I've seen posts about this issue before, but couldn't remember the solutions or how to search for the topic. Thanks for your help.
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Q
Houston, TX
I know that boys seem to have an issue when it comes to having "accidents" in bed at night which we have dealt with. However; my husband and I have now caught our son at least a hand full of times now sleep walking and when you try to stop him and talk to him about his actions (almost always urinating at that moment-last night in laundry room) he does not register you, it isn't until minutes later of trying to bring him out of this trance that he starts to answer but obviously doesn't realized what happened. My husband thinks we should put pull ups on him and lock the door (concerned he will walk outside sometime) I am hesitant due to him liking his door open and I don't want to discourage him from going to the restroom during the night because he is successfull at times. My husband says put the monitor in his room after I mentioned him freaking out when trying to open a locked door even though we would obviously warn him and talk to him about it.
We would like to know what others have done in these situation. At times we got upset and quickly realized what was really going on and just told him we love him and go to bed.
thank you for your time
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Q
Syracuse, NY
My sister is staying with me for awhile, she's been here for about two weeks. A few days after she got here her 5 year old daughter started peeing and pooping everywhere in my daughters room. Its not just accidents in bed or anything, she is pulling down her pants peeing on toys, pooping in drawers, on the floor in the closet EVERWHERE!! . using the room like a litter box. She’s been potty trained for almost three years now. I don’t understand why she is doing this. I'm at my whit’s end and done everything I can think of, my sister has too. Please can anyone give us any advice on how to stop her from doing this, or any ideas as to why she started. We‘ve asked her why and all she says is I don‘t know. I do know we need to stop her ASAP, I don't want my children starting to do things like this. . It took me a year and a half to train my daughter on the potty, if she sees her older cousin pooping and peeing everywhere she is going to think its ok for her to do it as well. Please please help!!
Added info,
My sister is just staying with me temporarily. She moved from WI to Newfoundland in Dec. They needed to work some of the paper work for her visa out so she came back to stay with me till May. My nieces’ step dad did stay there to finish getting things set up for them on his end. I'm sure it does have a lot to do with all of the life changing events, and I understand how hard changes like that can be. I am a soldiers wife after all lol. Even if it is acting out because she is not happy with the changes in her life, the behavior is not acceptable, its not ok. My sister and I have tried to talk to her about her feelings, take away privileges, punish her,we've tried to reward her when she didn't do it, we even tried having her talk with her dad on the web cam and mic and nothing seems to work.
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Q
Charlottesville, VA
My five year will not sleep in his room. What can I do to get him to sleep in his room with out someone in the room with him.
Thank you
C.N.
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Q
Stationed Overseas, AE
My son is 5 & has been extremely sensitive lately. He is my 1st child so not sure if this is something that usually happens around this age or if I should have his dad take him to see someone. They also think he has ADHD but I don't want to put him on any medicine because he is so little.
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Q
Tulsa, OK
Recently (like the past month) my 5 yr old daughter has started having seperation anxiety. Everytime I leave the house, I get a phone call from whoever is watching her telling me that she wanted to hear my voice. Once she gets on the phone, she starts crying and telling me that she "just wants me". This happens at home, at daycare, even at her grandparents homes. Then when I am at home she wants to be either on my lap or follows me everywhere I go. I can't even go to the bathroom with out her either wanting to come in with me or standing outside the door. And if that wasn't enough, she wants to sleep with me too. If I tell her no, she will go to sleep in her bed (after crying for a while) but then the next morning, I wake up and she is in bed with me.
I am at my wits end and I am losing sleep over this due to being kicked and layed on all night long. Is this normal? I do not remember my son doing this at all!! Any suggestions you ladies have would be GREATLY appreciated!
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Q
Billings, MT
Although on birth control, we have just found out I am 8 weeks pregnant and with TWINS. My 5 year old is already having a tough time adjusting to his new sister who was born last July. She has allergies and VERY drama queen, not sure how she will act with 2 more kids taking her attention. The tough part about all this is that my husband is an airline pilot and can be gone anywhere from 4-12 days at a time and home anywhere from 2-5 days. I feel like a single parent and think I might lose my mind. Are there suggestions for sibling rivialry and preparing them for two more??? The oldest took the sibling classes at Billings clinic to prepare for his sister. Suggestions for dealing with chilren so close in age???
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
Please I need help. My 5yr old son still wears diapers at night. I have tried teaching him to wake up and go to the toilet at night if he needs to, but that hasn't worked at all. I have even tried letting him sleep with his underwear, and he wakes up in the morning very wet. The other problem is that when he pis on himself, it doesn't bother him. We had a very hard time getting him potty trained. It is frustrating. I can't have him go spend the night anywhere because I am afraid he will have accidents at night. PLEASE HELP with any other suggestions.
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Q
Detroit, MI
My 6 month old just discovered he can scream at the top of his lungs. It's not a pain scream or a frustrated scream. Actually it's a very happy type scream. He does it all day long now and it litterally peirces my ear drum. I have been trying to ignore it hoping that by not making a big deal about it he will just stop doing it. I don't feel like he is doing it for attention because he does it when you play with him, when he's excited, while he's eating, taking a bath, etc.. it's an all day event and it is quite hard to deal with! I think he thinks he is talking. I know he is learning how to make new sounds and communicate, and I am hoping this is just a little phase and it will quit soon. Has anyone else experienced this with their child, is this normal, and when will it stop?? haha
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Q
San Francisco, CA
My daughter is in 1st grade. She would like school if I was there by her side. But since I am only in her classroom an hour a week, she constantly tries to stay home sick. I do work at the school 2 days a week. On those days she comes into my room during both school recesses to stay with me. We are together a lot of the day, everyday. She likes to be physically close, plus have all my attention. When I show her brother affection or am talking to him instead of her, she creates a crisis. We are very close, but she ignores her friends anytime I am near which is often. Like yesterdays submision, she doesn't like after school classes b/c she would rather be with me. That includes sports, art, dance...anything. She also acts out for me and is very difficult, but is not difficult at school or for my husband. I have a home based business, besides teaching 2 days. So, either my husband or I are usually home with her. Any advice would be great. ~ Thank you.
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Q
Waterloo, IA
My 6 year old daughter has been asked to be a flower girl at her cousins wedding. Do you have any advice on ideas to help her get excited and not nervous about walking down the aisle? She doesn't like dresses in the first place and I can hardly get a brush through her hair in the mornings before school! I try not to make a big deal out of the whole idea so that I don't make her extra nervous about it, but I also want to make sure that she knows what her role is and that it is a special honor to be asked to be a flower girl! Also, any ideas on keeping her 3 year old little sister busy and not jealous that she won't be a flower girl.
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Q
Detroit, MI
HI EVERYONE and Merry Christmas!!
I have a 6 year old son who doesn't have bowel movements in the toilet - he still wears pull-ups. We have tried to have him wear underwear, but he doesn't care if he has soiled pants. His pediatrician said she thinks he actually "forgot" HOW to go (because at one point when he was 3 he was toilet trained)..I just feel like I have failed in this area with him and we are not sure how to handle it. I realize also that it's a 'control' thing with kids the older they get. We have tried bribery, having him pick out his own 'cool' underwear, we just don't know what to do!! We also have to act like it's 'no big deal' (per his doctor) because that way he isn't doing it for attention. We are also supposed to make him clean himself, but as I am sure you are all aware any kid this age isn't the best at cleaning themselves!! Anyway, I know this might be a weird request, but if any of you have any suggestions I am desperate! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
I never made my child go to bed on his own, except for a time when he was around 2 years old. I then began massaging him to sleep and singing to him in his own bed, until now, when his pattern, as of the past year or two has been to be massaged to sleep (and/or sung to) and then to sleep in his bed for about four hours, only to come running into my bed until the a.m. I really would like to change this sleep pattern. I've heard advice that you can sit in a chair backwards and slowly each night move it out of his room. I have rewarded him in the past for sleeping in his own bed all night and that worked, even though he still wanted someone next to him to fall asleep. Now he is older and contradictory whenever I come up with new ideas to get him to sleep on his own. His father will also switch off and tell him soft stories in order to fall asleep. I used to go to my room on my own when I was 2 years old! All by myself! How do I get my son to do the same?
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Q
Dallas, TX
Hi Moms- my son has just turned 6 and my husband and I are concerned because he spends alot of time in his room playing by himself. This seems to have just started over the last few months and we are concerned. We ask him if anything is bothering him or if he wants us to come play with him and he welcomes us to come in but also seems perfectly content playing cars or rescue heroes on his own. He is doing well in school and has play dates and also plays well with his little sister we are just wondering is this normal or should we be more concerned. I am also pregnant and due to deliver next year - and am wondering could this be a response to his having a new sibling soon? Any insight appreciated.
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Q
Boston, MA
Our 6 year old son has developed a habit of waking up 2-3 times, several times each night. His reasons have varied from nightmares, bathroom break, we're warmer to a simple "I don't know" in response to our question of why he is out of bed. Last night between him and his younger brother (who he shares a room with), we were up at least 6 times. His biggest issue seems to be the unfair world of why my husband and I share a bed but he isn't allowed to. Sometimes I think that it is sweet he wants to be with us but it is impacting everyone's sleep. We've debated throwing a sleeping bag on the floor and offering that but he just wants in our bed.
Both boys are now exhausted and this can't continue. Last night our 4 year old just kept complaining that his brother is "exhausting me". We tried rewards, removing favorite toys, a marble system to reward each successful day but it hasn't help.
Any suggestions would be appreciated!
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Q
Orlando, FL
My daughter, who'll be 7 in October, still wears pullups at night. She sleeps so soundly that she doesn't wake up when she needs to go. We limit her water intake before bed. A few times she has wet so much that she changes to a dry pullup and takes out her sleeping bag to finish sleeping for the night.
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Q
Chicago, IL
My 6.5-year-old son has nighttime separation fears. He does not want to fall asleep, even with his 3 year old brother in the same bed, if my husband or I aren't nearby upstairs. He frequently comes to my room at night saying that he's scared and while he does truly have nightmares at times, this general "scared" complaint is happening more often. It seems he wakes and instead of turning over and falling back to sleep he's getting up for comfort. I love him and want him to feel that he can be comforted when he truly needs it, but I don't want him sleeping with us on a regular basis!
This morning he had an hour and a half long tantrum at 3 a.m. because he came to my room, woke me saying simply that he wanted to sleep in my bed and I refused. He made no mention of fear or a nightmare at all. My husband tried to walk him back to bed and told him he'd stay with him, but he wanted ME. I spent the night with him despite his continuing to tantrum that he wanted to sleep with me in MY bed, not his. I know that since we moved into our house a year ago from a much smaller apartment, he has struggled with feeling that he wants us physically closer in the house at night when we're upstairs. We tend to stay with him until he falls asleep or fold laundry right across the hall, but we just cannot do that every night. We leave hall lights on, there's a low-watt lamp that is on for a nightlight in the bedroom, a night light in the adjacent bathroom. We can hear the boys, and they can hear us even if we're downstairs as the stairs run up through the middle of the house. We have a very solid bedtime routine and there's been nothing unusual to disrupt it, but this problem seems to be building or at least, not showing any signs of going away! He has a dozen or so stuffed animals to cuddle, but that does not comfort him. His discomfort is very real and so discipline alone is not the answer. How can we reassure our son that he's safe and secure and make staying in his bed at night more appealing?! Thanks!
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Q
Jacksonville, FL
Hey ladies! We have been trying to get our lovable, snuggly, sweet 7 year old to stop sucking his thumb half heartedly for years now (which is why it hasn't worked) For 3 months now we have been "serious" since he has started 1st grade. he does not care if his friends tease him, he takes off the bandaids, tape, thumbguards, etc we put on his thumb. The bite bitter stuff only last about 30 minutes... I have been told by professionals that he would stop "when he was ready" and "when peer pressure gets to him" but that is not true. Unfortunately it is hampering his school performance. Whenever his thumb is on his mouth he "tunes out"... So, at school when he gets tired or bored, the thumb goes in and he starts day dreaming.... I would love help! We went to the orthodontist last week to get info on the device called a crib that would prevent him from sicking, but the ortho tried to talk us out of it. Does anyone have any experience with one of those? Does anyone have any other tricks I haven't tried?
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Q
Dallas, TX
My middle daughter has almost always wet the bed at night, we tried the desmopressin spray from 5 1/2- 6 but because of all the side effects we took her off of it. It worked about 85 % of the time!. Now she just turned 7, still having night accidents so she is in pull-ups(family decision- she is responsible for all clean ups) We tried getting her up during the night(she never would wake up) but she would still have accidents . My main problem with the wetting is her poor bottom is always broke out no matter what brand pullup or rash type med used. And now the past 4 weeks or so she has started having accidents at school....... 1 or 2 a week. SHe says so-n-so wont let me go or I raised my hand but they didn't call on me....ect. I always follow up and get nowhere. I have stressed that she just tell someone close by and get to the bathroom when she feels the need to go. and to SPEAK UP. I'd rather her have a color change for going to the bathroom than get sent home for having an accident. Her teacher on many occasions has told her to go due to squirming in her seat. I know it is embarassing for her I want to help her but I am so lost. We dont have a lot of money to spend taking her to dr's numerous times, or for prescriptions. (Oh also she had her tonsils and adnoids taken out) Nor do we feel the alarm is going to work due to how heavy she sleeps. (bed time is 830 - 9 and get up at 6)As far as we know she has no allergies or medical problems. The only other thing I notice is her eyes are dialated a lot of the time... have no clue what does this either but dont think it's a big deal. I'm sorry for the rambeling just trying not to leave anything out. Thank you all ahead of time for your help! I hope one day I can help you!
Thank you all for the responses! we are looking into a few different things and scheduling a dr appt. A bit more info about her. She Just turned 7 in March she is very petite I think barely 48" and 40 lbs a lot shorter and thinner than all of her classmates. Mainly in a size 5 but some 4 will still work. Eats decently dosen't care for sweets. Gets excellent grades (3rd in class) no behavior issues. Had adnoids and tonsills removed 2 summers ago. If there is anything else I should be thinking about please let me know. I am making a list to take to the dr. and thank you so very much for all the help!
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Q
Bloomington, IL
I have a 7 yr old daughter that has the attitude of a teenager!! She huffs and stomps when she doesn't get her way. Eyes roll when I say something to her she doesn't like (such as "clean your room, please"). I'm pretty strict, and don't let my kids get away with much---as a single mom, I can't!! But her attitude is insane--and is present regardless of what I try!! I am not ready for this!! I thought it came much later in life!! HELP!!
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Q
Atlanta, GA
I have an 8 month old girl who has never been a great napper. She typically takes about 2 45 minute naps and will not sleep longer than that, despite the fact that she wakes up fussy and yawning and is obviously still tired. We've tried letting her cry it out (doesn't work) and she goes to sleep on her own so she's not dependent on being rocked to sleep. I'm wondering if I should cut out her morning nap and just put her down for one nap during the middle of the day, and hopefully she will sleep longer and get into REM sleep. She typically sleeps 9-10 hours at nite. Any suggestions?
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Q
Washington DC, MD
I am trying to figure out what to do for my daughter's bday. I thought bowling, but 1 1/2 hour or maybe 2 hour is just not enough to me. The invite would go out to about 20 kids, so I anticipate maybe 12-15 would come. I would rather not do anything at home because it's just too much. Any ideas of fun stuff in the Maryland area? -- Upper Marlboro, Bowie, Waldorf....I'm open to where ever.
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Q
Chicago, IL
My 8 year old son's hair smells bad! Does anyone else have this problem? It will smell nice only right after he washes it but by the end of the day- it stinks! I have been having him wash his hair everyday but I just want to make sure it is "normal" . Is it maybe oily scalp at this early of an age? I don't know if that would make it smell bad or not, I don't have oily scalp but I think his dad does (we are divorced). I do not have this problem with my other two kids, they can even go a few days without washing. Any advice?
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Q
Toledo, OH
Hi Moms,
My son just turned 8 and is in second grade. He is athletic, social,& academically on track. He has tested gifted in the visual arts. Overall a well-rounded kid! He is a great big brother and good friend. We enjoy lots of family time during the week. He is the oldest of five children.
Yesterday he was "tackled" at school and the boy who did it tried to choke my son (this happened during recess.) Both boys were taken to the office, my son needed an ice pack & a nurses visit. The other boy was disciplined. All this was enough to hear in a school phone call. I wasn't upset, alittle concerned, but was anxious to speak with my son after school.
After trying the "let him come to me approach" for the entire evening, even with a little prodding and coaxing....he still never told me or my husband! Finally I had to say "hey, we got a call from the school today about recess, are you ok? is there anything we should talk about?" "How are you feeling about what happened?"
He said "oh, the school called? then he proceeded to give the basics (which I did already know) He said he ws fine and that was it. I did ask him why he didn't want to share this with us and he said he "forgot". Although he had talked about his day and about recess at dinner!
What am I doing wrong? We have always talked and said how important it is to communicate with each other. We express that we want to know any of the good, bad happy, silly, fun, sad....etc.. things about a day. If we role play he has all the right answers ...but in a real life situation he just "forgot".
I am not nearly as upset about the incident as I am hurt that my son didn't feel like he could talk to me or my husband.
Any advice is appreciated. Maybe I am overreacting? Love to get you take on it!
thanks
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Q
Dallas, TX
Original Request:
I do not know how to handle this. My mother in law is staying with us for the Summer. She is from Mexico City. My daughter, though very excited about her grandmother coming while we planned her visit and waited for her arrival, is now rejecting her grandmother. She will not spend time with her, pulls away during hugs, makes mean faces when she approaches her, will not speak to her or show any affection. I have tried talking to her, and reasoning with her and pointing out how hurt her grandmother is by this (poor woman cries over this)--all to no avail. My daughter said she was jealous of the time her father was spending with his mother, so my husband has really stepped up the amount of time and attention he shows our daughter, but she still acts the same toward her grandmother. My daugher has a very mild form of sensory processing disorder, but it has never been an issue as far as relationships, except she is very jealous whenever we show attention to other children or say anything complementary about other children. Anyone have any ideas?
Additon:
I guess I should expound a little on my request below, as I see the wonderful answers I am getting have brought up questions--my husband had stopped giving our daughter any attention at all once his mother arrived, not intentionally, but just so caught up in being able to see his mother after 3 years. Then, my mother in law speaks VERY LITTLE english. Also, my husband had told my daughter that when Grandma arrived, my daughter's cousin would be over everyday to spend the day, and that Grandma would be doing things with them and taking them places. Well, my sister in law decided that she would instead take her daughter to work with her and only drop by for a few hours once a week with my daughter's cousin. My husband lost his job shortly after his mother's arrival and so they are together in the house all day with my daughter, but really do not do much or go anywhere together. My mother in law has tried to get Taylor to read to her (she has reading assignments from school to complete before next school year), and they have tried cooking together, but none of this has changed anything. Whenever we have had a behavioral problem (and there have been VERY few)with my daughter in the past, "a word to the wise has been sufficient" and she would correct her behavior easily--there has been no real need for anything additional to correct the behavior. Additionally, my daugher is very kind and polite to people she really does not care for in general--this is why all this has taken me off guard...
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Q
College Station, TX
Please HELP!! So I FINALLY buckled down and decided to get my 9 1/2 month old son on a sleeping schedule that involved sleeping through the night without nursing and in his own crib. Surprisingly enough, he took to it VERY well. It has been about 2 weeks now and he sleeps from 9p to 9a with no problems.
The problem I AM having, is that, now, he wont take a nap during the DAY! He used to nap around 10-11a for 30 min to an hour and again around 2p for 1-3 hours. This was when he would go to sleep with my husband and I around 11p-midnight. The last couple of days he MIGHT take a cat nap (15-30 min) around 10-11a, but he fights his afternoon nap even though I know he's EXHAUSTED. I try to put him in his crib (just like I do at night) and on two different occassions he has cried for 2 hours!!!
The first time I put him down at 2p (when he usually naps) and he cried until 4p before I finally took him out. He then passed out INSTANTLY in my arms while nursing.
The second time I thought that he would need an earlier afternoon nap since he is going to sleep earlier, but when I saw him rubbing his eyes around noon, I put him down at 12:30 and he cried until 2:20 before falling asleep! 2p was his old nap time and I thought noon would be his new nap time.
The only time he'll sleep is if I'm running errands and he falls asleep in the car.
Why is he fighting his day naps?!?! I can't take it because when he doesnt sleep he is EXTREMELY clingy (he literally holds onto my leg and wont let go) and crabby. He wont play with his toys unless I lie on the floor. If I sit at the kitchen table (not even 2 ft from where I would lie on the floor) to work on the computer, he freaks out. It is VERY stressful when he is like this, since he is usually a very happy, quiet baby.
Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thanks!
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Q
Dallas, TX
Hey Mamas!!
I've been trying to figure out things that I can do with my 9 month old like activities instead of just throwing some toys on the floor and play some nursery rhymes on the stereo. What kind of activities did u guys do or are doing with ur 9 month old? We already read books ALOT and it comes in with the bedtime routine. I'd like to do things that will help her learn too. Any suggestions???
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Q
Phoenix, AZ
Ok so this may sound silly but, I am having a hard time getting my 9 month old to stay asleep all night. I have two boys and my first never did this so, my baby has been sleeping all night since he was two months old. He would go to be at 8 and get up at 6. Now for the last three nights he goes to bed at 8 and is up at 11-11:30 drinks milk, gets up at 3:30 is soaked and I have to change him, his clothes and the sheets, and is up again at 6:30 and stays up unitl 10. I have tried everything my mother has suggested and nothing is working. He is teathing right now and sleeps with a pacifier. I give him a bath at the same time everynight, get settled for bed no playing, rock him, give him milk and let him fall asleep. I have tried giving him rice cereal in his milk thinking he wasn't full enough, gave him gas drops, and tylenol. I am out of suggestions and would like to go back to sleeping all night myself. So any feed back would be great. Thanks
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Q
Kalamazoo, MI
For the last couple of weeks my son has been having a bowl movement after every feeding. Sometimes it is small and sometimes it is large, but it is afer EVERY feeding. Regardless of what he has formula, baby veggies and or fruit. I'm just wondering if this is normal. He has a doc appt in a couple of weeks, but what was wondering if I should take him in sooner.
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Q
Rochester, NY
My daughter turned 9 in December and I have a VERY hard time getting her to take care of herself. I'm at my wits end as to what to do. She was diagnosed with adhd almost a year ago. We have problems with her being very defiant and not listening and following rules, but one of my biggest concerns is that she does not take care of herself. She never wants to take a shower. If I let her...she will probably never take one. I have to force her to take one at least every other day. I'd prefer her to take one every day because I've noticed that she's starting to get the perspiration odor and I know she's going to be starting puberty soon. I started around her age, so I know it's just a matter of time. I've tried talking to her about it, but that doesn't get anywhere's.
When I force her to go in and take a shower, I will get the water started for her and she will just sit down on the toilet and cry until I notice that she's still not in the shower. Sometimes I actually have to start undressing her myself. Then when I get her to get into the shower, she just stands there. Half the time I end up having to wash her myself, which is a big inconvenience because I have 2 other kids to tend to. I often have to make her get back into the shower just to rinse her hair. Because she only stands there, the front part of her hair don't get rinsed. She gets mad at me when I have to do these things for her and I tell her if she'd do it herself, I wouldn't have to.
Has anyone else gone through this? I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want her to end up getting teased at school about her smelling bad or something, but I've thought about not making her take one and just let her go when she wants to. Maybe after she's had someone comment on the smell, maybe she'll start listening to me. But then I don't want to get accused of something from the school or cps or something. ugh!
Please...any help will be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
J.
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Q
Detroit, MI
I read about everyone asking for help with babies that do not sleep well....I hope you all get THAT resolved or you will be seeking answers later on like I am! A little history on her sleeping....NEVER a good sleeper, only took 1 hour naps as a baby(NOT fun!)and had trouble falling asleep as a baby. As a toddler moving into a big bed, we made the error in lying in bed with her and sneaking out when she fell asleep! We moved to a new houe 5 years ago when she was 4.5 yrs old. Once night falls she panics that she is never going to fall asleep. She never would ever say she was tired and wants to go to bed. When she does fall asleep she often wakes up and yells out to me in the front room, "Mom, are you there?" That his sometimes with a wimper or a cry! Also, in the middle of the night when she wakes she comes to our room(which is not right next to her, yet THAT is NOT the issue) and has me get up, come back to her room, tuck her in, maybe turn her jazz music back on (yes, she uses a sleep button with music) and make sure she has her beloved stuffed animal. She will then fall asleep. She is not tired in the AM. She does well in school. She hates ever sleeping at someones house....has only spent the night without us about 5 times! UGH! Her father and I are still married. I am getting SO frustrated!! I am thinking that we need to see a counselor. Suggestions, please!
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Q
Spokane, WA
My nine year old son (my first child) doesn't seem to talk to adults besides my husband and myself. We went to my Mom's (his Grandma's) for Thanksgiving dinner and he didn't really socialize with anyone. He was the only kid his age there. Another example of this behavior happened yesterday when we went to a store. The cashier asked him a question and he gave zero response. Could this have to do with self-confidence or that he just doesn't feel like talking and doesn't care if it is socially acceptable or not? Thanks for any suggestions you have. S.
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Q
Dallas, TX
Hello again, mamas!
I have a 4-year old (as of next week) daughter and 9-month old twin girls. The bigger twin (bigger by 4-5 lbs.) sleeps like a rock on a perfect 2-hours up, 2-hours down schedule. The smaller twin sleeps pretty well, so I should consider myself blessed that she sleeps through the night and goes down for naps easily. But, lately, she's been waking up at 6:15 a.m. and will not go back to sleep. I know her well enough to know that she shouldn't be getting up before 7 - 7:30 a.m. in order to be in good spirits and acting as if she got a good night sleep. The bad part of it is that we're feeding her when she wakes up because she's so small (13 lbs at 9 months), so I know that we're reinforcing her wake-up time, but I also don't want her up there screaming and waking up my other two children at 6:00 a.m. Does anyone know how to break a habit like this? I'm not against CIO if it needs to be done, I just don't know what else to do. She did this once before about 2 months ago and then broke the habit and started waking up at 7:30 a.m. again.
My 2nd question is: Since they wake up so early in the a.m., it sets the schedule for the rest of the day. They're waking up from their last nap by 3:00 p.m. and don't go to bed until 7:00 or 7:30. They can't make it for 4 hours, but they won't always go down for a cat nap in the evenings (around 5 ish). All I want to do is get them to wake up closer to 7 or 8 a.m., THAT would allow for them to be up from their last nap by 4 or so, and then bedtime is not so hard to reach. Anyone else who might have some insight would be greatly appreciated.
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Q
Minneapolis, MN
Hi Moms! I have 2 questions that may be related to one another:
1) Our almost 2 year old daughter has never been a fantastic sleeper, but for the past 6-9 months everything had been ok. She leard how to get out of her crib & pack-n-play so we had to move her to a toddler bed. For the past month or so, she refuses to go to bed without my husband or I in the room. If we leave the room, she's up and out of bed to join us downstairs. The only time she does fall asleep on her own is if she hasn't had a nap that day and is so exhausted, she falls right to sleep. I don't want her to become dependant on this...what should we do?
2) My second issue is nightmares/night terrors. I believe it's actually night terrors as she thrashes around she kicks and yells but I can't be sure. I am wondering if this is related to wanting us in her room? Maybe she is scared to fall asleep. The only reason I am skeptical is that she laughs when she gets out of bed when we leave the room. Any tips/remedies to help calm the night terrors?
Thanks!!!!
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Q
Greensboro, NC
Since we always seem to post questions regarding bad behavior or just general concerns, I thought this one would be fun...and a nice relief with some humorous stories to share....
I just saw a topic about children climbing out of cribs, waking up in the middle of the night, etc. It reminded me about how much my children have scared me to death in the middle of the night by 'sneaking' into my room....and standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE until I wake up! They don't say a word, well, every once in a while, maybe a little "Mommy?", but generally, they just walk to my bedroom, stand next to MY side of the bed (NEVER my husband's of course!!) and when I wake up I realize there are two eyeballs staring right back at me!
I know my sister has had her children do this to her in the middle of the night...anyways, I thought this would be a funny topic to bring up. Share your story if you have one!
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Q
Jacksonville, FL
I have an idea to make what I call an (OB Comfy)you know how a lot of our doctors have gone to lovely paper gowns and paper sheets for you exams? Well my idea is to make and sale a soft lite weight jacket and lap quilt with a matching bag.You would be able to take it with for your exam and it would be washable.
Does anyone think this would be something they would purchase?
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Q
San Francisco, CA
I was using Elancyl lotion to prevent stretch marks during pregnancy. It was sold in maternity stores with a small lime green bag for $32.50. Ladies who were pregnant 10 years ago, can you remember this product? Did any of you use it? I never checked the ingredients on the lotion, and I feel very guilty about it now. If somebody knows what was in it, I'll appreciate your response.
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Q
Grand Forks, MN
I was a CNA( nursing asst) in a nuresning home until the end of last sept. I would have people calling you on everyday off you have and want you to come in to work, if you say no they try laying a giult trip on you and if that doesn't work somewould get angrey. Not to metion the stress of it all, it is hard to take care of older people, I get hit, pounched , spit on and so on,I watch people die all the time. don't get my worng I liked my work I enjoyed helping people but I have kids and would like to spend time with them I don't want to work all the time and miss every thing, My daughter is 9 next month and I missed so much when she was really little, I dont' want to miss those things with my son and my daughter growing up she is almost a teenager I want to be around...but I also HAVE to work not so much for the money but I do need a break away from my family once in a while, after three years of not getting a raise, (they froze the them)and they took all the benifits away, I quit the nursing home and went to the grocery store and am now working at the deli part, I'm making $3 less a hour but the stress factor is so low I'm not tried any more when I get home, the headaches I have had from the min I would walk in to the nurseing home are gone. ok now the problem some people are basicly making me feel like i'm not a good person and i'm lazy and what not. one friend said and I quout" your getting lazy maybe you should get a real job again" I don't even know why she would think i'm getting lazy the only thing I can think of is that I only work now 1-2 days a week, my house is cleaner then before and I'm cooking better now too( not the easiest things I can think of all the time anymore). I'm not sure why this bothers me so much. I could use a little advise on how to handle this.
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Q
Louisville, KY
My husband and I have been married for 8 years. He has two boys from a previous girlfriend that we have always had custody of. It was a big ordeal in the begining and for about 3 years she gave us trouble. But she has had no contact for the last 5 years and everything is great. The issue is she has a daughter by another man and now that daughter wants to live with us. My husband is all for it but, the boys and I have our concerns. She is a bit of a handfull. We have stayed envolved with her because she is the sister of my to boys. But she has never lived with us other than summer and winter school vacations. And each time she stays there are always problems. I don't want to hurt her or my husband but I feel it won't be a good enviroment for me and the two boys. What should I do? She currently lives with her Great grandmother and she wants her out. now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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Q
Spartanburg, SC
My daughter will be 6 in January. She is constantly having accidents (wetting pants). I know that kids don't want to stop what they are doing to go to the bathroom, but it's getting ridiculous. I'm at a loss as to how to correct this situation. Does anyone have any suggestions/insight for me? Thanks!
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Q
Sacramento, CA
I have a daughter who will be 3 years old in a few weeks. We started potty training her a year ago and has done fairy well with it. She has had her fair share of accidents but, for the most part, has done great. The first few months were hard and her accidents seemed to happen a lot. As the months went by, she got better and better to where she maybe had one accident a month. Recently, she has been peeing in her pants. Sometimes it's one accident a day and other times it's 5. I don't know if she gets to busy and "forgets" to go or if she is doing it for attention. Any advice or tips? Is this normal?
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Q
New York, NJ
I am wondering if anyone has some suggestions for good indoor activities for my 2-yr-old daughter and I when it is too hot to go out. She is very active and loves to play outside, so we try to go out at least for a little while almost daily. Lately I have been feeling like I should try to do some creative activities with her at the house, rather than constantly going to the playground (which honestly is easier!). I was thinking of painting, clay, etc. Any suggestions for what you do with your LO's? Thanks!
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Q
Spokane, WA
I am engaged to be married in July and my fiancee wants to adopt my son. My sons real father is nowhere to be found. Does anybody know how long the adoption process take do we have to start before we get married or wait till we are????? What about prenuptial agreements???
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Q
Austin, TX
I need some words to gracefully tell my 44 yr. old step-son that he needs to move out. He and his 15 yr. old son moved in with me and my 65 yr. old husband Dec. 1, 2007. Step-son has not worked and plays on the computer from 5 AM till he goes to bed at night. He has not contributed financially in any way, while we are going deeper in debt keeping them. We have told him he needs to contribute but nothing. It is extremely stressful here.
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Q
Lakeland, FL
hi i have 2 kids a 13 yr. old and a 3yr. old and both of my kids are really attached to my mother, especially my 3 yr.old son, well he always wants to be at my mom's house, sometimes my mom needs a break and i completely understand it with my boy because he is very active, so she will tell him lies that she will come back for him, things like that and i don't think thats right, she says he will not remember because he is still young, but he does remember because every time he goes to take a nap he's begging her not to leave and just is scared to go to sleep, because he knows every time he wakes up she's gone, and he cries and cries and i have to try and calm him down and explain to him that she just had to go home, so every time he gets around her he's always afraid that she's going to leave, she even does it to me, tells me she is going to pick him up and doesn't, what should i do my husband and i are tried and upset about this.
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Q
Chicago, IL
When my 15 month old son wakes up in the morning, he soaks thru his diaper. Almost every morning I have to change his sheets and his pj's are wet too. I give him a sippy cup of milk before bed, this has been part of his bedtime routine, about 5oz. He goes to sleep between 6:30 & 7:00pm and he wakes up around 6:00am. Does anyone have any advice? Should I use some kind of night diapers? Or do I change his diaper during the night?
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Q
Seattle, WA
I am open to any advice or ideas on how to handle my 10 yr old daughter that has no respect for her father, other family members, and myself. She responds to questions with quick smarty pant answers, and her tone of voice is nothing short of rude as well. She was diagnosed with ADD, but I don't feel that should be used as an excuse to be rude. She never wants to help around the house, and bribes never help. I've taken EVERYTHING she owns away and she doesn't care. We've tried grounding, time out, taking away play dates and parties. Nothing helps. She is just plain disrespectful. She does go to a counselor, but that doesn't help with the way she talks to us. I'm not sure what else to do! I can't imagine how she'll be when she becomes a teenager if this continues. I was recently diagnosed with a liver disease and the stress from all of this isn't helping. I literally couldn't wait to go to work today, so I could get away from her. I feel horrible for saying that, but it's true. HELP! What do you do with a child who doesn't care about anything!
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Q
Salt Lake City, UT
My husband and I are going to be having our fourth child soon. In debating what to do about birth control, (whether to do something permanant) we decided that we are not done. This is exciting and scary to me. I absolutely love my children, but I feel like my life is chaotic all the time. I grew up in a large family with no organization whatsoever. My mom just kinda tuned everything out, I know that I do this now. I don't want to deal with the children making a horrible mess of whatever so I ignore it than I'm totally frusterated later, when I'm either cleaning up or making them clean it up. I know I need to change this, I just don't really know how.
I've wanted to try a schedule, but I've never lived on a schedule before and I just don't know if I can stick to it. I also need to get my house organized, I've tried to do it, but it's so overwhelming. I know if I can do it, it will make my life so much easier. I've tried flylady and I hated it, I felt like I couldn't keep up, although I do shine my sink, which I love. The problem is I'll have a shiney sink and nothing else in my house will be clean;)
So, I'm seeking advice from moms of large families. How do you do it?
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Q
Boston, MA
I'm looking to hear about what techniques have worked for others when it comes to cutting hair. I have an 18-month-old boy whose hair I've trimmed many times, but I'm ready to move on from the simple "page boy" look to more shaping. Is an electric trimmer useful, and if so, what should I know about what kind to get and technique to use? My scissor skills (and his holding-still skills) are quite rudimentary, but if scissors are recommended over shavers, is there a trick to getting it all decent-looking?
I'll probably take him for a pro cut every now and then, but I'd like to be able to do it mostly at home, so thanks for any advice you have!
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Q
Orlando, FL
I am working on a project for my daughter; she will be a sophmore this year so I know I have plenty of time but I wanted to get started early. When the time actually comes for her to graduate I know I will be a mess; an emotional mess so I want to have this ready. I have been thinking about what I wish someone would have told me when I was in High School about to graduate but also while going through high school. Things like don't take boys to seriously, you don't have to have your whole life planned out now. So I know there are lots of moms out there with advice they would like to give to their daughters or advice they wish someone would have told them that would have helped them through those tough high school years and also upon graduation and early adult years. I would appreciate any info that you have to help me along with this project.
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Q
Salt Lake City, UT
First, a little background: I have worked full-time while my husband finished school; he was in a rigorous program that didn't allow him to work while he was in school. We have 2 kids, b/g twins age 16 months that my mom has been babysitting while I work and my husband is in school. My husband has now graduated and has a good job that will allow me to stay home with the kids now. On weekends when I am home with the kids, I sometimes feel at my wits' end because they want me on the floor playing with them all the time, and I have things to do like laundry, clean the kitchen, vacuum, all that good stuff. We live with my parents right now, but are getting ready to move out to our own place at the same time I am leaving my job. Any advice or suggestions on how to organize my time with the kids would be great. I don't want a lot of strict scheduling for them, they are still way young for that, but some structure is necessary. I would like to know how to help my kids learn that I can't always play on the floor with them, too. I already plan on using naptime (1 1/2 - 2 hours a day) for my time, when I don't clean or anything, just read or do a craft or whatever. Let me know what works for you!
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Q
Salt Lake City, UT
I have 2 children, a 15 year old daughter and a 7 year son. Both my children are from different fathers. My daughter started receiving social security benefits apx. 2 years ago because her father had to stop working for health issues. (He passed away on Nov. 4).
Here's my problem: my daughter receives social security benefits on her father's behalf and my son does not receive the same benfits being that he has a different father. My daughter has everything, plus more. When she needs clothes, shoes, etc. she is able to get them right away. My son, on the other hand, has very, very little. He is aware of why his sister gets money and he doesn't. Yet, it still seems so unfair.
By social security laws, I am not entitled to all of her money and her money has to go to her. I do take her portion of the bills, as social security has instructed me to do. The rest of the monthly benefits need to go to her. I am on a very limited income. If either my daughter or myself have too much money saved, social security will drop our benefits.
I am not sure what to do to help my son feel better with this. I am not wealthy by any means so I can't give him everything is sister gets. IHelp! I am in need of some suggestions.
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Q
San Francisco, CA
I've had a wonderful, life-changing 4 months off with my son, but the time's finally come... I have to return to work in 2 weeks. Financially, working PT or being a SAHM is not an option, so I know I need some advice. So, here's the situation - We were fortunate enough to find a small family daycare close to home (a few houses away) with a wonderful provider. I also got a new job which is closer to home (10 minute commute, rather than 1 hour), and "better" hours (a standard 40 hours rather than the 50-60 I was working). My questions for you, ladies, are:
1) What is your morning routine like to get your little one off to daycare? How much time do you give yourself to get yourselves out of the house? I have to be at work at 8:00. My son normally wakes up at 7am and I'd like to leave the house at around 7:30 (to give myself a few extra minutes in case of traffic, need for coffee, finding it hard to leave him, etc.). Should I wake him up earlier? Should I change him from his footed PJs?
2) How/when did it get easier for your transition back to work? I'm imagining it will be h*** o* me (my son, too, but it'll probably mostly me) to leave him at daycare on the first day...week...month :) Luckily, my husband is taking 2 weeks off when I start working again, so that we can start our son at half a day at daycare to get ourselves acclimated to this new situation.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!!!
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Q
New York, NY
I am just seeking advie on finding balance between 7 children (yes 7 children) working and running an in home business. I need easy ideas for dinner....and I need someone to tell me how to budget my time better.
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Q
Portland, OR
I am a 28 year old pregnant mama. i'm 5 months along. i've been with my wonderful partner for 3 1/2 years now. this baby came as a surprise, and we are happier than ever.
my partner's daughter, who will be 6 yrs old around my due date, moved to california last summer with her mom. she announced to him yesterday that she wants to live with us full time and only see her mom in the summers. he wants her to move here for school in fall of 07, when she will start 1st grade. My partner has always asserted to me that this house is ALWAYS his daughters house and she is welcome here at any time. while i love her, i have to admit she is a very challenging child. doesnt know how to play alone, gets jealous of when me and her dad talk about anything without her, trys to get in between us, is messy, whiny, and disrespectful. she can also be very sweet, but it usually is when you give her full undivided attention. i mention all of this with assertion because i have been a nanny/babysitter for 18 years, and i have never met a child as challenging as her.
while i do love his daughter, and did expect that she would live with us someday (especially since we are now creating a family with another baby).
i cannot tell how it will be as a new mom, but my baby will be only 6 months old when she moves here full-time. i feel like i'll be adjusting to the stresses of motherhood, and then have to take on another, very challenging child. i believe she has a good heart and can learn discipline and respect and independence, but i dont feel like being put in that position so soon after my baby is born. i feel it would be better to do that when baby is 1 or 2, and we have a family routine.
its important to mention that my partner works full time downtown, and although he tells me he will take responsibility for her when she moves here, he is often tired after work, and extremely exhausted when she has come to visit. so i know i will be having to assert a motherly role and do a lot of the work, and i just see it as a huge task that i feel unprepared for.
on the other hand, it seems terrible of me to say all this without mentioning that i love my partner so much, and while he does completely respect my opinions, he'd be the most happy with his daughter here. he wishes that i loved her as much as he does, and i feel terrible that i dont. (truth is, i see a lot of her mom in her, and i think her mom is unstable and not a good mom).
this is stressing me out so much that i cant sleep at night. the first year, which i was looking forward to being alone with my baby will be invaded will challenges abound.
ADVICE NEEDED: should i accept her next fall, even though it is making me depressed, or do i have the right to tell my partner that i dont want her here full time until 2008? i want to do the right thing, and i want us both to be happy.
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Q
Denver, CO
I am little freaked because my daughter out of the blue started talking about death. We were in the living room last night and she was talking about her imaginary friends (which I know is normal, but also freaks me out!). She requested that my husband move her play table into the living room. Apparently he moved it onto where her "friend" was supposedly sitting. She started saying that her friend had died because daddy put the table on her. She kept going on and on about it. I know kids pick up things...however we don't talk about that and she has limited television. She hasn't been in daycare for awhile either. I guess I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of talk at such an early age. Is this normal? A friend said to me that she probably didn't know what it meant...but to me, it sounded as if she did!
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Q
Dallas, TX
We are trying to figure out a schedule that would be fair to both me and my husband regarding "baby duty". I feel that while he is at work, I am also "at work", and when he is home (after work and weekends) that time should be split equally regarding taking care of our daughter. He is happy and willing to do things, but it seems that I have to ask for help a lot of the time. So, we were thinking about coming up with some sort of schedule...for example, I take her on Saturday, he gets her Sunday. Have any of you come up with something like this?
Also, on weekdays, I am constantly looking at the clock at the end of the day ready for him to walk in the door and take over. So, when he has to travel it is really a beating (emotionally and physically). I know that he misses doing things that he did before kids (poker game, working out, volleyball team, etc.) How do you juggle those things? Does we wait to pick up those activities again until she is older, or does one parent just have to suck it up so that the other one can enjoy some free time? Or, would it be better to just plan activities that we all can do together?
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Q
Indianapolis, IN
I watch three different families children at my home. One family has two boys and they are going through a divorce presently. The parents have moved to seperate residences and the kids don't understand why. Lately, the youngest who turned three in December, has had more emotional breakdowns. He yells at the other kids, throws toys, talks back and refuses to clean up his own messes. I understand that this is probably his way of reacting to his home life but I am trying to figure out how to handle these moments. I need all of the kids I watch to understand the rules of the house and follow them ( there really aren't that many; pick up after themselves, put away toys, no yelling and hitting, and use kind words) I have told him that that kind of behavior doesn't occur at my house. When I talk to his mom it goes in one ear and out the other b/c she is at a loss right now of what to do herself. The brother just reverts within himself and becomes sad. I try to distract them by having different activites to do but it doesn't seem to work well. Today at Mcdonalds they wanted to leave quite quickly and go home. We got back and they wanted to go HOME HOME.
Any advice would be helpful in how to approach the temper tantrums as well as helpping them to adjust to their new lives. I have tried ignoring and just moving the temper tantrum to another room away from the other children. Thanks.
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Q
New York, NJ
It's almost impossible to cut/file our 14-month old son's nails - and they seem to need it daily... lots of sharp edges and points no matter how much we keep on top of it. Any suggestions on how to distract him while we make the daily attempt? (It seems to be a more than two-person job!)
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Q
Nashville, TN
Hi everyone. My daughter just found out that a classmate lost her father yesterday. She's asked me what we can do for her little friend (10 year old girl/fourth grade). I told my daughter to let me think on it, but ~ honestly ~ I haven't a clue on what would be appropriate. Any advice appreciated. I don't want us to be intrusive, but I definitely want this sweet child to know that people are thinking of her ... Thanks!
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Q
Dallas, TX
I'll start by saying this is confusing but I need some advice and I'll try to explain it the best I can.
My Aunt was left to raise her grandchild seven year ago (I'll call her Steph). Steph's parents died when she was 13. Her father and mother had both been in and out of her life for many different reasons and so she was shuffled from here and there. Steph had never finished high school and ended up getting pregnant when she was 17. She had all great intentions of being a better parent then her mom.
About a year ago I had recieved a call that Steph had her daughter removed from the house and wondering if we were able to take care of her. At that time we were not able to because we have lived in a two bedroom apartment and my husband and I had just moved to Texas and were just trying to get settled.
So now two months ago I got a call that Steph still didn't have her daughter back and that she was not making any process of getting her back and asked if we would contact the state and see if we could foster her. My husband and I prayed about this and wanted to make sure that this would be a good thing for the family. So on my last trip home to PA I met with Steph and she agreed about all this vary easily and the baby's daddy said no problem. They didn't really seem to care. It was almost like out of site out of mind. They had her young and now there 21 and they want to play.
So now we are in the process of gaining custody of this child. We were told that it is a very long process due to the fact that we live out of state. The social worker on the case has already made it clear that the family that the child lives with is wanting to adopt her. I know they have a lot of cases but she really was caught off gaurd and she is seeiming to favor the family that the child is living with now. The case worker seemed to have no hope that the child is going back with Steph.
So I guess my question is do I persue this. I cant imagine being Steph and when they take her rights away she will never see her again. I feel like I'm being a little selfish about wanting to keep her in the family and take her away from the family that she's been with but at the same point she's our family and we are willing to take her.
Any advice or questions that I should ask myself would be great. Or someone who has gone through something simular I would love to here anything.
Thanks and I'm sorry for the long and confusing situation.
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Q
San Diego, CA
Since my daughter was born ,we have worked to get her on a schedule of sorts- general times that she naps and goes to bed at night. Following advice from several people including my pediatrician, I have started to put her into bed when she is still awake, but tired (after a "routine" of bottle and a book). Unfortunately, once I put her in the crib,she screams before falling asleep. It lasts for 5-15 minutes. This is greatly distressing to me, but I feel that she needs to learn some self-soothing skills. Just want advice from someone with an older child and similar views - how long does this last? At some point will she go to bed without crying?
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
I weaned my 2 yr old a week 10 days ago. For the past 3 months he has only nursed to sleep at nap and to bed. If I try and lay down with him gets very upset (throws up), wants my milk and wont go to sleep. The only other way he will fall asleep is if I time it perfectly and have an extra 45 minutes to drive him around or put him in the stroller for a walk right before sleep time. How can I get him to fall asleep by just laying down with me and eventually him just lying down by himself. We have another baby coming in July and I want to have this resolved by then.
Also, I want to add that I wont try the Ferber/Cry It Out Method again.
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Q
Kalamazoo, MI
Just wondering what advice you would give me from going from one child to two? Anything I should do to prepare my son, who is two for having a sister? Anything I should do prior her arrival? I hear it's hard with two so any advice would be great.
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Q
Chicago, IL
My 16 month old son completely busted me spacing out today. We were outside coloring when an ambulance drove by several blocks away. I was looking down at the ground picking up crayons at the time but my mind was on a work issue, so I didn't even notice that he started imitating the sound of the siren. When I failed to respond with my usual, "yes, it's an ambulance" he came over and got down on his knees so that he could make direct eye contact with me and get my attention. I hadn't even realized I wasn't paying attention to him. Any advice as to how I can clear my mind of work and other issues when I am with my kids so we all get the most out of our time together? With another one due at any time I'm afraid it's only going to get worse, especially after I return from maternity leave and my attention is divided in so many directions.
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Q
Spartanburg, SC
Me & my husband just got married almost two months ago.We are ready to start a family asap.I am 34 & he is 39.Neither of us has any kids & I want nothing more than to be a mommy,I'm scared that I may not be able to become pregnant.We have been trying on our own all this year with no sucess.I'm sure it's time to see the doctor.But what if he tells me I can't get pregnant?It would devastate me.Any advice on how to deal with my situation?
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Q
Washington DC, DC
Hi everyone,
I need some advice on how to deal with an ungrateful relative. Four months ago my cousins children were removed from her home because she was neglecting them due to drug use. She has a total of nine kids and I went to parenting classes and foster licensing class to get her children out of foster care I successfully finished all classes and on June 1, 2008 her five boys were placed in my care. It has been a real struggle but we are managing. These kids are so ruined by her drug use and they all have some type of developmental problem. They had absolutely no home training they didn't know how to bath themselves or anything its been really ruff. Their ages are 9, 8, 6, 5, & 3 can you imagine what I go through in a day? I have a 7 year old and 1 year old of my own. I have heard from other family members mean things she is saying about me and it angers me because my life has completely turned upside down since her children have come to live with me. I work full time and I'm also a single parent. My cousin is talking badly about me to family members that had no interest in helping get the kids from foster care and they are entertaining her conversations. I spoke to the children Social Worker about her behavoir and was thinking of just giving the children back to the system but when I sat with the kids and talked about them returning into foster care they begged me not to send them back, and asked me what did they do wrong? They have grown so much since they have been with me, they are doing really well in school and I also have them in counceling. They've been through a lot! How do I go on? I have opted to have their mom not visit my home anymore and requested that her visits take place at the Child and Family Service Center. I regret stepping up to help, but I did not want them to suffer for her behavoir and problems please give me any advice, and or words of encouragement I need it.
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Q
Rockford, IL
I recently found out that I am pregnant with our second baby that is due in July 2008.
I have a 19 1/2 month old son that is a great joy to me. Are there any books out there for him (and me) to help explain the baby that is coming to him? We also got him a toddler bed and are going to transition him into it very soon. Any ideas on that would be appreciated also. Let me just say that every transition with him has been cold turkey and has worked well. Day care teachers helped a lot with that, too.
Thanks for any advice,
T.
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Q
Dallas, TX
My little guy is 17 months old. He moved up to a new class at his daycare almost 2 months ago. He is one of the youngest ones in his class of 8. He went from taking 2 1/1/2 hr to 2 hr naps to only taking 1 nap in the afternoon(which I know at this age should be fine. Today when I picked him up I was questioned by the teacher how I handle naps on the weekends. I always try to stick to the same schedule that he has at school at home(for some reason I don't think that his teacher believes me on this.) She went on to tell me that he still has a melt down every day about 9:00 and it seems like he wants to take a nap. We really do not go through these "melt downs" on the weekend that she is talking about. I am thinking that she just needs to give him a little extra love at that time and help him get through that time of the day. I really need to know if this seems that abnormal for a child to have melt downs at certain times of the day and if anyone has any suggestions on how to help my little sweet wonderful guy through this.
Any Advice would be greatly appreciated!!
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Q
Daytona Beach, FL
My son is having a very difficult time sleeping at his Dad's house. He wants to go and "play" but when bed time arrives he wants to come home. Most of the time he cries
uncontrollably and his dad has to call me. Usually ends up bringing him home. Recently
he brought him home and he changed his mind again wanting to stay with his dad. I don't
make a big deal, act emotional or anxious. I try to convince him that his dad is capeable and he's safe there. I end up feeling horrible. He seems confused. This is new to me, so any advice is welcomed and needed. Thanks
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Q
Dallas, TX
My son is 2 years old and wants to use the potty, my question is how do you potty train a boy? He went on the potty for the first time yesterday (YAY!!) but he peed all over the cabinet @ daycare!! This is my first son and I'm @ a loss, do you teach them to stand @ this age or sit and if they sit how do you keep the pee in the potty?
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Q
Columbus, OH
My son is 5 and starts kindergarten this fall and he still wears pull ups to bed. I would love some advice on how to get him to stop having accidents in the night.
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Boston, NH
Hi! This is my first post at Mamasource! I've been reading it for over a year now, and it's been so helpful to so many that I thought I'd try it out for myself...
My son will be 2 on Feb 3. He's a very bright little boy. I have started talking with him about going to the potty like a "big boy" to try to introduce him to the idea of it. Problem is, I don't know where to begin! Are some potty seats better than others? Do I even need one, or should he just use the toilet with a step stool? I have no idea when he goes, he doesn't tell me yet (occasionally he will say "wet", but not frequently!!)...Am I thinking of trying this too soon? Help! Any advice would be so great!! Thanks in advance!
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Q
San Francisco, CA
I would love to have advice on the best methods for helping my 5 1/2 month old baby girl fall asleep on her own. Currently, she will sleep for 7-10 hours at night, but she does so after falling asleep in my arms. I've started the Ferber method, but I would love to have a more gentler option. What has been everyone's experience with sleep training? I would love to hear about it and I would greatly appreciate the input.
Thanks,
J. B
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Q
Springfield, IL
Hi! My little daughter is 14-months-old, and we have had a very healthy nursing relationship since she was born. I have really enjoyed nursing my daughter. As a working mother, I found it vital to staying connected with her. However, the past few weeks have become very challenging for me. She has started pulling my shirt down whenever she pleases (at dinner with my in-laws, in the grocery store, etc.) and she gets very upset and scrams if she cannot nurse. I have been trying to slowly wean her, but we have been backsliding lately. i wanted to do baby-led weaning, but to tell the truth, I am just exhausted. She still wants to nurse 1-2 times in the night. i feel like she is still waking up so much because of nursing, and that if she were weaned, we would all sleep better. But she is really, really fighing it. Has anyone else had a child who was impossible to wean? All of my friend said their kids didn't really care that they awre getting weaned and that it was a smooth transistion! No such luck here. I dod not want to traumatize my child, but I have read that nursing should end if either mother or child begins to lose interest. i feel VERY guilty that it is me who is ready first, but you just hit a point when you want your body back. Am I being selfish? I need help! :)
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Q
Allentown, PA
My boys are mentally disabled apparently they are 9, 12 & 16. The two little ones asked the question about why we shop for Nana & Poppop, Grammy and other adults. Why doesn't Santa shop for them. I told them that Santa is busy with all the boys & girls and doesn't have enough time to deliever to adults. I just wondered how you would have handles this what do you tell them and when?
Love in Christ,
C.
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Q
Sacramento, CA
I am not allowed to see my 4-yr-old grandson who lives 5 miles away. This situation occurred when my son 'sided' with his father (with his encouragement!) against his mother (me) in our divorce 10 years ago. And the revenge continues. Sad, huh? No one does anything to encourage reconciliation; even my 2 locally-living sisters have 'sided' with my charismatic, narcissistic ex. Legally in CA, 'grandparent visitation rights' do not apply in this case. Counseling I've been to - I understand the dynamics and manipulation - but does anyone have advice on what to do when simply feeling "down" about it?
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Q
Detroit, MI
hi all!
i am concerend about my 5 year old daughter. She woke up with pain in her leg and is now limping. she has been sleepy all day as well and this is not like her. when she bends or moves it any way it is very painful. Anybody had any similiar experiences?
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Q
St. Louis, MO
My 18 month old daughter, Evie, still has her pacifier all of the time. She does not need it, it hangs to the side of her mouth most of the time. When she is playing she is perfectly fine without it but it does help her fall asleep at nap and night time. I want to get rid of it!!! Please tell me what to do. My husband and I are sick of it and are afraid it will hurt her in the long run with talking and her teeth development. Any advise?
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Q
Columbus, OH
I have an African-American friend who is expecting her first child, a baby girl, in September. I would like to make some hair bows for her new little one but I want to make sure they will work in her daughter's hair when it's thick enough. Does anyone know if alligator clip hair bows that are lined with ribbon will work in African hair? It seems to me that they would work in any hair regardless of texture, but I would hate to give a gift that has no use, and be insensitive to our differences.
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Q
Denver, CO
Hello Everyone. Now that my 5 yr old is out of school these days, I am finding it hard to find time to get the things done that I need to get done. DOes any one have any suggestions or tips on how to keep my 2 yr old busy and 5 yr old busy while I do some household chores and even just take a shower! They have their toys and games, puzzles but for some reason would rather make messes and fight with eachother when I am not looking. That only get all of us frustrated. Thank you for your suggestions.
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Q
Salinas, CA
My daughter will be 3 in May and we are talking about trying for another this summer, so the kids will be just about 4 yrs difference. We have like no family help, I have my grandma that watches my little one once a week and I have to work FT. I know your never fully ready for change in life, but I do want another and I dont see waiting longer but I also look at If I wait until they are 4.5-5 yrs apart it may cost less and maybe easier? My 3 yr old is very active and so lovable. Since I have no family help and had a c section I wanted to wait and enjoy her, but now she is almost 3 and dont want to wait too long. Is a 4yr difference good and is 5 yrs too long? What is your pros & cons from experience, thanks for your help.
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Q
Grand Rapids, MI
My 5 year old son asked me today if there were such things as aliens. Somewhere he saw E.T. and told me that he was scary, but he knew that "he is really a nice guy." :) He figured out that E.T. was an alien and then asked me if aliens are real. My response was that I had never seen one, but that I didn't know if they were real or not. How would you have answered that and do you think I should have just said "No!"?
Secondly, My 7 year old still believes in Santa, fairies, etc., but did question it this past year. My question is how did you or do you plan on responding to the "are they really real?" questions. I don't have any qualms about having my children believe in these things. I feel it is part of the magic of childhood and I don't feel that I am "lying" to my children. We instill the true meaning of Christmas so please don't respond with comments about lying to my children.
Thanks for your time.
C.
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Q
Reading, PA
My daughter is almost 3 and is almost potty trained. Our confusion is this, when she pees it either shoots out onto the floor or her entire butt gets wet also. I have tried making her pee with her legs close together or open, leaning forward and back, putting her feet up on a stool or letting them dangle. The only time it doesn't shoot out is when her legs are way apart but that then makes it difficult because she starts taking her clothes off, which since she's going to preschool next week isn't the best plan. Any suggestions for making the pee actually go down?
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Q
Charlottesville, VA
My son, who will be 4 in October, has had trouble going to sleep at night. It will take him 45 minutes to an hour and half some night to fall asleep. He takes an early afternoon nap of 1 hour and half or so. If he doesn't get this nap, he is very cranky and uncooperative in the evenings. We have a bedtime routine with soft music, quiet playtime, books being read, hugs and kisses, and lights out (with my husband and I). Then I put him in his bed and I go back into my room, which is down the hall. He will continually get up to come visit me. I walk him back to his room and tuck him in again. Some nights he will get up 8 times or more, less if we have been outside active in the afternoon. He doesn't need to go pee, drink water, or eat crackers (that is part of bedtime routine). He just walks in and when I get up to take him back, he walks back and crawls in the bed. I am looking for any suggestions to get him to stay in his bed and be still for a few minutes in order to fall asleep. I am allergic to lavendar, so those bath and lotion products are off limits. Thanks for your help.
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Q
Dallas, TX
Please help me i need to know of a place other then walmart to find a good trainning bra. My daughter has been complaning about her chest hurting and i need to be ready for that trip to the store. I developed early so i guess i should be ready for it but she is my first born and im happy she is becoming a little lady. But i dont want to buy her a cheep one but i dont want to bye the most expence one eather. Thanks for everything. =)
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
Hi mamas, I have another question for all of you... I read all of the time about how it is important to take one-on-one time for your kids. We have an almost 4 year old boy and almost 3 year old girl. When my husband and I are both home we will sometimes try to do special one-on-one trips where I will take my son and my husband will take my daughter, or vice versa. It could be as simple as going to the grocery store, going to rent a movie, going to buy a new book etc. However, I feel like they see it as more of a punishment than a special mommy or daddy time because they never want to be separated. My son even started crying when I took him to the beach and to get ice cream(during my daughter's then 3-hour nap)because he said he wanted his sister to wake up and come. They will NEVER chose to go without the other one anywhere if given the choice, and if we don't give them the option they just stress on where their brother/sister is the whole time. Is one on one time really that important if the kids don't seem to want it? Will they want it more when they are older? I love that they are close but do they need to learn how to be separated? My son will not start school for almost 2 more years because he is an April bday so I have awhile before I have to worry about that aspect. Has anyone else dealt with this?
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