Would You Do 4 Names?

Updated on December 31, 2011
M.M. asks from Lake Charles, LA
26 answers

So my husband and I are still arguing over our baby's middle name (or names lol). He's let me name him after my hubby but I want two middle names.. which is totally common for Hawaiian babies (which my husband was, and subsequently my baby is). My husband has a hyphenated first name so he's always had 4 names and I guess didn't like it very much.. I think he would not have as big a problem if he only had one first name and 2 middle vs. what he has.. So I'm fighting this pretty hard. I've been keeping his first name a secret because I don't want a lot of kids around here running around with his name, I picked it to be unique :) But he'll be here soon so no need to hide it anymore..

SO, I want to name him Bane Kawika Kamakani , all the names are of hawaiian origin, Bane: long awaited son; Kawika: Beloved (after my husband); and Kamakani: the wind.. then our last name. I figure at school and all that stuff he can just put one of his middle names if he wants, they both start with K so if he wants to use his initials as BKM or BKKM it's whatever.. I REALLY want to name him that but he's putting up a fight, what do you ladies think? If you heard that name would you think I was crazy for using 4 names? I think it's unique and I LOVE it. I just need to see if I'm being irrational, after all I've cooked him for the last 8 months, I figure I should have a bigger say (that's probably way wrong LOL). TIA!

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So What Happened?

BP- really? What on earth did I write that would make you think this was a joke?

Thanks to for all the reassurance, no I'm not just wanting 4 names because it's tradition (which is not a bad reason) I just love all of the names. I could also care less what people think of Bane, just because one definition isn't all sunshine doesn't mean that's what it means to us and will mean to him :) plus my husband was a football star and chances are our little man will be athletic and who would look forward to going up against a Bane on the field lol (that was a joke).

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answers from Chicago on

One of my brothers is Richard Thomas William Lastname. Yes, it was a mouthful when we said it all, but it rarely happened. His name honors both my dad and my grandpa, who passed away several years before he was born.

I bet all the names will be used very rarely, so it shouldn't be a big deal at all. No one will give you a hard time about it. I'd go for it.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

Both of my children have 2 middle names. They just use their first middle name for forms. They both have my maiden name for their 2nd middle name. My son has his 4 initials stitched on his school backpack and he loves it. He calls his 2nd middle name his "secret middle name". :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I think bane is kinda cool! My husband would love it. It does sound kinda tough/bruiser/football linebacker-ish:) I bet no one will make fun of his name! Lol

I don't think two middle names is that bad, but my grandma had that and always said it was hard/confusing.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Dallas on

I don't see any problem with 2 middle names. People hardly use them anyway - I think it's more of a tradition thing or to honor someone. It's more of an honor and I like it. The thing with middle names, is you don't have to use them if you don't want to.

I'm guessing that the first name is pronounced Bah-nay, as opposed to the English -Bain sound - the English definition is cause of harm or source of annoyance (the 2nd definition definitely works for the terrible 2's LOL).

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

4 names are fine if you dont think your child would be angry later with you on that. Think to what your parents named you and did you like it? Anyway JUST for information sake. Bane - in English is not good.
It means: a person or thing that ruins or spoils: 2 a deadly poison (often used in combination, as in the names of poisonous plants): wolfsbane; henbane.
3.death; destruction; ruin.

This is what I see or understand Bane to be. However if you are in Hawaii then it would probably be an acceptable name. I think its unique but also maybe not appropriate?

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

My son has four names: 1 first name and two middles. This was due to negotiations, because it was impossible to pick a name we both liked at first. Husband really liked the two family-inspired middle names and the first was the one I liked best from the ones my husband had proposed, in honor of a 19th century poet and western, pro-environment writer. The name is unique to our area and suits our son very well.

Just remember, no matter what you choose, they will put only three names (first, first middle, last) on the Social Security card.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I don't get why B.P. thinks this is a joke. Has she heard of George Herbert Walker Bush or J.R.R. Tolkein?

My older daughter has two middle names. We only used one on all her official documents, and in daily life, but the second one is there on her birth certificate. She's 23 and likes that she has two middle names. I see nothing wrong with your idea. I hope you can get hubby to go along.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Spokane on

My brother in law is hawaiian, and has two middle names;
First name: Kainoa
First middle name: too long and crazy for me to remember ;)
Second middle name: W.G.
No joke, his middle name is just the initials, they are short for Willy Grippy which was his great grandfather's name!
His girls both have Hawaiian first names and first middle names, and then their second middle names are American.
Seeing as this is part of Hawaiian culture, I don't know why your husband is putting up such a fuss!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Just remember it has to fit on a driver's license...

I would say that since you are wanting 4 names in honor of your husband's heritage, that he should be in agreement. If not, then no.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Bellingham on

I have four names, as does my brother. The only problem with it is that sometimes we can't fit them on forms! My eldest also has four names. I personally like the concept.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

My kids have two middle names... a "regular" one and my maiden name.

No big deal.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Biloxi on

My son has his first name then two middle names then our last name.
The first name is his alone and means "gift from God", no one else that I even know has the name, one middle name is the same as his father's and the second middle name for my close friend.

Oh, and everyone, except me, calls him by an abbreviated version of his first name - so he really has 4 names plus the last name.

I say go for it!!!

I really like the meaning and thought that you put behind the names - it makes them all very special.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Two of my grand kids each have 4 names. They are named for people who were important to my daughter so she just did it. Not a big deal.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I have 4 names. It is OK. But think about the future for your child, when it comes to Social Security numbers and such. If you name him 4 names, don't ever drop one name to make it shorter, as you suggested in the initial part of your question. I dropped one of my names like that, the one that I hated the most. It caused all kinds of havoc on taxes, then when I got married and changed my last name, whew!! Since then, I use all 4 names no matter what. I love your name idea, just wanted to give you some food for thought.

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answers from Los Angeles on

i like it! i had a friend whos son had 4 names brandon david duece i never thought it weird or odd. also my great grandfather didnt even have a middle name. name the baby as you wish dont worry about what others think.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

I wouldn't but there are parts of the world where people have many more middle names - the English royal family ( Prince William = William Arthur Philip Louis), India (I've seen up to 7).
It tends to wreak havoc with employee databases.
But 4 names is not terribly excessive compared to some I've seen, so if you like it, go for it!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

My husband thinks middle names are pointless. So when it came time to name my son I had to push to get ONE middle name.

IMO - you are his mom. If you feel so strongly about it, keep pushing. But WHY? I mean most forms say "middle initial" so I guess K would work for both cases. But do you want two middle names just b/c that's what everyone in Hawaii does? Or do you want two b/c you CAN? You could always save a favorite name for your NEXT son if possible. :)

(Guys don't see that "you've housed him for the past 8 months" deal. They see that they're the man, and this is their son. And they don't want to name their son anything weird. )

And I like the name. I remember your post a while back where you wouldn't tell us the name. Many guessed Kale I think. Bane sounds very strong. I like it (but won't likely steal it. Funny b/c I have considered the name Dane.)

Added after reading Hazel's answer: Hmm. I did not know that they will only do THREE names on SS card. That explains why my neice - they added one of her middle names to her first. ie. Her name might have been Leigh Ann Stepanie Jones and her card came back "Leighann Stephanie Jones." Maybe my SIL filled it out wrong? I dunno. Glad the other name was "Ann" and so it sounded fine. But for the rest of her life her legal documents can't just say Leigh. They must say Leighann I think? Ehh this alone would make me want to just have the 3 names and not deal with 4.

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answers from Dayton on

Do it!!! ;)

Both my kids have 2 middle names.
And I have avoided all possible headaches that they could cause by putting a hyphen in between them.
All 4 names are on each of their SS cards.

My DD's 1st name and 1st MN together mean 'divine strength, pledged to God'. The 3rd name is after my mom.
My DS's is too complicated to explain. But just as full of meaning.

If you love it and you know it's right keep pushing for it.
I agree mom should get a little more say. ;)
I don't think you're crazy at all.
HTH! Congrats!



answers from Washington DC on

I have 3 first names , 4 if you count my last name. It was also a family tradition. I put an end to that with my own daughter. She has a first name and one middle and that is enough. You do and name your child what you want.


answers from San Diego on

All 3 of mine have 4 names. First, 2 middle and last name. We love the names so much we kept them all! My kids love their names, all of them. For official things only their first middle name initial shows up and they're good with that. When filling out paper work we put both names in the slot for middle name with enough space between them that it was clear they were two separate names. No one else in the family has 4 names so we weren't following any traditions. Just happened to find more than the traditional 3 names that really identified our children. They all fit them perfectly too!
I'm a firm believer that the baby's spirit helps you pick their name. If you are so attached to it there is a reason :)

editied: after reading some of the responses I noticed a comment about social security cards. All 3 of my children have all 4 of their names on their cards, with proper spaces to make them 4 separate names. We had absolutely no problems at all doing it. We went to the social security office with their birth certificates with their legal name, all 4 of them, and the card was made accordingly. No issues. Not a word, just filled out the form and off it went.



answers from Detroit on

My youngest has 2 middle names, he is our last chid and we wanted to honor 2 important people in our lives so we named him Colin Stephen-Patrick. I figure for the whole middle name thing, most forms just want the middle initial. We got some flack from my family, but I honestly don't care what their opinions are, it's your child, do what you think is right!



answers from Boca Raton on

Me and all of my siblings have 2 middle names, I didn't know i was abnormal until highschool! My daughter also as two middle names. c:

Its not any harder than one, usually just have to initial one of the middle names for things. So mine would be Elizabeth Marie, or Elizabeth M. c:



answers from Seattle on

I have 4 names, as does my son.

All 4 are on our social security cards.

4 names is common in my family. A first name that is their own, and then 2 honoring names (one from mom's side, and one from dad's).



answers from Oklahoma City on

I grew up in Hawaii & never knew Bane was a Hawaiian name. I would name your son 'Kawika Bane Kamakani': 'Beloved long awaited son, the wind' (if you feel you must have two middle names, otherwise lose the Kamakani), & then your last name.
BTW, I'm confused. Is your husband the baby's actual father, or were you married before, & the husband you have now is the step father? It's difficult to tell by the way it's written. (I'm not criticizing you) Good luck to you, & congratulations on your firstborn!




answers from Tulsa on

My husband has 4 names; however, most don't know that. He just uses his first name and first middle name with his last name. So, if you love it, I say do it. Nothing wrong with 4 names, then as your child gets older he can choose if he wants to use all of them or just one of the middle names. I think it's fine. Good luck.



answers from Atlanta on

It's usually best if both parents agree about names. You could go ahead and name him that and take your chances that your husband will eventually be okay with it. But then again he may never let you forget it.
I don't think it's strange although it's a lot to deal with. But then he won't really use all of them except in formal or lawful documents and such. Personally, I let my husband choose way too much with the names, he insisted on all J names and that's not really what I wanted, but I'm okay with it, I have to be. My mom and dad and my brothers/their wives had a deal where if it was a boy the dad picked the name and if it was a girl mommy picked the name. I don't know if I'd do that, I think it's good when both decide together. Of course in your situation that wouldn't work. But ya know most of the time with most people one person out rides the other to some degree.
Everyone ends up with the name they're suppose to have no matter what we believe. Good Luck with it. Have a beautiful and calm, loving birth

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