Yes, Another Potty Training Question. - Urbandale,IA

My son was older when I started him (3) and did everything in stages. It took him a few months to do #2 and he does it in his potty chair. Before that, he would ask me to put a diaper on him. Then one day he decided it was time and went on the potty and has been going ever since. I also had changed the location of the chair. Don't know if that had anything to do with it.

Okay, this may gross people out, but it worked for us. We would put the potty chair in front of the TV and let her watch cartoons while she "waited" for it to come. This way, she wasn't forced to sit in a boring bathroom. Thankfully, this stage did not last long, and we transitioned it to the regular bathroom once she could read her signals alittle more easily.

Now, having said all of that, I do kind of agree with the post about waiting to potty train until after the baby comes. It really isn't as bad as people make it out to be, having two in diapers. It's actually easier to not have to clean up as many messes and sure cuts down on the laundry during those first exhausting months of a new baby.

Hang in there. I hated potty training!!!! I hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes well, and best wishes for a safe (and speedy!!) delivery.

I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through. My 2 1/2 yr old son has been completely pee potty trained for @ 6 months. We tried the no diapers for poop & told him he needed to go on the potty. Well he held it for 5 days! When I finally broke down & gave him a diaper it took him 45 mins to go & it was very painful for him. I decided not to push it as it was becoming a risk to him. He would wear underwear during the day & then just ask for a diaper to go poop. He would go, but we told him he had to sit on a stool in the bathroom (wearing his diaper) because that's where you go potty. We would clean him up & then put his underwear back on. All of a sudden @ 3 weeks ago he just decided he was ready to go poop on the potty. We haven't had an accident at all either!!!

getting her potty trained before baby comes will likely end up backfiring on you. put her back in diapers- but be clear "diapers are for babies... mommy needs you to be able to poop and pee in the potty to wear big girl panties..."

it's worked well with my daughter. I never pressured her to get to the toilet, though. she decided last weekend *(in her words) "me no baby. no more diaper." I said- ok- then that means you'll have to use the toilet to pee and pooh, otherwise, you'll make a gross mess all over yourself.

letting her train at her own pace may not be your ideal, but it's the best way to do it and will have the least amount of regression involved. you really can't force a kid to the toilet.

Best wishes- and congrats on your soon-to-be-here baby!

That cycle is really hard to break. My advice would be to give her a little stool softener like miralax or something (not a stimulant laxative, just something to make it easier to go), then have her relax and sit on the potty about 20 minutes after she eats.

Also, if she's using a potty ring, she might do better without it. My son did way better pooping at that age, when he could actually hang is bottom into the toilet (just teach her to hold onto the outside of the bowl). That position is more like squatting and helps relax the colon.

Hope this helps,

T.

She might be acting out b/c you are pregnant and she knows a new baby is on the way?

Also, if you are going back and forth between diapers/pull ups and underwear she is probably getting confused with that too. I say stick to undies and do lots of potty breaks.

Good luck!

Successful potty training is not strictly age-dependent; kids train somewhere between 18 months and 5 years, depending on an array of physical, nervous, and emotional factors, and cultural/familial patterns. Every child is different. Some kids need more time to get the pooping thing worked through, and will withhold if they feel pressured, resulting in constipation, painful elimination, further withholding, and possible encopresis (which is a serious medical problem that's hard to correct). These difficulties in turn slow down the poop training, so pressuring a child before she's willing or able may end up lengthening the whole process, and certainly adding stress for both child and parents. (Your loss of patience, and your daughter's pain, are HUGE warning signs.)

I've known a number of moms who do let their kids use a diaper for pooping for however long they need it. When these children are given the time they require to sort out the sensations and their feelings about the ongoing responsibility to get to the potty on time every time, they do eventually decide they can handle it and develop a genuine willingness. At that point, training is often complete, and child-led, in a day or a week.

Because your daughter has had the added stress of painful withholding, it may take her awhile to do the necessary sorting out. That's really not her fault, and if you keep urging her to do it your way, the whole situation is likely to become worse.

It's great to have a child who's fully trained, and with another baby coming, I can sure understand your eagerness. But this is something that the child works through, not the parent. The best scenario for potty-training is what some researchers call potty "learning," which is completely child-led and parent-supported. When approached from this natural, unpressured direction, regression when a new baby arrives is far less common.

The latest I personally have known a child (a boy) to fully day train was age 4 + 10 months, and that child is still not night trained at 7 years. But two different pediatricians convinced his parents to follow his lead, and assured them that when his body and nervous system have matured enough, he'll be night trained, too.

My daughter was 2 and 3 months when my son was born. She had successfully been training and doing pee and some poop in the potty for about 4 months at that point. When he was born she regressed, but only 3 months later, she just decided she was tired of being just like the baby and realized she would get more attention for going in the potty...so she just decided and at 2 and a half, she was in big girl undies, and we have had maybe 6 accidents TOTAL since then, and now she is 4! We did still do diapers for naps and bedtime till she turned 3 and had had about a month of waking up dry in the diapers before we switched her to undies for bed.

Actually, her being in diapers still while the baby was a newborn, was kind-of easier for me, because if we had to go to the Dr. for a checkup or grocery shopping with 2, it was easier not ot have to worry about trying to juggle her and the diaper bag and him in a public restroom, for her to go potty - she had a diaper, and as long as she wasn't poopy, I knew it could wait till we got home - potty can't wait, and sometimes it is WAY hard with a newborn and a toddler in a public restroom!

Good Luck and don't stress yourself or her out about it. It will happen when she is ready!

Jessie