Working Moms - Youngstown,OH

Thank You for acknowleding us in a postive way M.!

I have no other choice, but to do it. Being a single mom, if I don't, then no one will. The only thing I have that helps is a cleaner come in every other week. Other then that, I do everything, plus work 40+hrs a week on 2nd shift.

I get stressed out, annoyed, irritated, pissed off...you name it, I get it. And once in awhile, I will take it out on my daughter (by yelling) and I feel bad. But, she knows I love her and hopefully (even tho shes only 2) she knows I don't mean it. Lately, my mom has been helping with her, since shes laid off for 6 weeks. But, it sucks too, because thats just less time I get to spend w/ my DD.

Thank you! I really don't know How I do it some days actually, but I just keep going because I love my family!

Thank you M.,
I appreciate your post.

In my case, I made decision early on that my son was the most important "thing" in my life. To raise him well, and I mean emotionally and financially, I needed to be the best that I could be. That meant giving 110% to work and 110% to him. I also made a conscious decision to let the little things slide sometimes. So, maybe I don't have the Martha Stewart house, and maybe the dishes soak in the sink overnight, and the laundry may pile up, and the floors only get mopped once a week, but spending time with him, especially when he was younger, after work was much more important.

What I hope he will take from memories of his childhood is a mother with a strong work ethic and a mother that always had time to play with him, talk to him, and love him.

I remember once, I worked a golf fundraiser all day from like 6am, and he had a band concert that night at 6pm, just about when the tournament would be over. I had a friend pick him up from school and turn him around for the concert, and at 6pm booked out of the tourney, raced the 50 miles back to his school, and dashed in all disheveled and, frankly, kinda' sweaty (it was a summer event). My friend had a saved a seat right in front of his band...he looked up and saw me and the biggest smile lite his face. Those are the moments I live for.

God Bless

I start each day with a prayer =)

I married an incredible man who jumps in with both feet to help, without imposing expectations on me or complaining. We tag team everything.

I cling to my faith in a God who provides for our needs, including that of a sitter who would love my son like family, commit herself to his education (both academic, spiritual and moral) and be affordable! ... Including for mercy and grace for my son to benefit from his relationships rather than be traumatized by the times I'm not with him. And I trust that He will lead me to the opportunities that will be best for our family by closing / opening doors as needed. He has always been faithful, even when it has been hard, so I know my trust is not misplaced.

I focus on the positive by counting my blessings daily - for a job that helps to pay all of our bills, for a son who is happy and well-adjusted, for colleagues who are friends and fellow working moms, for bosses who value and respect family and for my own family who is supportive and helpful.

I make sure to take care of myself by exercising,even when I don't feel like it, because it recharges me, gives me energy and improves my attitude

I hung in there when it seemed impossible and intolerable - I waited it out until I had the chance to see my family fall into a blessed rhythm that actually worked to all of our benefit. It can be done.

Thank you so much for your post. I know moms in both situations can feel judged, and I have been feeling this lately. Then when I consider all of the above, I feel confident, thankful and blessed by our life. Thank you for your support and blessings!

God bless you and your family, too. =)

When I was a stay at home mom we all made sure the kids of the working moms were taken care of. In other words, if they needed a ride to soccer practice one of us took them. If there was something after school that they missed carpool we made sure they got home. It was no big deal and more it was the right thing to do.

Then again back in the day we didn't look at things as us against them we looked at it as how do we best raise kids. After all their kids were our kids friends. Try to explain to a child, in a way that doesn't sound petty, well they work but they should be there for their own kids.

On the flip side they were the ones to bankroll a lot of extras. They knew we didn't have a lot of extra bank because we were home with our kids.

I work now and I see no such thing in existence with my younger two. I am so glad when my cape arrived, now I can do it all using my super powers. :p

I am not complaining, just wondering out loud what happened. I can still call on my old friends for favors even though their kids are out on their own now. Kinda sad for the next generation. :(

thank you for the props! we do get negativity a lot, you're right! :)
you're very sweet to post this, thank you. i'm a single working mama. my money's strapped. i don't buy myself stuff, except makeup/toiletries. i do about 1-2 hrs of cleaning on wknds, however, my house imo is NEVER presentable to the point i'd like it to be. i have a sweet 2.5 yr old that follows me EVERYWHERE so things are misplaced all the time & not where they should be! (we're both scatterbrained though - lol). the evenings are the WORST. dinner is usually thrown together, sometimes Gerber graduates & a veggie or Pediasure is what he gets. sometimes i have the forethought to meal prep BEFORE it's time to eat, duh! but if i don't, it's next to impossible to fix & eat dinner when i get home, spend quality time, bathe, stories, bed. by 8p when he goes to bed i am WIPED out. which then makes it hard for me to work on me...like exercising or journaling, b/c i'm too tired. but that's okay, it is what it is, right? :) it's a daily struggle of balance every day. every morning i wake up & thank God for my boy, my sweet dog, my house, my working car, my job that i love & my boss that's understanding since my child gets sick on & off pretty frequently. there's NO respite. i have to actually make myself take him to the drop in daycare center every once in awhile on the wknds so i can get a break. sounds awful to most moms i'm sure, but there's no rest for the weary (no parents, family, friends that can do it, etc) so i HAVE to make the time & just pray he's not in therapy for life b/c of me, lol. sometimes i get jealous of SAHMs, but i don't have an option so that's wasted energy. not gonna remarry & will never hit the lotto b/c i don't play it so...this is my crazy, tired, overwhelmed, sometimes guilty, sometimes frustrating, but always blessed life! anyway, looks like we all appreciate your comment. thank you. we're all just doing the best we can, y'know?! :) hope you have a good day!

when you have to do it, you do it :) i am soo busy with work and the kids i find now when i have more than a day off i dont know what to do, so lost, lol...

Starbucks, helpful husband, great job and a cleaning lady.

Thanks M.. F.!. I have two children and I work full time. I actually envy the SAHM's sometime. I know you guys have it tough too but at least you get to spend more time with your children. Ah yes, the grass is always greener on the other side.
I am in a routine now with the children and work. I have much support too from family etc. It feels good knowing I am teaching my children that working outside of the home can be rewarding too!

Thank you for the post! I would also like to acknowledge how hard it must be to be a SAHM as well. I have a hard time taking the kids everywhere with me on the weekend and trying to get the housework done. You do it every day. Kudos to you too!
Like CW said, sometimes the cleaning just doesn't get done. My husband and I each have 1 hour commutes to and from work. I am the one who takes the kids to school and picks them up every day. I am the one who gets supper prepared and on the table by the time he gets home at 6:15. I plan my meals out a week in advance and have a schedule on the fridge. My husband or I cleans the kitchen while the other plays/bathes the kids. I take a free, 1 hour Zumba class 1-2 times a week just to keep my sanity...and it makes me feel good too. The laundry usually waits until Friday night and is finished Saturday. The house gets a basic pick up during the week. But a lot just doesn't get done. And I don't care! We get so little time with our boys that every second is precious.
Thanks again and God Bless!

Well thanks :)
I honestly think whether you are a SAHM or a working mom.. the job is NEVER easy! I was not made to be a SAHM and I'm ok with that. Unfortunately for me, I was also wired to have a clean house 24/7. My husband & I have 6 kids between us, with 5 still at home. They range from 15 (twins) to 6. 4 of the 5 are VERY active in sports, so basically we are on the go pretty often. Luckily, my commute is only 15 mins and I work 7-4, which helps. My husband is just as hands on as I am as well, and that is extreme help. Sometimes, dinner is very quick and on the go, sometimes we don't get to eat until after 8 (which I can't stand), sometimes I don't get to clean the way I want, but the house does get picked up everyday. Everyone pitches in, even the 6 yr old. Everyone helps around the house, some days it doesn't happen like I want, but I've learned to let it go. I try to do my big cleaning on any open time we have on the weekends, if we have any. Our winter is a slower time, so things are less hetic but still. You just do it. It's not always easy, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Thanks for realizing its h*** o* both ends. I personally would go crazy staying at home.. but its all about choice!

coffee, my child
coffee !!
thats how you work part time and take care of a child full time, nobody said it was going to easy, and thats ok,
i didnt sign up for easy
you dont clean the house on your day off, you simply put the baby in the swing, and then you do the fun things like run the vacuum, clean the bathroom, do laundry, you know, the easy stuff
K. h.

You are sweet. Thank you. It can be really hard and exhausting. I always wish for more time with my daughter and sometimes feel guilty and sad I have to work full time. But as my dad said to me, part of being a parent is making sure your child has food on the table and a roof over their head. I do that and try to be everything else, too. My daughter is worth it, and I just remember that before I know it she'll be grown up, so I treasure the time I have now.

How I manage is to pretty much sacrifice any "me time" (I try to grab a little after daughter goes to bed) and to sometimes let my house be messy. Otherwise, you just do what you have to, like any other mom.

I go to college full time in engineering which is a flippin job lol. I commute an hour and go to college all day and commute an hr back. and do all the other home and child stuff. I use my downtime when my daughter is having her tv time (kai-lan before bed) or after she goes to bed :) I do a little bit at a time with cleaning outside stuff like dishes (daily) and laundry (once a week unless she gets an outfit horribly dirty) and picking up toys or what not off the floor.

I'm actually more productive at home....as a working mom!

I was slothlike when I was a SAHM....but being with my sons the 1st couple of years was more important than remembering to moooooove. !!

Help. Lots of help.

Well, you just have to do it. I have cleaning weekend every other weekend, that way I have free time to do other things. I tidy up during the week but on cleaning weekends, I clean the bathrooms, dishes, mop the kitchen floor and living room cleanup. I've been trying to get up when I wake up to do some around the house stuff. By the way, nice summer weather trumps cleaning but I split up the days like bathrooms saturday and then Kitchen on Sunday.
We get negativity because be aren't chasing kids around all day every day. Its a break from our kids and we don't have the messes to clean up every day like they do. Its ok, I can handle the negativity. You don't know what some people go through until you wear their shoes.
Thanks for the support.

I was given a very good piece of advice while I was still pregnant and that was, "You don't have to be super mom but be the mom your child will grow and learn from and love." Just as I learned to pick my battles with my toddler, I also learned to pick my priorities. Even though I was married, I was very much a single mom in the sense that I literally had to do it all, therefore there were times my home was not "visitor ready", or times when I just had to limit my son to one extra curricular activity per season, or the Christmas cards didn't get sent on time. My motto is...if God brings you to it, He will see you through it! He hasn't let me down yet. But I must confess, getting sick is not an option so please take the time to take care of yourself along the way! Take the me time when possible to destress. I would go to the gym or get my nails done. Now that my son is 16 and helping so much around the house, I realize the small sacrifices were so worth it and I would do it all over again!

Thank you very much.... I wouldn't know life any other way. I went to college with a goal to have a career and kids came after college, career and marriage. I do have to say that I have a wonderful husband who helps with the "mommy" responsibilities. He does a few loads of laundry before the week is up, cleans the floors and house on Friday's with our daughters, etc. We even take turns with showers and brushing teeth at bedtime. This way we can enjoy each other and do special things on the weekends. I have to give you respect back; as I would not be a very good stay at home mom. I am motivated to get certain things done when I get home from work to make sure the next day goes smooth; I'm not sure that if I stayed at home if I'd have that motivation.

the cleaning just doesn't get done! something has to give.

I just finished my last job. What really helped was to pay for enough childcare so that I had some downtime.

Thanks M. for your post and for all the wonderful women that responded! It was refreshing to read a post that was positive and supportive of moms whether we work exclusively in the home or also work out of the home.

For me personally when I found out I was pregnant with our second I knew I could not do everything myself anymore. So I hired someone to come in every week for three hours and clean my house. I had a hard time paying someone to do something I was perfectly capable of doing yet realized I could not keep up anymore with a 2nd on the way. We don't have family in town so it's worth the $45 a week to not worry about it anymore! I've also taken some help at the grocery store when I can like buying pre-cut veggies or the rotisserie chicken.

Well thank you so much! But I didn'tknow we got a hard time about it! I would like to take this opportunity to tell everyone that I did the once-a-month cooking thing today ( excluding weekends)! I just hope the kids will eat it now. I am so looking forward to getting home in the evenings, pouring a nice glass of Australian Shiraz, and pulling out a fully cooked meal ready to eat. I heard about it right here on mamapedia. I would also like to say I found it more frustrating being a SAHM, and that I am a better mother for working full time. That's just me mind you, may not work for everyone :-)