IT'S FINE! They will only see it as "weird" when you tell them to, or they become old enough to realize that they don't want to wear it anymore! I run a home daycare and I think most of my younger boys have come w/ polish on their toes at one point or another! It's not a big deal! There are enough other things to worry about that are actual concerns! Why not have some fun?
When my son was about 3, he wanted his toe nails painted, too.
But I didn't want him to be picked on because of it.
It was near Halloween and they were selling glow in the dark nail polish.
You can't even see it in the day light, there's no color to it and only glows when you shine a bright light on it for awhile.
So I painted his toes. then we had great fun shining a bright flash light on his toes and watching them glow while he kicked his feet around in the dark.
He got bored with it fairly quickly and never wanted his nails painted again.
Here goes 8kidsdad again, saying that the easiest job he ever had was taking care of the house and all his kids. He did it for 11 days so his wife could finally visit her mother, and had the whole household set up for him. And he sticks it in this thread. Why? He just said not to blur the gender roles. Is he saying that painting your son's nails will turn him into a stay at home dad? If that is so bad, why does he talk about how easy it is to take care of kids? Does he think men are beneath staying home with children fulltime? Is he making fun of stay at home moms because he thinks our jobs are nothing? Why is he so afraid of how mothers raise their sons?
My husband and half of his friends are musicians. Not only could *I* paint my son's nails with impunity, I've come home to find big, strong, athletic guys debating color choices with my son... and other friends (drama types) using eyeliner on his nostrils or great big poofs & powder to pretend "photo shoot" him up.
If I come home and there's makeup on my son, it's pretty easy to tell who has been over. Dark eyeliner and pixie dust glitter = musicians, light eyeliner (taupish, along with other feature highlights that you don't notice unless you're looking for it) and perfect skin = actors.
Mostly, though... he's covered in a not so fine layer of grit, grass, and mud.
I would and I have. There's no harm in it!
It's funny what people will come up with to fuss about over the generations.
Some of the scandalous things that society would tsk about include:
Men NOT powdering their wigs
Organ music being introduced to the church (funny how times change, but people really did think that organs only were appropriate in places of "ill repute")
Changing out of long underwear before July
Women wearing pants or driving cars
But now, we have the worst of the worst! Boys wanting to play with dolls and have the occasional nail painted! Oh the HORROR and DEPRAVITY! What will become of us???????
I can think of much worse things. 80's hair and jeans pinned at the cuffs come to mind............ Now those were atrocities!
I do it all the time. Your little guy will grow out of it. My son still wants his toenails painted and he starts 1st grade this fall, however, there are times now when we go to the park or to the pool that he worries that friends will see him and make fun of his toenails.
He also plays barbies and fairies with his sister, plays dress up in dresses AND batman and spiderman costumes, helps me cook, plays ninja legos, makes ANYTHING into a gun or weapon, rides his bike like a madman, jumps off the high dive at the pool. Kids are only little once. They have their whole lives to conform to societal pressure.
I don't understand why people are so overly concerned with "blurring" gender roles. First of all it's toenail polish. Heaven forbid if you daughter ever wants to play with trucks!! (Gasp!!!)
Wouldn't life be more simple, if we could determine our kid's sexual orientation and how they relate to their gender with NAIL POLISH?
We can't. If your/my child is going to be gay/trans/gender queer/etc, that's just how it is. Nothing I can do, but love 'em through it. Most likely (statistically), my two little girls will be straight, and female identified. Same goes for your little man.
It's toe nail polish. Simple. As. That.
I let my girls wear boy clothes, climb trees, get muddy, play dragon and monster (we're big fans), zoom their trucks and race cars around, and wrestle (gently and listening for the word NO) together. No big deal.
I hope that if I had a boy, I would hold myself to the same standard and let him be a kid. I think it's harder for parents of boys, 'cause you get more flack for letting your kids be kids. ("your going to turn him gay!!!!" "he's going to be a wussy!!!!!" He'll be a woman!!!!!) Ummmm, okay?
Stick with what you know in your heart. I know you will ;-)
Yep! Already did it a couple of times. My son is 3.5 and loves everything whether our society has deemed it for boys...or girls! I came home one day from getting a mani/pedi and he looked at my bright pink toes and said,"Ooh. I would like my toes painted red, please." I told him it was sort of a girl thing and he whined and said, "OHHHH, MANNNNN!" LOL
When I painted my daughter's toes a pale pink I couldn't help but do his too. My husband didn't care for it when he saw our son's toes later, but I figure what other time in your life can you bend all the gender rules and everyone will accept it as cute? I think it is healthy for kids to express themselves any way they wish when it comes to the gender roles. I don't think it is encouraging gender confusion. I think it teaches kids they don't need to be shameful for wearing a certain color or enjoying a certain activity that may be labeled by society for the opposite gender. My daughter walks around with a purse filled with matchbox cars! LOL
I personally don't thnk it's a big deal either. He just wants to be included. But...don't turn an innocent thing like this into an issue between you and your husband. If he feels so strongly about not painting your son's nails, then respect his opinion and don't do it. Two yesses or one no type of a deal. He has reasons that are important to him, so respecting this (and NOT doing it) would be important to him to. Why not offer your son a great alternative...like panting his face as his favorite animal, or drawing a picture on his hand? Really painting his nails isn't as big of an issue as disregarding your husband's feelings about it.
When I was painting my daughters nails black one day this summer, my son said, I want mine done too! (He's 8). So I said ok, and painted all of his FINGERNALS black. He thought it was so cool. and when hubby came home, my son showed him and hubby said cool. So who cares? And since then he hasn't asked for them to be painted again so they probably just want to see what its like and be done with it.
Sure. I don't see the harm. Nor do I see the harm in letting him wear a pink party hat (DD's friend's favorite color is pink right now) if he wanted. I think also what you describe his him identifying with the people around him. If my DD sees people do something, she wants in, too. It isn't any more wrong to paint your son's toes than it is to allow my DD to lather up her face with shaving cream and "shave". I did that as a little girl, too.
I haven't ever painted my son's nails but I have given him a "baby pedicure". He's 20 mo., if he sees me filing my nails he comes over and climbs up on my lap and sticks out his foot for me to do his nails. It really makes him laugh, it's the cutest thing!
I have painted my sons nails lots of times when he saw me painting mine...I don't see a big deal and neither does my husband...they are kids! It's like saying it's wrong for a boy to play with dolls or a girl to play with trucks
I used to paint my little brothers toe nails because he would beg me too. Now he is 17 and as far as I know, has not painted his nails/asked for them to be painted since I moved out 12 years ago. It's a phase and it doesn't mean anything!
One hand sometimes is "Mater" brown and the other hand is "McQueen" red. When left alone with his markers his FEET not just his nails have been MANY glorious colors in the last year. I have fantastic pictures for his wedding montage in another 20-25 years!
I DO draw the line at using MY OPI nail polish. THAT'S ALL MINE! :)
Btw, willing to BET most of his favorite athletes/actors have had both mani and pedi's done.
I would just tell my son that's for girls like skirts and longer hair and jewelry. He would understand and I don't think it would be a huge issue. Kids can and should have limits.
Edit: I don't think its wrong, I just think its non-issue.
Yes I did when my son was little. Yes he played with cars, trucks, boats, and barbie dolls. He also played and still plays every sport known to mankind, including rugby.
And he has seen his grandpa(my dad) get weekly manicures.
Children play in all different ways. They engage imagination which is healthy. I'd rather see him getting his nails painted cool colors and playing that way than staring at a computer screen all day! No harm done
Yup I have painted all 4 of my boys finger nails and toe nails. Plus I have put make up on all of them. They have all played with dolls/ barbies. I do draw the line at dresses. But I do laugh pretty good when my 4yr old comes down after putting on one of the dress up dresses or his sisters dress and has a big goofy hat and a purse over his shoulder. Its all about exploring and wanting to be like mommy. Its a phase and by 5 my 3 older boys were out of it.
My ex HATED it. My hubby now just tells him he looks good bud.
My husband had the exact same reaction when he saw my 3 yr old & 22 month old's toes painted a month ago. My 3 year old really really wanted to be a 'girl' and have his 'nails painted too'! At first I kept telling him he doesn't need it, this is not for boys etc, but finally said who cares and did it. Then my 22 month old came up and stuck his toes out too, I find it funny and cute, husband not so much! Then again it was bright pink, but they boys were so excited, how could I not? I would do it again in a heartbeat and probably will tell my hubby to get over it, they're still so innocent why not let them have a little joy with cool looking toe nails! I like the other mamas suggestions of using boyish colors-- think I might go and invest in some 'manly' colors for next time:)
How does your husband feel about all the male rock stars,punks and etc that paint their nails? Most often black but they still paint them or pay someone to do it. LOL
I have two boys and if they asked I would and not think twice about it.
I have painted our son's nail many times. With clear nail polish and let him put som fruit or (gender neutral) stickers in top for decoration. he loves it! My husban is o.k. with it because for the most part you can not see it and it never really lasts more then a day or two. My son is now 4 and unless we paint while he is gone...he gets it done also!
Yes I have with both my boys at about 3 or 4. To me it is only a big deal if you make it a big deal. At this age they don't know gender roles and to be honest I wish they never did. It is so sad when they start haveing to be "little men". That said my girls could be a princess or a tomboy as long as they are happy. As my 3 year old girl says she is a "princess that wrestles".
lol! My 4 year old son just painted his own toe nails by himself. I noticed it got really quiet in the house and I went to go look for him and I found him in his sisters room, just COVERED in nail polish! I mean, he put it on his cheeks, arms, legs, toe nails, and finger nails. I was mad at first, but then I just had to take a picture of him. I am laughing about it now. He looks up to his big sister (age 6), and when he sees me paint her nails, he wants to also. I don't really care. My husband doesn't care either.
Honestly.....nah. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but I would laugh it off and not paint them. I'd just laugh and say "hold on a second---let me make your sister all pretty!" and then I'd put pirate makeup (a moustache and scar with some eye makeup?) on my son with some eye makeup afterwards. I'm generally pretty laid back (a little baby doll to learn how to be careful with his baby brother when I was pregnant and he was 2, or not worrying if my son chose a pink pacifier when he was 1, or painting his room yellow at his request). Like I said, if he wants a turn with some makeup (meaning he wants attention and to look different too....a little girl gets makeup to look like a "grown up girl" then I wouldn't have a problem letting my son look like a "grown up boy" and sport a moustach or even a goatee, and a scar because all boys like scars...or maybe a tattoo, either painted on or one of those stick on ones). That'd be a compromise everyone could live with.
And I absolutely WOULD have a problem with the "do it, but take it off before the husband comes home" thing, because they are teaching their kids to sneak and do things that a parent doesn't like....just don't get caught. Well, that kind of attitude can open a can of worms later and bite you in the bum.
I LOVE B's answer with the glow in the dark paint. That sounds fun; I'll keep my eye out for that during halloween season. :)
I paint a big toe like you do when my son asks and I use a "boy color" I don't see the big deal. I'm divorced to avoid catching hell from his dad I alot of the times remove it before he goes to see him..
My 3 year old asks for me to paint his toes whenever I paint mine, but he said pink polish is for girls. So we found a very sheer blue color, it's almost clear, and he's happy with that. You can't see it unless you look really close!
At your son's age, I say NORMAL. He's still a baby. He's curious. He sees that you and big sisters are doing it. Why can't he? It's on his toes, so perfectly fine. Fingers I may say weird. You're choosing non-girly-colors, so you are doing fine.
If it were my 3 yr old requesting it, I would say "No honey, this is just for girls" just like I tell him when he asks what my lipstick is, or my perfume, or similar product.
(And tell your husband that if it were my husband, he'd flip out too. I think it's part of a man not wanting his child to be 'turned gay.' Guys want their boys to be the total image of masculinity.)
I paint them for him. It is easier than arguing. My husband just rolls his eyes. Painting toes won't turn him gay. the only thing I have worried about is friends teasing him. But I don't think this is a big deal. Making a fuss will only make him want it more.
Ummmm YES, and I have with BOTH boys....if the color bothers you so much...use clear...I know grown men who get manicures and pedicures...it is No Big Deal, when you make it a big deal then it becomes one.
I painted one of my boys toenails red or blue every now and then, it usually comes right off in a few days they are not very careful. I know it will sound crazy but it makes me insane when my mother does it- she will also spray perfume or put make up on my boys the be all end all was the day she curled my sons hair that did not end well. But to be honest my mother has absolutely no idea how to raise or relate to boys.
I had the same response from my husband! Our friends who live next door have a daughter and we were visiting while the mom painted the girls toes. She had "pretty toes" and Michael wanted pretty toes too. Later that evening I pulled out the stuff to do my toes and again Michael wanted pretty toes. I found the most boyish color I had and painted his big toes. He was so happy and thrilled to have "pretty toes", he couldn't wait to show his little girl friend! Dad was not so happy and thrilled but to see the excitement in Michael's eyes... priceless! I haven't done it again, but if he asked, I probably would.
My older son is 3 1/2 and I've been having this same argument with my husband for about 2 years now. When my son sees me paint my nails he always asks to have his done as well. I have a bottle of peacock blue polish and I do his toes when he asks. I don't think its a big deal at all, especially at this age. My husband disagrees.
Last month I did paint the boy's fingernails in alternating red and blue (at his request) for the 4th of July, and he loved it for about 3 days, then he asked to have it taken off. I just can't see what there is to get worked up about.
Tell your husband my husband is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant. He has no problem at all with my 3 yr. old son's toenails getting painted or with him wearing his sister's tutus and princess shoes and playing with his sister's princess castle and pretending to be Tinkerbell, YES, TINKERBELL! (And, no, we have no intentions of teaching our son anything other than biblical commands regarding sexuality when the time comes.)
And in case your husband is wondering about my husband's "manliness", I once saw a Corporal get chewed out by my husband for engaging in very unbecoming behavior. He was so petrified I wouldn't have been surprised if the guy had wet his pants!