You Need to Read This................ Important..............

Updated on May 26, 2008
C. asks from Lincoln, NE
20 answers

I went to some garage sales today and my son always gives me a hard time about getting out of the car. He is 6 years old and I still think it is too young for him to be in the car, when I am across the street or some where else looking at something. I think it is more important for him to be out of the car with me, when I am not in the car or by the car. Here it goes, I went to one by myself and saw another mom just leave her baby in the car while she looked around at the garage sale. The whole time this baby was screaming and crying and yet no mother. I never saw the mother go up to the car to see how the baby was doing. It was very weird! The mom just continued to shop. I thought this was horrible, I would never do such a thing. I even went across the street to another garage sale and the mom still had not done anything for that baby. Very wrong! When I left the baby was still crying and screaming....... Weird! I even looked into the car and did not see anyone or anybodyelse, but a baby. The windows were even down....... Scary! If that was my baby I would have the baby in the carrier and would have been carrying it around or in the stroller. I just don't understand people and their reasoning for horrible decisions. Let alone I would not even let my 6 year old in the car alone with out me, while I went to a garage sale! Talk about scary!!!!!!!! What do you other mom's think of this? Do you think it is okay to leave your child in a car, while you go to a garage sale? Why not just take the baby to a baby sitter and or grandma's and grandpa's so you can garage sale with out any screaming? Sounds a lot better to me than to keep your sweet little baby in the car and take off for a sale! Let me know your thoughts!

C.

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S.W.

answers from Iowa City on

Although I would never leave a baby in the car especially if crying. I have started a movie on the DVD player for my 4 & 2 yr old while I quickly browsed garage sales (also locked doors). I felt since I parked the car right near me & they were occupied & strapped in their seats in a locked car they were not in danger. Also I live in a very small town & I wouldn't do that in a bigger one. I know a lot of the people & it's a totally different situation than it would be somewhere else. Like other mothers have said I have no where to drop them off as their is not family around. It was a city wide garage sale too & cold weather so I was literally stopping every block. You could have just mentioned to the mother her baby was crying too, maybe she left her when she was sleeping? I think just simply mentioning that to the mother might have helped her realize leaving a helpless baby in the car is inappropriate.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

C., if you or anyone else ever witnesses this again, call the cops! Take down the license plate number and call Child Protection when you get home. This is not OK--parents who do this need a wake-up call.

More Answers

N.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is an issue I've never had before. I didn't go garage saling until my daughter was old enough to walk. Since my son was born in 2004, I haven't gone to a single one.

Sometimes babies just cry. They can have a dry diaper, be fed, burped and completely rested. There's no reason for it except that sometimes they just cry.

If I had a baby that cried all the time - not needing a diaper change or to eat or even to be held, that just cried because it could, I would leave it in the car at a garage sale too.

Maybe it is the only chance the mother has to get away from the constant crying.

Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to condem if you don't know the whole story.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Against popular opinion, I have left my child in the car while at a garage sale.

To my defense, it's only when my child is asleep. I don't go if I can't park right next to the driveway of the sale and I keep looking back to my car to see if she is safe and sound. If I EVER heard her crying or even if she was waking up, I'd have her come with me because she likes to look around at garage sales with me.

I have never left her in the car when I'm at a store or anything, but have left her in the car for her nap in our driveway. She doesn't transfer well so I just leave her in the car instead of risking her waking up and not falling asleep again. (I have even done this in the winter because we have 'remote start' installed in the car to keep the car running and warm.)

I agree that the mother in which this was posted about was neglecting her child...but, some will probably say I'm neglecting my child too. I'm not perfect and never claimed to be.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would have tried to find and talk to the mother or tell the person running the garage sale that there was a screaming unattended baby nearby. If possible, I would have offered to try and comfort the baby myself. It is so important that all mom's know that it's ok to go to a crisis nursery and just have someone else rock your baby - especially if you just need a break. It doesn't mean you're a good or a bad mom. All of us come from different experiences and we all have to deal with very different types of babies. I never had any "back-up" as we moved here from out of state, but I was lucky with two pretty easy babies. There really is no judgement at these crisis nurseries and all types of people go there. It's not just for the really desperate. I don't think you should take advantage of it like a babysitter, but if in fact, a mom and baby are having a really hard time, it is a good resource for support, education, and opportunity for a "break". I think this forum is an excellent place for support. Calling the police is scary and extreme and an important option, but I would really hope that us mom's could at some level (even if we wouldn't do it ourselves) find a way to offer advice and support without condemning the mom. Neglect can do a lot of harm to babies and children, but if the mom could learn gently and find out that there are other options, you might really impact a number of lives for a very long time.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't think it's ok....at all. I would have called the police. Obviously this mother thought what she was doing was ok, and it's not. It's illegal to leave a child unattended in the car. I have 2 toddlers and hate leaving one in the car to get one in the house when the car is just sitting in the driveway. I would never leave them alone while it's parked on the street in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

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J.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

I don't know your laws but here is is against the law to leave kids in the car unattended. I have called the police several times when I see this happen and I will continue to do so. I have also confronted parents on this as well. This is something that makes me so angry. It is NEVER okay to leave the kids in the car. I would have said something to the parent or called it in. That is just not okay with me. Things can happen way to fast, even if your in someones garage, someone could come grab your child and be gone before you could even think.

Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

I agree with you. Leaving a child in the car for an extended period of time is awful. I must confess I have left my daughter in the car long enough to run inside a gas station and prepay for my gas and I see nothing wrong with that. The doors were locked, I had the keys, and it took under 30 seconds. However, you must realize that not everyone has grandma and grandpa to rely on for babysitting and sometimes it is hard to find a decent babysitter. There is no excuse for leaving a child in a car while shopping. Next time why don't you call the police or express concern to the mother?

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J.A.

answers from Omaha on

C.,

Good for you for being so attentive and concerned. I read all the responses and yes anything could happen, life can change it a heartbeat.

I would like to offer a solution.

When my kids are with me, maybe sleepy and I need to step away from my vehicle, I keep a Maya wrap in my car. This slips over the shoulder easily and a little one can be easily slipped in while you shop, pay for fuel etc. It folds in your bag and doesn't require hardware or tools to assemble.

It also provides warmth when you need an extra blanket, privacy for nursing and safety for your little one.

It would be wonderful if hospitals would give one of these to each new mother instead of a diaper bag full of useless samples and coupons. I needed someone to help me use it at first and then it was easy.

When we were traveling, I used it with my 3 year old, even though she could walk and be held by the hand. She is shorter than everyone in a crowded airport so I would put her in the wrap on my hip or back and still have a hand free to carry bags. It seems so simple and would keep so many kids safer. It made our trip more enjoyable because I didn't stress out about keeping tabs on her, she was right there - on my hip or back, and she could see better being up high with the level of the crowds.

A baby holder also distributes the weight more evenly so your back and shoulders don't get fatigued. A Maya wrap or similar baby holder is simple, cost effective, keeps our kids close and safe. Pass the word!

Thank you for being a concerned, safety minded parent! It is just one of the ways we love and care for our kids...

J.

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J.T.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I agree with you, although I have NO family here and can't just drop them off, my kids are always with me. If I go into a gas station for a soda I take my kids with me. What if someone took my angels? I don't want to be that person asking myself, "why didn't I just take them with me?" My kids are my life and where I go, they go. I totally agree with you a million percent and probably would have called the police if I would have seen a baby alone in a car regaurdless where "mom" was. I believe that's child endangerment.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I wouldn't leaving a screaming baby in the car. Baby obviously needed something probaly mom.

But I see nothing wrong with leaving a sleeping child or even my very own 6 year old in the car with windows down while I'm a few feet away on someone's driveway browsing things. My daughter loves garage sales so she wouldn't stay in the car but if she wanted to then ok. As long as I can clearly see her I don't see what the big deal is of course the engine would be turned off too.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would have called the police about it. I would never leave my child in the car alone. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. There's been times when I've forgotten to got pick a book up at the library before daycare and I have both kids with me. I'm in there maybe 2 minutes but I still take them out and take them with me or just forget it and go straight home. If I forget something in the house I unstrap them and bring them inside with me.

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J.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would've tried finding the mother & if couldn't get the license plate number of the car & call the police so it wouldn't happen again!

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I wouldn't do it even though it's a hassle to take them in and out of their car seats each time. I'm thinking that maybe the kid was getting to her and she needed a break. Like when people step outside to get away from the crying. I've went into SA with my kids in the car because the receipt didn't print for me at the pump. I've done it one or two times and felt so guilty. I always parked in the front row and kept my eyes on the car but it's not the best. We don't know if her family is around to watch the kids. I'm thinking the child was just driving her nuts and she had to get away.

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A.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would have wrote down her liscense plate number and called the police and told them the situation. There is NO reason to leave a baby unattended, let alone screaming its poor little head off. If I go to a garage with my two children ages 4 and 2 they come with no matter what, I will wake them up and put them in a stroller if they are still tired. Or I simply dont go to them. You never know who is around the corner learking, watching and ready to take a child! To me it just isnt right, I dont leave mine alone in the car to even run into grab a pop and I live in a very small community.

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T.M.

answers from Jackson on

That is so WRONG! Leaving a baby in a car unattended! I don't care if she was in seeing or hearing distance of the car. It only takes a split second and her baby could have been gone. Esp. if the windows were down, a car could have pulled up and swiped that baby and been gone in a flash. I know I might sound like a crazy person, but it only takes a blink and something horrible can happen. Was it a hot day? That baby could have been burning up and that is why it was crying. I agree if she didn't have someone to come along or watch her/him, then she shouldn't be out to garage sales.

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would not leave my child in there screaming her head off (she is 2 ish). When she was a baby she would fall asleep so then I would leave her in the locked car with the window cracked but only if I was parked right by the driveway of the garage sale (and really saw something from the car I wanted to buy/check out... never taking more then 2 mintues). To me it is scary and not right to leave the child unattened for so long... and now with my daughter at age 2 she always come with me. It may be a 'hassle' getting them out of the car but it is safest thing to do.

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A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Calling the police seems a bit extreme. That would be appropriate if you saw a baby alone in a parking lot of a store. Not everyone has a grandparent nearby for free babysitting. I don't agree with leaving her baby in the car, but I can understand if she was nearby.

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T.C.

answers from Omaha on

I completely agree with you on this! If you can't manage to have your children with you while you garage sale shop then just stay home! I can understand if the child fell asleep, leaving them in the car and keeping a VERY close and watchful eye. But I could NEVER leave my child unattended in the car, and listen to their screams. Poor baby!

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

I could never leave my 3-1/2 year old daughter alone in the car! I can't even do it when I just have to return a movie to Family Video!!! I have to get her out with me...you just never know what could happen.

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