wives...I Need Advice About Your Hubby

Hi

You're his wife not his mother. You shouldn't nag him to do anything. He's an adult.

You can ask if he'd like you to make him an appointment when you make one for you or the kids. But aside from that..... he's a grown up and you should let him act like one!

I'll remind hubby when a visit is due and ask him if he wants me to make the appt. If he's not interested, I don't do it. While I sometimes think being a wife is a partial mother role to a hubby (hehe), I do respect whatever he chooses. I'll let him know how I feel about it, but if he still chooses to not do something that I think he should do, then I leave it at that.

He is a grown man. I am neither his mommy nor his secretary. He makes his own appointments with his doctors when he feels the need, and I do the same with mine.

I let my hubby do what he needs to do. I'd like for him to eat better and go to the doctor and dentist regularly but I don't bug him. I pray for him and let God nudge him to go. =D After 20 years of marriage... it works! =) Good luck!!

I say to my husband that his health is imoportant to me and if anything happened to him I would be so mad at him for not taking better care of himself. Not to mention that we have a son now, and if he grew up without a father because of a stupid thing as not getting a frequent check up I would be really pissed off. So I nag him for the sake of our son and if he loved me then he would prove to me that he is going to be around a long time. That should rattle your husband a little. Or tell him that you are taking out another life insurance policy out on your husband so when something does happen you are set.

I have to push my husband to go.

The only Dr I don't have to push him to is the Dentist...

Other than that - I have to ask him and tell him to go.

At first and only during the first few complaints about an ailment...like a tooth or sore hip/shoulder, etc. I'll really be concerned and suggest to him that he should go see a doctor.

If after some time he still does not go and is still complaining about his pain, I'll ask him if he made a doctor appointment to get the problem taken care of. Of course he'll say, "NO". Then I'll say, then if you're not going to get it checked out, I don't want to hear it. Either do something about it, or be quiet.

I don't mean to be so harsh, but, if he's not going to be responsible enough to focus on his health, then I don't feel sorry for him. I LOVE my husband dearly! I really do, but, I DO NOT have control over him or make his decisions for him. He's so stubborn and hopefully one day, he'll learn.

I think most men won't go to a doctor unless something is really wrong. Unfortunately, so many things are preventable. Years ago my husband wasn't much of a "doctor go-er" then he found a lump on his testicle - very scary. He had what was supposed to be a minimally invasive procedure where they literally bruised his testicle to the point where he couldn't breathe when he woke up from the surgery. Horrible recovery, etc. No cancer (thank God). I remember having a heart to heart with him and saying how much I appreciated the fact that he took it upon himself to have this checked out and taken care of even though I know it was painful. He got tears in his eyes and said - it's not about me anymore, we have a daughter and I want to be here for her. Since then, he has done a better job than I have at making and keeping all his necessary appointments including having a colonoscopy every couple of years from the time he was in his late 30's. His father just passed away from colon cancer and my husband's doctor advises he get this done on a very regular basis. Not a fun procedure, but necessary.
So the answer is - yes, my husband does go to the doctor and dentist regularly - because he wants to be around for a long time. Maybe pose the question to your husband that way and see if he changes his tune. Good luck.

my hubby is in the military and they make him get a yearly check-up and dental every 6 months. If they didn't he wouldn't go unless he was on death's doorstep throwing up all over it .... and I'm not sure he'd go then either.

Then again I haven't gone in about 3 years. And the only time I did then was because I had to for school.

But I can tell ya I wouldn't make or pester him about appointments. He's a grown man and is smart enough to know if/when he needs to see the doctor. Same for me. It would piss me off royally if someone did that to me. But I'm stubborn that way anyway LOL

I was in the same boat as you! My husband always said he would only go if he felt ill..But he went last month and found out his cholesterol was abit high, I now make a yearly appointment for him to have a check up, other then that he'll only go if he feels sick or something. Which is fine. But I wouldn't nagg him on going, he needs to know he should go for check ups. As for dental, we all go every six months for teeth cleaning and from there they check to see if we need any work....Ughh MEN, what can we do but love em'! lol. Hope I was helpful with my answer!

Encourage? That's a nice way of putting it... I annoy my husband half to death about it! I make all of my husband's appointments for him or they don't get made. Does this go along with the not asking for directions thing? :) In his defense, it's actually easier for me to just make the appointments. I'm the one who arranges all the childcare and scheduling in general in our household, so he'd have to ask me when a good time to go would be anyway. I'm not his mom, but this is just one area of his life that he doesn't keep track of well. He is perfectly capable of making decisions and taking care of business that needs to be dealt with in our household, this just isn't something he feels is high priority. I do feel that it is, so I do it for him and he's happy to go along with it. On the other side of that coin, do you ever forget to eat because you're busy? I do... All the time. When my husband calls me around lunchtime he always asks, "Have you eaten much today? Be sure to have a bowl of cereal or something; it's getting late." It's just our routine. Do I KNOW that I need to eat? Of course I do; I'm not an idiot, but there are days that it just doesn't rank high enough on my priority list! Haha. So, I look at that similarly to the way I look at my husband not going to the doctor or dentist.

Well my husband takes good care of himself. He goes to the dentist regularly and also gets his teeth cleaned every 6 months without my prompting. When he thinks he needs to go to the dr he is usually the one that calls and I go with him if I am able to. He eats healthy, and he jogs regularly. But he does have a hard time staying away from peanut
M&M's, they are his downfall. I guess that is why he jogs so much, usually at least 25 miles per week. I do lots of things for my husband, as he does for me, but the one thing that I do for him that he especially appreciates, is when I pack his lunch for work, I make really nice healthy salads for him with all the fixings, and make sure he has plenty of good food while he is there. If he spends more than 1.00 a week getting anything he is not happy about it. Oh I almost forgot, we both get our blood tests twice a year.

I would sit him down for a talk. Most cancers don't have any symtoms until it's too late. High blood pressure usually has no symtoms.

You don't say how old you are or what your stage of life is but .... If he's talked about his retirement years and what he wants to be doing then--remind him he has to be alive and in good health to enjoy it.

This is definitely a guy thing and I think it accounts for why women live longer. But I don't understand how he has any doctors if he doesn't go regularly. My doctors treat you like a new patient if you don't check in with them at least once a year. Getting a new patient appointment takes longer, not to mention volumes of paper work that you have to fill out.

I make all my husbands appointments & I go with him. If not he either doesnt go ( and tells me he did and all is well) or he does go and even if the news isnt good he tells me he is fine. So I go with him so that I know that he did see the dr & what the dr really had to say. I wish that I could trust him to actually go and be honest with me.

My husband goes if he needs to, as do I. There is no encouraging one way or the other. He's an adult- I care about him, but I also know that he makes smart judgements on his own. I'll help him schedule an appt. if he asks, but that's all. He's a grown up, and his mother didn't coddle him, so he doesn't need a woman to do all that and more for him. Thank God I married a MAN... and another reason for moms not to "baby" their kids...

We have friends that go to the doctor if they sneeze. We just deal with it if we get sick, no doctor, seems to be working.

We also both love going to the dentist, but we don't get to every year...

Even before we were married I would make the appointments for him. If he didn't go I would stop doing that mind you.

My ex was a hypochondriac so I can assure you what you have is much better. You have no idea how annoying it is when your husband is seeing 20 doctors and is always sick with something or another.

Wow!

I have never made an appointment like this for my husband. I guess I see it as I have to act as his mother enough as it is, (cleaning up after him, picking up his dirty clothes off the floor, cooking his meals) that I don't need to make his appointments too. He is a big boy. He can make them himself or not go.

I make my kids' appointments. They need me to. Hubby is not a child.

My husband has not been to the doctor since I married him almost 5 years ago. If I made the appointment for him, he would probably laugh in my face, ask me what I was thinking, then cancel it.

My husband hates Dr. Offices and Dentist offices! I do encourage him once a year to get a full check up. I remind him when it is time. I always ask what day is best for you. He usually wants me to go with and I am ok with that. As long as he goes. Then I don't bother him any more. He is pretty healthy so as long as he goes once a yr or 2yrs I let him be.

my husband rarely goes - sometimes I make appts for him. Once in a while he will. I don't pester too much.

Mine goes to dentist appointments yearly, which I'm fine with once a year vs. every 6 months. However, up until about six months ago he hadn't been to the doctor for a regular physical in who knows how long. As a major believer in preventative medicine, I finally convinced him to go. Unfortunately he had a negative experience with the office he went to so hopefully this next year won't be even more of a hassle. Anyway, it definitely does take some effort on my end to get him to go. I won't give up though, if it's annoying...oh well. I care too much about his health to give up on him seeing a doctor once a year. It's much better to put up with a once a year doctor's visit/labs to make sure one is doing well than putting it off for years at a time then finding out something is going on that could have been detected much earlier...

I know it isn't pleasant to feel like a nag...but I feel that being a nag for this type of issue is well worth it! Certainly much different from nagging about errands, cleaning, etc. Good luck!

What is it about men and going to the doctor or dentist? Yes, I make the appointments for him and then he goes. If I don't, he won't. I don't have a problem with this because he doesn't have any health issues and he probably just figures that if nothing is broken, why should I fix it? Anyway, I bet your hubby likes it when you dote like that. (I think mine does.)

We don't bother each other about anything like that. This week my poor hubby got some chemicals from work in his eyes and could hardly see and was in so much pain. He didn't want to go to the dr of course. I said "you know hon, why don't we look online and just see some symptoms of chemical burns in the eyes, after he heard the symptoms and realized he had them and then saw the possible outcomes of not getting treatment, he wanted to go. So the only time I push is when he is in imminent danger, otherwise I leave it alone. Of course I never go to the dentist or dr either but I take my kids religiously, go figure....

My hubby makes all of his own appointments, I already have enough with my disabled son. I am lucky, my hubby has to have yearly DOT check (full physical) for him being a licensed self-employer contractor in MN.

My husband needs reminders, but he then takes care of himself.

It is not your responsibility, but if you don't mind, and he has a better chance of getting to the doc with your encouragement then I say keep doing it. You can't make him get there though, as you already know. so if he doesn't go..... let it go.

My husband's job requires he have the flight surgeon do a physical every 2 years. He wears contact lenses and has exams on schedule to keep his vision corrected properly (must have 20/20 corrected vision to stay on the job). We have used the same dentist for over a decade, and they set up his next 6 month exam before he leaves the office, and send a reminder card a week before the appt.

Other than that, he calls for an appt himself (or asks me to do it) if he is feeling ill.

I suppose in our house it is reversed from the 'norm'. I am the one who puts off going to the doctor when I have a cold or whatever. He is the one saying "Why don't you go to the doctor?". lol

If hubby's job (air traffic controller) didn't require regular physicals, then I don't know whether he would go for a routine exam every year or every other year or even every 5 years, or not... he's always had to do this (since he was about 23 years old or so) so that is just what we know.

I have always nagged my husband about dr's appts and such up until 3 yrs ago when he was diagnosed w/cancer - since that time he has handled just about everything that needs to be done. I think most of it is just them needing us to be there to hold their hand, which I really didn't mind. As much as I don't do anything at all, I still accompany him to all of his appts for moral support. Before that though, I would have to threaten him bodily harm to get him in to see the dr's b/c he was such a pain in the butt w/putting things off!