WWYD? I Feel Guilty

You don't say how old the kids are so it's hard to give more advice.
I would go... I would suck it up since I made the choice to have 45 people at a kids party - i would suck it up and go...she's my girlfriend and she needs support.

You can craft a gift. While money is tight - you can buy $1 toys at Target - yeah - it's cheap but you don't want to go empty handed...if you have pics of the kids - you can print them and put them in frames...not a typical gift for a kid - but who knows! they might appreciate it.

I don't think we've ever had a birthday part for a kid that had 45 people attending - to me? that's INSANE!!!

It's just one day. A year from now you won't remember that you felt put out. But she'll probably remember that you cared enough to show up. Suck it up and go for a little bit.

I think that since she's only giving you a few days' notice, it's acceptable to say you already have plans on Sunday.

I'd probably suck it up, buy whatever present I could afford, and go on Sunday... even though I really really really wouldn't want to. If she's a good girlfriend, your support will mean a lot.

I know exactly what I would do. I would look at all the toys my child got for his birthday and know that my child didn't need even half of them. I would explain to my child that there was another party the next day and he has a wonderful opportunity to share the wealth. I don't have huge birthday parties because I don't like all the junk the kids get and I don't like the one up man ship or the fact that each year it seems that they party has to be bigger and better. I think that people are more important than things. I would show up with gifts for the kids at the other birthday party and support the single Mom. I can't even fathom being in her shoes. If she is a single parent she can't have a lot of time or resources so to put a party together must be hard.

It all depends on how good a friend she is. If she is just an aquaintence friend, that's one thing. If she is a dear friend, that's another. The first you call and say, sorry. The second, you make the sacrifice for and help out.

You have a decision to make. BTW, 45 people for a son's birthday party? That's a bit over the top, unless its to further your business.

Good luck to you and yours.

I agree-sometimes ya just need to bite the bullet and "show up" for your friends. Literally. Show up.
Life goes in peaks and valleys--of time, of energy, of money....
I think it's what you do in those times (valleys of money, peaks of activity) that reveals character.
I agree the gifts don't have to be expensive. Your time is what is valuable. You have a new baby--you won't be expected to stay for very long.

You can spend $1 on the gifts and show up for an hour, and spend the day relaxing, just don't stress about it and don't push yourself to do more. Make the gifts easy and simple, no need to run around everywhere and make it a big deal. There lots of cute little craft activities at the Dollar store or the dollar section in Michael's or Joannes. Or get a package of playdough, split it up and wrap an individual color in ribbon, one for each child. You can get cheap books at Half Price Books. You don't have to spend lots of money on fancy bags/wrapping paper/cards to accompany the gifts. Or, you can bake cookies and bring a plate of cookies as the gift. My kids favorite birthday gift, was a box of generic fruit snacks that was tied in ribbon! You can make slime, put it in a baggie. Make them 3 different colors with food coloring: http://chemistry.about.com/od/letsmakeslime/tp/slimerecip...

Or, you can regift some of the toys you child gets at his bday. I do this every year! My kids understand and don't care so long as they get to pick their favorite one to keep.

It's hard to get excited about things when you are overwhelmed, but it is also nice to be supportive, especially since she is also going through a very rough time. Remember, you chose to do the huge party despite your poor finances :) Is she attending your child's birthday?

Is she invited to your party? If not, maybe you can regift some of the gifts your son gets. If she does show up to yours, with all she has going on, and then you dont show up to hers, that will be hurtful. To save feelings, I think Dollar Store gifts are fine. One other option is to offer to help with the party decorations. Tell her you have overspent and overbooked yourself for the weekend, but she's welcome to use your party decorations for her party. That might be a big help to her.

Wow she sounds like she needs a true friend.
I would go.
I also would purchase one gift they can all play with or some sort of craft they can all do..

If you can afford a party for 45 people.. You can afford $15. gift for the family that does not even have their own home.

You will feel great that you attended for her. No regrets.

Is she a faithful friend that shows up for you?

I'd go, but stay only a short time and leave.

You might be feeling guilty because you know she would show up for you.

If you can afford a kids party for 45 people? you can afford presents for 3 kids. This is a choice you made. No one forced you to invite 45 people to a CHILD'S party...

IF she is a VERY good friend who is down on her luck - you should go...if she's just an acquaintance - you can apologize...

If she's not invited to the party on Saturday - I like what one poster said - re-gift them if they are age appropriate...

I would go. She is a FRIEND....

Since she didnt give you enough notice I would decline to go.

I would make an appearance.

Don't go. You already had your weekend planned. Stick to it. Also, with your money so tight, you might even want to rethink your son's birthday party.

I would have suggested to her to have a joint party with your child. I can't imagine she is inviting too many kids and you already have a ton, so what's a few more. That way you can both be helping at the one party on Saturday which will alleviate some stress and cost for both of you and the relaxing can begin on Saturday.

I'd go but bring inexpensive gifts. You'll find the strength to do this. You might've kept your party smaller but that's all water under the bridge now. It would be unkind of you not to go.

You call her your girlfriend but you dont seem to want to support her if it puts you out a little. If she really were your friend you'd be offering to bring food and drinks. Get your hubby to step up and take the baby for the day and help with your party. If you are that tired after having a party get your blood tested for anemia. why do you need gifts for all three kids are they all having birthdays? or just one child? It sounds like you have no idea what it's like to raise kids without a husband to help. You rely on good friends. You help her and she helps you. what's more important to you? friendship or one afternoon of rest?

That's hard... I know completely how you feel since all of our friends have their kids bday parties in june/july.. each weekend was atlest 1 or 2 parties... BUT being your friend you should go.. maybe "forget" the gift at home and give them a gift later or just say honestly you are strapped for cash at the moment but maybe can have an outing with all the kids at a later date?? If you didnt have as many friends attending your planned party would you feel disappointed if she didnt come? It is a hard question cause the last thing you want is to hurt feelings/disapoint/or be wayy run down.. make an appearance and buy the family a dvd they can watch together?? Good luck mama!

Go to the party.If you don't have the money for gifts make the kids something or tell your friend you don't have any $.

she lives 45 minutes away so she won't know you are at home resting or caring for your sick kid.

I wouldn't attend her child's bday but at the same time, sounds like you are close enough to chat about a few things. one, money is tight for both of you... how about letting her know that you care a lot about her and the kids but you don't have much money right now, in turn, if it comes up, tell her why you didn't invite her to your child's.. once people know the motivation behind one's actions, they tend to have more understanding. Additionally, I have had to do the same when it comes to Christmas gifts with our family, I finally told extended members that we no longer could do gifts for adults and would rather just buy the kids gifts ... turns out, everyone else agreed. they too wanted to save money and liked the idea of us all cutting back.. so rather than feeling guilty, which you should not.. sometimes the truth can make all the difference..

I wish you the best

I'd skip it I think. I'm really trying to teach myself that guilt in this particular form, is a useless emotion. I am one of those constantly guilty mama's who feels bad for just about everything & almosts none of it is actually in my control. I've got a couple of girlfriends who are not afflicted with the same "Yes, I aim to please others" disease I am & they don't lose any sleep at night.

If you know you're exhausted already & your party hasn't even taken place yet combined with the financial aspect of 3 extra gifts, this is just something that isn't going to work out for you. Yes, it would be nice to be able to show up for everyone & everything that is asked of you, but if you do that what's left for your family & yourself? Not a whole lot, right? I'm not saying you shouldn't do anything nice for anyone else ever, but that when you know that you're already stretched too thin as it is, cut yourself some slack.

I went through this similar a few weeks back. If you can't make it say no. As far as getting gifts wait until next payday and give a small token if it bothers you that much. Frankly, you need to be honest and limit the explanation. Oh thank you so much for the invitation but as you know it's my DS's birthday and we already have our weekend planned. Enjoy the party and we can hook-up to celebrate your kids birthday on such and such day at such and such time...etc. Tell her asap and you'll feel better. I did :)

She's having a birthday party for all three kids? Are they triplets?

You can find decent gifts at the dollar store. .

Hit the dollar store for gifts if money is tight. Sidewalk chalk, bubbles, balls, baloons, etc. I LOVE the dollar store, and unless they're teenagers and are into status gifts, they'll be happy to have presents :)