Working with a "Strong Willed" Room Mom

Maybe tell her you could do a healthy snack as well as the usual candy treats. I would hope that each kid already has a toothbrush at home.

I understand the idea of cutting back on the sweets at school ( especially the birthday treats), but this is halloween and candy is part of it.

I would tell here that she can make a list of suggestions and you will too. And I would bring some candy just in case all the kids get are toothbrushes

Goodness, how ridiculous. This healthy food thing at school has gotten way out of hand, in my opinion. A treat should be just that, a treat. And that means sugar (should I put that is the "bad word" category and put an asterick in it when I type?? :) )- as they don't get cookies and cupcakes at home much. I think that if you keep something from kids, they just want it more. When they are older, they will rebel and eat a cookie or candy all they want when you are not there. Then, they won't know how to eat it in moderation and get fat. You teach them to make proper choices and have good physical activity. The school parties and birthday parties are fun and should not have restrictions on them in my opinion.

I would consult your school parent handbook on their food policy. Our public school this year has gone on the no sugar bandwagon as well. So, I am stuck following their rules of no sugar laden things. I posted a thread on mamasource on preschool healthy treats about a month back and got some good ideas. I am going to make a fun fruit pizza. With cream cheese and I am going to make a Halloween type picture out of the fruit. I think the kids will like this- I think your kids would like it too- who doesn't like pizza??. I saw some fun, healthy ideas on:

http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/special/specialfeature/ha...

As far as how to deal with this mom, I don't know. I am not big into confrontation. I would just tell her that you are following the school parent handbook on treats and tell her what you are making. Then, change the subject to some other detail on the party- decorations, games, etc. Stand firm and don't let her push you over on your snack idea. If she wants toothbrushes (ok?????), then she can handle asking parents for that part. You should just make sure that you handle the sugar side, and she can handle the healthy side. Combine the two, and give the kids choices. Kids love to pick what they want, and both sides of the debate are happy. That is my opinion. Good luck!

I sort of agree with the food/candy thing. I was a teacher for 6 years and it can get a little overboard. However, you could pass out one candy item and the others could be healthy or Halloween related. Some ideas I could think of...

Halloween themed...
Popcorn balls
pencils
erasers
playdoh (saw them at Sams)
cups
straws
folders
caramel apples (at least it is fruit)
little pumpkins (they could decorate)

Check the dollar store...always full of holiday items

Also you can make Halloween themed food without it being candy check around on websites or look at the little recipe books at the cash register line at the grocery store.

You stand your ground, politely, and persistantly! Get information on other home room moms, and find out what ideas they can give you. Talk to the principal, and let her/him know your ideas, and your feelings. She can be against "sugar", but, that is a personal problem, and has no bearing in a Halloween party. If she is against "sugar", maybe she should back out of this party, because like it or not, it is for kids, and it is Halloween. Handing out toothbrushes, is completely ridiculous, no doubt. I personally would bring treats, whether she liked it or not. I watched OPRAH, yesterday, and she had on Jerry Seinfield's wife ( Jessica?), and she has written a book, a recipe book, with very cool treats, that are haelthy, but delicious. You might want to look into that, too. There are many bullies in this world. Don't let her, become your bully! Good Luck.

She's against sugar but wants parents to donate juice. Interesting.

I feel for you. Good luck with this one! And, I'm sorry, this trend of "killing every holiday in the name of nutrition" is a bit overboard in my opinion. You're right - they should have some sort of snack and even perhaps *gasp* a piece of candy.

If you can find a way to do it, perhaps have a conversation with her about teaching children about "special occasions" where it is okay to indulge a little bit (not overindulge). Tell her that while you respect her viewpoint, you come from the perspective that Halloween is a holiday where children look forward to treats, <not yet another lecture about how everything in the universe is bad for them>...wait, don't say that; that's just me being annoyed with this audacious woman! But do push for a compromise - the kids (and likely most of their parents who don't have to buy freaking toothbrushes) will thank you for it.

How about something centered on a 'Halloween Harvest' theme, complete with apples and apple cider/juice (see - there's the juice she wants!), pumpkin treats (cookies, muffins, roasted seeds), candy corn, etc. as an alternative?

Maybe you could ask the teacher how the other mommys feel about the celebration within that classroom, there's enough time to feel it out. Of course all moms like their kids to have healthy treats, but on these fun holidays there is'nt anything wrong w/ passing out treats. Never heard of any of my very organic/granolay friends throwing away the treats after only one piece, but it's every mom's perogative to take care of their children how they see fit, so no harm done there, buttttt it's every kid's party, not just that one mommy's kid, so the whole toothbrush idea is just too way-out. I am a mostly (not really, but mostly) organic mom and find ways around the sugar thing, but i also believe that candy goes with halloween, xmas, easter... and there's a balance between it all, so long as moderation, then what's the harm? And yes, as i've seen the other posts, hopefully all the kids already have toothbrushes :) In your case, were it me, I'd suggest you take a room poll of all parents, and maybe have the healthfood treat mommies provide the granola, and the candy moms provide the candy. The kids don't need to know what they're getting and it doesn't need to be made into a big deal. Ihope when my kids are old enough, I don't have to wrangle wills w/ the other moms, but being a daycare provider, I am already used to the different parenting styles we all have. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!!! Be flexible and try not to lose patience with this other, seemingly inflexible, mommy. Who knows, if you talk w/ her about this, mabye she'll be a little flexible...

I too am one of those crazy moms that doesn't let her kid have much sugar. However sugar substitutes are just as bad... actually worse! I do think this is a personal preference but I do go crazy at how much junk my kids gets at school! Between 25 kids in a class with birthdays, and a holiday every month they get a crapload of sugar that is really bad for the kids! Now the kids should have fun at Halloween but there are some things to do with some creativity.

There are lots of things out there though 100% juice has sugar but also other vitamins and nutrirional value in it. I think a toothbrush is a bit crazy however my kids LOVE getting new toothbrushes so if you find one decorated halloween style may be cute. Apples are alway great (This does have natural sugar in it). Other "non-sugar" items... pencils, foam crafts, erasers, color books (you can get these cheap). those flashy pumpkins for trick or treating, granola bars, they are like candy bars however some have other nutritional value in them. My kids got these glow in the dark slap bracelets from the police dept they are VERY cool that may even be free if you call the fire or police dept.

It is Halloween and you can always tell her you want to give candy. As a mom I let my kids have one piece out of their bag and I throw all the rest of the treats away. Most moms I know do this too. So knowing that how much candy do you want to hand out?

I hope this helps... I already can tell by the posts that I am the outcast but I felt maybe you woudl want to hear from the other side!

F.

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I'm going w/the moms that are for giving treats.
Iwas a room mom for years for my son who is now 14. We had every mom in the class choose something they wanted to donate and let me tell you everyone gave treats consisting of SUGAR!!!!!!!!! that's what(most) kids live for at that age when having a ____@____.com son ate alot of sugary treats and unfortunately still does when he's out w/ friends,BUT he doesn't have a cavity in his mouth why because I made sure he brushed his teeth every day and night. He goes for checkups on a regular basis.
So let her do whatever she thinks she wants to do and you be the great ROOM MOM and bring on the goodies for this halloween party they so deserve.

I think you need to tell this woman that it's all about BALANCE! Good luck!

I don't think there is anything wrong with someone donating toothbrushes, or even some cool flossers or flavored floss, but there should be other things as well.
As a mom who has a daughter with allergies, let me say that I always appreciate the moms who go above and beyond to provide non-food items for times like these. I think for 4th grade, that would be fairly easy to do... look in the Halloween aisles at local stores (Walmart, Family Dollar, etc) or in the party favor section.
Glow-sticks, mini-pumpkins, coupons for bowling or skating etc, erasers, cool pens or pencils... all of those things are items that kids can be excited about at that age without being piled upon with candy.

My 2c
M.

Give more than one offering, such as a choice between candy or a toothbrush. Let the kids decide what they want for Halloween, while providing something for everyone's tastes.

I'm going to guess that most, if not all, of the kids will pick the candy. She gets her toothbrushes, the kids still get to celebrate Halloween in a traditional way, and everyone is happy.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with candy at Halloween. Everything in moderation.

I love the idea of toothbrushes, if you can find them cheaply enough (they're like $2.99 each!) But toothbrushes should be given along with the candy and other treats.

It makes no sense to ask each parent to donate one item. If you're going to do something like that, have each parent donate a couple of dollars and buy in bulk.

I wouldn't go around trying to get other parents involved in the dispute or asking for a vote - it will just cause bad feelings. Just stand your ground and keep repeating that you think it's important for kids to have treats as well as healthy choices (like pencils or tattoos or other little non-food items.) As long as the kids have treats too, she can go for it with the healthy stuff.

Good Grief! I completely respect moms who are of her nature but I feel the problem isn't so much the junk they get at parties and holiday time as it is they don't get enough physical activity. My father was an exec for Nabisco and growing up we had more junk in our house than you could fathom. None of us are obese - in fact we're quite heathy...because we're active. It was never a big deal to have junk food so we didn't over indulge. I think making sugar off limits to kids just makes them want it more. Research shows restricting food items actually does lead to overeating...I just saw that on Oprah with Dr Oz this week. I agree with the post of making more than one option available to keep this woman off your back...I totally feel for you.

Toothbrushes-come on-hopefully all the kids already have them. I would tell the mom that Halloween is for treats and LOTS OF SUGAR!!! I think if you had juice and halloween cut out cookies-that would be great. She wants juice which is FULL of sugar but wants to give out toothbrushes. I feel sorry for his ladies child! I can still remember Halloween and Christmas parties at school and treats were always a part of those. It is not like you are giving this stuff out daily- it is a special treat and she and other mothers that I know need to accept giving "treats" to kids on these days.

Somehow nicely get it across that although you understand her stance on it, that the position is to assist all kids in the class and that not all parents may agree with it so it should be phrased as "We'd like to give the option to donate...." vs. I am against this and therefore this is what we're doing...

oh man, i feel for you....

maybe suggest that she takes care of the snacks and that kind of stuff and you take care of the games or craft.
my kids go to a small school where(gasp)we can still bring homemade goodies(our entire schoolK-8 only has about 300 kids, so everybody knows everybody)Thank goodness too because my mom makes homemade chocolates. I do know that a lot of bigger schools in our area do not allow sweets as snack for any reason and one of my friends even said they cannot do any crafts or send in any snack for the party. Anyway just try to find some common ground and remember it's for the children. Maybe her husband is a dentist?

S.,

Halloween is a time when the children are to get goodies not toothbrushes. If this other mom wants to donate toothbrushes let her. I to would talk with the other room moms and inquire to them what they will be doing for their party. Cand and Halloween are a thing that are meant to go together. Always has and always will. She wants a "sugar free" explain to her in a nice way that the children look forward to their Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day parties. They have always been with "sugar filled" goodies.

Maybe she should back out of being the room mom, and she shouldn't have say in what the party should be. Candy yeah !!

J.
www.noahbyjodi.com