Would You Go Out with Your Ex's New Girlfriend.

Updated on August 26, 2016
C.G. asks from Philadelphia, PA
11 answers

Should I go with my ex girlfriend because she is doing for our daughter.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Did you ever find a therapist? You have asked us if it is okay to sleep with this boyfriend when he comes around. Why am I losing men to my friends. Now should we hang out? Please, find a therapist. You have very low self esteem.

6 moms found this helpful

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

If it were me (you slept with your ex while he was with her didn't you?) I'd likely steer clear. That's just me though.

ETA: Omg laughing - Wild Woman that's what I thought too. Sorry C., don't mean to be disrespectful but it was a hard to read question. I only clued in when I read the other moms' responses.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Why would you want to go out with your ex's girlfriend? Has she or your ex asked you to go out? If so, why? Are you asking about a one time event or to be good, bff, friends? Does going out include taking children to the zoo or someplace in which your kids are the focus?

If the reason you're thinking about doing this is related to feeling she will treat your daughter better, it's more likely that the two of you will not always get along. Then your child is caught in yhe middle.

The best relationship for taking care of kids in a divorce is to be casually friendly and keep a distance between you. Answer her questions about your children. If together at a school event, make small talk. Being friends has many risks. Your relationship will not run smoothly. Are you not upset with her being in your husband's life? You continued a sexual relationship with her boyfriend. She won't like that. I see no reasons to be friends and dozens to not being friends. I go out with friends.

This is a situation in which keeping the relationship simple is most helpful. Drama is not good for your child or for you.

6 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

No. I'd keep clear boundaries. I wouldn't purposely socialize with your ex's girlfriend. However, if you happen to encounter her, at your daughter's school events or at a family get-together, I would be very polite, courteous, and demonstrate to your daughter that you can be kind, and you have your daughter's best interests at heart.

6 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Boston on

Nope. You don't need to befriend his girlfriend because there's always that chance that they won't work out and then you'll have to befriend another girlfriend down the road. Just be nice and let her know that you appreciate everything she does for your child and leave it at that.

5 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm sorry - I can't understand your incoherent question.

I'll go by the post that you are a lesbian. And she is dating someone new and you want to go out with her? HUH?

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

what a weird question.
go out with her where? to your daughter's dance recital or out drinking?
has she asked you to go out with her?
do you like her?
??
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

There's not nearly enough info here - no one knows what you mean.

If you mean, should you have a cordial relationship with your ex's current girlfriend (he's your daughter's father, and this is his girlfriend), then yes. But that doesn't mean having social events, going to the movies, or palling around as girlfriends. Moreover, your last questions related to sleeping with your ex even though he is with someone else, a woman who doesn't know you are sleeping with him. So, if you feel you need to meet with her to discuss the fact that you are both at risk for sexually transmitted diseases because you are, by definition, sleeping with all her prior boyfriends (at least their infections) and she has no idea that you are sleeping with her man, and perhaps you want to go get tested together for sexually-transmitted diseases/infections, that's one thing. But if you think you are going to be friends with her and that somehow that will get you closer to your ex (because, what? If the girlfriend likes you, he will want you back?), then no, this is a terrible idea. And if you think she wants parenting advice from you relative to your daughter, I'd say that's a "no" as well. It's up to your ex to parent your child, and for his girlfriend to follow his lead. But again, I have no idea what you're really looking for, so maybe it's something else other than what I've covered.

Please don't post any more questions without info though - you'll get only info that is a complete guess, and it won't be relevant or helpful at all.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Your question is very poorly written, and hard to understand. Are you talking about spending time with your ex's new girlfriend, or is this woman your ex girlfriend (as in, you were in a same sex couple) or are you referring to an ex female friend you were close to (a girl friend) but that is no longer the case?

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Would I...Probably not.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from New York on

Based on your previous questions, I feel like this might be a case of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" - if you befriend the new girlfriend she might never guess that you are still sleeping with the guy.

But I think it is better for everyone if you can keep a "friendly distance" - it's okay to be friendly towards her, but do not spend much time hanging out alone with her.

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