Would You Trust Your Daughter with a Male Babysitter?

I would feel the same about have a male or female watch my child. It depends on the person and not the gender of the person. A women can be just as bad as a man at watching children. I would ask for references and speak to both of them. He may be better with kids then her. My grandfasther was wounderful with us.

I wouldn't judge just based on gender, but if you've actually met him and you're still uncomfortable the answer is NO.

other than my own brother, not in a million years. I dont mean to be sexist but the statistic 3 in 4 girls are touched inappropriately, molested or raped before the age of 30.....and 98% of the offenders are male....

just doesnt sit well with me, i wont offer up my daughters in the name of political correctness

not all men are pedophiles.

Poor men. They feel so ostracized these days. I look at my 60 yr old, loving, dear husband whom I know would never think twice about doing anything harmful to a little girl and know it makes him sad that he can't wink at a little girl in the cart at the market without the mommy thinking he might be a pervert. He raised his own daughter and has a granddaughter that he cherishes.
Men are profiled in the worst way. If this woman's husband was a perv do you think she would be able to work for the daycare? They do run background checks on family that lives in the home.
Come on women, please just be kinder to the elderly.... little old men don't need to be treated so shabbily.
Ask the lady how many kids and grandkids they have... I'm sure he's probably got some. Their kids may live far away and their need for "grandparenting" is being met by doing their daycare on the weekends. I think it is very sweet and will probably become a great relationship for your kids, it's always nice to have some proxy grandparents if you arent near your real ones.

i have not read any of the responses, but i wanted to let you know how i feel about this. my daughter went to a licensed daycare facility and her assitant teacher was male. he was amazing with the kids. now i'm leaving her home with my boyfriend while i go to class. i would meet the husband first, and if you don't get any red flags, i say go for it. its reasonable price, and fils your need. some men make hte best caregivers...

Did he change all his daughters' diapers?
His grandchildren's diapers?
Have you met him?
Does he seem like a nice grampa type of person?
Have you asked the mom for the phone numbers of
2-3 other moms who leave their kids with her?
I don't know what "certified provider" means in your part of the world,
but I presume it includes that the household and the people in it
have been checked out by some certifying agency
in your county or state.
Yes?
So . . . is your fear that he will touch her inappropriately?
A female care provider could do that, too.

You need to think about why you are concerned. Is it just this guy or any guy? If you are getting bad feelings about this guy, find other arrangements. If it's all guys, that's a bigger problem. Do you really think all guys might harm little girls? Following that logic we should have single sex schools, because there have been recent cases of female teachers having sex with boys. The numbers of people who do these things are relatively few compared to all the people out there. I agree with the background check. If you are still uncomfortable protect your daughter and the guy, find somewhere else. If it was my daycare and I found out you had these concerns, I wouldn't want your daughter. I would be afraid for my husband. I would be afraid of false allegations. An innocent understanding could turn into a nightmare. So think carefully about the reasons you are concerned.

My response to this is "would you trust your son with a female babysitter?" I have been babysitting for several years, using my hubby as my backup when I have to go for appts or run an errand that he cannot. As long as everything checks out with the sitter--gender should not be an issue.

I would go over there and meet them. Do a background check on ALL of them, not just the husband. There is nothing wrong with a man working in a day care/preschool. I was a preschool teacher for 5 years and I had an aide that was a 19 year old guy. He was great with the kids and they LOVED him. Just because he is a guy isn't reason for alarm. Go over there, meet them, see what kind of vibe you get from them, do some background checks. Ask for references too of former and current parents of kids they watch. If they ask why, just say you would do this for anyone who watches your kids. They are your kids and you want to make sure they are ok. You have to be comfortable with who is watching your kids. If you really have a bad feeling, then don't send them there. But, I wouldn't judge just because he is a man.

there are just as many women that are bad to kids also..i dont think it is a matter of what sex the person is who will be watching your children, but a matter of how they will care for your children.

One of my favorite babysitters is a 14 yo boy who is a neighbor. Granted, this is for my boys when my 13 yo daughter is not available. I have known him since he was born and his family, of course, so this may not apply. Since he was little, he loved babies (just like his mom).
If you do the background check, it will probably be fine. There is no way to guarantee anything, male or female. But most men are not going to do something untoward with your daughter. Just like most women would not either.

Would you let your husband or dad or brother change her diaper? Most molestations happen by someone the child knows/is related to.

I agree to do a thorough background check, follow-up with all references and pop in for little visits - but these are things I'd do regardless of the gender of the daycare providers.

Overall though, go with your instincts. If after meeting and checking them all out you're STILL uneasy about it, then it's not the right fit for your family. You want to leave your children with someone you absolutely trust - male or female. Good luck!

My In-home daycare used her husband as an assistant. He was checked out by the city and was a very nice man. I wasn't crazy about the idea for the same reasons as you, but as it turned out, he was great with the kids. A bit less motivation than the wife, but he was good. No diaper rash from sitting in wet diapers, kids were clean, home was clean, and no emotional problems from the little one.

I must admit, if it were a man that I interviewed to watch my daughter, I probably wouldn't even have met for the interview. Nothing more than my own personal choice.

So meet the male assistant and check references. If you are completely uncomfortable, don't do it. You have to be comfortable with your choice. Look his name up on the web and hers as well. People love to take time to post negative stuff. If you find nothing I would take that as just as good a sign as finding positive posts.

I say it depends on the babysitter. Check your references on the lady. If they've been there too, the husband has probably helped watch the kids. Men are dads and grandparents. They love kids and can be really fun. Growing up, my favorite elementary school teacher was a man. We have guys who teach at my elementary school, even the lower grades and they are wonderful with the kids. At my kids daycare, there was a college guy who worked with the schoolers- he was lots of fun and the kids always had fun with him. It always just depends on the person. I know some women who I would never want to watch my child.

Now, I do know how you feel. I too have watched many Nightline specials or Lifetime movies, but that doesn't mean we should be scared of guys. Creepy men, who hang around playgrounds alone staring at little children, yes, but not necessarily everyone else.

Really talk to him and check your references.

I agree with Daisey. Would NEVER allow another male to change my baby. It is too much temptation for someone that has those thoughts and you would never know because it could just be fondeling and the child would be scarred for life. I was molested as a small child and again would NEVER allow a male around my child in any kind of a childcare setting even at a church. Don't mean to scare you more but it's reality that pedophiles want jobs that give them accessibility to children. You don't know what is going on in this man's mind and the wife wouldn't know either. The man that molested me had children himself.

NO, I would not let a man watch my baby, especially a baby girl. Follow your instincts. Your instincts are telling you this is a bad idea or you would not be seeking advice. NO, don't do it.

J.G. - I'm happy to see that you decided not to put your daughter in that particular in home daycare. As for offending anyone, don't worry about that. You have EVERY RIGHT to ask this question when it comes to the care and safety of your daughter. I personally would NEVER put my daughter in a daycare where a man works because I find it extremely questionable for a man to seek employment at a daycare. And that is MY choice for my child as her parent. I don't really care who I offend when it comes to my daughter's safety. I realize that in home daycares may have husband there to help and I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with that situation either. I'm not trying to slight the husband or wife in that situation but MY responsibility is my daughter's safety just as it is yours for your daughter. People don't have to like our decisions or our reasons. My biggest reason is that child molesters come in every shape, size, gender, and age. And why take the risk? My best friend worked for a child advocacy center and you don't want your child to ever have to go what those children have been through. Its absolutely heartbreaking and will follow them and affect them for the rest of their lives. Again... why take the risk? ALWAYS listen to your gut. Especially when it comes to the safety of your family. And make no apologies for it.

No I would not be comfortable with that at all. No man should be changing your daughter besides her dad.

I would hope that you would take an hour interviewing the people that will be watching your child.
Sit and have some tea with them at the venue where your child will be watched. Look around, listen, pay attention to what you hear and see.
I would expect that they are anticipating you to ask many invasive questions if your are an alert, cautious mother.
Show them that you are.

Men and women are different,we have different feelings.Have you ever heard of women who were pedophiles? Why? I do not think you should trust a man who find it OK that he is a babysitter for a child-girl. He himself should feel not comfortable with that idea.He is a very strange person.

No. I would not let a man other than their father change any of my children's diapers (boys or girls) and would not have a male babysitter. Our church (as do many) actually has a rule that no male volunteers are allowed to change diapers. It's not that all men are evil or untrustworthy, this is just an area where I feel it's important to not allow for a situation. Trust your instincts, and you'll make the decision that is best for you and your children. Hope this is helpful, and good luck!

Absolutely NOT. You are not crazy, and you should always go with your gut. I hope you can find someone soon!

Read your update and Good for you! Trust your gut.

Personally for my daughter, NO.

I do believe you have a gut feeling about this and just need some validation that you are not wrong with your feelings.

Not all men are crusty old pervs but why take the chance?

Good for you. Going with your GUT instinct is the best defense.

I think you did the right thing. Best to trust your gut. If nothing ever happened, then nothing happens. But if something ever DID happen, you'd never be able to forgive yourself. Best to just be safe.