Would Love to Have Another Baby

Updated on December 23, 2008
S.V. asks from Capitola, CA
28 answers

I have two wonderful sons from my previous marriage that are 11 and 12. I just got married Aug of this year to my best friend. He and I would love to have a baby. I'm worried though because I'm 38 and we have been trying for a couple months now and nothing. I'm not sure if it's my age or what. With my other two children I got pregnant right away. I'd like to know if anyone out there is older like myself and have had success with getting pregnant.Also not sure how long I should try. Thanks for your time :)

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I am younger and had problems getting pregnant. We used a vitamin suppliment called fertility blend from fertilityblend.com.

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

S.,
My aunt had two kids at the age of 40 and 42. So you should still have plenty of time. Good luck, W.

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D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,

I had my first baby, now nearly 2, at 38 and it took us almost exactly a year to get pregnant. We are now trying for baby number two and it has been almost a year, but I'm not concerned. We'll get there.

I recommend getting some ovulation tests. We started using those in July and got pregnant in August - unfortunatley that pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but it worked just the same.

Good luck and keep trying. All the best for a happy and fertile 2009. D..x

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W.V.

answers from Sacramento on

I would talk to your OB. There are blood tests that can be done to test your hormone and thyroid levels- sometimes there are simple things that have changed in your body as you've aged that can be easy to fix. Sometimes by this age you could have developed some cysts on your ovaries that make it difficult to ovulate. I know several women who've gotten pregnant at your age and older (up to age 46). Many of them needed help to get pregnant (not IVF or anything invasive, but most needed some type of hormone or thyroid medication).

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G.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S. ~
I don't think it has so much to do with your age. I'm a first time Mom at 41 and have been married only 1 year. If you're concerned you could get a thorough check up with your doctor. My obgyn advised me a long time ago that when I was ready to not stress out about it - that's usually what stalls you. Enjoy being married and the rest will happen naturally. I guess I was enjoying being married so much we had a honeymoon baby! Good luck and Happy Holidays to you and your family!

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S.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I also got pregnant at 38. I read every book on fertility to understand exactly how my body worked: fluids, temp, etc. When I understood it all, I knew how to read my body and was pregnant the next month.

Stephanie

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Of course you can have another baby. Start charting so you can see if you have any obvious issues. Track your ovulation and make sure that is all working okay. Read "Take Charge of Your Fertility" this will help. People have babies at 43.

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I also recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility (tcoyf.com). I wish I had found it earlier when trying to conceive my first. Also, Evening Primrose Oil helps to give you more and better quality cervical fluid which tends to decrease as we get older. Usually you have to take it for about 3 months or so before you notice a difference.
Best of luck,
C.

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J.B.

answers from San Francisco on

A couple of months is not very long. Are you tracking your ovulation, or just "trying" randomly? Get a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility," by Toni Weschler, if you don't have it already. If getting your timing right doesn't yield results after a few months, you might see a reproductive endocrinologist to run some tests.

I conceived my first / only at 39.

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi! I'm pregnant with my third and I'm 38. It's definitely possible, but it's also possible that it won't be as easy this time as you (and I!) are officially considered "Advanced Maternal Age". I would recommend tracking your fertility--check out the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Stacie
if you aren't already doing it, DO track your cycle, pick that book take charge of your fertility.. track your waking temperature, cervical fluid and those two combined should help your changes, pending there are other problems. The thing about ovulation kits is that they are MISLEADING.. you can have an LH surge which is what they track, but that doesn't mean you are actually ovulating.. that's the thing they don't tell you about those tests.... you can know for sure IF you are ovulating by taking your temp, if midcycle (whatever midcycle is for you) reflects a surge in temp, it's likely you have ovulated, truly without doing this, the ovulation kits while are good on conjunction WITH tracking your temp and checking for cervical fluid, alone ... well.. not as good.. so try all three.. again. I'd pick up that book..
good luck!

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D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

When my boys were 6 and 8, we decided we wanted to have another child. We were told, however, that I did not ovulate any longer and, absent intervention, would not be able to concieve. We were okay with that and went on with our lives. Although we looked into adoption, we never followed through and figured we'd simply be a happy little family of four. Then...when I was 38...and my boys were 10 and 12....I started throwing up at my sons football practice...

Her name is Jordyn, and she is 3.

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T.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I had my second baby at 43, 6 years after my son. It takes a little longer at that age, but if your periods are still regular, it shouldn't be a problem. If it takes too long, you might have your hormone levels checked to see if you're still ovulating. I don't know how many months to try befor taking that step. Good luck

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K.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't give up! I'm 38 and having my first baby in 2 months. We tried for 2 1/2 years before getting pregnant. Which I don't tell you to discourage you, but to give you hope. What finally worked for us (I believe) is that I drastically changed my stress level. Everyone says stress affects us in every way and I didn't realize how much until I threw my hands up to all the stuff I had no way of controlling and just "let it be." So, moral of the story, don't stress that it hasn't happened in a couple months - that won't help. Invest in a good ovulation kit and relax and have fun with your new husband! Congratulations and happy baby-making!

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C.F.

answers from San Francisco on

i'm 37 and pregnant with our 2nd, with a miscarriage in-between. i used the babycenter.com ovulation calendar. and we practiced often. :) good luck!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,
I'm 33 and it took a year to get pregnant with my daughter and I've been trying since Feb for our next one (with a miscarriage in Oct). My doctor told me if you're under 35 they wait a year to do tests, but if you're 35 or older they like to start testing people after trying for 6 months. Does your husband have any kids? Also keep in mind, it takes most people several months to get pregnant, just try to relax...hahaha =O)
Best of luck and congrats on the marriage =o)

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Stacy-
I am ue next month an I will be 42-this is my third and a girl, we worked har to get her-non scientifically. last year I ha 3 misscarriages which was very har-but here I am there are so many things you can do to get your boy ready for pregnancy-I don't really have the stamina to rype it all but you can email me with your # an I'd be happy to help-I have been practicing fertility awareness metho for a couple of years an it will help you to pinpoint you highest fertitlity-the book Taking charge of your fertility is a bible-learn it. Also stay away from Stevia it is a fertility crusher and go to the health food store and start taking Maca and vitex both to get you hormones in order-I can also help if you want a girl-there are many low tec things you can do an eat at home to sway the odds-goo luck you are young I had my second at 38- L.

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.. You are not "too old" to have children by ANY means. It takes an average of a year to get pregnant when trying to conceive for the typical healthy and fertile couple. You may have just gotten "lucky" the previous two time. Take it easy and just enjoy the journey. I know it's easier said than done when TTC. It took me 11 months of actively trying with my first one - but with my second (and current pregnancy), it was a total surprise! Stress does not help the situation, so try to relax... (sorry, I used to HATE it when people told me to relax when I was trying for my first) - but it's really the only thing you can do. Also, try getting an ovulation kit at the drug store. It will help mark your most fertile days.
Good luck! Don't get discouraged! If you have other concerns, talk with your OB.

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D.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.,
I am 37 and a mother of a 3yr old and at first I thought the same thing but when we stopped trying to get pregnant and we were not focus on it we got pregnant so don't stress and stop trying just relax and let it happen most women who thought that they couldn't have kids would adopt and find out later that they are expecting so relax and just have fun with your new husband and let nature do the rest.

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J.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I had my first at 38 and my second at 40. If this is really important to you, I would chart (fertilityfriend.com has a lot of info if you aren't already familiar with keeping close track of your cycles) and make sure I have well timed intercourse. Then, if I wasn't PG in 6 months or so, I would consult with a doctor. 38 is definitely not too old, but if there was a problem, I'd rather find out sooner rather than later. (Imagine trying until you were 40 only to find your husband had a problem!)

I know I went into conceiving as an older mother full of worries, but in the end, I had zero problems, had two healthy pregnancies and two healthy boys. We are considering a third child, and I will be at least 42 when and if we have that one. Think young! :)

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

hi S.
You have to wait 6 months then I would go get your fertility checked
out. Ask your gynercologist about this. I was able to get pregnant at 38..it took me 1 year
of not trying to hard. Now I am trying again..and it's much harder. There is secondary infertility
That u can get...which i have..much harder for me to get pregnant..you maybe be okay...But better safe than sorry so get a fertiliy checkup tests at 6 months..husband too.
I would try the basal temperature..and get ovulation test strips for now and try to relax.
I am 40 now, daughter is 17 months old
Good luck tc K.

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G.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There are a few vitamins that might help.
Zinc- (for men), Manganese, vit A and coenzyme10 all list reproduction problems with a deficiency in the vitamin.
Best surces: Raw fresh pinnaple or raspberries (mangansese)Liver (zinc and coenzyme 10), and raw carrots or Cod Liver Oil(vit A).
Liver is such a superfood. In the old days people ate a lot more organ meats and were so healthy! My husband loves it, I just can't stomach it at all.

I used the book "taking charge of you fertility" (keeping track of ovulatory signs and temps)when we were ready for our second baby and viola, we were pregnant within two months. If there are no physical limitations this method should work for you. (see if you can check it out from the library.)

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R.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Everyone is so different! I had my first at 38 and, just last month, had my second two days after turning 40. Both babies are thriving.
It only took us about a month after I went off BC pills each time. However, I know women in their early 30s who have experienced infertility and some were due to their partners's fertility issues as well. So advanced age is not necessarily the culprit.
There's always hope. I'd relax and give it a couple of months more. Also, it does take both of you to make a baby, so don't jump to conclusions about yourself.

Good luck.

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A.D.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm 38 also and expecting my second! My son is 7. We had trouble getting pregnant with our second. Because of my age (I was 35), the doctor recommended we see about fertilty issues after 6 months. We waited 8. After a year and a half of fertility treatments (Chlomid, insemination, one round of IVF)and one miscarriage, we stopped and just tried naturally again. And now we have a baby due in May! So, it can definitely happen. My advice would be to wait a few more months, then talk to your doctor... Good luck!!!

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B.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I had my first at age 38 1/2 and my 2nd and 41 3/4! They are now 7 & 10 and they keep me young. I nursed my first for 2 1/2 years -- that may have prevented me from getting pregnant with #2, but we were certainly trying hard. We started fertility tests, I became pregnant with no intervention, miscarried early, and was pregnant with my #2 the very next month. No pregnancy issues other than the regular side effects. My advice? Keep trying and also consult your OBGYN. Remember how those little babies changed your whole life? If you think you want another baby, I think you should go for it.

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm in the same boat. I had my daughter at 29. I'm getting remarried in July and would like to try for #2 but I'm scared with the risk factors, etc. I'd try for 6 months..then ask your dr. thats what i'm going to do. make sure all is working ok. good luck!

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K.J.

answers from San Francisco on

my best advice is to stop trying and that is when it will happen. the more you try the harder it gets and most likely won't happen. once you forget (not totally) but not so focus on becoming pregnant it will come natural and without notice.

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J.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,

Acupuncture and Herbs can work to strengthen and rejuvenate the body. If you haven't tried it, this would be a perfect time. I have an Acupuncture and Women's Wellness Center in Walnut Creek providing natural solutions for women through the different stages and phases of her life. Chinese Medicine is a well respected adjunct fertility therapy. www.purebalancewellness.com

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