Widow Mom

Updated on July 23, 2008
C.P. asks from San Antonio, TX
11 answers

I am a single mother of a 14 year old daughter and my husband just passed away in May of this year. It has been devastating to us both and now with all that has happened I am needing financial advice. I am trying to get back on my feet and my credit is shot due to medical bills and car reposessions and other small bills. I don't know where to turn to get out of debt. I had considered a credt counseling service, but I barely make enough money to make ends meet. I just need someone to give me a chance to either get a consolidation loan or some help. At this time, I may have to let my daughter live with my sister-in-law in Florida due to no transportation and financial stress. Thank you.

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M.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Contact Harvest Fellowship Community Church and ask who you can talk to there. They have various counselors and church members who could possibly help you. If they can't help you, they could probably refer you to someone. www.harvestfellowship.org

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May I make one suggestion? Rather than have your daughter move to Florida, would your sister in law be willing to help you financially with a child support type of payment. Your daughter really needs you right now and I think that you probably need her, too. I know you are only trying to do what is right. It must be so hard for you. Please know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Blessings, comfort and love in Christ,
M.

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P.R.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi C.,

My name is P. Rodriguez. I am a financial analyst in the San Antonio area. I am willing to do all I can to help.

I am a single mom as well of three 8, 4, and 2. I'm brand new at the single mommy thing, but I already know it's a tough load. All the advise others on mamasourse is sound. I think it's beneficial. I would like to invite you to a program my church offers called Grief Share. It's designed to help with the healing process. As far as the financial situation. A plan can only work if you work it, but when your hurting it helps to have someone to walk along side of you. That's where I come in. Our services are free. Please contact me when you have time and we can talk about your possibilies.

P.
[email protected]____.com
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L.D.

answers from San Antonio on

Our sympathies to you and your daughter!

You're going through quite a rough patch, but trust that is all it will be - a patch! You CAN and WILL get through it.

You've received great advice and some good offers for help - check them out. The only other thing I have to add is you can call your creditors yourself and ask to lower the interest rate, or even defer payments due to family hardship/death of your spouse (that's what most credit counselors do to lower your payments anyway). Most people want their money, so as long as you talk with them and make some kind of payment each month (even just $5) they should work with you.

If you have one or a couple credit cards, call them ASAP - don't let them hit you with fees and high interest rates. Explain the situation. If one customer rep you talk to is rude, hang up and call back to get another one - you can get a lot more done with a nice service rep!

Keep going and you'll make it past this rut in the road.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Dear C.,

I am very sorry to hear of your great loss! I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your duaghter.

In terms of finances, if you own a home, perhaps you can look into refinancing with "Wright Lending" 1-866-why-ross (www.866whyross.com) to get yourself into a "cash flow" Mortgage. We recently refinanced into this "cash flow" mortgage and now only pay $200/month for our house. The rest of the money we would normally be paying toward our mortgage, we are now able to use to pay down our consumer debt then begin to build up our savings.

We also have an account with CCC (Christian Credit Counselors) and they have helped us to accelerate our debt reduction. They were able to get all our credit cards down to the lowest possible interest rate and now manage the distribution of payments to each creditor.

Consider seeking benevolence through your local church. If you don't have a local church, consider joining one. They will be overjoyed to reach out to you!!

God Bless you!
A.

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C.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Dear C.,
I am so sorry for your loss and I know your needs will be met. You have some good suggestions from the other moms. My suggestion is to find an attorney who can help you file bankruptcy. I believe there are still ways to file Chapter 13 (the one that you don't have to pay back-I think its chap. 13). I am sure just thinking about having to pay for an attorney adds to your concerns, but I would see if your church and/or your community can help you pay for an attorney. The problem with consolidation is you are still having to pay your debts back and from what you said, it sounds like you cannot. I say, get debt free! I realize the laws have changed on bankruptcy, but you are definitely a candidate that may very well qualify. Perhaps, there is a mom that will read your request and maybe she will be an attorney . I pray one comes your way and shows mercy and grace in helping you out. I can't imagine your grief, but I pray you will be comforted and all your needs will be met. In fact, I know they will be met because God promised to care for the widows. P.S. This is a very bold questions to all the moms out there, but if someone is in a good financial situation and has means to a car for C., can you please help? I would but I am a fulltime student with no income.

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T.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Dear C., I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and I wish that I could help you but the only thing that I can offer you is prayer and I know that everyone in this web page "Mamasource" will also join me in prayer. Power of Prayer does wonders,May God Bless you and may the good lord keep you and your daughter in his loving arms always.

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T.M.

answers from San Antonio on

You should try consumer credit counseling. They do not charge for helping you.

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K.H.

answers from San Antonio on

You could check out the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Program. Good luck.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Try Christian Credit Counseling. They are non profit and should be able to help. They would be able to give you good advice. I know that my in-laws had huge medical bills and actually had the debts forgiven. There is hope. I've never used this service, but I've heard good things about them.

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B.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Morning C.;

Sorry to hear about your loss and the problems you are facing!

#1 It is never as bad as we think it is!

Since you did not list your income or what the debts are
it is impossible to give you "Sound" advice.
Primarily Budget is the only thing you can do:
First list your necessities:
Rent, Groceries, Electricity, Water, phone
Those are the things you have to have, well you can do without a phone but, it does make life hard if you do.
You have to have a place to live, so rent is #1, that could
also be a house payment. If it is a house payment then there
is the consideration of is it more than you can afford?
If it is, put it on the market and sell it and move into
an apartment that you can afford!
Groceries are the second thing. You may have to eat Rice
and Beans and Beans and Rice for a while,but, you can do that!
Careful shopping for groceries can save lots of money and get
food that is healthy.
Electricity== controling this is hard, but a necessity. Turn
off the a/c when not at home, turn off lights when not in
use. Set the a/c thermostat at 72 degrees, not really cold but
cool enough to be comfortable.
Water---forget watering the yard. It may die but, it will come back when it rains.
Phone===use one of the low providers with limited minutes.
Watch your useage of minutes closely, stay within the given
coverage===400 minutes ect.
Clothing---Yes--this is a budget item. You have a 14 year
old daughter and I know you want to dress her the best, but,
hey, "Breathing" is important and piece of mind, so shop
the discount stores, buy things there, no one knows where you
bought her clothes.
You said you do not have a car,so a bus pass is also part of
your budget. A pass for you and your daughter,buying the bus pass will save you money.
Now the rest of the "Bills". Take the smallest one that you
owe and work on it. When it is paid off, then the next and
then the next and if you plan well, maybe in 3 to 5 years you
can be out of debt!
You have to make a plan and work the plan!
One of the people said Dave Ramsey is good and he is, he has a radio show on KTSA daily and he has books out.
Good Luck;
B. C

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K.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I have horrible credit and now getting it back on track. You do not need to pay anyone to fix it for you. I just found out myself. You can purchase your reports (all 3),and write letters of dispute to your creditors. Send a copy to the burroes aswell. They have 30 days to respond. I if they do not, then contact the burroe and they will remove the item off within 30 days. It takes time,but can be done.

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