Would You Take Your Kindergartener to See the Play Grease?

Updated on May 20, 2011
K.D. asks from Beach Haven, NJ
29 answers

My daughter is 6 in kindergarten. She is in daisy scouts. The troop leader set up a fund raiser at a local professional theatre. The production is Grease, the tickets are 35 dollars each and at least one parent must attend with the child so that's a minimum of 70 dollars. Now only if we sell 200 tickets will the theatre then donate 1 dollar per ticket to the girl scouts. In the email that explained all this it said quote I am expecting 100 % participation. How would you feel about that? I feel like 70 dollars is a lot of money to in so many words require a family to pay to bring their child to see a play that is not age appropriate and in the hopes of maybe making 1 dollar for every 35 that we spend IF we sell 200. Which is questionable. I would not take my daughter to see Grease at her age for any price actually. But the frustrating part is that the theatre does have weekly children's productions like Cinderella, etc thatbare very well done with meet and greets with the characters after, and only xosts15 dollars, less than half the adult show price. Why they didn't choose that option i do not know. Maybe the troop,leader decided or maybe the theatre didn't mention it because theybwanted to sell her the higher priced show. Who knows. Anyway I would appreciate your opinions on this and how you would respond to the troop leaders email. Is it just me?

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So What Happened?

I talked to the troop leader and she said that it's not really a fundraiser! Our troop has to run one event per year where other troops in our region are invited. It's an event that's supposed to be for the girls with the added bonus of maybe making a few dollars too if we sell over 200 tickets. In that case I think it makes even less sense to me that she chose Grease and not the children's theatre. Other troops in our area held bingo night for 4 dollars, daddy and me dance for 5 dollars, and here we are selling tickets for Grease for 35 dollars! Oh well I was polite when I spoke to the leader, I just told her we won't be attending but that I hope it is a success. Oh well it's just one event. I guess I can't really complain if I am not going to get involved and help out in the planning of these things. We are not letting this stop us from participating in girl scouts, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks I think. Thank you all for your input it was helpful in putting the whole thing into perspective for me. I love this site what a great resource you all are!

Featured Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

This whole story actually goes against what the Girl Scouts is all about, sigh.
I'm sorry it puts you in such a spot. I'd feel the same way you do.

:(

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

I like Carrie's suggestions of donating $2.

This was not well thought out on the leader's part. Forget, for a moment, about whether Grease is age appropriate or not, this is simply way too much effort for such a small gain. I'm guessing there are not 100 girls in the Daisy Troop, so that's a lot of tickets to sell.

I wouldn't worry too much about the musical being inappropriate for her age. I don't think she would understand much of the adult content. I would actually be more afraid that she would be bored. I know my 5 year old son would be.

Sorry I don't have much advise as far as what to actually do? Maybe talk to some of the other moms and see if together you can come up with a nice way to let her know that this was not the best idea. Also, maybe each family can donate $5 or $10. See if you can raise $200 that way. Wow, that is a lot of tickets to seel!

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

My almost 6 y/o would LOVE to see Grease Live. She loves musical movies but would be thrilled to see one live. I don't see how Grease is inappropriate for that age... no actual sex, just innuendo.

I do agree maybe the troop leader could have done a more age based choice - such as more parents would take their kids to a kids show rather than a regular musical... and the price is a huge difference - but maybe the theater didn't offer that as an option.

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N.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

How about you reply with " We will not be able to participate in this fundraiser, but please keep us posted about future fundraisers" . Maybe also add "Do you think the theater would consider giving our troop a group discount for one of the children's shows, and tying that into a fundraiser for the future?"

Theater is my business, and all I can say is that his is a fundraiser for the theater and not for the troop.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

As a Girl Scout leader (not Daisies), I think the leader may be inexperienced both in fundraising and in dealing with parents where money is concerned.

Two separate issues here: The play itself and the fundraising pressure.

Girl Scouts is NOT supposed to be all about fundraising. Yes, if you want your kids to do certain things -- go camping, do crafts, have field trips -- those things do cost some money and your troop may need some fundraising. And parents, you need to be aware of that. But it should never be the focus! For those moms who posted that they had pulled their girls from Daisies because of fundraising pressure -- please shop around and find you daughter a new, more appropriate troop! Please don't deny her the GS experience because of one troop or one leader.

As for your own leader, I would just tell her you cannot make this event. You don't need to explain why. It's your family's choice. Telling parents you "expect" participation when the price tag is this high is not a good strategy.

Does this meet the GS criterial for a fundraiser? The national GS web site (www.girlscouts.org) says this (search on "troop fundraising"):

"Money earning should never be an end unto itself. Council product sales [this means cookies, GS calendars, etc.] are a program activity for girls to learn specific skills, including goal setting, sales and project management. Additional money-earning projects must be part of a plan for a specific activity. Always get council approval for any money-earning projects beyond council product sales."

The choice of play is a separate issue. I would not take my 10-year-old to see it and she hasn't seen the movie. Yeah, the music's fun, but the end message is, "Change yourself to be attractive and fit in and get the guy." Not a message that I can endorse as a parent. As for that going over 5-year-olds' heads: They start to absorb those messages much earlier than we think.

Did you and other parents go to the leader and suggest moving the whole thing to the kids' production rather than Grease? That could have helped her out if she wasn't aware or the theatre didn't tell her it also had kids' shows. I think you're right that the theatre may not do the fundraising with the lower-priced kids' shows. But it would have been a better and more appropriate day out for the girls that parents might have been willing just to pay for themselves.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Maybe the troop leader ate some weird mushrooms and has not yet come down from the trip.

off the net:

"Grease is a 1971 musical by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey. The musical is named for the 1950s United States working-class youth subculture known as the greasers. The musical, set in 1959 at fictional Rydell High School (loosely based on William Howard Taft School), follows ten working-class teenagers as they navigate the complexities of love, cars, and drive-ins. The score attempts to recreate the sounds of early rock and roll. In its record-breaking original Broadway production, Grease was a raunchy, raw, aggressive, vulgar show that since has been sanitized and tamed down by subsequent productions.[1] The show tackles such social issues as teenage pregnancy and gang violence; its themes include love, friendship, teenage rebellion, sexual exploration during adolescence, and, to some extent, class consciousness/class conflict."

I would decline to attend-try to sell the tickets-and let the "leader" know exactly why you and your daughter will not be attending.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

The leader should have sent out a feeler before arranging this to see how many parents would be willing to spend that much, or even if they wanted their child to see Grease. I haven't seen the musical, but yeah, I would imagine it's not appropriate at all for kindergarten. I still haven't let my 9 yr-old watch the movie due to the drinking, smoking, underage sex, teen pregnancy... I think you should be perfectly honest with the leader and let her know that you don't think it's age-appropriate. Don't feel obligated just because she says she expects 100% participation. You have to do what's right for your child. Perhaps offer a small donation to the troop and call it a day.

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C.W.

answers from Allentown on

I would take my 6yo, but I'm pretty liberal like that.
Since it's outside of your comfort zone, DON'T DO IT. That kind of expectation is ridiculous, and it doesn't jive with your family values. The end.

P.S. A nice touch would be to hand the leader 2 dollar bills. You know, to "earn" the kickback from the $70 tickets @@.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I like Grease, but I'm not thinking 6 yr olds is quite the audience it was intended for.

I'd say the leader is gung-ho into fund raising mode and will be pissed if/when she gets any feedback that is less than enthusiastic about her brilliant plan.

This is the reason my son didn't join scouts in our area.
When I told the scoutmaster who was trying to recruit my son that we had no one to sell popcorn to, he dropped us faster than a hot potato.
It didn't matter that I was willing to write a check for anything that would be needed. Selling pop-corn and fund raising is what that troupe is all about.
Not all troupes are like this, but there are an awful lot of them.

Telling her you will not be participating will have her labeling you as a non-team player.
If you don't tell her 'no' now, you'll do it sooner or later over something else.
Personally, I hate being set up like that so I'm careful to only join groups who's values are closer to my own.

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

We have watched the John Travolta/Olivia Newton John "Grease" movie for years in my house. I know my son saw it for the first time around that age. He was also an Andrew Lloyd Weber fanatic several productions at local casino theaters.

So, I guess I think that Grease is age appropriate - I mean, other the Rizzo's pregnancy scare, it is really a sweet play.

Anyhoo, with that being said, it does seem kinda' crazy to pay $70 dollars for a $1 donation to the troop. If the theater were giving a group, or discounted, rate to the troop, *and* kicking back a more significant donation, then I would urge you to go.

But, they really are not doing the troop any favors. I don't know how many girls are in the troop, but it might be cheaper for the families to just divide up the $200 dollars and just pay it in themselves.

Have you spoken with the troop leader about your concerns? Maybe you could spear head a fundraiser that is more lucrative for the troop.

Good Luck
God Bless

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

This is a terribly thought out fundraiser. I know that fundraising is hard, and it's tough to come up with creative ideas, but for your troop to have to buy $7000 in tickets to make $200 makes no sense whatsoever (it's a profit of <3%). The "kick back" fundraisers make sense when it's something that you would have purchased anyway. Tickets to a theater production do not fall into that category. I would definitely say something, but be tactful - perhaps send an envelope with $2 in lieu of purchasing tickets as well.

To give a quick comparison, our middle school is doing a summer reading promotion. If parents order their children's summer reading books through our PAC, we get 10% to 15% back from the bookstore. Even if we get only 20% participation, we'll earn $200, and it saves parents a trip to the store, the purchases are tax-free, and the kids have to read the books anyway. Maybe it would makes sense to suggest a different fundraiser altogether.

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T.M.

answers from Reading on

That's crazy in my opinion. I pulled my daughter out of Daisy Scouts because I didn't know it was going to be all about fundraisers. I was so frustrated because that's not what I signed up for.
Anyway, back to your question. I would not take my daughter to see Grease. I love the movie and did as a child. When I grew up and realized what the movie was really all about, I vowed to not let my children see it until they were at least teenagers and understood it.
So, I would email the leader back and tell her that you will not be participating in this particular fundraiser because you don't feel that it is age appropriate and that it is also far too expensive even if you were to participate. Ask the leader if there is an alternative in earning your daughter the badge that she would receive for doing this fundraiser.
Best of luck to you and good job sticking to your instincts.
Edit:
To Teresa S.
You may think I'm uptight and that's fine. But, I don't want my daughter running around singing "you are supreme, the chicks will cream" not knowing what that really means. Maybe you'll get a kick out of that, but not me. As a Girl Scout leader you should not be endorsing this type of fundraiser, read what Robin M. posted about describing Grease off the net. It's right on! This is not the type of play I want my daughter watching.

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A.H.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

I remember watching it when I was a little girl, and not until I watched as an adult did I realize all the "stuff" that was in it. I think it will go over the kids heads, but like one lady commented, your troop leader should have sent out a feeler first to see how many would be interested in participating. Poor decision on her part. I would go with your daughter, sometimes we have to choose our battles, you just have to consider the fall out if you don't go.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

i would take my 4 year old...she loves musicals and at that age the innappropriate comments fly right over their head....and when their old enough they don't i'll explain them
my daughter loves music, and a lof of music is based on sex,
ex. a song says baby i want to sleep with you
I ask her what its about
her answer: mommy they want to find their baby and go to sleep....

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

Hmm. I love Grease. Wouldn't care if my children saw it (too young to be a bad influence on them, it'd just go over their heads and they'd just like the music, dancing, cars...like I did until I was a senior in highschool even though I saw that movie every year for a decade, lol). However, yeah---if you've got a children's theater, it's soooo much easier and a lot better in price, seating, LENGTH OF SHOW, and more age appropriate shows. I'd push for that.
Running the numbers, I am wondering if she has a child or vested interest in this theater or production, causing a conflict of interest?

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

No I would not take my daughter, who is almost 5, because of the content of the musical. I live and breath theatre and I strive very hard to tell my daughter that some plays and musicals are not acceptable for kids, but when she is older (like 6th grade) she will be allowed to see them if she want. Now we saw Beauty and Beast, yes it can be a tad scary BUT much better choice for a 5 year old then Grease. My parents were very strict and I did not see Grease till I was in high school, now I am not going to be that strict BUT I understand that they wanted me to stay "innocent" as long as possible.

I disagree that the inappropriate comments fly right over her head, THEY DO HEAR IT, they may not understand it but I will not have my child singing Summer Nights, Look at Me I's Sandra Dee, There are Worse Things I Could Do!!!! I do NOT find it cute hearing kids sing those songs and so my daughter will not get the choice till she is in 6-8th grade AFTER we have had talks about sex and so on.

There are many other decent theatre for a child to see and as a parent I would stand up and say no. Say that you will not participate but please let you know of future fundraisers and activities. Someone below said that this is really a deal for the theatre and she is so right, you are promoting it for them and getting very low return (the theatres I have worked with would give 30-50% for each ticket sold by the group not less the 5%, which is 1.75, for each ticket only if a currant amount is sold).

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

Crazy! First of all, not a productive fund raiser! The theater makes out way better than the troop! All that work for $2oo? Secondly, the choice of play. I saw Grease as a child, and loved it! I had the sound track and sang it all the time. I had no clue what I was really singing about! I was pretty surprised when I finally figured it out! That being said, now that I have 2 girls of my own, I have struggled w/the decision. I know they would love the music and dancing, just like I did. I also know they would not get the subject matter. I have not allowed either to watch it. I just think there are some scenes that really are not appropriate and That out weighs the fun of it. Our kids get exposed to sexual content so early these days. They will see it soon enough. I'm not going to be the one to introduce it! It is up to you if you want to try to sell tickets to adult friends, but I really think the price is kind of high for a fund raising item. I think I would ask a few of the other girls mom's what they think about it, then decide if you want to mention your concerns to the troop leader. Good luck, and go w/your gut!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I took my daughter out of Daisy Scouts quickly because of stuff like this. BUT - with that being said, I would absolutely take my daughter (who is 7 - almost 8) to see Grease. I grew up watching it and am not a bad person because of it. It's not all bad stuff and fun to watch. Plus plays are so different and such an awesome experience to take kids to. So I would take her.

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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

I would go to see the play because it's a play that I love. But....I would not take my child. I would look at the whole thing a totally different way then you are looking at it. Here's how I see it.......This is a FUND RAISER not an event for the actual girl scouts. Meaning you are supposed to sell tickets to your adult friends and neighbors to raise funds for the troop. It is not necessarily for the actual scouts to go to. It's no different than if the troop was selling candles to raise some money. The parents are not expected to buy the candles and give them to the child to use. They buy them for, or sell them to, their adult friends and neighbors. Anyway, that's how I see it. Maybe I'm wrong......talk to the leader to see what she thinks.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

As a troop leader of many years, I'm more uncomfortable with the fact that she "expects 100% participation" especially because the event is so pricey, not cool! Only take your daughter if you can afford it and WANT to go.
As far as the play being age appropriate, come on! As others have said, we all saw Grease at a young age and all that stuff went over our heads. It was all about the music, the dancing and the costumes. I don't understand these moms who ADMIT they didn't understand the play until they were older and then VOW never to let their own kids see it. Seems pretty uptight to me :(

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B.

answers from Augusta on

no no no no no , I would not take a 6 yr old to see grease!
Just wait till most of the troop comes away singing the words to greased lightening. or " Tell me about it stud" .
I would email the entire troop directly polling who thinks this show is appropriate for 6 yr olds. If the rest of the parents don't have a problem with it I'd pull her from the troop. There are TONS of girl scout things to do in the area, and tons more fundraisers. If the troop leader needs ideas she needs to talk to some of the other leaders or her coordinator .
I am a trained girl scout co-leader and yes they have a TON of fundraisers because all the money for the troop comes in through fundraisers. You can't do anything unless you have the money. Look on your council website to see what cool things they are doing this summer and find something your daughter might want to do and suggest that instead.
The easiest way to influence what the troop is doing is next year, become a co leader. I say next year because this year is almost over.

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J.L.

answers from New York on

The content of the play is not the issue. The poor thought of fund-raising is. Be polite, offer the leader your $2, offer to help brainstorm for future fund-raising.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Why not have each girl's family donate $70 or just $35 to the troop...that would raise way more money than $200?

I would just give 35 dollars to the troop leader and call it a day.

6 year old and Grease...nope, wouldn't happen....not even the edited version most high school productions use...

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

I don't know why they wouldn't pick the obviously younger options, but I would totally take both of my girls (ages three and six), they love the songs when I watch the movie, which is very often! I think any opportunity to teach them myself about relationships, love, and what is appropriate is better than them learning it from someone else before I've approached the subject.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would not go. I would give them the $2 instead. ;) I would never take my children to see that production. You cannot be forced to go.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

dont go speak up sure there are other moms who fell the same

Updated

dont go speak up sure there are other moms who fell the same

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't take a 5 year old to see a play that may have cursing and that is about high school sex. Apart from that, $70 is a lot to expect and I would make a donation instead if the purpose is a fundraiser. I would have a problem with a scout leader expecting that we'd absolutely spend $70 but either way, I don't consider Grease a play for kindies.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

I would not take her. If asked why we aren't / didn't go, then I'd be straightforward and explain what you said #1, not age appropriate, #2 it's not in the budget. End of story. Sounds like a lousy "fundraiser" idea and shows questionable judgement on the part of the troop leader.

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