You Had Your Chance--A Book for Grandparents

Sounds a little mean spirited to me. Maybe write it and put it aside to pull out in 25 years when YOU are the grandparent.

There are such books already! How about one for parents that says grandparents may not know how to act but they still love their children and grandchildren and deserve credit for raising their children and might still know a thing or two. Parents (children) can listen with respect and still do what they want to do. It takes a respectful and loving relationship going in both directions for adult children and their parents to get along.

I love the tongue-in-cheek idea! How about, Yes, they can go in swimming if they just ate. No, they can't catch a cold from being outside. No, a hot dog is not considered 'grow food'. No, they don't have to clean their plate. And they don't get dessert as a reward for doing so. And no, their eyes won't stay that way.

I can think of tons. But my MIL is a wonderful grandmother, even if she believes in some of these old wives' tales. She loves the dickens out of her grandkids and that's all that matters to me.

I absolutely love the idea of writing it for yourself and taking it out in 20 years.

I'm here to say that if one of my daughters gave me a book like that, their free daycare days would be OVER.

V.:

I personally wouldn't purchase this - I value the experience and information I can receive from the older generation...grand parents, in my opinion, have EARNED the right to give you advice...yeah - there are times when it could be said better - but can't we ALL learn how to give advice better?

There are a ton of "HOW TO" books out there....maybe one for people to NOT expect things from other people just because they gave birth?

I agree with Mallory...sounds a little mean spirited....and it also sounds like maybe you need to work on your relationship with your Mother and MIL.
Writing this kind of book is not going to convince ANYONE to do a better job of being a grandmother....so much of it does depend upon the relationship between the two parties...I am a Grandmother and although I am SURE that I have given some unsolicitated advice on more than one occassion and although I DO love holding the baby...I am also very understanding and supportive of the parenting methods that my daughters have chosen for their children. I also have been known to wash an occassional dish....bath an occassional child...vaccuum an occassional rug....of course THEY have been known to wash MY dishes or vaccuum MY rug too....I scratch their back...they scratch mine!!
It is all about love,respect and understanding!!
I have less than the perfect MIL...in fact I could probably write an entire book just about HER...but what do I want to tell her...I want to tell her thank you for raising such a wonderful son that she shared with me 42 years ago....and that I love her!!! Not very good fodder for a zing...got ya book I guess.

If it were written similarly to that "Go the F--- to Sleep" book, with sweet little pictures to offset it, I think it'd be cute. I'd keep it simple and stuff that pretty much everyone concedes on, even grandparents, on the naughty things they do.
For the more serious, there are grandparent classes and a grandparent magazine (at Babies R Us and at our hospital) for all the things that have CHANGED and what is not "the way they did it". (Putting them on their back to sleep, car seat info, food "rules" for allergy reasons (or for DEVELOPING allergies, etc, etc).

If "Go the F*** to Sleep" can sell, I bet, "You Had Your F***ing Chance" might be the next big seller. (Kidding on the F-ing.)

Sounds like a good idea!

i wouldn't buy it...my son has wonderful grandparents. i only wish i had their wisdom most days.

Love that idea ! I would buy as a gift. The art of giving advice is knowing when it is not only needed, but wanted. I think experience is a great teacher but experience does not equate necessarily to wisdom.

I see what you are saying. It gets annoying when my parents let my kids stay up way too late and then don't understand why they are grumpy. And it bothers me when we go see the in laws and the kids are given candy when it is almost dinner time. BUT, I bite my tongue because I know how much our kids are loved by their grandparents and someday their grandparents will no longer be with us. We are only guaranteed today, this moment. My beloved grandmother died right after I flew overseas several years ago. I went to see her before I left and had no idea that it would be the last time I would see her. I want our kids to have good memories of their grandparents and unless their safety is the issue, I let things slide. As for the unsolicited advice, I just listen and then do what I want to.

LOL great title!
I know a lot of people can relate, especially after reading some of the stuff on this site.
Luckily not me, I actually love my MIL and my FIL, before he passed. I credit them with helping me keep things "real" and not take every little parenting issue too seriously :)

The people who need it most wouldn't buy it because they don't think they do anything wrong...but it does sound cute.

Its a joke people. Lighten up.

You know, in the humor section?

I think it sounds funny, and I've thought about writing one myself. All these people with the great in-laws should count their blessings rather than judging you.
We left my daughter (2) with my MIL for a couple of hours while we went out for lunch the other day. When we got back, my MIL had cut my daughter's bangs to 1/4 inch length. That's just one of many things I could include in my book.

Ha, the problem with this is that there would be no market for it. No one would give it to their parents or in-laws as a gift, because they'd take offense. It'd only be good as an inside joke between spouses.

But it is funny. My MIL is an incorrigible advice dispenser. I want to tell her: "If you were such a good mother, your son wouldn't need parenting advice now. And if he does need it, maybe it's because you weren't such a great example to him, so why would we listen to you now?"

Love the idea! I'd buy one!

Hmmm... I could go both ways on this one. I actually appreciate the advice the grandparents give to me. Sometimes I didn't think of a situation in the way they have and it helps. But I could agree also tho, that if written with humor, I would probably enjoy the book as well.

Good luck!

Sorry you have been called "mean spirited."
As Lynn said, the ones who need it would never read it.
I would add, show you grandchildren you love and care about them. Pay just a little bit of attention to them! Others who have not experienced the way my children were treated by both my parents and my in-laws have no idea how painful it is to see other kids who are doted on by their grandparents when they are ignored.
I cannot wait to be a grandma and do it right!

I see what you're trying to do and I don't think it's that negative, it could be really funny. BUT you gotta do it in the right way, because think about your target audience... who is going to buy this book? not the new grandma, that's for sure! the new mom wouldn't give it to the grandma because its insulting. and the new mom wouldn't buy it for herself, because she already has a grandma (or two) giving her more advice than she can take. SO my suggestion is to write it as a funny enough book that the new Grandmas will buy it and give it to the new moms. It would kind of poke fun at themselves, but would be funny enough to make THEM laugh, as well as the new moms they give it too. Every piece of advice would have to be embellished so they don't look critical or negative. And they could give it at the shower, and it would kinda open the conversation that parents do things differently nowdays, but grandmas have advice and like to give it, and probably will.

It could be called:

"A Promise."
The only (and maybe the best) advice you'll ever get from Grandma

HA I love it. Do it! Put just because your a grandparent does not mean you can create a monster out of my child. Just because I survived does not mean your parenting is what I agree with or want. Just because sugar was invented doesn't mean my child's insides need to be crystallized with it. Just because you walked in 5 ft of snow, up hill both ways doesn't mean I can't live in Florida.

I think it would be like Go the f*c* to sleep. That could be intended mean towards children, but it's not supposed to dis grandparents, it is just a funny little book. It would be funny if it was that way.

Nice title Rosebud, come on mommas she isn't trying to be offensive like a serious book she's joking. If I were a grandma I'd laugh, but I don't take it seriously like that (same if there was a mom book like that).

The only thing I would say is that it would be helpful if certain grandparents would not keep pestering my husband and I for more grandchildren. It's not welcomed. I know they mean well, but it can be rather hurtful when it is asked repeatedly. Not everyone had a wonderful pregnancy and birth. Some need time. Other then that, I have always welcomed advice, support, and the constant unconditional love they provide my little family.

While you probably intended this to be humorous - let's see how that plays out w/you in later years, most especially should you end up raising a grandchild or two!

Even though it might not be considered helpful...I'm thinking most grandparents would rather hold/rock/play with their grandchild, so much more than cleaning the kitchen or making dinner :)

I worked in a bookstore for 12 yrs.-got to see 12 yrs. worth of books coming and going.
And I have a mother who gives me unsolicited advice on every stupid thing under the sun.
I think it is a great idea. :) And yes, if it was funny enough it would sell. ;)

definitely lace it with 100% humor.

grandma doesnt have to be a "mommy" anymore, that parts over,,,its g-ma time. Time to spoil them, not have to punish, always be the good cop, strap them down with sugar and kisses, go to dinners where you have to control them, movies where you will have to bring them out in the hall. They earned it

id knock out some old wives tales in it, like walking too early makes babies bow-legged, sucking the thumb gives kids rabbit teeth.....etc...

I can agree with that I appreciate they raised how ever many kids, but at the same time some of the advice is outdated. Like putting cereal in the formula to make them sleep all night. Dr, WIC, always told me not to, but Grandparents were all for it. Or when and how to introduce new foods. I wanted to go gradually to prevent allergies and they wanted to shove anything possible in his face. It's no fun when you have just had a baby and someone is telling you how to do everything. Also, don't be offended when the new mommy doesn't want a sitter. I know they love the baby and want to spend time with them, but my ex in laws always wanted to baby sit. I felt like s***, I was nursing, bleeding, recovering from a C section etc. Not the best time to dump off my kid and go out in my opinion. I just wanted to be at home with my baby. He is now 6 and I still don't get a sitter all that much. It's so much easier when the "newness" has wore off and people are trying to advise you about everything. Not as many people approach a mother of a 6 year old with advice. :-)