Working Mom Wonders: How Much Time Is Enough Time?

It's all about quality, not quantity. If the time you spend with your baby is focused and she is the center of your universe at the time, it's quality time, whether it's 15 minutes or 15 hours. If you're spending 15 hours with your baby but not really focused on her (doing other things) then maybe it's less quality.

Having said that, don't feel like EVERY minute must be quality time. You still have a life to lead and a household to run. But, as long as your daughter knows you love her and will be there when she needs you, you're golden.

I've taught 7-12 grades for 20 years now. I've had students who were awful come from both SAHM families and working parent families. I've had an equal number of great students come from SAHM families and working families. No one "family type" makes better students.

Bottom line...happy moms make happy babies. If you're home and you're miserable, you're not doing your daughter any good. If you're at work and your miserable, again, you're not doing your daughter any favors. When you're away, enjoy being away. When you're home, enjoy being at home. Guilt doesn't do anybody any good at all.

Good luck!

Honestly, the formula is love your daughter, make sure she's cared for, and wing the rest.

I believe in quality time, but that doesn't mean that you have to come home from work and build endless lego castles, have three hour bubble baths, do flashcards, etc. It means that you sing with her while you fold the laundry. You eat dinner at the same time. You give her a pot to bang at your feet while you throw together the umpteenth mac and cheese. You bring her with you to the grocery store and talk about what you're buying. Let her hang out at the foot of the tub while you take a shower. "Quality time" is time where you're making it clear that you're enjoying being with your daughter.

I honestly don't think I could truly enjoy being with my kids all day every day. I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. But no doubt my kids know that I love them to bits because when I am with them I want to be there, even if all of my attention isn't focused on them. I am sure you and your daughter will do great.

Good luck.

I think the most important thing about being a working mom or any mom for that matter is not about the quantity of time you are with you child(ren) but the quality of time.

For example as much as I like to just come home from work and unwind, I have two little girls with so much excitement standing at the door just waiting to pounce on me. I look around the room, dishes need to be done, laundry needs to get done, the living room needs to get picked up and wow when was the last time I scrubbed the bath tub? But all those things stand at the wayside as I listen about their day, cook dinner together, play a board game or whatever else they have on their minds. I find all that stuff can either wait until later or perhaps after they've gone to bed, even if that means I don't get much sleep.

You can be home all day with your children, but if all your doing for those 8 hours is picking up the house, doing laundry, washing dishes, or on the computer. (And for the record I'm not saying this is all SAHM's do.) Its really the same as you or I being at work. So don't concentrate on the amount of time you are with your child but the quality of that time when you are with them. At 13 weeks, you've got it pretty easy. Most of that involves feeding, diapering and putting to sleep...but soon enough that evolves to talking, playing on the floor to eventually playing a board game and so on.

Good luck and congrats on your first!

As fellow working mom I can tell you that you are not alone in your wondering. I think any time you spend is "quality time" make sure when you are there you are all there. The quality changes from holding and rocking to nightime reading to sunday afternoon movies and the laundry and housework waits until they go to bed. But as long as you are there when they need you, just to talk watch a movie or hang out on the couch for a while. It is not easy and there is juggling involved but you will get through

Being there when she is awake is enough quality time. You want her to bond to you, not your nanny or any other hired help, no matter how wonderful they are with your baby.

Its tough to feel the need to work and to love a child enough to be with them when they need you. Its wonderful to see them take their first steps or be there when they develop a smile or respond to when you first find a tickle spot. And, of course, you want to be the first one to hear them attempt to say "Mama".

Almost everyone now feels its necessary to have two incomes to maintain a household and pay for all the "adult toys" everyone can't seem to do without. Everyone wants to live in the biggest house in the nicest neighborhood two incomes can afford. It used to be the same, but what one income could afford. We limit our family size because of taxes and expenses and limit our family time because "we only want the best" for our families. Some times we should really ask ourselves, "Does everyone in the family really need a laptop? Do we really need an X-Box 360, a Wii and every other game system available? Do we really need that new Lexus, Mercedes, ATV/quad or can we make do for a couple more years?" If you lived on one income and saved and invested 100% of your "second" income for the two years, you'd be surprised what you could accomplish and be able to devote the right amount of time to your children. "There is no success that can compensate for a failure in the home".

FYI: My truck is 7 years old and my wife's car is 8 and we haven't made a payment in years. Our only bill left is our home and the perpetuals (insurance, taxes, utilities).

Good luck to you and yours.

That is a good question? I am looking forward to hearing some of the responses!
I am a full time worker also for me personally I think I get bothered more by asking myself is this enough time? I see it as balance in order for me to keep a house over our heads and food on the table I need to work so I work, when my kids are sick I am there with them. A mothers love is always enough and when a child don't feel it you'll know. On weekends we always do something for all of us. My 7 year old gets time on her own every now and then. My 2 two year olds every once and a while also will get time alone. When we get alone with them each one of them can talk off our ears non stop!! We also have game night we kinda our 7 year old gets to pick what it will be.
I don't think I could anwer that if i tried!!!! But for me as long as all my kids and our needs are meet then I quit worring about how much time is enough.

I know how you feel, and what you tell yourself is that every touch, every moment she hears your voice is more valuable than the calculation of a formula or time. A person can be in a house for 24 hours and never touched or talked and someone who works can make so much use of the time they do NOT have by spending every extra moment hugging, touching, talking, kissing and whatever makes the other person feel loved and secured. You are doing great by just wanting to spend quality time with your baby. Release yourself from the guilt while I try to do the same :-))

Any time is enough time as long as it is quality time. I went through this myself -- had to go back to work with my babies at 12 weeks due to leave running out. My 1st born slept through the night at 12 weeks (she was bottle fed breastmilk due to faulty latch) so I only saw her mornings and evenings from 6-whenever she settled down for the night and often she took a third nap in the middle of the evening. With my 2nd, I saw him every morning and evening from 545 on and he got up to nurse 2-3 times a night till he was 9 months old...so I saw him more. I spent a lot of time with both of my babies during the weekends and eventually hired a maid to do the house cleaning so I didn't spend all my weekends cleaning the house (of course I still had mounds of laundry to do). I am currently prego with #3. My MIL gives me grief about being a working mom (she stayed home with all 5 of her kids and only worked 2 years as a french teacher when they were older), but I am OK with it. I know that we need the double income and though they miss me (my daughter is 3.5 and tells me EVERY DAY when I come home), I try not to get lost in the day and spend that extra time cuddling, reading to them, playing with them, etc. in the evenings. I often cook during naps on the weekends and we eat leftovers during the week or I cook meals for my husband and I during the weekdays AFTER the kids go to bed. It helps. Rest assured, there is no "formula" of hours for what makes a good mom -- just relax, enjoy the time with your baby and take tons of pics and video -- they won't stay that size forever ;)

Best wishes,
A

There is no answer to this question. It is mom guilt and it will never feel like enough. On weekdays I hate how little time there is, then on weekends, I feel the guilt of, yes, they were with me, but we were grocery shopping, and was it really quality time.

You are doing what you need to do to take care of your baby. At 13 weeks, it is still really rough, and I won't lie and say how great it is later on. Just know that she is getting great care, and is loved. She knows who her mommy is.

There is no such thing as enough time. Do the best you can and stop beating yourself up.

I have been a full time working mom the whole time I've been a mom! I had such guilt when I went back to work after the first one. What I quickly learned was to have quality, not quantity.

I made rituals that was "my time" with my kids. I still do these things. Story time is mine. I read books to both my girls individually, say prayers, sing lullabys and have that quiet time with each of them every night. We have lots of other rituals that are "our special time," but that is just one example.

Do the best you can, and hardest of all, be satisfied with knowing you are doing the best you can.