Thank you all for your iinput. alot of it will help. I am pro, i think i am going to take can side to seee more in their eyes why they are con. Its the only way to learn smething. Ill let you know how my debate goes:)
Do you drink alcohol? I am more leery of those that drink than smoke pot. People that drink tend to get drunk or buzzed and say and do things that are embarrassing or at the least annoying. Those that smoke pot, unless they are totally stoned, can function w/ no issues whatsoever - their eyes are just red....
If my friends are willing to forgive all the habits I have that are probably unhealthy, stupid, or uneccessary...why should I care about theirs? As long as it is of no consequence to my kids...It has absolutely nothing to do with me, and is none of my business.
If I had to guess...some of my friends do much freakier, odd, interesting things behind closed doors.
I could be friends with them on certain conditions. I do not think its wrong to smoke pot, but i feel it would be wrong to smoke it around the kids. So as long as they don't smoke near the kids, i would be their friends. and of course they couldn't smoke around me or my family either.
Gosh, there are so many different people that smoke pot. They aren't all surfer dudes that say "what up, bro".
Honestly, it is more harmful for a child to inhale second hand cigarette smoke than it is pot smoke. Although, I would be very uncomfortable knowing that someone would do it in the presence of a child...
I don't think pot really changes a person. I'm sure all the shocked moms on here are just ignorant about the effects of it. It really isn't a big deal other than the fact that it is illegal.
I don't smoke pot, but I know SO many people that do- all different ages and professions. No big deal to me.
I have no moral problem with it. I rank it right up there with alcohol. Seems sort of arbitrary to me that one is legal and one is not.
The problem I would have would be how a drug is used (whether that drug is alcohol or pot). An occassional glass of wine -- Cool. One glass of wine every night -- To each their own. Putting two bottles of wine in the recycling bin in one evening while the kids are looking on-- Hmmm...Not so much. Making wine in your basement and selling it to others on the street corner - No go.
You could swap out "wine" in the above statements for "pot".
For me, as long as things are done in moderation and child care or friendships and work and finances are not suffering, then you are probably handling your life in a responsible manner.
NO. It's illegal. I have no respect for deliberate, repetitive, illegal behavior. It tells me A LOT about what kind of people they are. A LOT....especially...if they have kids.
Why would I want to be friends with people who think they are above the law? Why would I want to be friends with people who put ME in a compromising position? Why would I want to be friends with people who knowing take part in illegal activity, that could negatively effect their children? Yes, I do think people who every time they purchase AND smoke pot, are knowingly breaking the law and don't care...are losers. Sorry to say, but it's how I feel. I feel sorry for anyone who is fooled into thinking otherwise.
I would be both freaked out and disgusted, I would certainly tell them my standards in a non-judging way and that I wouldn't be a part of it. I would not be unkind or unfriendly to them, but we would not be hanging out very often, and never in their home, maybe a casual acquaintanceship, but not anything more than that. Quite honestly, if I caught them high and felt their kids were being neglected, I would call the police on them.
Um,,,,,yeah. Pot smokers come in all shapes and sizes, tempermants, tax brackets, backgrounds,...etc.. You'd be surprised at what straitlaced, and proper men and women get high when your not looking. This is probably the only type of drug user id befriend actually. I would even question my involvment with people who drank too much and smoked too many ciggs.
No problem with it at all. We had friends in college (they were older & had kids) who taught their kids that pot was for grown ups (just like alcohol) - I had no problem with it. Way less concerned than adults who smoke cigarettes around kids.
I have all sorts of friends, some that drink, some that smoke pot, and some that don't do either. I find they are all great people, and all have their own "specialty" in life... the drinkers are fun to go out with, the smokers re funny to conversate with, and the others are fun to do everything else with... I like variety in my life. My mother was a hippie, so I had all kinds of people around me growing up. I never saw them drink or smoke pot, and didn't know they did until I was an adult with a child of my own. So I really don't see the big deal about it unless someone is getting hurt or the kids have seen it or know about it.
I just wouldn't send my kids out in a car with them, knowing that the drug alters your mind, or at least slows your brain down, for hours at a time :)
It depends on a number of things.
-Is this occasional (like once a month) or habitual (daily or several times a week)?
-Do they do it around/in front of the kids?
-Are they otherwise responsible parents, i.e. both educated, have job or are positively contributing to the household in some way?
-Are the children well care for, well kempt?
No I would not. My husband works for a law enforcement agency, and he took an oath that if he ever saw a law being broken, he would report it. He takes that oath very seriously, and I support him. So we could not be friends with anyone we knew smoked pot. Not so much because we think they are bad people or anything, but simply because of my husbands commitment to his job.
personal opinion...I am disgusted by people who smoke cigarettes...the smell...everything, but we are friends with a couple who smokes the other stuff,...for whatever reason that does not bother me....but they are distant friends...we only see them about once a quarter. Personally I dont do either of them...but I guess some people chose to pick their poison, I chose to have a beer on friday nights and they chose to smoke grass.
Now that I think about it, I dont have any friends who smoke cigarettes...
It also depends too..just because I am friends with this couple, I would never let my kid be around them without me there too...(hope that makes sense)
Are they smoking pot in front of my kids? No.
Would they be caring for my kids while smoking pot? Not happening.
Smoking pot in my house or in my yard? Nope.
Being casual friends with people that we know sometimes smoke pot? I guess.
Would I think less of parents that regularly smoke pot? Yes.
Generally, my philosophy is "we'll take care of us & what works for you is up to you, especially when it doesn't affect us." SO--given the vagueness of the circumstances in the question, I guess that's my answer.
Of course. I already am. Are they losers? No. Do they do it around their kids? No. Does it affect their professional life (and yes, they are professionals)? Does it affect their family life? No. Are they great parents? Yes. Do I care? Obviously not! :)
p.s. I think there are more people than you know who DO. And anyone who is interested in reading about how America's skewed and hypocritical drug policy began would find Mike Gray's book "Drug Crazy: How We Got Into This Mess and How We Get Out" a very interesting read! (He also wrote "The China Syndrome")
Um, you more than likely are friends with people who smoke pot, you just don't know it!! Like Mel said, many many people smoke pot on a regular basis. Just like with everything else, as long as they are being safe and responsible around their/my kids, I could care less.
As long as they don't do it when they're taking care of their children, it wouldn't bother me. I know several couples who smoke pot under the same conditions that someone drinks socially and allows him or herself to get a little tipsy. Specifically, I don't think it's OK for both parents to be stoned out of their minds when the are responsible for their children (even if they're sleeping...we've all been called to duty in the middle of the night for a sick child and you can't do that if you're still high) or when they have to drive, do something that requires concentration, etc. If one is going to smoke enough to be really high, the other one has to stay straight - just like if my husband and I are going out and one of us wants to get a little tipsy, the other has to stay sober enough to drive and be responsible in an emergency.
No I would not be friends with them, and i wouldn't hang out with some one who smoked cigs around me either. This is one of those things that i have never thought was ok, and especially not when they are parents.
You definatley made me stop and think though, i don't even know where i would meet someone that does this. wowser.
It wouldn't bother me provided they didn't just laze around all day smoking. This same thought goes along with anyone who just lazes around all day and does nothing. I wouldn't enjoy being friends with that type of person either. There are much more horrible types of friends to have than those who smoke pot. It would not be an issue if they had children either, that's their choice for their family. No harm done to me.
Before I had children, I smoked pot and so did all my friends. Some of them had children, and it never bothered me.
After I had my own children, I realized how wrong it was and I felt guilty for years afterwards that I participated in the lives of these parents who were doping it up while taking care of their children.
Nope, I wouldn't be friends with them. You'll be contributing every time you hang out, and they are high, and they are still parents...which will be every time.
Probably not...to each their own but what if I was with them for dinner and then they got busted by the cops and house raided or something...I don't want any part of something that is illegal...Guilty by association...why mess with it. There are a lot of law abiding people out there that can provide a healthy and safe environment to grow a friendship.
If it effected the children or the kids knew about it, absolutely, 100% NO. If they smoked pot like I'll have a cocktail at the end of a long stressful day to unwind, that wouldn't bother me a bit. If they spent all their money on drugs and their house was disgusting, NO. Honestly, and I don't smoke it, I think smoking pot is like anything else... it's okay in moderation (same with drinking alcohol). I think it depends on the big picture.
For me, it's not a friendship dealbreaker automatically. That would be the same as me not liking someone for their race or religion. I give everyone a chance until you prove me otherwise.
Im not completely against people smoking pot, my husband and I personally dont. My neighbors do though and I dont have a problem with it. But they dont have kids.
I guess the way I look at it, even if they smoke pot when their children are 40 miles away, (it should never be around children), but even if thats the case, its still illegal, and even having it in your house you run huge risks when you have children. You children can get taken away from you quickly for having drugs in the house. Even if I liked smoking pot, thats not a risk I would take. It would be hard for me to allow my children to be somewhere where there were illegal drugs.
And this opinion is based on people never doing it around their kids. If they do it while their kids are there, no I dont think I could be friends with them and would be freaked out.
NO WAY! And they have kids?? That is just plain irresponsible - for a lot of reasons. Whether we as citizens agree that it is on par with a few alcoholic drinks doesn't change the fact that is IS ilegal. These "parents" are knowingly taking a great risk at losing their children to the state. Any parents that put their selfish needs and desires above the well-being of their children is no one I want to be associated with. Not to mention that it takes money away from their family. Whether they can "afford" it or not means zero to me - that money would be going into a savings account for my kids college if nothing else. I don't believe the children do not see what their parents are doing either. This impression is telling the kids that illegal drugs are OK, and that breaking the law is OK if you do not agree with it. If these people wanted to do this they never should have had kids. Having kids means you must grow up and be an adult. There is nothing adult-like about being selfish - and that is exactly what this is.
One of the tenents of parenthood is to teach children how to be responsible adults. Whether you are for or against the legalization of pot, and regardless of whether it is more harmful than second-hand smoke, the point is the parents are breaking the law, and thus send a message to the kids that if you don't like a law, it's perfectly fine to break it, instead of trying to change it, or to find solutions.
Depends. If they smoke, but not around their kids (or me & mine), not before or during driving...and so forth, I'd consider it a private matter. If they sat around hitting a bong all day, neglecting their kids, I'd have a heck of a time accepting that.
Laws where I live are such that some smokers are quite within their legal rights. So...yeh, it would depend on how it did or did not effect me and their kids.
I would not be able to be "hang out with them" friends. The reason being because I would not ever want to be with them, if they were to get busted. I would not want to put myself in this situation.
I'm one that actually believes it should be legal, but it is not. Just like I wouldn't sit in a car while someone is robbing a store because it is illegal, I wouldn't be able to sit next to someone doing something illegal such as smoking pot. Guilty by association, you know?
When I was 18, I found out my dad smoked pot (thats when he told me but i already knew). Anyways, he does it in the privacy of his own home. Is it my business? No. But do I think it was right for him to do it all my life? No. Even not doing it in front of us, he was still high around us. Thats how accidents happen! There are plenty of ways for grown adults to relax, and if their only escape is drugs...thats sad! I made mistakes years ago, but I put that life behind me a long time ago and my daughter (and future kids) will never see me on drugs! Practice what your preach! Im not friends with hypocrites!
It's best not to judge others. You might be horrified or even further disgusted to know what others do behind closed doors but you haven't found out yet. If you feel the children are in jeopardy, I suppose talking to them would be in order but to not be their friend just because you know they smoke pot is not necessarily "enough" to end a friendship unless they do it in front of you.
Edit: I guess it would also depend on the type of people they are. I had neighbors who had two children many years ago living down my street who I had found out they smoked pot. I would have never known unless someone had told me. We didn't socialize at their house or anything like that but they were very nice people. They were both educated and their kids were being homeschooled, well adjusted, well mannered children. We, my husband and I always stopped to talk to them when we were out for a walk. They were very nice people and like I said, I would have never known they were pot heads....but if the people you know are not nice or they act like druggies, then no, I would have nothing to do with them. But still, it's not our place to judge.