Work Full Time, 2 Yr Old, 9 Wks Preg. W/#2, and Adopting a DOG? Am I Insane?

Updated on November 07, 2009
K.A. asks from Centreville, VA
8 answers

I think I've lost all my remaining marbles! I work full time as a high school teacher, have a 2 year old at home, and am 9 weeks pregnant with #2 (due 6/3/10). My husband and I have talked about wanting to adopt a dog for our children to grow up with. The woman who cares for our son is an adoption coordinator for the cocker rescue league in our area and has found the "perfect" dog for us. BUT.... am I totally insane to introduce a 3 year old cocker spaniel into my house right now?? My mother and my best friend both feel like I need to have my head examined for this one.... please tell me this can work out as a happily ever after? or tell me I'm nutz and need to halt this adoption NOW.....

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answers from Washington DC on

Yes. You're teetering on insane! Even Superwoman didn't have 2 kids and a new dog!! Think of all that a new dog entails. Be fair to the dog, be fair to your family and be fair to yourself. NO DOG!!! At least until summer 2011. Perhaps for your new baby's first birthday? That would be cute!!




answers from Washington DC on

I would hold off in my situation. I work full-time, go to school part-time online for my masters, and have 4 kids; 6, 4, 2, and 43 - haha, yes, the husband counts as one!! I can't imagine bringing any more responsibility on myself right now. You are going to have a toddler and a new baby, that is a challenge (though a great one!) in itself. I think adding a dog to the mix will be so hard. But if you have the patience for it, I also think they are good for kids. But no, I would wait if it were me :).

We were going to get a dog when our last one turned 2. He will be 3 in March and we are still months away from being ready to start looking!!



answers from Washington DC on

I would hold off on the dog adoption. I was pregnant with our first child when my cat died. Contrary to everyone's advice, I adopted a replacement. I love him and both of our kids love him and play with him, but I feel guilty that he doesn't get nearly as much attention as the pre-kid days. If something were to happen to him, I think we would hold off getting a new one until the kids were older.

A dog is a lot more work than a cat and you haven't been caring for a dog this entire time. I think you should at least wait until #2 arrives and then assess your family's commitments and whether a dog will fit.



answers from Washington DC on

I'm not thinking about you or your kids. I think it is unfair to this dog, who has already had a hard life, to introduce him to your home at this time. What if he needs special attention? What if he has health issues? What if he regresses or has separation anxiety? He deserves your full attention and not risking that he would need to go to yet another home. I know lots of people who have had to return rescue dogs for various reasons - I can't say I agree wiht doing so - but if there is the slightest changce it might happen, I say "No dog!"

By the way, have you had a dog ever? I grew up with dogs, and I am waiting until my kids are old enough to help - walk the dog safely, give the dog a bath, feed the dog as a chore, groom the dog several times a week and vacuum the shedded hair, etc. If you have never had to take care of a dog before, you need to educate yourselves about care and vet costs. A dog is not just a prop in family photos, he should be part of the family. I don't mean that as critically as it probably sounds, but wanting the experience of the dog is great, but it is also work, time, and expense.

Have the baby for several months, wait until you have a break from school - summer or at least a long holiday, and give the dog the attention he will deserve.

Yes, the dog will bring a lot of joy to your family, but your kids won't even remember getting him right now. I think it would be nice for them to have memories of bringing home this pet.

After the baby is born, consider adopting a cat - some of the same issues apply. But a cat can be kept in the home with no walks and just requires litter changes several times per week. A cat is loving and coddly and playful, but much more indepedent.

Good luck with your expanding family, be it 2 legs or 4!



answers from Washington DC on

If you do it, yes, you are crazy. Sorry to be so blunt. We have two kids and had two labs. They are money pits and you think you clean a lot now?? We gave one dog to a friend and that has helped tremendously. Kids growing up with a dog is more of a 8 year old thing, so hold off. You could just fluch your money down the toilet if you don't need it!


answers from Norfolk on

Jeez, people have had some strong opinions here! So I'll just offer this. You know your family and situation better than any of us. Do you think you have the patience for a dog right now? It could be good or bad. Rescue organizations generally do screening of the family that the dog is to be placed with, and if it's not suitable, they'll let you know. A dog who was abused wouldn't be a good fit for you, but maybe this one was surrendered by a loving family who couldn't afford it anymore. Trust your heart, you'll know what to do.


answers from Norfolk on

Are you insane? I'd say yes. You'll have 2 babies and a dog will make it 3. You and your husband work, the kids will be in day care - is the dog suppose to be alone in a kennel all day waiting for someone to come home? Dogs are pack animals, they are not happy unless they have someone (or another dog) with them at all times. The dog will need to be walked every day (no help here from the kids for awhile) rain or shine. You'll need to scoop the poop (like diapers aren't enough) and if your back yard is not fenced already you'll need to get it fenced to keep the dog from straying. Some people have had dogs all their lives and they're family dynamic works when children come along with no troubles. If you (or your husband) have never had dogs before, I'd wait till your youngest is in 2nd grade before getting a dog.



answers from Washington DC on

I agree with everyone else , you should hold off on the dog for now , wait and see what life is like with a new baby and then make the decsion , plus if you are planning on still working full time after the baby arrives then will the dog be home alone all day? That is unfair on the dog , they like to be around people and this is why they end up chewing your furniture to bits!!

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