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This poster hasn't asked any other questions nor answered anyone else. Perhaps this is legit, but be careful how much personal information you're sharing here. I'm always wary of questions that inquire about children's private behavior when there isn't a history of participation on this site.
Touching ourselves feels good and is completely natural. The only thing kids this age need to be told is that this is natural, yes it feels good, but should be done in private.
I'm not sure why your husband would have had a strong reaction to this, does he not remember himself at this age? It sounds like the two of you need to talk about this and get any issues out on the table before it affects your son negatively.
This is a normal age for this kind of exploring. If you ever volunteer at school, you'll see LOTS of little boys & a few girls "holding." When I volunteered, I thought they needed to go potty, but the teacher told me that lots of boys are "holders" at that age.
I told my son that there was nothing wrong with it, but that it was PRIVATE touching. It took about 2 years for that to stick. Or maybe he just started to develop modesty and I had nothing to do with it.
Unless you see something that suggests exposure to something sexual, I wouldn't worry. At this age, it's a neat floppy toy that just happens to come with the package. I suppose it feels good too, but I never asked.
You have come to the right place.
Some of the mothers MAY say, discourage, suppress.
Sighhh . . . .
Some of the mothers will probably say:
Explain to DS there's a time and a place for everything.
The time and place for this activity is in private,
in your own bedroom.
I'm confident that, because of how you were raised,
you will be very careful that your son is not taught
to be ashamed of his body and how it works.
I'm unclear about your husband's reaction . . .
he has different equipment? he didn't explore when he was a kid?
he has some internalized beliefs that this exploration is "bad"?
Anyway, as you probably know . . . .
if/when you talk to your pediatrican, the advice you get
may vary with the pediatrician's own attitudes and comfort.
I think, in addition to the various advice you get here,
you check into 3-4 books on normal developmental stages
and see what is recommended there.
Enjoy!
Do not make a big deal out of this. He was doing the right thing by being alone in his room when he did this. Just remind him that it is something you do in private, and let him explore his own body, it does belong to him afterall.
My nephew did the same thing when he was 5. I think it is just a normal part of figuring out his body. Nothing to worry about.
It is really normal at this age. Remember the more attention you pay to this, the more he will do it. It is his favorite toy and it is always around! More then likely he will grow out of it. I always just told my kids that I didn't want to see it and if that is what they choose to do then they can do it in their bedroom. Maybe you can get you husband to control his emotions and don't make your son ashamed of his body.
Wondering what "more than exploring" could mean.
This is normal behavior.
Don't pass on your poor body image to your son.
Tell him it's something he needs to do in private--which he already seems to know.
From the number of responses I've read on this site, I'd say it's pretty normal. My son is 12 yrs, and he's never been a crotch grabber.
Perhaps I should be worrying that he's not.
you said it right he is self exploring and it is perfectly normal for this age. you need to talk to your husband or he will really have a cow about the age of 12 when he starts m*********** all boys do it about that age its called puberty.and they arent necessarily very sneaky about it.
I myself am dreading this day, My son is 9 months old so I know he doesn't know he has one yet. I think I may have the same reaction, and just like you I was taught that exploring yourself was a bad thing. (my parents tired being religious but never worked) but they would tell me its a sin to play with yourself. hahaha from what my mom told me I was pretty avid about it especially once I found myself. I don't want him growing up thinking its wrong either. and like what mommymommy said it's just a neat flabby toy. Now my biggest thing is I am pregnant again with a girl this time, what do I do then....,hahaha I guess I will cross the bridge when I come to it. Good luck. :) and have a Happy new year.
Completely normal!!! However, gently advise/teach your son that while it is his body and he can explore...to do it in private bedroom/bathroom and that is is not appropriate in public.
Sounds like he is very appropriate. Exploring in a private place at a private time. My suggestion is to knock before entering his room. My daughter was 3 the first time I walked in on her. I've knocked ever since and haven't had an issue.
Hello,
First may I state that I think you are not only wise to get a general concensus on this issue or non-issue as the case may be. Let me also state that if you decide to talk with your pediatrician then you are subjeccting yourself to that persons opinions, hang-ups, background, and personal history. Yep, even physicians have personal prejudices, especially if they wer ebrought up in a home similar to yours. All the medical schooling out there does not over rule deeply set personal experiences.
Personally, and again, I bring with my answer my own history, I would have to say it is pretty normal at that age and unless you are concerned about his being exposed to inappropriate material or gestures, then I would leave it alone. You my ask yourself not "why is he doing this, but why not" Children are not inherently prejudice or ashamed, but they are inherently curious. If it comes up again (no pun intended) you might explain that he made the appropriate choice in doing this alone in his room etc.
T. Nelson CD (DONA)
My advice, is to do nothing. He was doing it in the privacy of his room and it is a natural part of life. I wouldn't say anything about it unless it becomes an issue when he is in the public areas of your home. My philosophy is that if you are in the privacy of your room than it's perfectly fine to masturbate, girls or boys. It's no different than eating, sleeping, breathing, it's part of life.
