Wondering How Other Mom's Transitioned Their Infant into Childcare

Hi A., Leaving my child for the first time at daycare and going back to work was one of THE HARDEST things I have ever had to do! I don't say this to be negative, but just to let you know that you are by no means alone in your anxiety! I cried just about that whole first day back. Everyone told me it would get better, and it gradually does, although I am still a bit jealous of stay at home moms who do not have to go through this heart-wrenching transition with young babies (i absolutely had to return to work for financial reasons, as many moms do). I also breastfed, and I do believe that it makes it even more difficult in the beginning (although 100% worth it), as you feel that your baby is even more dependent on you. Not only are you worried about everything else to do with daycare issues, but you are also worried about your baby taking the bottle when they are not used to doing this. We had luck with Medela slow flow nipples, and I pumped at work and sent breastmilk to daycare. Not easy but it all worked out. It will take some time to truly build up a trusting relationship with your daycare provider, but once you have this established, you will hopefully have more peace of mind. Good luck and try to hang in there those first few days. It won't be easy for you but your baby will be fine..babies are very adaptable and entertained by other kids and that can be quite helpful if they become fussy--they are easily distracted and fascinated by the older children. Good luck to you!!

The day I put my daughter in daycare was awful. I cried, she cried, I cried harder. She was 5 mos old. Exclusively breastfed, I had tried bottles of breastmilk, transitioning to formula (because I thought she didnt want BM in a bottle) and water. I started at 6 weeks and still at 5 mos she refused a bottle.

When I dropped her off that first day, it was heartbreaking but it was a relief when I came to pick her up a few hours later that she was being held and comforted by one of the teachers, it put me at ease to see them try to care for her the way I did.

I put her in for a few hours a day to slowly tranisition the both of us. I did it before I actually went back to work so that by the time I was working 40 hrs a week and she was in daycare 45 hours a week, she would be well adjusted.

It was a while before she acceted the bottle at daycare. She was almost a year. She drank water out of a sippy cup and ate rice cereal and first foods and so on during that time. But it wasnt until she refused to eat breakfast before daycare, that she took the bottle,by the time we arrived at the center she was hungry enough.

I always cringed when someone told me that "Babies will eat anythign if they're hungry enough" or whatever the saying is. But I found out the hard way that its true.

At almost 2 years old, my daughter loves her daycare and does extremely well and is well adjusted. Eats, sleeps and plays without a worry because we both know I will be there at the end of the day to get her. (oh and I have found that if you "hang out" around drop off time, it can make the transition take longer, the kids get very attached and clingy and dont want mommy to go - no matter what age - In my opinion, but I like to chit chat with her teachers at the end of the day to get an idea of whats going on)

HI A.,

Your anxiety is perfectly normal and understandable painstaking. I have two children both boys ages 10 months and 3years old. I work full-time due to finacial reasons. I want to let you know about the positive side of being a working mom because I know it's hard to believe but this has been my experience having measured this with my sister's experience as a stay at home mom, so here is some comfort:
The time you spend with your child is 100% enjoyment and will something you will look forward to every day you leave your job or spend at home during the weekends. Stay at home moms experience this also but not every day because their job is their children and well it can be trying most days. You will realize this when you have a vacation!!

Having to be at work in the morning, requires a routine. Children thrive with routine and research shows this. The downside to this, is that even on the weekends, your child will get up early but you can look at this way, it's more time to spend with them without the rush in the morning. Bedtimes, if you abide by rountine- I barely every have a problem putting my children to bed because it's routine.

My oldest son just started pre-school this September and the benefits to being in daycare paid off:
With my routine, no problem getting to daycare on time, he is ready, alert, ready to learn and play.
He has no issues with sharing with others or being social- he was exposed to this at an early age beinig in daycare.
He did not cry the first day of school (which I thought I would be upset about) but instead he was sooooo excited, this to me was heartwarming.

I could go on but in summary, if you find the daycare whether it be home-based or a day care center that you trust- YOur child will adapt to 100%, it is the mother whom experiences all the heart ache and anxiety. I hope my e-mail helps.

Take care,

J.

I agree with the other posters - this will be much harder on you than him. That's the nice thing about starting him soon; no tears when you leave. As far as the adjustment period, I'd do what works best for you. You might want to start with a couple shorter days back to get into the swing of things and work on the routine. He probably won't notice either way (sorry). The only other thing I suggest - call and check in on him if it makes you feel good, but if that stresses you out, then don't do it. It always makes me feel worse when I call to check on the kids and I find out that they're crying or having a hard time getting to sleep or whatever. At that moment, there's nothing that I can do about it, so I have found that I'm better off not knowing. No need to torture myself, especially because at the end of the day they're totally fine and I would be giving myself an ulcer for nothing. Good luck. I'm sure it will go great!

This is one of the biggest and often most difficult transitions for any parent! As a licensed home child care provider I think one of the most important aids in the transition is open communication with your child's provider. I have had some parents that feel more comfortable starting the first week as a more part time basis (maybe 3-4 hours/day). Being that your child is 3 months old, this transition in all honesty is going to be more difficult for you than your child. Hopefully you have visited several providers and found the one that is the absolute best match for your family needs.

Although I have invited new or interested parents to stay for a short time during drop off time in the first week, please know that it does tend to throw off the rest of the children in care(who if old enough want to know why their mommy isn't coming to visit) and makes it more difficult for the provider to begin to develop a close relationship with your baby-as your child is of course going to be more drawn to you :)

Most importantly:
*Feel absolutely comfortable with the provider you choose
*Keep communication open and frequent
*Talk with the other parents
*Voice all questions/concerns with the provider directly

BEST OF LUCK to you and your son!

Please feel free to contact me at ____@____.com with any child care questions you may have!!

Hi A. - It is very stressful transitioning your kids into day care, I know from experience! Both my girls were 3 - 3.5 months when they first started. Looking back, it really was harder for me than for them at first. When they are that little, as long as they are being fed, changed, napping, and getting attention/being held, they are really okay for the time you are at work. Obviously, no one replaces mom, but a good provider for the daytime is priceless. Definitely make sure the provider is someone you can talk to, bounce ideas off of, and someone with whom you are basically on the same page. Consistency for your baby is very important. There were many suggestions and ideas my kids' day care teachers have had over the years that I have used. If possible, spend a little extra time the first few days when you drop off your baby. This will help you and him see that the day care provider is a trusted friend, especially as he gets older. I visited my kids' day care center a few times before they began; again, this was just as much to serve my needs than theirs! But it really helped because they both transitioned very easily as infants. It actually gets tougher as they get older and more established with the home routine, and when they go through separation anxiety.

One last thought I'd leave you with is that for everything I worried a lot about in terms of my kids and day care, the reality was always that it was never as bad as I thought it would be! For example, my 16-month old was on a two nap a day schedule over the summer, and when she started day care in the fall I knew they'd try to get her to one nap at noon. I worried that she wouldn't make it through the morning, and she has never had a problem to date! My girls love the day care they are in and the other kids give them so much interest that they manage to make it through all their ups and downs pretty seamlessly. Good luck and try not to worry too much - he will be FINE! Let us know how you all do!