Wishing I Could Teach My Toddler to cosleep...yes I Am That Sleep Deprived!

Time for some sleep training! Start tonight since its the weekend so the 2 worst days will be on the weekend. She wakes up in the night out of habit b/c she knows you will come feed her. She does not NEED to be fed in the night, she WANTS to be fed in the night. Either pick a CIO method (like Ferber) and roll with it, or at the very least stop feeding her when you go to her. Give her a bottle of water. She wont be happy about it but after a while she will realize its not worth waking up for anymore.

How much total sleep has she been getting? It is possible she is overtired? It sounds wierd but overtired children have a much harder time sleeping through the night. When my baby starts waking at night, I usually respond by moving his bedtime earlier by 15-20 minutes for the next few days and it normally helps stop the night waking.

I took the bars off one side of the crib, and used bungee cords to tightly fasten the crib to my side if the bed, I then stuffed blankets and towels on the other side of the crib matress so our mattresses are super tight together. Now when my baby (11 months) wakes to nurse, I just pull him close and then shove him back into his crib when hes done. He sleeps happy since he feels like I am there, and I actually get to sleep instead of fighting him all night to get him back to bed.

Our response to sleep deprivation was to use the Ferber method. It took about 4-7 days, but it worked for us. We all functioned better with a full night's sleep.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Please don't rock her all night long. That's a terrible precedent to set with a child. You are the parent. She needs limits and boundaries. One of those boundaries is that she doesn't keep you up all night long.

Time to night wean. Really night wean. She does NOT need to nurse in the middle of the night. She wakes because you have trained her to wake for that nursing. Other moms are telling you to use the Ferber method. Do it and get real sleep. If she wants to stay awake in her crib, let her until she knows you aren't going to come in and get her. When she realizes that all the tea in China isn't going to translate into nursing and mom jumping through hoops for her, she will sleep and so will the rest of the family.

100% consistency is the key.

Dawn

A lot of people would advise against cosleeping, however I'm not one of them, as my husband and I have had HUGE success with it. My oldest son who is 8 now, co slept with us from age of 2 until 4. It took us only 3 days after he turned 4 to get him to sleep in his big boy bed. :-) Every child is different. Our youngest is 3 and if he wakes up at night, we let him sleep with us. We sleep BETTER and LONGER when we do, and our sanity and sleep is important as well as our child's. Don't think you're doing anything wrong....you're not. :-) children often have night terrors, and that's normal. Always remember that their fears are 'real' to them, and always try to comfort and keep them feeling safe. :-)

As a parent educator, I can tell you that the Ferber Method usually works after a few days. Most parents give in after the 1st night.

Read what Dr. Sears has to say, too.

I had 1 child who was a terrible sleeper. I started taking her outside every day from 3 - 4:30ish.(Even in winter if it was above 35 degrees)!!! The fresh air worked wonders !

Keep a log of what your child eats, too. Maybe it's a reaction to a certain food, dye in a food, etc...

Dr. Sears is an expert in this field and has some excellent advice for this! I am both a co-sleeper and a night nurser, so I feel your exhaustion. Though, my kids generally sleep pretty well. Your little one is old enough now though to not have you to spend so much energy or nursing on getting her back to sleep. If co-sleeping is not working for you, than perhaps making a little cot next to your bed will be helpful. The object is for both of you to get rest :) Here is a link to some of the advice:

Night Weaning 12 alternatives to the all night nurser:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/night-wea...

31 ways to get your baby to sleep and to stay asleep:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/31-ways-g...

and more:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/sleep-problems

Is she eating enough for dinner? My youngest (22 months old) is the pickiest eater in the world. He also has many allergies, so his food choices are limited. I have found that if he fills up on his favorite foods (meatballs or ground beef) for dinner, chances are he will sleep through the night. I tend to think he wakes up in the middle of the night because he is hungry. (He is also the world's lightest sleeper.)

If your daughter has a favorite food that you know she will eat for dinner, try feeding her as much as possible before bedtime and see if that makes any difference. Good luck to you!

Once my children reached about 6 months neither would sleep with me anymore :( If I'm in the room it's just way too stimulating for them and they will want to play instead of sleep. At this age your daughter really should be able to put herself to sleep and shouldn't need assistance (such as rocking, nursing, etc) in fact she shouldn't even really need to nurse during the night. At this point it's become a crutch for her and something she's relying on to sleep. You will need to gently teach her how to sleep without your help. I would recommend bedtime be about 12 hours before her usual wake time. For my daughter this is 8 PM. So I start our bedtime routime at 7:30 pm. We go wash her face and teeth, then change into PJs, then read 2-3 book, then I turn off the lights, and we rock, cuddle and a couple songs. I then give her a hug and kiss, lay her in her crib, tell her how much I love her and that I will see her in the morning, and then calmly walk out the room and close the door. She does not cry and she gives me big hugs in the morning. However, the first few nights, your daughter probably will cry when you leave, but probably no longer than 10 min. You could go in after 10 min. if she's still crying but do not pick her up, just rub her back until she calms down then calmly walk out again. This will really only take a few nights until you and probably more importantly, your daughter, will get the sleep she really needs but just doesn't know how to do yet! Trust me, I KNOW how hard this is, and probably not what you wanted to her, but it will be better for everyone in the end. Good luck Momma!

I had one nephew who had a hard time falling back to sleep. What I did that helped was make sure the bedroom is VERY dark and then I would make him all comfy cozy next to me and then I would turn over on my side facing away from him. This took away the 'fun' stimulation of me, I think. Worked like a charm!

~You are not crazy for wanting sleep! I have always allowed my kids to come into my bed when they woke up in the middle night and all 3 of my kids grew out of it at a young age. My sister co-slept with both her kids and they too transitioned to their 'big boy' beds easily as well. I know that for some, the transition is horrible but try not to let all the horror stories scare you. Not all kids are the same!

Hi, Mom:

Is she cutting teeth? Cutting teeth is very painful for
toddlers, especially at night. Call your ped and
get a RX for Hurrican gel to put on her gums,
if that is the problem.

Good luck
D.

What about the couch? Is that an option? Sometimes I would hold DD and if we fell asleep on the couch, DH would put her/us back to bed when he woke up.