Work Away from Home Moms

Bravo! Thank you for putting a voice to the WMs out there!

Women in this day and age should and can have whatever they want, be it using their skills and talents staying at home to raise the children and keep a house or to use their skills and talents while being a careerist. Different strokes for different folks.

I work and I love my job. I've spent a lot of time on my education and worked hard to get to the point where I am at in my career. I LOVE that my sons have a great role model that demonstrates to them that a women can be a fantastic mother and be intelligent, educated, and make a difference in her community by working. If I had a daughter (I don't) I would be very happy that I was being a great role model, letting her know that it *IS* possible for her to do whatever she wanted in life, that she could go to college and get two masters degrees, and shoot for her dreams.

I have experienced many firsts, lots of fun times and joy. I've also allowed my children to meet lots of interesting, smart adults who have enhanced their learning experience through their time in daycare - variety is the spice of life and just like in school, kids will have to deal with many different teaching styles and adapt because that's life!

I've been both...working and stay at home and never missed any of the things you mentioned or any other milestones to speak of!! I guess I don't get her comments because the times I worked I didn't miss the first step, first crawl, first pull-up, etc. I guess I don't associate (in the real world) with the kind of people that bash work and/or stay at home mothers because I have never once heard so much commenting or judging until I joined this site. It is really outrageous.

I just read the post too, and thought OUCH when I read if you can't stay at home, why have them...But in my eyes, I am doing the best thing for my sweet child by working. And technically, I would consider a child's first, to be the first time I saw it, so nope, didn't miss anything!! I did get to stay home for 15 months and I honestly am very thankful to have had that time with him:)

F., I'm an "executive mom" too, and I know exactly what you mean. I see that same type of criticism on here quite a bit (although I have seen many supportive and wonderful moms, too, to be fair).

Here's what I have to say about that. Nobody (NOBODY!) ever says, "Dads who work miss loving their kids and seeing their first steps. Why be a father if you're not going to stay home?" Am I right? Just about everyone recognizes that being a breadwinner (whether the sole breadwinner or not) is an important function in a family. Whether the breadwinner is male or female shouldn't matter.

Why did I bother to have kids and still work? I worked 3 jobs to put myself through an Ivy League university. I graduated with honors and have worked hard to get to the top of my field. I am proud of the example that I have set for my daughters - I work in an almost exclusively male profession, yet I more than hold my own. Why would I NOT want to give them this example? Why should I give up this career that I love and work that I am passionate about? Why can't people understand that this is not an either/or choice? Don't we tell our kids that our hearts are big enough to hold more than one thing at a time? Most importantly, why doesn't anyone ask my husband to choose between his career and his children?

I know that SAHMs have a lot of great things to teach their kids. Executive Moms do, too. For instance, if I am in a contract negotiation, I'll tell my girls what it's all about (in simplified language, obviously) and we will discuss ways that I can approach the negotiation, and the pros and cons of each aspect. Then, as I proceed through the process at work, I'll fill them in on my progress. I have almost never had a prouder moment than when my 7 year old came home from school and told me that in a book exchange at school, she came home with the most coveted book. I asked her how she did it, and she said, "Mommy, I remembered what you taught me. If you want to be successful in a negotiation, you have to be ready to walk away from it at any moment. I acted like I didn't care, and it worked!" My second grader understands negotiations better than some MBAs I deal with on a daily basis. TELL ME that isn't going to benefit her in life!

Bottom line, I am great at what I do, both as a mom and as an employee. Why in the world does choosing to do one thing mean that that's all you do? My girls know they are loved, and the time that I spend with them is quality time when I am teaching them, laughing with them, playing with them. I would throw myself in front of a moving car for them in a heartbeat, and they know it. People can judge me all they want, but you know what? I'm raising two great kids who will be well prepared to do whatever they choose in life. THAT is what it's all about.

I think both posts are indicative of women being unsupportive, as a gender.

WMs needs to "prove" her decision is OK. SAHMs needs to "prove" her decision is OK. To themselves. To each other. To the "other side"..... who knows?
Instead of each respecting that "every mom" does what they think is best for their family they sling mud at each other's emotions "you're a bad mom" and "you're controlled by your husband" etc etc etc.

The WM / SAHM debate gets posted every couple of weeks on mamapedia and, imho, should be taken ONLY as that particular poster has had some bad encounter and needs to vent and would like other people in their same situation to reinforce what they are doing.

It's starting up with the homeschool v non-homeschooling debate. homeschoolers think moms who send their kids to public school are willingly exposing them to drugs and violence and sex. non-homeschoolers think homeschooled kids lack social skills and will grow up to be unable to function in society.

It's a back and forth thing, and both debates are COMPLETELY unproductive and do NOTHING MORE than continue to drive a wedge through the sisterhood that SHOULD be going on.

Since it's an opinion board people give their opinions - some of them may be radically different than yours.

If you believe you are doing what's best for your family - that should be enough for you to be at peace.

Best wishes.

wow. There is always a battle between the SAHM and the Working Moms. I personally HATE and think it's utterly ridiculous. Some of make choices to work, and some of us have to - but whatever it is - it's none of anyone's business. Neither group is superior or better than the other. I wished people would just get that.

I'm a working mom myself and I constantly get the sympathy looks from other SAHM on how I can't take my kids to all these classes they go to and spend all this time with them. In my situation, I have to work as I've always made the better income in our family, but it doesn't mean the time I spend with my daughter isn't precious, quality and special.

It's hard enough to be a mom. It's even harder to be a "good mom", and as a mom - shouldn't we be more understanding to each other and not constantly judge each other?

I just had to respond and say thanks for giving the WM's a voice. I work because its the right thing to do for my family - because I make twice the salary of my husband (who is part-time SAHD), because I want to teach my daughters' empowerment (after watching my powerless mother lose everything through a divorce with my father), and mostly because my hubby and I are saving now in order to both stop working during what we feel will be the critical years of our 3 children's lives (ages 9-18) - I know it's an unorthodox plan, but we think it is absolutely necessary to be there for them during this critical time - without the stress of a career for either one of us. So because I am working now our home will be paid off and we will be able to live off of investments for that 10 year period - and go back to work after the kids are in college. So I encourage all mom's to consider not just the well being on their children now, but in all stages of their "childhood".

Until we walk in each others shoes we should refrain from criticizing. I think we all want the best for our children and do the best we possibly can. We all work hard and we all have lots to offer. Good things can happen in lots of different ways and no one way has all the answers.

I work because we cant pay our bills without it. I had a kid because I love them. I didnt get to nurse my kid, which had nothing to do with working, but I remember the first time she hugged me. She still did all her firsts with me, rolling over, crawling, walking. I think our time together is even more special since we dont get to see each other all day every day. She is very well taken care of when I'm not there and is even developing a British accent from her day care lady. :-)

We still have plenty of special time together,

I think this is along the same lines as the mom's who think if you didnt breastfeed you're a terrible mother. They just want to feel superior to someone.

I'd like to say first off that I feel that this "question" is sort of catty. Most people were responding in defense of SAHM's and their choice, not in condemnation of WMs.

I think the biggest problem SAHMs have is with statements like "I choose not to stay at home with my kids." Sure you have your own reasons and it's really no one else's business, but I think a lot of moms feel bad for the kids in these situations. It's almost like you're saying that you can't stand to be around your kids all of the time. It seems harsh to us and yes, sometimes it can seem a little selfish. We hear something like that and we think, "Good Lord, if you need to get away from your kids every day, then why did you have kids?"

Maybe that's not what you meant when you say it's not for you. Maybe you just mean that you're a person that gets cabin fever easily and needs to get out of the house every day, or you prefer to work outside the home because you feel better when you're contributing financially to the household or whatever (you don't have to justify it after all, it's between you, your kids and your hubby - and no one else) At any rate, comments like that just leave an impression that the kids are pretty low on the priority list. Some of us feel offended by this and some feel hurt on behalf of the children. We don't have all of the information, so a comment like that is going to leave a pretty black and white image behind.

However, I did notice the same comments that you noticed and yes, some seemed to take it a little far, but people get impassioned when forced onto the defensive and a LOT of SAHM's feel very defensive because there IS a lot of derision and devaluation out there for what we choose for our lives and children. Personally, my post was only intended to say that every mom should have the CHOICE to live the life she wants (SAH or WM) without recriminations from the other side and to make it clear that I do NOT believe that SAHM's are submissive or opressed by their hubbys. There's nothing wrong with being a working mom as long as your only reason isn't that you can't stand to be around your kids all day. On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with being a SAHM as long as your only reason isn't that you don't feel like working outside the home. In both of those situations, the children go short.

It's really all about the children after all. They are unable to fend for themselves so the awesome responsibility for their lives falls on our shoulders. They are still emotionally needy and underdeveloped, so the awesome responsibility for their hearts falls on our shoulders too. Can you be a working mom and raise your children with love and attentiveness to their needs? Sure! Can you be a SAHM and ignore your kids all day? Sure! Yes these do not fall into the stereotypes, but that's my point. "What" you are does not dictate your actions. "Who" you are is more important when you are raising the next generation.

I read the post that you are talking about and have to say....it was a man that wrote that. I don't mind that there is a man on this board, but do mind if he is going to step up and talk about SAHM and WM like he has ever done it. Yes, he is married, but that's just not the same. It's great that he was able to work like a dog so his wife could stay home, but there are a lot of people that are single or NEED to have a two person income. How would he know what a SAHM got to experience since he probably was NEVER home. It's too bad the kids probably don't know their dad that well. :(
This debate is constant and ongoing. It's kind of like the co-sleeping/CIO debate. The breast/bottle debate. The public/homeschooling debate. ECT. I feel like, as long as it works for your family than that is the best you are doing. Don't let anyone else's post upset you. It's just an opinion, and we are all entitled to them.
L.

I was out to lunch with an old friend who is a working mom (I stay at home with my 3 and 4 year olds) and she was venting to me about another one of her friends that was judging her for her decision to put her baby in daycare and go back to work. I listened intently and was very sympathetic.....right up until she carelessly said that "stay at home moms are really nothing more than glorified babysitters".

I didn't get angry, just a little depressed....because some days that's exactly what I feel like. ;-) I know she didn't really mean me personally and she was simply feeling attacked by her peers, but I think it shows that the animosity out there goes both ways. But then, isn't that the case with almost every parenting decision? Do a search on this website about circumcision and you'll be blown away at the heated opinions and blatant attacks. Same goes for breastfeeding vs. formula, immunizing or not, etc.

Unfortunately parents (and especially women) can be extraordinarily judgmental of one another and this website facilitates that nicely. But it doesn't have to be that way. If you read those posts and started having negative or resentful feelings towards SAHM's (thinking we all must feel the same way) than you are only perpetuating the judgment. So let me make it clear.....no, the whack jobs on this site that spout off rude/ridiculous opinions do NOT speak for the majority.

Most likely those women were trying to convince themselves more than anyone else. Trust me, there are some days when I NEED to believe that staying home was the right decision...otherwise I would lose my mind, lol. That doesn't excuse the stupid things they said, but try and remember that they're not looking down on you as much as they're trying to hold themselves up.

So don't feel like you have to justify yourself to ANYONE, F.. Not in your personal life and certainly not for a bunch of anonymous biddies.

WOW, I must have missed that post. I work full time, away from home from 7 am to 6 pm. DO I sometimes wish I had more time with my kids?, of course. But I did not miss the first time my daughter walked, I was home at the time. She took 5 steps and was running the next day. I remember nursing her and her falling asleep in my arms. I nursed her until she turned 2. I remember when she said her first word--which just happened to be "mama", thank you very much. I might not be with my kids 24/7 but that makes the time I do have with them even more special. And I did stay home for 17 months. The first 6 were fantastic but then i went nuts. I am just not a stay at home mom. If I was able to do that today, I would do things much differently and get out on my own for a little while each day.
Oh, and when my triplets were born, daddy stayed home. At that time--just 11 yrs ago, he got comments about how horrible it must be to have to stay home to watch his kids. Really? I never thought of my husband as a baby sitter. It is horrible that we are criticized for making the decisions that work for our families and lives. There is no cookie cutter shape for families and absolutely not for moms.

My 2 yr old goes to bed at 11:30 at night when i go to bed so she sleeps later in the day so daddy, who gets home at 2 am, can get some sleep. Most posts here have their kids in bed at 7 or so. But that us what works for us.

I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to stay at home with my daughter and as she grows I will return to work and at that point become a WM. So far as a mother, I have had little time to pass judgement on other mothers for choosing to stay at home or for going back to work. It's great that women can do both (work or stay at home).
I didn't have a mother growing up, I would have been happy to have had any kind of mother.
We all have different reasons for doing what we think is best for our children. Don't worry about other people and how they make different choices than you.

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Amen sista!

My kids are happy, healthy, and in looooove with their mother. Not to mention their father. And why pray tell is no one passively bashing the dads for not staying home? Perhaps EVERYONE should stay at home and no work should get done at all.

Why can't we all just support and celebrate whatever non-abusive parenting choices our fellow parent make instead of insisting one is better than the other?!

I don't have any choice about whether or not I work. Since my ex-husband has decided that child support and parenting is optional, I am the one who makes EVERYTHING happen. Whether you're a single parent or not, we all face challenges as parents...they are just usually different challenges.

However, while I believe that children ARE best raised by a parent (not just a mom). The only "justification" I need to know that my daughter isn't being irreparably harmed by the hours I spend working is the fact that when I see her she runs to me with a smile on her face. When she is hurt, she asks for me. When she wants to snuggle, it is my ear she wants to stroke. When I tell her that she'll be staying somewhere else for the night, she says, "Okay, Mom, I no cry. Bring me gummies. I see you soon."

My time with her is quality time. Kids know who their parents are...they know who loves them. Some of the crappiest parents in the world STILL love their kids...not everyone in life has the intellect, upbringing, or chance to do things the way "I" would do it.

It takes all kinds. Quit trying to see if someone else measures up to your "standards". Very little in life has one right answer.

P.S. I haven't missed a thing, I just feel like I appreciate the time we have together even more.

Of course those comments are based on their own experiences. One has to walk in the shoes to understand. I just witnessed my 16mo ols son climbing down off the toddler bed by himself for the first time and coming to my room without me getting him off. I also witnessed for the first time him getting out of his car seat by himself (wow)...That's amazing to me. So, as a working M. myself, I think these "firsts" can happen anywhere, anytime and with anyone. My niece walked for the first time at grandmas, so I try not to let those things bother me.

I must have missed that one as well but I work part-time so I kinda have the best of both worlds ;())
I think sometimes those comments are made from both sides because the other one feels the need to justify their decision or perhaps some jeoulousy is involved there. There are some WM out there that would love to be SAHM but cannot financially afford to. Then you have the other side where the SAHM regrets or wishes that she could go to work instead of staying at home with the kids all day.
It is a personal decision at the end of the day. I had twin girls and I stayed at home with them the first 12 weeks of their lives. I then went back to work even though I really truly did not and after I had been back for a month they laid me off so it was truly a blessing and I never took it for granted. When the girls were about 12 months old I went back to work part-time but I wasn't getting paid diddly squat so I went up to full-time somewhere else. Even though I hated it I had to do it. I worked full-time all the way up until they were 2-5 years of age. Then my husband and I moved to South Carolina and I gave up my job to move there. We were there for 3 months decided it wasn't our cup of tea so we moved back to georgia where we belong. I eventually found this job working part-time but I make darn good money for it. So I have done both and to stay at home ALL day with my kids just drove me insane and I sank into a deep depression. I love my kids but I just needed that "out" time so to say. Yes, there are times that I feel I wish I could just stay at home but then I think back to those 3 months in S.C. and know this is the best option. I work 7-1:00 p.m. so I am working while they are in school and I am there for them at the bus stop every day which I enjoy. Some would rather stay at home and others have no choice but we are all in this together so can't we just respect each other's decisions for what they are....each person's decision is based upon several different circumstances-each person's situation is different. To say that the working mom's miss out on things is such an ignorant statement really but you can't talk sense to an ignorant person so let it slide off the back where it belongs.

As long as you are spending your time with them to be fantastic, resilient children than you are ok. I know plenty of sahm who are totally raising their kids the wrong way; helicopter parenting based on their own fears to letting their kids watch tv all day and or totally committing their own lives to them. And working parents who stay up till ten with their kids homework and sports....or picking up fast food every night and letting their children get fat. You see where I am going here? You just can't win!!!

You are talking about ignorant people. You will have that at work, cultures, countries....etc. I have the best of both worlds, and would never judge one or the other. Don't worry about it.

ok i know i am late, but my two cents...the people that left those comments, and i dearly hope they read this, have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. it's ignorance of something you don't understand that leads people to react with such spite and malice. fact, not opinion. and you know what else...they don't represent MOST sahm's, either. imo, those comments aren't even worth the energy used to write them.

as for the rest of the world, you are right. we all do what we feel is best for our families. and there is no fault in that.

I think to each his (or in this case, her) own! I have been both and absolutely HATED being a working mom. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the time that I had with my son when I was working (I think I appreciated him and our time more), but it just wasn't for me. I have a close teacher friend who, while she loves her children, cannot wait when summer is over and she can go back to work! Will you miss things that your child does, of course! But I can be home with my son all day and turn my back for an instant and miss something as well! Whatever works for you is what you should be doing.

P.S. The person who wrote the post you are upset about is actually not a mom, but a dad. Just thought that was an interesting tid bit...

Just being a mom is a harsh and hard job. Whether we are SHAM or executive moms. I have been luck enough to be a SHAM for 8 months till I finally had to start going to the campus to finish my major. I've been doing online for months now.
I totally agree with Luci's Mom. I had a scare at my daycare on the very first day just three weeks ago! Luckily me and the daycare have worked things out. (the girl was a substitute and was the worst teacher ever) So I don't feel like my son is safe unless in my arms, but unfortunately I have to put him in daycare.
I think that everyone (including me) feels that my way is the best way and forces that opinion on everyone. I do try not to force it, but sometimes it just comes out.
And for those who say "why even post this" Or "this is catty" well she has a right to post it and vent. Just like mom's who are tired of being told they are bad mom's because the don't BF vent. Why can't a executive mom vent? Back off women!!

Why even post a question like this? Think, are you really seeking advice or allowing for more judgments and harsh words on both sides of this issue? Lets build a bridge on this issue and move on.

Questions like this are a disaster. Everyone strives to justify their own choice and in the process usually says something at least mildly offensive to others. Our opinions about others' choices (or lack thereof) are *not relevant.* Let's stop feeding the beast.

I know you've received a lot responses but I wanted to put my 2 cents in. :-)
I work full-time and I have a 2 yo and a 7 yo. I worked part-time for 4 years up until last fall. My kids have always been in a day care and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I love my kids to death but I'm not the SAHM type. They LOVE the day care and I think it's good for them...they learn how to socialize, how to share, be an independent, etc. You need to do what works best you and your family. If you're not happy and content, your family won't be either. So many moms (me included sometimes) do so much for the family they forget about themselves.

It sounds like you've got a good set-up being able to pick the kids up from school (that's what I miss the most about working part-time).

Enjoy the life you've built with your family and don't pay attention to what others think.

I appreciate Cheryl's response. I agree we shouldn't judge.

I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to stay at home with my daughter. I wouldn't have it any other way!! I get to enjoy and see things that she does for the first time that even my husband is envious that he wasn't home to be a part of that.
I remember a coworker, when I worked, stating that she was so sad that she missed her babies first steps and that she loved the babysitter more than her.
It's just my opinion and like I said I am very lucky to be able to stay at home with her!!

I was able to stay home with my son for about 6 months but couldn't afford to continue and had to return to work. Later, I was a single mom so it was no longer an option. Now I have a daughter and I can't stay home with her but really wish I could and am working towards being home with her as much as possible. I believe I have missed some quality time with both kids but I also know that I have done what has been best for them at the same time. Having to work outside the home has made me value my time with them. If I were to stay at home full time, I believe I may not appreciate that time as much. I also believe that some people need to not judge others as they haven't walked in their shoes. Yes, it would be great if moms could be home with their children but not everyone can afford to do that.

Well, I have being both (Working mom and SATM) and in my very own experience I like more stay at home.
However I never think that this make me a better mom now that I stay at home. In fact I was telling my husband the other day that I feel that my youngest daughter wasn't as independent as my older was.
I don't know what is with my younger that she always decides to do all her new stuff with dady even if is me the one that stays with her all the time.

I don't have any problem with working moms, (all the woman in my family work) and I don't have any problem with SATH moms, what I think that makes a bad mom is not if she works or not.
I know MANY moms that work and are awful moms and many that don't work and are awful too.
I also think that we woman expect too much from us, I have never hear somebody complains about men going to work and leaving the kids at home.
I say let's get together against them!!
Just kidding, stay at home moms and working moms, stay at home dads and working dads, we all have something in common, we want our kids to be happy, independent, healthy, well adjust kids, just to mention some.

Agree with the posts

I think I am lucky that I can respond from both points of view, as I have been home and worked. I currently work. My decision to work this go around was a less-difficult decision. First, I had just started this job when I found I was pregnant with DD2. I thought it would be extremely detrimental to my employment history to not return following the birth. Second, I had a good starting position. I really would like to be in this line of work when my kiddos are older, and it is extremely helpful if not necessary to have the experience and knowledge I am gaining now. Third, I think I would go crazy if I was at home with both. Finally, I really really like my job. Sure, I’m looking for a new firm (I’m a paralegal) but for the most part I really like my job. I learn a lot, I whine about having to go to work but I feel productive and successful at the end of the day.

It was not an easy decision. Daycare for 2 kids under 3 was more than my salary when I started. But I knew that would go up, and it did. I now make enough above and beyond daycare to have added a car payment, which was essential. And now that DD1 is old enough for a great preschool and DH has been at his job long enough to fiddle with the schedule, I will be saving tons of money sending her to a montessori preschool instead of a full daycare/preschool all day. I really enjoyed being at home with DD1, I stayed at home with her for the first year. I got a job right around her first birthday. I cried all the time. But I was thinking ahead to when they are in jr high and high school and I knew I would have a very difficult time getting a good-paying job with no practical work experience to add to my college degree, the degree would have meant nothing 15 years post-graduation with no job (degree in marketing, at the time that’s what I was doing). Turns out I hated that job and went back home with DD1. But I never enjoyed it as much as I did to start. I found that I was a better person when I got out of the house. Some people thrive on being a SAHM. I could never get myself into a schedule or routine, and pretty much every day felt like a lazy weekend day. Plus I really felt that DD1 needed some stimulation and education since she is extremely precocious. There is no way I could have sent her to preschool even PT while staying at home.

Did I feel as if I was getting the best of my kids at home? Absolutely. Do I feel sad that I am missing out on things by working? Yupperroo. But am I doing what works for me and our family? Yup and that is most important. I feel as if I am setting a good example for my daughters on how to balance life and work and family and love and wants and needs. I tell them that I miss them. My DD1 asks me sometimes why I have to go to work and we have great talks about money and bills and necessities v. extras and personal wants and needs and happiness. I think she understand. Some days I drop them off and still feel like crying. I love the summer because they stay with my mom (she’s a teacher) and she sends me cell phone pics and videos all day. I am insanely jealous of my mom, and that she gets the sleepy nap cuddles, the happy morning playtime, the new words and new skills, the fun things like art projects and writing letter. I am NOT jealous and thankful that I don’t have to deal with all the whiney and crying and tantrums and attitude and fits etc etc etc ALL DAY. I know I get the worst hours of my children...and then I feel guilty that I am snappy at them and frustrated....we are having a go of it right now and they literally whine and cry and tantrum and hit ALL THE TIME AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY. I really feel I am better able to deal with that since I am away. I like to make the most of what time we have. I get sad that I only see them from 7A-8A while I get ready for work, and from 530-730 for dinner and bed. I always feel like we rush. I want more loves and snuggles and stories and cartoon and art projects....but it works for me to prioritize that over my hobbies. I want to swing on the swingset with them more than I want to scrapbook...and I prioritize their time over a lot of household chores. My house is atrocious and I’m ok with that even though I don’t like to have people over and my mom is appalled. But to be honest it wasn’t much better when I was a SAHM cuz I couldn’t find a groove. I deal with it and we get buy. While we don’t have a lot of extra income, we have enough to do fun things like go out for ice cream, and have random surprise visit to Bozeman to see my grandparents and splurge for a pair of sparkly new shoes just because. I like that we can do those things and we couldn’t do any of that if I didn’t work.

When I stayed at home I was sure that I had the best deal and I couldn’t imagine how working moms could handle missing out on the stuff. But at the same time I was jealous...that they wore real clothes, talked to adults about something unrelated to kids, marriage and family, that they seemed to have a personal purpose outside of their kids. And I’m jealous now, the whole grass is greener bit. I think all we can do is find what works for us. Just like I know some people who I am darn THANKFUL they didn’t have children, I am thankful for those moms that SAH....and I’m thankful for those moms that work, and those that work in the home, and everything in between. I think it is so refreshing for children to see variety.

You have clearly made the decision that is right for you so don't worry about what anyone else thinks. They have the right to their opinions and they likely won't change them, but you are the one who has to live with your decisions. If you feel more fulfilled while working, that clearly will flow over into the kind of example you will set for your children. I applaud your decision. I am a SAHM because I want to be and can afford to be, but if at anytime I decide I want to go back to work, I would not hesitate for a second. I fully believe it is the quality, not the quantity of time you spend with your children that matters:)

I personally think..."to each their own!". I work part-time outside of the house and it's the right choice for me. I truly believe that I am a better parent because of it. Although I do tons of stuff with my kids (walks, go to the park, bike rides, the zoo, the science center), it ends there! I do not have a creative bone in my body and find it impossible to find things to entertain them and keep them busy. They do all kinds of creative things at the babysitter that I would never think to do with them. For this, I am thankful! Going to work gives me the opportunity to socialize and interact with adults, which makes me sane and therefore, a better parent. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I do not and will not try to defend myself for working. Its my choice and I do not need someone else's approval for my choices!