Working for a Neighbor?

Updated on July 21, 2014
C.M. asks from Harpers Ferry, WV
9 answers

Hi! So I have worked at a preschool for the last 2 years, but I was told the other day that I will not be offered a contract for the up coming school year :( I am very sad about that. My husband went over our budget and he said that I wouldn't need to work full time, we can make it just fine with me working only part time. My kids are both school age so I don't have to worry about little ones in the house anymore. I live in an awesome neighborhood where everyone is very close. There are 16 kids on my street alone and they all go outside and play while the adults sit and talk on the driveways. My 1 neighbor said that her husband is now the new manager at a local coffee shop down the street (literally about a mile away, I could walk there) and he is looking for a few different positions to fill there. Do you think it would be weird to have my neighbor as my boss? My son plays with his son pretty much daily. I've babysat their daughter. We see them at the pool. I think it would be nice to work so close to home, but if anything ever didn't work out where I quit or he let me go, do you think it might be akward to be neighbors? My mom said I should never mix work and friends, and my husband said that everything would be fine. My husband thinks that he will be more understanding of my schedule because he knows we have 2 kids (they have 5 but 2 are grown and out of the house). I'm only thinking of this as maybe a backup plan. I plan tomorrow to go to different preschools and drop off my resume because that's what I love, but if nothing happens, then I was considering talking to my neighbor about hiring me. What do you think? Yes do it, or no it would be a very bad idea.

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Well the reason they are not renewing my contract is because I also had my kids in that school and we had a conflict with their teacher. Some issues came up with their teacher yelling a lot. We all sat down and had a meeting about it one day after school. In the end we decided to pull them out and put them back in public school for next year (this was a montessori school). They were very upset about my decision, even though I told them that I need to do what is best for my kids. My boss is letting me use her as a professional reference and sent me an e mail about what an amazing and positive teacher I was and that she knows I will find a new teaching position with no problem.
Pretty much they are upset about me pulling them out as they strongly want their teachers to 100% fully believe in the montessori way (which I do think montessori is amazing but I think traditional school will be better for my kids at this time) and I do, but they do not believe me since I have pulled my kids out. It has nothing to do with my hygiene (I shower and all that daily lol) and I am a very hard worker and got a long great with the kids and parents. I even went in on snow days to get work done. I know you didn't need an answer, but I'm sure you were maybe wondering a little. It's all good :)

those are all good points. My husband works nights so it would work out that if my kids are sick, then he is home to take care of them so I would not miss work for that reason. I did put my application in with the school district. It's really really hard to get in with our school district, so I'm not expecting anything out of it, but I did apply so maybe I'll hear something. That would be awesome though if I could get in!! But again, working at a coffee shop would be my last choice just because I'm looking for more of a career type job in a preschool since that is what I have my units for and I have about 7 years experience doing that. I also really love working with kids. Hopefully something will come up tomorrow when I drop of my resumes. Thanks!

Featured Answers

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

working for friends (and friendly acquaintances) can work out just fine so long as everyone keeps professional boundaries in place and doesn't assume privilege.
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful

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L.B.

answers from New Orleans on

I say go for it - close to home with the potential of flexible hours.

Apply for the job just like any other candidate. When you are interviewing with him, follow his lead - if brings up the neighbor connection, then speak of your concerns. If he keeps the interview strictly business related, then so do you.

I have worked for family and hired friends - as long as it was kept professional within the business environment - it worked out swell.

As long as you keep the professional side of your relationship with him separate from the neighbor side, it should be fine. Don't expect special treatment because you are a neighbor - that would alienate the other employees and possibly your boss(neighbor).

Good luck !!!!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it would be fine if he's someone you get along with. Just don't burn any bridges by not showing up and expecting special treatment because you're friends.

3 moms found this helpful
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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it should work.
The only issue I see is you are already expecting that "he will be more understanding of my schedule because he knows we have 2 kids ..."
No.
Be very clear from the get go--of course--with your availability.
From hiring on? You're just like any other employee.
Hopefully you'll find a preschool position but this could be a good back up or interim gig--again, be very up front if that's the case, too.

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It depends on your relationship with that family and it is totally your call. It could work out and be a great opportunity or it could completely fail and you lose friendships.

For me, I do not mix business with any family or friends.

Could you possibly substitute or be a teacher aide substitute in your children's school?

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Consider this, I mean it in the kindest way, please just think on this.

Are you a good employee? Why did you get terminated? Pre-school teachers are usually long term. Why did they terminate you? I don't want to know, that's for you to think on.

Do you show up to work either a half hour to 15 minutes early? Are you walking in the door the minute you're supposed to be working? I mean, geez, they said work 4-8 so I'm supposed to be there at 4 right? Not 10-15 minutes early to put my stuff up, put on my apron, go to the bathroom and then wash my hands, etc....are you a walk in the door at the exact moment you're supposed to be waiting on others or are you there and standing in place when the doors open?

Do you shower daily? Do you drown your body in fragrances? Do you even use deodorant? Do you wear goth make up or go bare naked on your face? Do you ever brush your tongue to get rid of bad breath? Do you raise your arms and those around you pass out??? Do you smoke and smell horrible all day? Do you wash your clothes in the same washer you wash cloth diapers in? Does your personal hygiene interfere with being able to do the job?

Do most of your clothes show your....beautiful cleavage????lol...emphasize your adorable hiney? look like a cute little school teacher with adorable cows and chickens and the alphabet all over your tops and jumpers?

Do you stand around chatting with every person you come in contact with? Do they know how many kids you have, what sports they play, that you argued with hubby last night, and what van you're thinking about buying next year?

Or do you stand there like a brick/board and grunt when a customer gives you their order? Never smiling or looking interesting in what they're saying?

Do you have the ability to know everything about every item on the menu and those that didn't make it there? If someone comes up and says I'm allergic to cinnamon can you tell them without a shadow of doubt which drinks they can drink? Do you know if a utensil has been in coffee or another drink that has cinnamon in it? If you don't have the mind for details like this think about how much danger that could be for someone that has allergies.

Do you feel comfortable asking someone that's been there longer for help? Do you have to do it all yourself? What if it's assigned to someone else? If you see a cup of coffee spill but you have customers what would you do? What if every other person in the building was busy and couldn't go wipe it up? Would you say Excuse me but that spill could cause someone to get hurt, hang on just a moment or just pretend to not see it?

I could go on but I'm sure you're thinking about a lot right now.

What I have seen with people that can't seem to stay employed, not saying this is you in any way, actually it's my daughter I'm thinking of right now...

She has been sent home from work, in a CALL CENTER, for not being dressed appropriately, to answer the phones...seriously. By the time she got through the call center she had about 5 men following behind flirting with her.

While she was a cashier at a local farm supply store she'd actually sit in her van putting on makeup until 8am. She was supposed to be at work at 8 so she'd sit around and wait to go in until 8. Then have to put her purse up, go wash the makeup off her hands, get her apron on, go in and count the money, etc....She could clock in up to 15 minutes early. The manager would have to work the register for sometimes 20 minutes for her to "get ready to go to work".

********************************

So, dig deep into yourself. Are you a good employee? Are you needing to work on some areas? Can you tell the neighbor if it doesn't work out for him to please let you know where you need to improve? If he simply walks up and fires you, how will you handle that? What if, what if, what if.

It's a lot to think about.

I think I'm a good employee, not great because I never remember people's names and I talk way too much. There is nothing hidden about my life!

But if a boss came to me and told me Please refrain from talking to the customers so much, it seems to be making most of them uncomfortable, also they're in a hurry to get somewhere and your visiting is holding up the line and .

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it might work out okay, IF you don't look for special treatment. For example, your hubby is already looking for special treatment - he thinks your boss will "be more understanding of my schedule because he knows we have 2 kids..." I bet others working there also have kids. You will be low man on the totem pole. Don't expect any special "understanding" or treatment or preferential scheduling. As long as you go in there with the attitude that you are the low man on the totem pole and acting as if you and the boss DON'T have a social relationship, it should be fine. Problems occur when the line between boss and employee becomes blurred.

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Personaly, I wouldn't risk it. What about summers and school holidays, would you still work at the coffee shop?

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Keep in mind that a neighbor-neighbor relationship is quite different from an employer-employee relationship. You may want to think about whether you (and he) can keep the two separate. If for some reason you quit working or were dismissed, would you still be able to be amicable neighbors?

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