Worried About Child with Severe Allergy Attending Preschool

Updated on September 10, 2008
J.M. asks from Los Angeles, CA
19 answers

Hi moms. My 2-year old has been diagnosed with a severe allergy to sesame. 3 nights ago he had a severe reaction and I had to administer an epi-pen and call 911. The scariest part of all of this is that he barely touched a sesame bun with the tip of his finger (before we could stop him). It was from this tiny amount of contact that his face, eyes, lips and tongue all swelled up. As a result of this experience, my husband and I are rethinking a lot of things, including whether my son, Eli, will be safe attending preschool in a year. For example, if another kid touches something with sesame and then touches my son, will he have the same reaction? - and I can't even begin to think what would happen if he accidentally got a taste of something sesame.

I'm wondering whether any moms out there have kids with such severe allergies who have been able to work out a safe situation at a preschool. Thanks in advance for your help and stories.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

HAve you heard of trying to relive the allergy with something like NAET (which stands for Nambudripad Allergy Elimination Techniques) I would be so concerned with sending him to school as well. I would probably homeschool until my child understood the consiquences really well.

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M.L.

answers from San Diego on

I have a friend whose son has severe milk, nut, and egg allergies. Before she put her son in preschool she gathered all her info and did a presentation to the staff about his allergies and what to do if he had a reaction. Granted she's a doctor and has access to stuff you probably don't but you could do the same thing. That way everyone knows, not just his teacher. Good luck and try not to worry too much.

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L.B.

answers from San Diego on

My heart goes out to you...I have TWO sons,both severely allergic to peanut products and many other nuts. Peanuts, though, are the biggest offender because they are everywhere and they are greasy, so greasy peanut butter fingers touch the lunch tables, pencils, balls you name it.
I know just how scary this is.

You might just want to hold off on pre-school for just a little bit if you can, mainly because he isn't old enough to know to repeat the mantra to ANY adult that feeds him, "I am severly allergic to all sesame..did you read the ingredients?". But if your child needs to attend here are some ideas...
First, I will tell you, although the world is getting somewhat more aware that allergies are life threatening, many people, teachers (and perhaps even friends) think that mom is just a little neurotic. They will unfortnately think this until they see your child break out in full body hives just from being in the room with the offensive item. It is unfortunately our job to educate them for the sake of our children. Bring them articles on how severe allergies are, what can happen etc.
Speak with the principal/director, you will get very good idea of how seiously she takes allergies. If you get the feeling that she doesn't "get it" shop for another pre-school. Once you've selected a school, make sure your child has a safe place to eat..for example, many schools have a peanut free table. (In your situation, because it is pre-school I would ask that no sesame products be allowed in the classroom at all.)
Make sure your child's teacher knows to have ALL children wash their hands after they eat.(Also, they should wash hands as soon as they get to school; you don't know what they had for breakfast and there may be some lingering sesame on little fingers)
No home baked goods should be served to your child unless all ingredients have been provided by the baker (other moms) Give your teacher a list of items that often contain "hidden" sesame products. Hummus is a big offender here, alot of people have no idea that tahini is made from sesame, so I would actually ask that hummus not be available in the classroom as a snack, even if it is brought from home.(unlike something baked with sesame, hummus can be smeared everywhere and anywhere)
Make sure YOU read the ingredients on any snacks that the school provides.(when there are a ton of ingredients try and read them backwards this will help you not skip over by mistake)
Ask to have a meeting with the Principal and ALL teachers that may ever be with your child. Give them a presentation on how to use the epi-pen. Try to give the school two epi's, I usually give one to have near the recess area and one for the classroom. (same with benadryl, I have benadryl stashed all over the place)
Once you know which classroom your child will be in bring your little spray bottle of clorox/water or those handy clorox wipes and wipe down the tables (underneath is imp) chairs, toys etc. This was huge for me as my first son had a horrible reaction because something, we didn't know what, was touched in the classroom that must have had some peanut oil in it.
Lastly, have the teacher talk with the children to explain allergies so that his classmates know what is going on..yes, even at an early age. My son's life has been saved, I am sure, several times because a FRIEND reminded a mother that they couldn't serve something that had peanuts or peanut oil!! Mom's who don't deal with this day after day don't have the practice we have being diligent about certain food products...
I know this sounds like a lot and this all can be a little overwhelming, to say the least. Yes, allergies are a pain to live with, but it will just become, believe it or not, a normal part of life. My children are now fourteen and eleven years old and while they will never be 100% safe, they are aware and careful, as are their frinds.
I sure hope this has helped some.

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

Preschool sounds awfully risky to me! Even in kindergarten a child is still too young to be in charge of such an important health matter, but kindergarten is an important part of standard curriculum. Preschool is not. Many studies have shown that the time spent at home with mom is more beneficial in the long run, and that kids who attended preschool only have a jump on their non-preschool attending classmates for the first month or two of kindergarten. If you can find a highly recommended, extremely diligent preschool with an excellent record in this sort of thing, or a preschool that you can attend with him, give it a try. If not, keep him home and enjoy the time with him! He will be a teenager before you know it, and the time you spend with him during his early years will serve you well then.

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S.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wow! Reading many of these entries really scared me.

I am a kindergarten teacher with severe allergy to gluten (the protein in wheat and many other things). A colleague has allergies to many things including tree nuts and bananas. We collect medical data from parents before school begins and ban any substances that are known allergens in our classes. Each child has an Epi pen at school and we are trained each year in proper usage.

At our school, children bring their own snacks. Sharing is strictly forbidden and we check all snacks before they are opened or consumed. Sometimes, other parents are not as aware and unfortunately, do send in inappropriate snacks (especially when ingredients are "hidden"). These are confiscated, a note is sent home, and if it happens again, offending parents are contacted in person. I would highly recommend giving the teacher a list of common terms to look for and common offenders. Most other parents are happy to help, they just need to be armed with information like you are.

Dealing with allergies myself, I find that it is clear to me when someone "gets it" and when they don't. Before making any decisions carte blanche, I recommend finding a few preschools you believe to be options for you and personally visiting them. You have plenty of time to research appropriate facilities. Talk with the director and staff ahead of time. Ask if you can visit - especially at snack or lunch time to observe their procedures. Educate yourself about the people you will entrust with your child's care. Many are well-aware, diligent, and concerned otherwise they wouldn't be working with kids!

Good luck!

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally wouldn't send him to preschool. I've seen well-meaning adults give kids things despite orders from parents to only feed the child what is contained in their lunch pail. Many people do not understand the seriousness of allergies and are not going to watch out for your son the way you will. There are excellent preschool programs you can buy and teach him at home. You can also socialize him by taking him to variety of classes that food is not associated with.

Blessings!
N.

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

How scary! I remember the story of the teen girl who died because boy kissed her after he'd eaten peanuts.

Check on lunch situation at preschools. Most have kids bring a lunch -- hard to control what is in other kids lunch. Your son would have to eat in isolation and then the other kids would have to be thoroughly washed (not likely to happen). A few preschools provide hot lunches and there may or may not be some way to control the food served here. (Many private schools have lunches sent in be a food service company who contracts w/ many schools and may not be able to guarantee no sesame oil/seed has come in contact w/ food. Many schools when faced w/ a child w/ food allergy try to get other parents to take it into consideration, but even if all parents promise not to send in sesame seed/oil food, some one might forget or grandma might make lunch or something. If you can avoid preschool you might want to wait until he is 4 or 5. If preschool is not just daycare for you, don't be concerned that your child will be behind for life if he doesn't go to preschool -- good parenting and working with your son on preschool skills -- colors, shapes, letters, numbers, and even writing his name can be as good or better than preschool. Also if you can afford to stay home, you might even want to look into homeschooling.
Good luck. Stay safe.
You can't even let your son eat in a fast food restaurant, as seeds fall off buns and may come in contact w/ other foods like nuggets.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

As far as preschool, you'd be best to pick a program that is 2 or 3 hours with only a snack served. the less exposure to possible allergy related foods, the better.

Our preschool has a no nut policy but some parents think it doesn't really matter and send stuff anyway. At least once a week I toss out PB&J, PB crackers, almonds, peanuts, various other off limit foods. Luckily we catch things but you never know when something can get missed.

Our classrooms have allergy lists of the child, his or her photo, allergin and foods to avoid. Children who are severly limited in what they eat must have food provided by the parent. None of our kids have an epi pin so I'm not sure our procedure for that. The company did just come out with a 4 page document/waiver for sever allergies to be completed by the parent and doctor.

the older children around 4 or 5 can usually tell what they can and can't have and that is a big help. children love to share food or sample off of othere kids plates. Don't have him in preschool until he can communicate his food restricitons. We had one boy with a severe milk allergy. At home his mom gave him the chocolate soy milk. One day the cook served regulare choc milk as a treat. The boy poured the milk off the food cart and drank it up before the teacher knew what happened. he thought since it was brown, it was OK. He was taken to the hospital and luckily OK. With 11 or more other kids around, a teacher might not see something.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.

You may want to investigate getting your son's allergy cured. I and two of my grandchildren have had wonderful success. Our doctor, Dr. David Karaba, at East West Medical Group in Fullerton, is a certified NAET practitioner. I have talked with him and he is willing to do a free consultation so you can learn about NAET, ask questions, and decide if this is something you want to pursue.

Best wishes,

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C.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I do not have a kiddo with this severe, but I do have them with allergies. My thought is if you do send him you need to find all the other names that sesame goes by, such as Tahini sauce. Its basically sesame peanut butter. It is the base for Hummus and its in other mediteranen dishes. You will just need to educate the staff, because they will not know.
I also worked at a preschool and was in charge of snack, we had a whole procedure to follow when checking for allergies, etc. My thought though to be very safe is to just pack all your own food including snacks. But then again he is 2 and no matter how much we watched kids- they are fast those 2 yr olds would grab someones food and eat it fast and we were just feet away. So you may need to request that he has his own table to sit at. If this is just for social reasons and not day care per say then perhaps you can come at lunch time and sit with him. Its a lot on the teachers especailly with very active and unpredictable 2 yr olds to watch just one child during lunch time. As a former teacher I just wanted to be brutially honest with you. It is doable but it will take work on your part as well as the schools.

Feel free to pick my brain ____@____.com

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A.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

my son does not have an allergy to anything but a child in his class did. the teacher will send out a letter to all parents about the allergy so that their child does not bring any food or snacks with the ingrediants that your child is allergic to and kindly explain to them that they should also have the kids wash their hands as soon as they come into the class since your son can have a reaction just from touching it. I would also make sure they have a epi-pen on hand just in case. The teachers are usually very careful about these kind of things.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My daughter attends a preschool where no type of nuts and the list is posted are allowed in her school. As well, they wash their hands quite often. It is tough, but you will have to let him go at some time. It is hard to say if the allergy will subdue any, as everyone is different. You are going to have to really do a good job about teaching your son about his allergy.

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B.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids do not have allergies like you are talking about, but...
I have had my son in kindercare and they are pretty on top of the allergy thing. No outside food allowed, and if you tell them about the allergy that your child has they are very careful with it. they never served anything with peanuts and i have never seen seseme in their food schedule.
Good luck

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S.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Having had a few allergies of my own and family who has them too, it is never an easy thing and you always feel a bit uneasy about eating things. You never know if any of the "hidden ingredients" in food could be something your allergic to.
I don't know if you have thought about this, but you could go to a naturopath or an allergist or someone that can get rid of the allergy or at least minimize it. I would be terrified of my son ever being out in the world if I had the concern about someone touching a sesame and then touching my son like you had mentioned. You can't prevent that from happening to you son anywhere at any age. I would suggest you looking into the possibilities of helping your son get over his allergy and take it from that angle rather than dealing with the attacks when they happen. I have a brother who when he was 10 months old spilled some milked on his face and had a SEVERE reaction and almost died. He was violently allergic to anything containing milk or whey (milk protein) until he was a grown man and even now in his 20's he still has a bad reaction. He wishes he didn't have the allergy and worries about it. I also have 3 of my 4 kids who have allergies and I can empathize with you. My kids have allergies to penicillin, and sulfa which are a bit easier to control than sesame. I hope you are able to find a way to work things out. Blessings to you and your son!!

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C.A.

answers from San Diego on

They will have a medical plan as we do. Also they will need a pen JUST in case so they can administer it then call 911 then you. We have one for my daughter who could stop breathing just from an air bubble. But she can use water to press it back down until she gets home so this has helped us. (she has a gtube and fundoplication.) But school should be a fun thing for them not a fear so dont let on how you feel. Personally I am scared every day when my daughter goes on the bus but I know they know what to do and they will call em if something comes up and that they care for my daughter and shes safe with them. That just what you need to remind your self. School could be a great thing for little ones. My 3 yr old LOVES school she waiting to go and cant wait even. LOL I hope this helps you. We also have banana allergy so we made sure they tell kids and others not to offer her stuff and to check packages before serving food to her. She still will eat them shes only 3 after all. :)

Good luck.

Also check with YMCA for referrals for preschools and also check with the BBB, and the school board.

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M.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Wow, J.. I think Lise's post hit the nail on the head. As I've written here before, a teacher gave my son a cookie with peanut in it and nearly killed him. It was the first day in the class and I'd stayed to see how things would go (after explaining all my son's allergies in DETAIL). I had seen the cookies handed out and asked her if she'd checked the ingredients. She said, "No, but they're fine." I said to my son, "Don't touch it, I'm going to go check." By the time I got back from the kitchens, it was an emergency situation. While I was gone, she'd told him to hurry up and eat it since he was delaying everyone else and he ate it out of embarassment and fear (he was a little three-year-old at the time). Yes, that is a weird, maybe once-in-a-lifetime scenario, but if I hadn't been there, it would've been too late.

I believe it is possible to find a school where they will be vigilant and positive about your child's condition. It'll just take a lot of hard work from you...up front and with constant reminders. In my case, there were so few options (and with that one major bad experience under our belts), we chose to homeschool instead.

I wish you and yours the very best,

M.

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D.L.

answers from Reno on

At my boys' preschool, the staff hung pictures of the kids on the fridge above a list of their allergies. They also had meetings with the parents and staff to go over what to do in certain situations. My son and another child had seizures so, in addition to pictures, the school had their emergency medical kits and an emergency plan in place for them. (We also had a documented paramedic response time and chose a good preschool that was less than 3 minutes from a hospital.) And of course, make sure your son knows only to eat his own food and maybe provide a list of "ok" snacks for the school (or send his own). Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with the other moms until your son can communicate and fully understand what he can or can't have I wouldn't take a chance. If you really want to get him in a school try one that you can be with him Horizon Hills is a great school that has parent involement. And make sure you tell everyone about the allergy and how severe it is. Talk with the teacher & principle and ask what can be done to ensure his safety. Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Here is a link, for kids medical safety bracelets you might find useful:
http://www.mypreciouskid.com/medical-id-bracelet.html

YOu best see what the school's policy is regarding this.

My daughter's school for example, has a strict, "no peanuts, no nuts or tree nuts" policy... which means NO ONE can bring to school or serve anything with nuts in it in any way. There are also teacher's there which are "approved" for giving epinephrine shots in emergencies, in case of accidental exposure to the allergenic substance.

You son, per his Doctor, may/should be able to have a Doctor's note and/or Epinephrine shot with him at school at all times, as a precaution. As you know, this can be a serious reaction if it occurs.

If your son's school does not have such a policy in place... they are liable for things, I imagine. Also, it will possibly impact your son.

This will not only affect him in preschool, but in Elementary school as well, and onward. So , it's best to research and look into any school, ahead of time, that he may possibly be attending. ALSO in any public place... always carry your epi-pen.. .you never know who or what or when anyone will have any sesame residue on them or around the premises.

At his age, you can also start to teach him how to say and tell people/teachers that he is allergic to sesame seeds. This will serve him well in the future.

My daughter has an allergy to Kiwi fruit... which is also a highly allergenic food... if consumed. And it brings on the same reactions your son has to sesame seeds, but can also cause swelling in the throat & a prickly pain in the mouth, thus asphixiation. With us, my daughter knows so she does not eat Kiwi... and we notify any school she attends. She can also tell people this herself, since we taught her, if we are not with her. This has worked out for us.

REALLY see what your school's policy is... and yes though, if a child comes from home after ingesting or eating or touching any sesame seeds... it can possibly affect your son. So, it's hard to control what people do at home, before coming to school.

Good luck,
Susan

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