Young Teens and Clothing Styles

Updated on June 27, 2011
C.S. asks from Milwaukee, WI
9 answers

Do you let your daughter where the tights that they sell in the mall jewelry stores such as the lacey fish nets? I bought them for my girl not realizing how adult looking they look since it is mainly a kids store. She likes to wear bright clothing with mix matching belts and vests and I understand she is trying to dress different from others and not wear the Aeropostle clothes. Everywhere we go the workers say they love her style and even her teachers compliment her all the time. I think it is too played up and when she tones it down she is so beautiful. How do I get her to understand that she can't wear those tights and to tone down the clothes a little? Help me please. Note: I really do think she is going to do something in the fashion field when she is older and she started wearing mix match socks way before they were sold as pairs in the local stores. She will come up with a new style some day. May I add that I don't but her all the shirts and stuff she comes home in. She borrows them from others.

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So What Happened?

SH when she had those tights on with her boots I told her she was dressed like a hooker. I told her it is ok to dress in her wacky clothes but if something doesn't agree with me it is my job to point it out. She doesn't realize that how she dresses reflects on the rest of the family and I wouldn't want her to get grabbed or hit on by older boys.

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answers from Jacksonville on

Ditto to the short shorts comments. I am so tired of seeing girls and women alike dressed like sluts! Seriously. They are so short you can see almost everything, and I'm not just talking about their butts...especially when they bend over or sit down. What happened to class and modesty? Just because you CAN wear something does not mean you SHOULD. ;)

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answers from Boston on

Well it starts with what's in her closet. I would just say that you know that you allowed her to buy (or you bought her) certain things without realizing that they look a little trashy (or whatever word you use for your objection - sexy, cheap, whatever) when they're actually on her and while you value her fashion sense, it's your job to make sure everything falls within certain boundaries. Then find the tights (and anything else that's just not tasteful now matter how it's worn) and get rid of them. She can't wear what's not in her closet, right? Just be honest that this kind of thing happens - sometimes we make a judgment call and think something will look great and then in reality, not so much and in those cases, we just get rid of the mistake and move on.

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answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 16... responsible and mature. She is pretty good about what she wears to not go overboard with risque. I allow her to create her own style.

She mostly wears Hollister and Abercrombie.

She too plans to be in the fashion industry. She models some and has been asked to model (sell) for Hollister and the only reason she does not work there is that she is 16 and you have to be 17 for Hollister.

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answers from Denver on

If she's covered and you just don't agree w/ the style that is one thing. If she is wearing suggestive or revealing clothing - another. I'd talk with her about it. If it's just a style difference - I'd say let her express herself. Squelching it will do harm to her self confidence.

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answers from Chicago on

I've noticed that we are slowly accepting things that we totally would NOT have accepted years ago. The gradual change from cute, classic children's clothing to the trampy "hip" clothes changes every year so slow that we don't even realize it! My issue is the Halloween costumes, since when does a 9-year old need to look like a slutty witch?

My stepdaughter wore what I secretly called a "slutty witch" costume that her mom bought her. It included fishnets, and she wore it with heeled black boots. The bodice was skin-tight and it had a short tutu skirt that showed her butt and it dipped low in the front and if she had breasts they would have showed. It was not my choice and not my child so I had to just go with it.

After Halloween my SD wanted to wear the fishnets with one of her regular skirts and I absolutely refused. I told her they were for Halloween only.

Once you okay something, it's forever okay. I think modesty should begin young so when they get older and they want to push the envelope you still have some room. If you okay everything when they are young, like fishnets, then what will she want to wear when she's older??

I hope your daughter does follow her dream of becoming a fashion designer. Perhaps her dream will lead her to create fun fashions for young people that are NOT revealing!

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answers from Houston on

A lot of tweens and teens, and heaven forbid even elementary school girls look like prostitutes.

I'm all for individuality and everything, but when pairing things together, one has to be careful of how revealing/tight and such it is. I agree with the other moms, fishnet tights are cute... wear them with toms or sneakers or little sandals or chunky boots. It's when they are worn with heels, tight boots and little skirts is when it looks trampy.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

Please just at least make sure that the clothes FIT her. That to me is just unbelievable-these young girls walking around in these super short shorts. And now the new trend seems to be the cutoff denim shorts that they wear so tight that their legs burst out of them-esp if the girl has any meat on her thighs. It looks horrendous. And don't get me started on teen muffintop. Seriously-just because you are 13 does not mean that you are immune to the muffin top and it looks as bad on you as anyone.
If your daughter dresses funky-kind of like the I Carly kids thats ok. Fishnets really only look slutty when worn with stilletos or any kind of heel. Not saying that I think they will look good but I don't think they will look slutty.

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answers from Chicago on

It's NOT your job to point it out, It's YOUR job to take it away.....if she is dressing suggestive you need to be the parent & if she is borrowing these clothes you need to put a stop to it. Bottom line is your the parent stop making excuses for her.



answers from Phoenix on

I encourage my girls to dress modestly. If it isn't modest, they can't wear it. If it's inappropriate, they can't wear it. My girls are 10 and 16. My girls also like to dress unique and stylish. I always tell them they can be creative and stylish and still dress modest and classy. They're learning well. Keep it up and she'll get the idea on what's appropriate and what's trashy. Good luck!!!

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