Work/family Balance

Hi L.,

I've been working outside of the home for all of my children's lives (except for maternity leave). There really wasn't a choice. But I've always put my kids first. When they were younger, when we came home I would get changed quickly, then spend a little time goofing around with the kids -- snuggling, dancing, whatever they needed. Then "we" made dinner and ate together. Bath time was more play time, and bedtime was book reading and singing lullabies. It was all about them. Dinner was something quick and simple, and often breakfast foods (pancakes, eggs) or soups, pasta, etc.

As they got older, we adapted this schedule to what was needed -- homework (yes, even in preschool), piano lessons, Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, etc.

Yes, you are tired at the end of the day, but they go to bed early when they are young. Also, as they get older, you see them less and less as activities and friends take over so you will appreciate the time you spent with them.

On another note, depending on the job you have, you may be able to either start with a part time situation or, as you've been there for a time, work flexibility into your job. While still full time, I've been able to negotiate one work at home day a week, and the flexibility to take time off for events that are important to my kids. I've worked my butt off : ) to get these priviledges, but it's been worth it.

Good luck to you.

I'm not sure where you are working, but I work full time, nights and weekends, and I LOVE it!
I have all morning with my girls, I'm able to take them to swim class, library storytime, the park... we do so much! I know people at my work who do a normal 9-5 say they feel so guilty because they rush the kids out the door in the am, and then they get home in time for their kids to go to bed.
Granted, when my girls are in school, this schedule may not be so perfect anymore, but for the time being, I am getting to spend so much time with them while still working full time.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

Hi L.,

I work as an aide at my son's school. This is a perfect job for a mommy. My hours are 8:15-3:15. I have the summers off so I am home with my son. The pay is ok. Great benefits.

L.

I found myself in the exact same boat when I returned to work FT after my son was born. I told my boss flat out that I didn't like the schedule and 4 days at home with my son and three at work seemed more in-line with my heart. She allowed me to switch to PT and keep my same hourly salary to boot, rather than loose me. I guess it depends on what type of job you have. Sometimes they can make it very flexible for you if you just ask. My advice to ANYONE working who would rather stay home with their kids is to really eval the situation. Usually, where there's a will, there's away, even if it means frugality to the max. Good luck to you!

I think to have a healthy work and family life you need to schedule time for both. I also think everyone in the household has to help out with maintaining the house (you don't mention if you are a single mom). And I think you need to believe that the way you split your time is the best stuation for you and your family. Sacrifices are much easier to accept when you know they are the right thing to do. Have you asked yourself these questions:

Do you need to work? If so, what is your motivation? Some moms choose to work for financial reasons others need more adult interaction or don't want to be out of their chosen career for long.

Can you put off working until your kids are in school fulltime?

If you aren't happy with your situation could you find a part time job or work a different shift?

Could you change spending habits so that you don't need to work?

I am a SAHM and those are the types of questions my husband and I considered when we became parents. We agreed that as long as we could finanacially afford it, I would stay home until the kids are in school fulltime. So we have one income. We go without a lot of frills so we can do this. We have $8 cable. We take day trips when we find deals on entertainment expenses. I shop for groceries, gifts and clothes using sales, coupons and rebates. I have a cheap pay as you go cell phone plan that so far has given me great coverage. We accept hand-me-downs for anything anyone sends our way. I don't want for anything, but with a little planning (that doesn't require as much time as a fulltime job) we are living a nice life. The point I am trying to make is that for me and my family this has proved to be a better solution than putting the kids in daycare, having to run here and there everyday, experiencing the guilt and stress of being a working mom. This plan isn't for everyone and I am not juding anyone who chooses to work. It is just a thought to consider.

If this appeals to you and you want to know more specifically about some of the ways we cut costs, send me a message. Best wishes to you!

Hi L.,

Is there no husband in the picture?

First thing, get you an appointment book with 4 columns. Put each member's name at the top.

Put each one's scedule in the time slot. Incorporate your duties with the help of your children. Instead of play, it now will be working together for the benefit of the whole family.

Good luck. All the Best. D.