Would You Let Your 6-7 Year Old Go to a Slumber Party?

Updated on November 25, 2011
M.. asks from Detroit, MI
43 answers

I am trying to plan a party for my daughter. I just want to do a good ol fashion slumber party with some of her close friends and ALL the girls in her class. She really wants to invite some girls from school, and I told her all or nothing. She cannot leave any girls out.
This year I havent met a lot of parents, so the majority of them dont know me. I know I wouldnt be comfortable dropping my daughter off to spend the night at someones house I didnt know. But, Im kind of dramatic, so Im just curious how others feel about it? You would let your kid go and spend the night?
Any advice is appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Ok, thanks for all the input. I think I will just do a "PJ Party" from like 6pm-10pm?? And put on the invite they are welcome to spend the night if they wish.

I was just going to invite her girls in her class, which there are 10, and I figure half wont show up, so I was thinking that wouldnt be too many. I just think its a little snotty to invite some girls and leave others out. Thats just my opinion. I dont want anyone feeling left out or excluded.

Believe it or not, Im trying to keep this birthday party simple. Most parties we have at a venue runs us about $200+ and Im ovvvvver it!

I figured I could order a couple pizzas, cute cake, some games and call it a day!

I did a slumber party for her softball team last year and it turned out awesome! SO much fun!

Thanks again!

Featured Answers

M.L.

answers from Houston on

No I wouldn't let her sleep over. But I would let her go and maybe pick her up around 8 or 9 pm (or earlier depending on what we work out). Perhaps you can word that on the invitation, so that parents who are anti sleeping over still feel like their daughters can attend and that there is a pick up time without them feeling awkward and having to say no.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am with you. I wouldn't let him sleep over at a family's house that I didn't know very well. I would let my son go if I was close friends with the family. Otherwise, no, I wouldn't let him go.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

I have a six-and-a-half year old and she has been to two sleepovers. Her first was at a neighbor's that I know pretty well, and the second was at someone's house I was acquaintances with. I know know her pretty well. At the time I knew some of the other moms whose girls were attending, and some of them knew the mom whose house it was at. I decided to let her and she LOVED it. She now wants a sleepover for her seventh birthday. She has never attended a sleepover with a whole class full of girls, though!

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Never. Not at 6 or 7, but then again, not at 12-13 either. They can have a party, go to it and stay until bedtime, but my girls will not be spending the night with a family we don't know very, very well. Even then, it is a rare thing that we would allow it. I would probably have the party, maybe have them make personal pizzas (they love to put their own toppings on), have snacks, do something creative, etc. But, then send them home. You can do it in the afternoon or evening.

The thing is, I don't know what goes on in other people's homes. I don't know what habits they have, what my children might be exposed to or subjected to. It isn't worth it to me to risk their innocence for a birthday party. It just isn't. Once you lose it, it is gone forever. We treasure them too much.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

No. Especially, not with someone I don't know. I couldn't do that.

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⊱.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a 6 yo and I personally wouldn't. But my SIL threw a slumber party for her 6 yo and had a good turnout, so go figure. I was really surprised to hear that, too. She told me that she didn't know most of the parents, either, but talked to them on the phone. Odd.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Nope. If I don't know you I am not leaving her at your home at all, I would attend the party with her and they we'd leave together.

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

*Sigh* I'd have to say, no.
I sigh because it's really too bad.
But I'm not a kid anymore-I'm the mom. And I have to make those stinky decisions.
If I knew you and your DH well and it was just your kids...that might be a different story. I might say yes. (Though truthfully DD won't even stay the night at her g-parents house right now.)

We have been having a ongoing problem w/ our DD's cousin being exposed to something (or many things) inappropriate. :(
I cannot leave her alone w/ DD for more than a few minutes.
It has really opened my eyes/changed my perspective as to just how protective I need to be of my innocent 6 yo..
Like I said...it's very unfortunate.
But reality.

Lol. Hope that makes sense...I need to go to bed. :P

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

No.

The rule of thumb is to invite the number of girls as per her age. 6 girls for a 6 yr old- for a regular birthday party. A slumber party is a whole nother animal. She is WAY to young for a large slumber party and you are certain to experience some grief at some point in the night. Twenty or thirty 6 yr old drama queens, who don't know eachother all that well, stuck together for hours,upon hours, upon hours. Some will cry and miss thier moms. Others will be bullys, and some will surely feel left out. Anxiety will occur and rear it's ugly head, most likely in petty fights. How on earth can your daughter entertain all those kids. If you gave her a choice, she would probably only pick a couple of her best pals. What is so wrong with that? Why should she be forced to have people at her birthday party that she doesnt care for? That would be like someone forcing you to invite hoards of people to your wedding because someone might be offended for not being on the list. ???? I dont understand the new mentality that you have to invite the entire world to a party. Then it becomes superficial, and, sad.

What I do with my own young kids, is invite 2-3 of their very best pals, to go on an outing with us, come back home , have cake, and spend the night.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

at this age, no. I would have to know the parents.

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

I wouldn't let my child spend the night at that age either. Especially if I didn't know the parents well. I would be ok with letting my child stay for a few hours, though, I suppose. My son is having his 4th birthday party on Dec. 2nd. We are having a pajama party in which all of his friends are coming over in the "dark time" in their pajamas because he thinks that is a beyond crazy cool idea! :-)
They will be here for an hour and a half and parents are invited of course. You could do something similar. Have the parents drop their kids off, girls come dressed in their pj's, have pizza, watch a movie, do a craft or play games for 3 or 4 hours. Outline the agenda in the invitation so parents know what the plan is. I think that would make them feel more confident about letting their child attend your party. Good luck and have fun!
A.

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S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

i would not at that age. But staying late and coming to pick them up at 9 is reasonable.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

First of all, if it were my daughter, I would not make her invite every girl in the class (which it sounds like that is what you are doing). Just my opinion - she may not be friends with all of the girls. She can invite only her friends but do so outside of school.

I know you did ask about that specifically so I will answer your question (hehe). If my daughter were invited to a classmates house for a sleepover and I had never met the parents, I would not let her spend the night (same with my son). I would offer to go over with her and sit with the parents for a few hours to get to know them and then take her home with me. After a few playdates and getting to know the parents, then I would make a determination.

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

I would allow it if my daughter wanted to go, when dropping her off I would meet the parents and make sure they had my number and knew that they could call me no matter what time of the night it is. I think we, as a society are gettign too paranoid and taking all the fun out of childhood.

I had a slumber party for my daughter's 6th birthday and we invited 6 but only 3 were allowed to stay, I set up a tent in the back yard but they only lasted an hour out there, I ended up sleeping on the couch with them on the living room floor. At about 1 in the morning one of the girls needed to call home (she had never stayed away before and was crying) so we called home and her dad came and picked her up. No big deal, everyone had a good time (even the girl that left)

Make sure you have a pick up time on the invites or the parents that are on the fence will be at your house at 6 am...good luck I hope it works out for you.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I, since my daughter was 8... had sleep overs for her. At our home.
It was... only her close friends.... and thus kids that I know well and know their parents, well. VERY, well.
So, it was no problem.
I let my daughter.... decide... who to invite and how many.
She kept it to about 5 girls.
She did not want to invite a whole bunch of girls.
Only her close friends.
And I know their parents, VERY well.
The girls came over at the designated time.
I instructed the parents to make sure they are BATHED before hand. Before coming over.
We had food and the girls just had their own activities they wanted to do... it was fine.
They went to bed, late.
Like midnight.
I knew they would.
It was fine.
Its a sleep over.
The Moms were fine with that.
The next morning they woke up.
I made breakfast that my daughter chose and which she KNEW her friends, would like.
1 girl had nut allergies. So I took note of that and planned food appropriately.
They were all very self-reliant. No issues.
IF the girls wanted to, I let them call their parents ANY time.. .and told them to wake me up at ANY time, if they needed me. Even if it is 2:00am. They can wake me.
I slept on a sofa... nearby... but far enough for their privacy and I could hear them. I didn't get sleep either, because I kept my ears open for them. And I also checked up on them, during the night.
I also gave, each one of them flashlights to keep near them. I also had throughout the house, night-lights everywhere.

Personally, I would not, invite an entire class of kids, for a sleep-over.

And, if my daughter were invited to a sleep-over, to a child's party/home that I did NOT know, nor know their parents... I would not, let her go.
My daughter has gone to sleep-overs... a couple times. But it was to her GOOD friend's home.. in which I KNOW the parents, very well.

Just as an aside: a woman told me that her 12 year old niece, went to a sleep over once. At night, there were other adults there. They didn't know that. The parents were not told. Then during the night, as the girls slept in a side room... one of the men... went up to her and started touching her.
Yep.
You never know... what happens at a sleep over, or who will be there, or what the other adults are doing... or what the level of SUPERVISION is... at the sleep over. UNLESS... you know the child and the family/parents... very well.
AND you call them, anytime and they welcome that.

I would, NEVER let a 6-7 year old, go to a sleep over.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I would let my daughter sleep over ONLY if I knew the parents. AND, I suggest to limit the number of friends for that. So many girls will be a mess for you and you'll have more than one girl in tears. We let our daughter have 8 friends for her 6th birthday and it was kind of a mess. We only do one at a time now!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

When my daughter was that age, I'd have been fine with her attending a slumber party, but not if I had never met the mother - and I'm not dramatic or overprotective. But that's fine because at that age, you don't need 11 girls at a slumber party, 4 or 5 would be fine and manageable.
Since it looks like the majority of moms here would not allow it, I would not plan that type of party, because it will be very sad and disappointing to the first graders - when kids that age receive a party invitation, they assume they will be going. And a sleepover - how exciting! Imagine their devastation when mom says that they cannot go. Only do a slumber party if you are inviting a few close friends, whose parents know you.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I would have my child invite his 3-4 closest friends. That is what I suggest you have your daughter do for her birthday. That will make it much more manageable too. I would have my son only invite the kids who we know well and we know their parents well. Yes, my 7 year old son has gone to a birthday slumber party but it was at his best friend's house and we are very good friends with his parents. No, I would not let him go to someone's house that I did not know at all.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

No way, she's too young.
I wouldn't trust anyone's care at that age.
I think 13 is more age appropriate.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

Not sure why you are inviting the whole class. Your daughter might not be friends with all the girls. I have to think that no parent would send their daughter to someone's home, least of all overnight unless you had met before and had some sort of friendship. I know I wouldn't. If you don't want to leave anyone out, how about a party at Chucky Cheese or at the Emagine Theater...then the overnight for only her best 2 or 3 friends.

x

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Do a "pajama party" sort of the beginning of the slumber party but then the girls all go home about 10pm. they bring sleeping bags and come in pj's. watch movies, paint toenails etc. munch on fun foods and just in general have fun but you send them all except maybe the very best friend home.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yes, if, I knew the parents and our daughter wanted to sleep over.

She did not want to sleep over at other houses till the summer after second grade. I just followed her lead.

Maybe you could do a Pajama party.. the girls attend and party in their PJ's but not sleep over...

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C.F.

answers from Portland on

As long as I met you and saw the inside of your house and met your whole family (husband, kids) I would be fine with it.

But without doing that, no, not at 6 or 7.

If she were 10 or 11 or older I would probably be ok with just talking to you on the phone.

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A.F.

answers from Houston on

What about a normal birthday party for everyone and then invite one or two to stay the night? Or, you could invite all to stay the night and encourage the parents to stay for the normal, earlier birthday party so they can get to know you.

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J.W.

answers from Fayetteville on

I most likely would but, I would talk the mom first. I admire the fact that you are teaching your daughter to include all of the little girls. If you wanted to take it a step further... Most teachers will give parents the phone numbers of other parents in the class. Especially for something like this. My rule with my girls has always been that if someone asks them to a birthday party, they have to go. At first when they were younger they would protest at times that they didn't know the child very well. I told them no exceptions. They have stopped protesting and happily go off to every bithday party a class mate has invited them too. Sadly on at least five different occasions my daugter was the only one to show up. One little girls mom had even rented out and entire skating rink! When ever something like this happens my daughters always come home and tell me how glad they are that we have this rule. Now often these are not slumber partys but sometimes they are. Good luck and God bless you for looking out for all of the little children,

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

If my daughter was only 6 or 7, I would only allow a sleepover if it was a really close friend and I knew the parents really well (as in, I am actually friends with them too, instead of just the girls being friends). If you are determined to invite every girl in her class, no way would I do a sleepover - that's (I'm assuming) way too many kids to have overnight. Either do a regular daytime b-day party if there's going to be lots of kids, or a sleepover with 2 or 3 select friends. My first slumber party was when I was 7 and in 2nd grade and there were maybe 5 or 6 girls total there (friends from school, but not every girl in the class). The moms hung out for a couple of hours with the host mom and then picked us up in the morning.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

My oldest is only 5.5 but I suspect that a lot of 6-7 year olds aren't ready for a sleep over and a lot of parents wouldn't let their child go unless it was a family the parents also know well. My kids only sleep over at their grandparents at this age. If I recall correctly from when I was a kid I only had sleepovers with my best friend for several years (starting at about 2nd grade) and big group sleepovers were more popular from 5th or 6th grade and in middle school.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

NO. Not if I didn't know you very well. The only place I have let my daughter (who is now 10) sleep over (besides family, of course) was with her closest friend, who also happened to be our pastor's daughter. And our pastor and my husband are fairly tight, too. As well as me and mom. And both my kids (girl and boy) were good friends with all their kids (they had 4 at the time, all younger than my oldest). Actually, BOTH my kids slept over there when they were smaller. As they aged, though, we stopped letting my son sleep over. They only had girls.
But friends from school? Nope. Not if I'd never met their Dad, or whatever male figure was living in the house. And especially not if I didn't know the family fairly well in general... Not at 6-7 years old, no WAY.

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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

no way unless we are CLOSE friends....my opinion is to pick something else to do!!!

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P.E.

answers from Grand Rapids on

No. I don't want my daughter going to these at all. With my work schedule and her busy school schedule I don't want one of our weekend days ruined becauses she is crabby and tired from not getting enough sleep the night before. Also, if I just say no now it will be easier to say no when she is older...when I really don't want her going. Unfortunately, for my daughter, I was just naughty enough as a teen to know that she will not be doing any sleepovers.
And to top it all off there are sex offenders everywhere. So sad.

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

When my daughter turned six I had a sleep over with about 6 girls and it turned out fine. May be you could put a little note in the invite saying you understand that some may not be able to spend the night but they are still welcome to come and leave early. That way if any parents have worries they can still come but not spend the night. When my daughter turned 12 one of her friends since grade school still could not stay all night, but Mom picked her up at 11 and it worked out great.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Yes. I was a room mother at school so the kids all knew me, the teacher knew me and I had met many of the other parents. There kids came to my house, my kids went to their houses. There were a couple of parents that had some issues even though they were nice people and I didn't let my kids stay the night, but for the most part, things were fine.
I would invite the parents to come to your home to meet you before the party. Let them see your home, introduce yourself. It doesn't have to be anything formal. Extend the invitation. I agree with inviting all the girls, but you should know that some of the parents will say no (no reflection on you) because their child has never been away from them before or has weird sleep habits, etc. That's okay.
I have a daughter and a son and they both had slumber parties. I never had any problems at all. But, not all kids invited were able to attend and that was okay too.
Do what you can to meet the parents and then go from there.
If you only end up having a few girls it's easier to manage.
It seems to me that's the worst that could happen.

Best wishes.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

I think a slumber party at that age with more than 4-5 girls would be crazy. I have two girls and at that age I would not let them spend the night at a friends house where I had never met the parents. I have nothing against slumber parties in general but you might find 6 a little young. If the kids don't know you and your house well some kids will not be comfortable in the middle of the night, there maybe even be tears.
When you say the whole class and then a few more friends are you talking about 15 or more girls? I just think that's crazy, way too many children. Have her invite 5-6 close friends whose parents know you and enjoy yourselves. Slumber parties can be so much fun but don't bite off more than you can chew on the first try!

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i went to slumber parties at that age. what i would do is have each parent write down a contact number in case their child gets scared, sick etc so you can call them if need be. i would be willing to let my daughter spend the night at a friend home where i knew the parents well and she was comfortable there. my daughter is 4 and had a friend sleep over the night before a party and it was a little rough and the little girl needed a reassuring call from mom and was ok :) i think it all depends on their comfort level. the worst a parent can say is no thank you. maybe make it a pajama party and if the child would like to stay the night then let them.

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T.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Seems a bit young, but that is just my opinion. Our 8 1/2 year old doesn't want to do sleepovers yet....thankfully. I'm just not ready for that yet.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

My advice is to invite those that want to stay over that they can and if the others want to come and then get picked up late in the evening, the parents may be more apt to go for that. GL
But personally, I couldn't leave my child at anyone's house overnight or even during the day unless I knew them, their background etc.
M

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M.L.

answers from San Antonio on

No. I won't let my 10 year old do slumber parties.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If I knew the parents, I would.
All you can do is invite all of the girls and most likely, her best friends, that probably know you best will stay over.
You can always have an option for a "late" pick up for any that aren't staying.

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 6 year old daughter and no I would not let her sleep at a friends house just yet. Grandma's, totally fine, but not a friends house. I was thinking maybe when she is 10, if she wanted she could have a slumber party, but right now, is just too young

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M.F.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I would not let my child spend the night, at someone's home I did not know. They maybe able to go over for a little while in the evening, but not for the whole night. There are just to many weird things going on in the world today.

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M.Q.

answers from Detroit on

No. Not at all. I agree w/what momofmany said.

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

My son just learned to walk, so we won't have to worry about this for a while, but I will give you a suggestion based on my experiences as a little girl. I would go for sleep overs at one of my friends house all of the time, but when there was a big party sleep over, her parents always made it clear that the parents were welcome to stay as long as they like. Parents would hang out and socialize, eat pizza or hot dogs and participate in the relay races etc. Some parents would leave right away, and others would linger around, but I think it makes parents feel much more comfortable. Plus, there is still an option to just stay for the party fun and leave before bedtime, if the comfort level isn't there.

Added: these sleepover were for girls who were even older (10/11 years old)

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

No worries at all IF I knew the parents (didn't have to be friends or close, just 'know' them, and have been to their house/apt). Strangers? Nothing doing.

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