Your Experiences in Weaning Pre-schooler from Pacifier

My son LOVED his pacifier but we have him weaned by about 14 month. He looked older because he was big for his age then. At about 12 months, we started limiting when he had it to just at bed time. Once he was asleep, we took it so he would not wake up with it. If he woke up with it, it was hard to take it away.

My daughter weaned herself by 8 months. Didn't use it a lot before that anyway.

4.5 is way too old to still have a pacifier (barring developmental/physical conditions I am not aware of) so please don't waiver. Each night will get better but he can sooth himself.

I let my son keep his pacifier in his bed only. Eventually, I cut the tip off and told him it was broken. He took it out and that was that.
I didn't hold him, take him into my bed, rock him, or anything. I told him he was a big boy and that he still had his bunny to snuggle with.
He whined a bit, but I'm pretty no nonsense and really, if it is broken, and I can't fix it... He has to deal, right?

He only cried for an hour before falling asleep? Not too bad. The next nights will get better and better.

BUT, this: "I held him both times until he fell asleep and brought him into our bed for comfort."

No. Don't do that. You're taking one crutch and giving another. Give him a cuddle, tell him goodnight, and leave him in his own bed....or you're going to be asking us in two weeks how to get him OUT of your bed!

Your working on one problem and creating another one, I am not sure why you would do that. Get rid of the paci(I promise he will get over it in a few nights) but do not hold him for comfort till he falls asleep or bring him into bed with you. If he were a baby I would definitely go that route but he is almost five! Leave him be, he will cry but not so long as he gets used to it. I

Snip the tip of it and tonight let him discover it is not working anymore.. Just say "It is not working? Then we need to throw it away." "Or let him sleep with the broken Pacifier in his hand. Or tie it to his lovey..

Give him a cuddly or whatever else he is fond of to sleep with.

Do this today, so that by Monday he will be used to not having it.
Do NOT take him to your room, He may cry for 2 nights, but he will get over it. Be strong. You know this has gone on way too long. You are the parent, you make these decisions for him..He will be able to let it go when he realizes, it is just not coming back.

My BIL and SIL tell me that in Denmark they have a binki tree, where kids hang their binkies when they are erady to be big boys/ girls. It is cause for celebration.

We don't have any personal experience with this one as our DS never took to the pacifier. My advice though is throw them all out. If you don't have them available, you can't relent. Be careful about the snuggling in bed routine as that might "take", and become a new routine.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Cold turkey! Throw them all out so you can't give in. Once he realizes they aren't coming back he will start finding new ways to soothe.

We had to wean our four year old from thumb sucking. It was causing dental issues and had to stop. I still contend that that period was a heartbreaking moment for me. He only did it at night, but it killed me to hear him cry when we put the thumb guard on. His security blanket made him suck his thumb more, so we had to get rid of that too. I always said a pacifier addiction would have been easier, because you can take that away, but a thumb is kind of attached. It doesn't make the process any easier on the emotional side though.

We started by explaining why he had to stop. We didn't refer to age or being a baby, we kept it about his teeth. "Your thumb is pushing on your teeth and it is going to start hurting your teeth. You can't feel it right now, but you will start to feel it when you get bigger. And we need big healthy strong teeth." Admittedly my BIL is our dentist, so it helps that his Uncle helped drive the point home for him.

I have to admit, we wound up bribing our kiddo. At the time he was wanting to move up from Duplo legos to the smaller Legos. So I bought him a larger set (he was into Toy Story at the time, so that was what we got). We put it on the fridge and told him that after he went two weeks without falling asleep with his thumb in his mouth, he could have the set. 14 days with no forgetting or accidentally sucking his thumb. We put 14 large yellow post it's above his door. Every night before bed we'd put a small post it on the big yellow one if he was successful the night before.. If we caught him sucking his thumb while he was awake, we gently reminded him and after he fell asleep we would take down the small post its. We were VERY gently about the small post its being removed. Once he saw that we were sticking to the rules, he worked VERY hard at not sucking his thumb or pulling the guard off. After he made it a full, uninterrupted 14 days, we celebrated with ice cream sundaes and he got the toy.

It took him about a month. After he stopped falling asleep with his thumb in his mouth, the night time thumb sucking stopped about two weeks later (he kept wearing the guard). We were careful not to go overboard with the cuddling and sleeping with us. We were afraid of creating a new habit or problem...because it would have turned into an issue with our kiddo.

I know some will disagree with the idea of a bribe, but it took some of the sting out of it for all of us. Our four year old had some control and motivation. It stopped some of the heart break and tears in our house. It just made the whole transition easier.

It will be bad for a few nights and then it will be over. I bet by Sunday he'll be fine. One of my kids was 3.5 when it was time to wean him. He had been a nighttime only user for a while and then it crept back into the daytime. The final straw for me was one day I walked in the my family room and *all three boys* (ages 1.5, 3.5 and 9.5) were sucking on binkies. Oh hell no! As I was fuming about how to break my middle son of this addiction (the other two were just doing it to be silly) he asked me if he could go to Build A Bear. The light bulb went on and I told him no, BaB is for big kids only and because he's still using a binkie, he's not ready for BaB yet. Well immediately he was all about not needing a binkie anymore. So I told him that after 3 days of no binkie, I'd take him to BaB.

Well the first night was hell. He was up crying and crying and saying "I don't want a bear, I want my binkie! I'm not a big boy I'm just a little guy!" It was heartbreaking but eventually he exhausted himself to sleep and then woke up later and it started all over again. Of course I help him and comforted him through it. The second night was better - it only took maybe a half hour of crying and whimpering before he fell asleep and he didn't wake up. On night three, it was about 5 minutes. And then the next day we got his bear and he's been sleeping with him ever since (it's been 6 years).

Is there something he's been asking for or wanting to do that you can tie to this? A little something he can look forward to so that you can put a positive spin on this instead of it just being an experience where something is being taken away from him?

What we did, on the recommendation of the moms here on this site, was to cut the tips off of all of the binkies. That's all I did. My daughter was a binkie addict (had one in her mouth 24/7 until our dentist said we had to take them away from her). Anyway, I was prepared for her to throw a tantrum and freak out, but what she did was stand in front of her binkie drawer (yes, we had a whole drawer of them), trying out one after the other. She would put one in her mouth, suck on it, realize it was not as satisfying as before (because once the tip is cut, it won't hold air), and discard it. After she tried the last one, she looked up with a confused look on her face, said, "They're all BROKEN!" and wandered off. That was it. She never asked for one again. It was utterly bizarre. I had really been prepared for a battle, but no. Once they were "broken," she had no further interest in them. She went cold-turkey all by herself.

I've heard similar results from all who have tried that method, so... maybe worth a try?

My 2 year old does not use the paci at daycare. She uses it at home, most of the time it is in the car, or when she is in bed. I try to keep it from her other times.

Dwindle down to just bed times.

My son chewed a hole in his, and daycare told told him "me me all gone" (he called it a me me ). We stuck with that at home it took 2 nights and we were good to go.

My husband: tossed his in a pond to get rid of it. I have heard of others mailing it to other babies who need it.

I told my daughter that her grandpa needed them and that grandma was going to take them all home to him. She agreed. That night, she ask for it and I said remember - you let grandpa have them. He needed them. And she said ok and went to sleep. Never used one again. She was about 2.

I'd suggest finding a similar scenario (might have to be a little more creative for a 4 year old) and go for it.

Don't worry about camp - he's 4. He has boundless energy, I'm sure. In fact, all that tiredness might help him to fall asleep without it.

The pediatrician insisted we get rid of it. The "paci fairy" came one night and took it. She left a "big girl toy" in the paci's place. Chickpea was perplexed but really wanted the toy so she got over it in a day or two.

He 4, that's about 3 years too long to be using that. He is old enough to understand why he doesn't need it. Cut them out cold turkey. Do not console him - he should have learned how to self sooth years ago. He has got to learn, you're doing more damage than good by soothing him when he is crying for it.

My oldest gave it up at 3 months, my second we weaned at 13 months, and the youngest gave it up at 9 months. They need to find other things to self sooth and it's much easier at a younger age.

Please don't take my post as mean, I am sure there are plenty of things I do as a mom that other's disagree with, but it is what it is, right? Enjoy him being little still, but allow him to grow up. He'll turn out just fine!

My daughter didn't wean until 4 yrs old. We started with rules like- not outside the house or car, then only at home, then only in bed. She'd use it to fall asleep and then I'd take it out of her mouth. Eventually she chewed a little hole in the only one she had left. She still used it to fall asleep until one night I took it out of her mouth and she just never asked for it again. I think the little hole took away some of the sucking pleasure. I swear I thought she'd never lose the binky! She was seriously addicted! Good luck!

My son had them. He would wear it. One by one I decided at about 18 months it was time for them to go. So as they wore out I did not replace them.

One afternoon I went to his crib to find him standing and crying. I asked him what was wrong and he pointed to the nipple of Binky that had fallen off and onto the floor. I told him that Binky was all gone. I made it sound sad but at the same time positive. It took us about three nights and after that he was fine.

I guess I saw a child your age once and decided that when I had children they would not be wearing Binkies at that age and made sure. A smaller child I could see but not one that old. It made me think of a neighbor who sucked her thumb and all the kids made fun of her. She was crushed but she learned to stop because of ridicule.

Good luck to you on the paci. Don't put him in your bed. Don't cuddle him to sleep. Put him in his bed and let him learn to soothe himself back to sleep. Otherwise you will be writing how to get the kid out of my bed. The answer is don't put him in it in the first place.

the other S.

Of my three kids, my oldest had her pacifier the longest. She was 3.5 when we took it away. We did it cold turkey. I just collected them all, and threw them out one day. When she started looking for them, we told her they were lost. We had a rough few nights as she was screaming and telling us to go to the store and buy new ones. But she survived.

We didn't want to repeat this with our boys, so we took theirs away at a younger age. They were both about 2.5 when we did. Again, it was cold turkey. They cried for a night or two, then started sleeping through the night. The biggest downside, was they both stopped napping once the Nuk was gone. My middle child stopped for a few weeks, then resumed and napped until he was four. The youngest stopped napping and would never lay down for a nap again. The only time he napped after that was if he fell asleep in the car.

We did the pacifier fairy. We told our 3-year old daughter that her pacifier was needed for the new babies, and that the pacifier fairy doesn't just take the pacifier, she leaves a basket of toys. I bought a bunch of books and a stuffed animal that could replace the pacifier at night. Our daughter was so excited about the books(she loved to read) and bunny, she didn't make a sound at bedtime about the pacifier.

He will adjust a d be fine for day camp.

Both my kids had to get off their "babas" around age 3. For the first one the fairy came and got them, and some small presents arrived the next morning. That was fairly easy because the first night without it we could point to the new stuff and say "remember, you have this cool stuff now instead..." The second child we were more lazy and they just started getting lost and one night we just couldn't find one. Once we got through the first couple nights without it, it slowly became a long forgotten memory. I just found a few the other day cleaning out the car (so that's where they all were!).

Hang in there, I would comfort him, but in his own bed. I'd stop at bringing him into yours or you could create a whole new bad habit. Its easier to wean off of falling asleep with your kid in his OWN bed, than it is to start kicking them out of yours when they get used to it...

I am one who lies with both my kids til they fall asleep most nights. In their own beds. Within reason. I usually leave when they are still "awake" enough to know I'm leaving, but at the point of no return for falling asleep. I know other people are stricter about that because they want their kids to fall asleep totally on their own. Its just my special time with them and it doesn't take long so its something I do. I get why others don't do it though.

Just hang in there, in the end it will be a small period of time that was rough to get through, and won't seem as bad as when you are right in it. And HE won't barely remember it at all.

Personally I think that consoling him is JUST FINE! Every child is different and loses it at their own pace. When I helped my children get rid of it, I traded them their pacifier for another item. I basically bribed them. My son was easy, and my daughter, who they helped the most, had to take each pacifier and suck on it before putting it in the garbage can! But each one picked an item (I didn't go crazy, just something special $20) and then were satisfied. My daughter wanted it back for the first few nights, but we talked about the agreement and I gave her a little comfort and then she made it through. I think people forget that we give them something to comfort them and then take it away and not help them to find a way to self comfort! I think that is unfair to a small child still learning. Good Luck!

Why can't he have it? Its not like hes going to camp with it or school. I soothes him before bed. What do you do unwind before bed? TV, computer, tea? Take that away when you take away the pacifier. In all honesty, it is not hurting him and you are replacing it with something even harder to take away....bringing him into your bed (which I am not opposed to as my daughter is sleeping next to me right now with her finger in her mouth and a blanket which I have NO plans to force her to stop doing).

Why do you really feel the need to take it away? Because its not socially acceptable? They are too old to have it? We all have or do things for soothing...they are no different. If you really want it gone, give him something to replace it with.

Sorry, after 4 kids, I find it almost comical what we are all worried about like taking away the pacifier, or the bottle, or a blanket or whatever. In the scheme of things, this is SO small and nothing to even worry about.