Why Is My 6 Year Old So grumpy.She's Nice Then Mean. Please Help

Updated on October 16, 2010
L.N. asks from Montgomery, AL
10 answers

My daughter is 6 years old, she is sweet until she doesnt get her way, or her friends or little brother dont do as she says.She is very bossy and thinks she knows everything. She hates to lose in a game or be wrong i feel as though she is bypolar but then again she may be just spoiled.Please help i use to want to be around her all the time now its getting where i dont want to be around her but for a couple hours then i need a break.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Low blood sugar?
Hasn't been instructed in a positive way
about getting along with other people?
Is she cooperative in school?

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answers from Seattle on

Just based upon your description of her she doesn't sound bipolar but rather like many others her age. My daughter is 7 and is still this way some of the time. I've found that talking to them in a matter-of-fact tone and letting them know that while it's okay to be grumpy it is not okay to treat others wrong because of it and let her know that if she continues to behave that way that others will not like to be around her.

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answers from Seattle on

<laughing> I actually called it the "Bipolar 7's", but it could also have been the "Hot & Cold 7's"

(You know "year names" like; terrible 3's, stupid 6's, etc.)

It's a normal developmental stage.

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answers from Sacramento on

I think 6 is a tough age... actually form like 4 1/2 - 6 is when we really got it from our daughter. You don't mention the age of your son, but he may play a role in why she's acting the way she is.

At 6 they are old enough to do a lot for themselves, and struggling to be so "grown up." But at the same time they are still little; trying to find their place in the world and figure out where the boundaries are. With a younger sibling, she may feel like she's not getting as much attention simply because younger kids need more help. To her it translates as, "so what if I can dress myself, I'd rather have you help me because of the attention brother gets because he can't do it himself. I'll throw a big fit to show you how mad I am about it."

I'd urge you to get the book "Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child" and also "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Your Kids will Talk." Siblings Without Rivalry" can be a good resource too.

Good luck~ Have some patience with her. If you work with her it will pass...

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answers from Honolulu on

**Oh like Shira said... YES, when my girl is hungry and has low-blood sugar... she gets like this!

Ditto the women below.

Its her age.... little girls can be that way.
Mine included.
Like little PMS little women, already.

The book "Your 7 Year Old" is pretty good. From Amazon. Its written years ago... but is still very pertinent. It merely describes.. the age and what they are like. An easy to read book. There is a book, for each age.

each age-stage... brings with it, various developmental tendencies.

Keep to your rules... don't "argue" with her... because its a vicious cycle that cannot be won.

all the best,

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi L.,
Do you consistently discipline your daughter? What do you do when she is bossy and rude? It sounds like a character issue that could be addressed. It's hard to know when we really don't know the situation too well. I would think that keeping her close by your side non-stop for awhile might prove very helpful. You can then immediately address her issues and instruct and teach her how she is supposed to behave. She needs to learn to be a good loser as well as a *good* winner. Everyone likes to win best. However, we need to be gracious in both our wins and our losses. She doesn't know this naturally. We all are self-centered. But, you can teach her with patience and purpose. Hang in there! These are the highly intensive trainging years. They pay off huge if you take the time to do it now!

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answers from Sacramento on

Mom, is she getting enough sleep? SHe needs at least 10-12 hrs at this age I have heard. You need to get a handle on her behavior before she gets any brattier. Go to the library and bookstore get some books about bossyness and how to be a friend. You also may need to get some books on parenting a difficult child, there are pleny out there and even one with that name I believe. Are there firm and swift consequences that are age appropriate for her ugly behavior? if not you and any Dad and any caregivers need to establish some today. If not the tween and teen yrs that are just ahead will be horrible and she will rule the roost and be out of control. This type of behavior should not be allowed, or considered cute ( or funny, I have seen some familes who think it is in a child her age or younger) .I would not even think of the bi-polar thing at this age, you just need to take proper action as a parent and tame this child's bad behavior. Just curious, does she behave this way at school and have any friends? if so. you know it is something she can control and she is being a big manipulator at home. Clamp down and dont allow it. You are raising her to some day be a responsible member of society one day mom and dad, not a good friend. Hope this helps.

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answers from Philadelphia on

Bi Polar isn't grump then happy. The lows are bad depression and the highs (manic) are very happy, the feeling of I can do anything. My oldest is 9 and she will rage in a low, it's not even pretty and when she is happy she is sweet and loving and she can switch fast. I have Bi Polar Disorder and I can tell you from what you are describing it doesn't sound like she has it.

In my opinion you are describing a typical 6 year old. She doesn't like to lose a game, who does? Just model positive behavior.

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answers from Little Rock on

think its a girl thing...my boys (10 and 3 are so good...awesome!) but my girl, age 6 sounds a bit like yours. They are just very emotional compared to boys and I think she's sometimes jealous of the boys because they are so good and i hardly ever have to get on to them. I think being consistent, following through with what you say you'll do, and praising for good behavior will help. Hopefully they'll atleast get a little older and know the right way to act. Also talking and explaining everything is what I've been doing. Let's just hope this phase passes soon, and they grow out of it, and somewhere in their brain is all the good stuff we teach them! I've done the same things with my boys and they are so good, so i'm hanging on to hope!

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answers from Chicago on

She is SIX. Give her a break.

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