Has anyone wrote letters to their kids for certain milestones just in case? For instance like writing a letter to your child for their 16th, 21st birthday, their wedding day, etc.
I have thought of doing this, but then I think of how they change and that what I write would change as they grow older. I lost my own mother when I was very young and I think that I would have loved to read something she wrote just for me on those really special occasions.
If you did write, what do you write about?
I write a letter on my daughter's birthday, save them in a keep sake box and plan to give them to her when she's 18. I reflect on the past year, my feeling about her, her milestones, etc. Its therapeutic for me as I get emotional ever year on her birthday (how many moms don't :) and I'm hoping she'll enjoy the "letters of her life."
Yesterday I began a long letter to my children. I'm not sure when I'll be done writing it, nor when they will be ready to receive it (or if I'll give it to them).
In essence, it's the story about our life right now, through my eyes. My thought was that maybe, later in life, if they are looking for answers it might be useful to them. So that they have an easier time telling their own story.
I want them to know that no matter what they are loved. That they are deeply, deeply loved. That they are worth fighting for. That they are worthy and valuable. That my love for them is forever and eternity.
That's all. I just want them to know that.
I haven't written any letters for special occasions, but I do have "letter books" for each of them.
When it occurs to me, I write them a letter, as if I was writing a letter to a friend. I tell them what is going on in my life, what is going on in their lives, what I'm worried about, what I'm happy about. It is a snapshot of our family life, right now.
The letters are written more or less like journal entries, in pretty cloth-bound journal books. It started by accident; at the shower before my eldest was born, the hostess passed around this journal, and had everyone write their thoughts, advice, and well-wishes.
I continued on with letters, and bought another when my second child was born. I don't know when I will give it to them. When they have their own children, perhaps? I don't know. Doesn't matter - they will get them, when it feels right, or if something happens to me, whichever comes first.
I have written letters to my kids - not for future - but for the here and now.
I tell them how proud of them I am. If we have discussed an incident that one of us regrets - I tell them how I wish I would have handled it differently. I'm not perfect. Never claimed to be.
If you have a life-threatening illness - I would write letters about MY time as a 16 year old, 21 year old and my marriage....having them, etc. I would do something else though - if that were the case - I would record my messages to them. On a CD or a memory stick (as we never know what technology will be like in 5, 10, or 20 years...)...so they can SEE me as well. My possible grandchildren would be able to see me as well...hear me.
Write with your heart!!!
i agree with everyone on here. i think writing letters about the current time or what you hope to do with them on their wedding day, or how you imagine them to look is one thing but please dont write letters as if you will be gone by then. My ex's parents always told him they would be dead by certain milestones because his dad lost his mom when he was 19 so he never got past that. my ex had an unhealthy relationship with them because of this...he was so conditioned that they were going to die , he lived his life for them, and never would confront issues they caused.
My parents both lost their mom at 9 and never once mentioned dying early. i was never afraid of them dying (except my dad from drinking) and never had a warped sense of life because of it.
My ex's parents still ever time they go on vacation write letters in case they die and call all of the kids and give them instructions. some times being prepared to much leaves you being afraid to live
My father writes us letters. They are beautiful and often recount his memories of our childhood from his perspective. He didn't write them "ahead of time" because that is typically a therapy tool for those who are facing death. He writes them to us on the milestone. I have letters from my father starting on my 1st birthday, First Communion, Sweet 16, all of my graduations, my wedding day, the day each of my children were born, etc. I have kept them all and I know that my sisters have as well.
They aren't long, but they remind us that he is proud of who we have become and that he treasures his role as father and grandfather above everything else. The letters are very special and I strongly encourage anyone to do the same!
I have a book which basically is an " all about my mom" book. It lets you write things in it for your children. I write about certain things in my life, and will keep it updated as my son gets older. I fill it with pictures and momentos. It's fun. I know it will mean so much to him when he gets older.
I wrote about my upbringing, elementary-high school years, first car, kiss, relationships with friends and family. Favorite quotes.
Great idea. Also, you could have them write letters to their future selves. Anyone see the video of the kid at 11 I think it was, talking to his future self, and his now 30 year old future self talking back? It's great, look it up.
I have been writing a letter to my son on each of his birthdays and plan to do so for his sister as well. I write about what has happened in the past year, like how he's changed and fun memories. I have the letter drafted on my computer and I make notes or write parts throughout the year when I remember (eg funny quotes). I then complete and hand-write the note around his birthday and file it in a keepsake box. I hope to keep it up every year!
