Will I Ever Have a Normal Baby Again?

Sweetheart,

I am so sorry for your losses and experiences! I really don't think there is anyone that can tell you what you have the strength to endure. I miscarried 6 times around the 6th or 8th weeks each time. My first was a molar pregnancy (1 in 2500 for the age I was). It could have caused me to have cancer and I nearly had to endure chemo. I have had over 10 surgeries to correct things along with D&Cs.

I am currently pregnant with our first successful pregnancy. It took forever (9 years!), but the want of a child is a great drive. You already have one child and you are so lucky that he is a healthy baby!

You have to look inside yourself for the answer to your question. No one has the ability or the right to tell you what to do next. All I can say is give the one you have the tightest of hugs and give yourself some time.

My heart goes out to you!

Jodi

I'm so sorry :-( I am not a real pro on endometriosis or anything so my opinion prolly doesn't mean much.. but it's prolly not good for your body to be pregnant again so soon, maybe you should wait another year? I can't exactly tell you what to do because I imagine (I've never lost a baby so that's all I can do..) it's really painful for you to go through all that, but if you really want a baby and you think you could pull through that & be ready to face a possible problem-whatever the cause-than go for it.

Good luck!

M.,
I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I had 6 miscarriages and went through similiar hell ! Then I got smart and adopted a beautiful baby boy. He is now 7. I kick myself all the time on why I didn't do it earlier. If you want another child so badly Please look into adoption. I know all about the feelings of that but the truth is he is my child. Its like I gave birth to him. A woman once said to me "Bugs can have babies but being a "mother" is what it is all about. Adoption is a WONDERFUL thing. I hope you find you answer.
God bless you, L.

First I would like to say I am sorry for your losses. I can only imagine how devastating that has been for you and your family. I haven't been through any situations like this, but my mom lost her first child to a chromosonal defect and he died 45 minutes after birth. She went on to have me and my younger sister who are both perfectly healthy. She was in her 30's with all of her children. If your doctor has indicated you could try again, I just want you to know there is hope for healthy babies and above all you already have one precious angel to love if that isn't in the cards for you.

I am sorry to hear that you have had such problems. It is NOT your fault. These things happen. :( It is hard to deal with. From all I have read over the years on endometiosis ( I was told I had it at a very young age and found out later that is was a something else)and been told by doctors I do not think that is causing the problems in the babies. I know that with some people that have endometiosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (that is what I have)they tend to have a higher miscarriages rate and some have no problems with them. The aer many things that can cause the problems you have had and some times its jsut a fluke. When I was trying to have my son and having trouble my doctor told me that many ladies have miscarriages and that it a lot of cases its that your body was just not ready yet. The same can go for birth defects I would imagine. I don't know if any of this helps or not but just know you are NOT at fault adn you are NOT alone. :)

The hardest thing to do is to wait -- yes, I have been there. I would encourage you & your husband to talk directly with your doctor and ask those questions. Also you'll need to get in to have a super high level sonogram and if the condition is confirmed, into a pediatric specialist who can advise and work with you now. Don't give up- this is not a done deal. Try to stay patient and take notes, get copies of the reports and you may need to get a 2nd opinion for your situation. Please let me know how things go!! Good luck and God Bless you all! S.

I believe it is normal to have the intestines outside the abdomen at 11 weeks, they naturally go through a progression where they are outside and then go inside. You may want to get a second opinion.

I'm absolutely not a medical professional. However, these don't seem like they could be related to a previous abortion. I'm hoping that if you have any sense of unforgiveness in yourself for having done that, that you can come to terms with it. There are abortion recovery groups, if you haven't already checked that out. I hope you can find healing in your heart for that. I have a friend that had a healthy baby. Then she got pg and lost the baby in the 5th month because of a problem with the umbilical cord. She got pg again, and lost the baby again in the 5th month because of a problem with the umbilical cord. The babies were both girls. She was devasted. She finally got pg again, this time with a boy. They monitored her very, very carefully, and she delivered a wonderful baby boy. And she subsequently had a third boy and is now a very busy happy mommy of 3 boys. Don't give up hope.

Did they say it was a gastroschisis? From what I know about gastroschisis, it is not a fatal abnormality, and can be successfully repaired & treated, and the child can live a normal life.

If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't even consider terminating this pregnancy. When you say "should I try again" does that mean you are going to abort this baby just because it has a defect?

M. I just wanted you to know I would pray for you. If you believe in God, know that he will guide you through these days. IF the Lord closes a door, he opens a window. You are never out of Hope if the Jesus is in your heart as your Lord and Savior. Be stong and stand firm with him by your side. Love and in my Prayers, GR

my newphew also had the condition where his abdominal organs were on the outside. after he was born, he spent a few months in nicu. now, he is a healthy, very active 3 year old boy! i just said a quick prayer for you and hope this gives you some comfort.

Hi M.:

I read and read all of the ladies stories about what they went through and felt their heartache.

I have been very blessed. I had a healthy pregnancy when their was no reason that I should have and I almost had an abortion but could not when they told me it was twins.

You are very lucky to have your child but at the same time you have been through hell. Hearing what you have gone through has made me feel so fortunate. God Bless and I hope everything works out.

First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for you for all your losses and struggles.

Second, I had a neighbor who was 18 whose baby boy had Gastroschisis. This is her first child. This was just about 10 months ago. Last I heard her baby was home from the hospital and was doing well just a few weeks after birth.

I would not associate your previous surgeries with the current deformity. It just sounds like you are being tested to make the correct choice. Give it some time and continue with your search for answers. Then you can decide what to do currently and in the future.

God Bless you and good luck,
TL

We all face challenges in our lives, that is what helps us to grow and become stronger. You are very lucky to have a healthy baby boy the first time. After being married for 15 yrs. and adopting 4 children, we got pregnant with our 1st and she was born 3/1/07. I will be 40 in a couple of weeks. Have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling? About trying again? Have you and your husband discussed trying again? You are lucky your doctor caught the birth defects in enough time for you and your husband to be able to make the decision you did. You need to ask yourself, how important is it for us to have another baby and do we truly want another one? If the answer is YES, than go for it. I truly believe that the Lord will bless both you and your husband, but you have to meet him half way. And he will carry you the rest.

M.

That sounds very hard. The defect your current baby has can be corrected with surgery with high success from what I've seen/read. Did your Dr discuss the surgery?

*BIG HUG* I feel for your loss and your family will be in my prayers.

C.

It is called Gastroskisis (totally spelled wrong) - my nephew was born with this and is now a Happy and Healthy 3 year old. This is not a concern to abort the pregnancy, most of these babies survive with little or no problems!!!! It is a fluke thing, no one in our family or his father's family has had any birth defects.

Please, Please, Please do some research on it before deciding to abort or not - you'll find that modern medicine can do wonderful things and these babies are perfectly normal in every other way, just have a scar from surgery where the internals are put back into them!!!!!!

PM me privatly and I know my sister would love to talk to you about this issue - she is such a wonderful mom and has been through a lot with him when he was going through this and can give you some insite to what is going on, what will happen, etc....

M., I don't have any experience to draw on or advice to offer, but my heart just went out to you when I read your post. The emotional highs and lows must be so intense. I hope you find the answers that you are looking for.
I don't know if you've thought about this or feel that I might be useful, but I have a friend who sought counseling while having some pretty serious complications and she benefitted greatly from it.
You are in all of our thoughts...

M., I understand what you are going through. I lost my first child at 20 weeks from an abnormality, and it was really difficult to deal with. It was especially difficult because they had to induce labor. I don't know how I would have gotten through this without the support of my husband. My family lives in Australia, so it was very hard for them and me to be so far away. All I know is that I now believe in God 100%, because going through what I went through I always had a feeling of hope and love and faith that everything was going to be OK. This site is so awesome - to have a place where you can talk about it and get responses. The worst thing for me after it all was the silence. Nobody said anything (except our family). No "I'm so sorry", nothing. It was like I wasn't even ever pregnant. I hated that, so I really just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and it will all be OK. Give yourself a little time to heal, both physically and emotionally. Make sure you are taking adequate folic acid (my doctor bumped me way up). We are very blessed to now have a beautiful baby girl - who I never take for granted and love every minute of the day. Have faith and best of luck.

Hey M.! I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I had a miscarriage about 4 years ago. They aren't sure what happened other than the baby's heart just quit beating. Also I was suppose to be 9 weeks pregnant, but the baby was only measuring 6 weeks. It was pretty hard for me, but I knew that there was a reason. Then I got pregnant with my daughter, and had some complications later in the pregnancy. Thankfully everything worked out, and now she is a healthy 2 year old. When I got pregnant with my son, same thing started happening. I was spotting, then he wasn't measuring the right size. I had to live with this for a week, so we could see if he was growing. I know exactly what you are going through about thinking there is something wrong with you. I beat myself up for an entire week over it. I told everyone that we were blessed to have my daughter, and we would never be able to have another child. Thankfully, he grew like normal, and I never had another issue with my pregnancy.

I really just wanted to let you know that it's not your fault. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your family. God bless you and your baby!

R.

M.,
Stay strong. You're in my prayers. I have not gone through anything near what you've have. Just know you have support around you.
D.

I haven't been through anything like this but wanted to offer my thoughts of hope and my prayers for you. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through..... the roller coaster of emotions.... but wanted to let you know that I was thinkig about you...