Why Does This Have to Be So Hard??

Wow! Lots of advice! I didn't read them all, but just wanted to put my vote in for reflux. Been there, done that. Sounds just the same. Talk to the ped...and good luck!

My first preferred the bottle so I pumped and gave him milk in the bottle. My second wouldn't eat well while I tried to sit and breastfeed him, but as soon as I laid down to feed him, he did very well. He just preferred a different position. You may want to try a different position to see if that works for you.

Good luck!

Hang in there - my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you really need to consult a professional, just so you have someone next to you telling you that you're doing a great job and can give you suggestions based on what they are observing. You do sound like you're doing an amazing job!! I remember with my first child the 3 week point seemed like the peak of when breastfeeding was at its worse (just as my big boy hit a growth spurt). Keep up the pumping/feeding because your body will respond and make MORE milk based on how much you are using. Totally normal that one side seems to produce more, but don't give up on the non-dominant side (my left leveled out and started to produce close to the same amount as my right after a while). Also, you won't get the same amount from pumping that your little one gets out of you when he's nursing, so don't let it fool you. I'm sure it is hard work nursing and if your son is used to getting the bottle, which is less work because the flow is much faster, he might just be getting frustrated at the breast because he's hungry and wants the milk to just flow out for him. Don't give up and try to just relax when he starts eating (I know that will be extremely hard to do since you are completely sleep deprived and nursing has become a very emotional/stressful thing). Also, you need to get your body on a time schedule - it sounds like it is working overtime right now (healing from giving birth plus you are nursing AND pumping). Even though your little guy is big for his age, his stomach is still super tiny, so its not unusual that he seems STARVING every 2 hours or so (which is awful when you spend 30 minutes feeding him and another 20 changing, burping, etc... as soon as you put him down it seems like it starts all over again). Thankfully, your older son is in school - you really need to try to take FULL advantage of sleeping when your little guy is sleeping during the day (the laundry and housework can wait!) Your body really needs some time to recover, even if you are feeling great.

I have a girlfriend that went to consignment shop/breastfeeding consultant center when she was having problems -- I think the services were FREE. She STRUGGLED with breastfeeding for a while, but things did turn around for her and she ended up nursing until her little one was close to a year old. I'm sure you really don't feel like going out, but it will be worth it to get some support right now. I left my friend a message and as soon as she calls me with the number I'll post it.

Until then, maybe you can get some advice over the phone from www.lalecheleaguestlouis.org ###-###-#### or Barnes J.H.'s kid line 314.454.KIDS (someone will have to call you back from this number - if you talk to Judy she is WONDERFUL!).

Hang in there... it will get better. Don't give up - your body is an amazing thing and you're doing a great job!!

Hi L. - you are not alone!! It is hard to get started, but it won't last long and you'll be smooth sailing.

It is perfectly normal to have one breast produce more milk than the other. It might even trade off at some point in time. Once he's nursing good, alternate which one you start off with.

Your milk is the ONLY perfect nutrition for your baby. Formula doesn't come close, so don't doubt yourself!!

This is all normal and you are NOT CRAZY!

My hosptial has a Certified Lactation Consultant - please check out your hospital - ask for the maternity ward and then ask about that. Ours answers questions and will meet with you without charges. She also runs a breast feeding support group. You can ask about that as well - it's wonderful because we're all in it together and the nurse helps with so many questions. If you don't have any of that, ask the same person if there is a La Leche League in your area.

Check out www.breastfeeding.com and www.kellymom.com - these are great websites to get good information from. Another thing to check out is the size of their tummy at this age. It's probably about the size of a ping pong ball. That helped me keep it in perspective. (An adults is only the size of a softball.)

One thing I would reccommend you do on those websites is to look at the growth spurt timimg. They go through a lot of those in the first 3 months and when they do, they are ferociously hungry! You have to keep putting them to breast to increase your production.

It almost sounds to me like your little man has gas when he's trying to eat. I encountered that from my milk intake. I cut that down (to almost nothing) and it made a differance quickly, although it does take a while to get it all out of your system, it helps some right away. Mylicon gas drops are not harmful at all to babies and you might try that to see if it helps at all. And, I would avoid the formula like the plague. For a couple of reasons, first formula does not have the perfect blend and does upset babies bellies, so if he's already having an issue, that will just complicate things. Second, every formula feeding reduces your production. (You are doing good to pump when he does take formula though). Third, it is going to add to his tummy problems...

Something that toook me a while to figure out was the order of things! When they wake up - feed them! It's hard because I wanted to look at her, change her, get a drink and then get down to business. Well, they are still learning too and you have to help teach them, plus they don't have much wakeful time. If you will nurse before anything else, as soon as they wake up, you will help with their time of attentiveness.

Breastfed babies don't necessarily need to be 'burped'. So, don't stress over that either. Lift them up to your shoulder, pat a bit and switch sides. Also, while he's struggling, go ahead and start with the side that makes more! It might also start flowing quicker too!

Once you get him eating better, like as soon as he wakes up, then change him, then play with him and get him back to sleep... I would also perk him up, so that he's eating every 3 hours right now. Work h*** o* this schedule for a few days and it will be natural and he'll probably sleep a bit better at night.

Please feel free to email me if you have any questions. You are doing such a wonderful thing by breastfeeding your baby. You can't buy him what you are giving him now and the benefits affect him the rest of his life!!

God Bless and good luck!
K.

I'm not sure why it has to be so hard, but it is! :o) I had tons of trouble just getting it right with my first son until a lactation specialist finally pointed out I was only giving him part of my nipple, and to cup my breast with my hand in like a "C" and put my nipple in his mouth that way, the entire nipple went in and he was happy and I was not sore much after that. My second son just seemed to prefer one side to the other and I don't know why. As far as your boobs producing different amounts, I'm pretty sure that is normal, I could get like 8 oz out of one boob and half or less out of the other, and thats just how it always was. One thing I noticed with my second son is that he just sort of liked to hang out on the boob for what seemd like forever. By the time he was "done" with one feeding it seemed like it was time for another one to begin. I think sometimes they just use to comfort themselves, and maybe he isn't actually hungry. As far as the tummy upset and spitting up, he could have reflux. My first son had that but luckily we got diagnosed with it in the hospital before we came home so he was being treated for it from the beginning. He still had hard times though, and projectile spitting up... it was crazy, and that was controled with medication! haha... I'd say if you are still feeling frutstrated tomorrow you should call your prediatrician. They should have a lactation specialist that can talk to you, and maybe even invite you in to breatsfeed with her with you so that she can give you some pointers. I had to do this with my seocnd baby even though I felt like I had just done it a year ago, of course I should remember, but you forget and every baby is different, lus you have post pregnancy hormone issues and scrambled eggs for brains right now anyway just b.c of lack of sleep and trying to be everything to this new baby and still Mom to your other child and wife to your husband.... exhausting! Anyway, I'd def. seek in person help soon, b.c it can wuickly become overwhelming. Good Luck!

You are doing great! Try to relax and take a deep breath. It is very hard in the beginning, but it gets easier. I have a 7 yr old son and a 7 mo old and I went through EXACTLY what you are describing. I thought it was going to be so easy, that I knew what I was doing. I was wrong! I think I cried for 3 months straight. My baby cried alot and didnt sleep well also. It doesn't last long though, so hang in there! As far as the breastfeeding, My advise would be to stop supplementing if possible. I was also supp. and as soon as I stopped my baby was much more interested in BF. He would also take a few sucks and then pull away and cry, so I think it is normal baby frustration. If he can just get used to BF without being switched between the bottle I think he will take to it better and be less confused. The formula is probably causing some of his fussiness also, mine was the same way and as soon as I stopped the formula he lost his "colic". I think breast milk is easier for them to digest. You might also try gas drops. Sometimes if you put him in a vibrating bouncy seat it will help. As far as the pumping, I had a hard time with the pumping this time around and didn't seem to ever get much but babies are much more effecient at getting milk than the pump, be assured he is getting enough! Your body will make as much as he needs. The more you BF him the more you will make, so supplimenting is not helping your supply. We all know how good breast milk is for our babies, so you might want to try a little longer. But if you can't do it, dont feel bad! Formula is perfectly fine and remember you aren't the first mom who gave their baby a bottle!!! The time you have been BFing him has already given him lots of benefits! Last but not least, learning to breast feed (for both of you) takes time. I wanted to give up every day for the first couple months, but it gets easier!

My experience with my second child was exactly the same. His issues were that I had overactive letdown, oversupply, and he also had allergies to dairy and soy. It sounds counter intuitive, but when they have food allergies (to what you are eating, through your milk), they want to nurse more because nursing is comforting, and their tummy always hurts.

The easiest thing for you to do long term is continue breastfeeding. Formula is expensive, making a bottle every time baby is hungry is inconvenient, and you will probably have more spitting up and tummy pain as a result.

For now, I would try to stop supplementing or you will lose your supply. Just because he is big does not mean he needs formula. Mine was 10 lbs by one week, too. That is usually because they are getting too much foremilk, and it causes fast weight gain in the early weeks. It will level out. Pumping doesn't always tell you how much you are making. My right side always made about 2x as much, no matter what I did, too.

Visit llli.org. Find a meeting in your area. The lll sponsors will COME TO YOUR HOUSE for free, watch you bf, and help you. Stop eating dairy. It should help noticeably within 3-5 days if that is a problem for him. You can do it; it just takes practice and adjustments, and the first few weeks/month is not going to be easy. But the next 11 months + will be!!!

Good Morning L.. Congratulations with your precious little Prince.. He was born on my Gr son Corbin's 4th birthday..

I had a hard time breastfeeding my first also, I finally gave up when I pumped only 1 oz. My doctor then had me go start to cow's milk. This was 35 yrs ago, though.

If you are trying formula use gas drops also. You can find them at Wal-Mart or any discount store or pharmacy. The off brand works just as well as Milacon (?).

Check with your Dr. or Nurse and let them know of your struggles and see if they may have any suggestions for you. When I struggled so much at first in the hospital the Nurse would come in and just take him to the nursery and tell me I wasn't trying hard enough.. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Dr. heard about it and I received a written apology.
Anyway I was a nervous first time mama and just couldn't get the hang of it. Nothing wrong with that either.

rest, de-stress and let hubby help fed him to, if possible. They feel the stress and tension also, makes them ansty, or cranky. Relax as much as possible when feeding (breast or bottle)
God Bless L., What a blessing to have a new little snugly, cuddly baby.
K. Nana of 5

As many people have said, check out La Leche League. With breastfeeding, it is all supply and demand. Babies are super hungry when they are little no matter what their size is. When my son was going through his first growth spurt (maybe at 6 weeks??) he nursed every hour. He was not quite as big - only a 9 pounder. Your baby's job is to work to increase your milk supply. If you supplement your baby is not being put to breast as often to do his job.

I had challenges with oversupply on one side. I also had a forceful letdown on this side. I found that when I fed my son he would nurse for a little while, then cry and pull off because of the letdown. It was too forceful. I couldn't soothe him to sleep because of the letdown. Also, there was some foremilk/hindmilk imbalance going on. The foremilk is the sugary watery less filling milk. The sugary/watery milk can make them more gassy, as well.

I got to the point where I was nursing mainly on the side that was not so forceful. I would pump on the other. If he finished the first less productive side, I would pump the second side to reduce the let down reflux so that I could actually nurse on that side.

The other thing that made my son not nurse well was lack of sleep. Since I had strong letdown reflux, I couldn't soothe him to sleep like many people could. This was extremely frustrating. I would often try nursing him when he first woke up. This seemed to work well. In terms of sleep, I also found the better he slept during the day the better he slept at night.

It is hard but it will get better. In a few months your son will be a better nurse; he will be able to control the flow more, and you will feel more confident. He will also be a better sleeper.

Good luck

My daughter will be 3 weeks this sunday and i'am completely breastfeeding her.Here are just a few questions to ask yourself as I do with my baby when breastfeeding seems difficult,are you holding baby right look at positon of you and baby are you comfortable is babys belly alinged with head down to feet is latch good or sloppy.As for rooting and seems hungry but the latch isn't right and baby cries opt to burp stand up and do a lil bounce as your walking around woth baby it is harder to burp a newborn but it gets easier also a nurse from the hospital told me if baby has eaten and gets fussy and is rooting looking for boob all the signs of wanting to eat but refuses to burp them and it works after it happens baby is calm.As for the milk suppy I get more from my left breast as I do from my right,I do offer the other breast at another feeding to allow time for the the other that ha been emptied to fill back up again.Take a deep breat drink plenty of fluids and relax she is only 3 weeks old and its too soon to give up breastfeeding.

Hi L.,
I feel your pain and know exactly what you're going through --I have a 16 yr old daughter & now my 7 wk old son, same breastfeeding issues and same thoughts and questions. I got a very helpful email when my son turned 3 weeks from the Babycenter website. Here's the link to copy and paste in your web window: http://www.babycenter.com/breastfeedingSolver.htm?scid=mb...
I also suggest talking with your son's doctor. When I had concerns about whether or not my son was getting enough to eat, his doctor reassured me that he was and gave me some helpful info on understanding how the breast produce the milk according to his feeding cycle and to be sure that I alternate the starting breast to ensure that each get the same amount of feeding time. For the supplementing & spit up issue, research your formula. At first I was using Nestle's Good Start Supreme mixed in bottled water and switched to their Soy now mixed with water for infants and now my son is doing much better. His doctor said I made a good switch and also suggested to gently massage his lower back and abdomen to help to gas move after each feeding. Try to stick with it and don't get discouraged. Your son isn't rejecting you, he's only letting you know he has an unmet need and needs you to figure it out for him. Sign up to get daily/weekly info from the Babycenter, it's a great resource for me. I'm also signed up on the Nestle site (www.NestleGoodStart.com). They send me coupons that make the formula almost half price, a very informative and healthy pamphlets addressing feeding issues and such plus parenting solutions. In my latest issue received last Friday, there's a number for questions about baby feeding issues that a registered dietitians answer 800-508-1717 and a video at www.StartHealthyStayHealthy.com/FeedingVideo, you can try them also. I hope I've been helpful cause I too feel like I'm a first time mom. Oh and remember to take care of you [naps, bath soak, a walk, quiet time] to refresh your energy so that you can take care of your son. I have to remind myself constantly and it makes a world of difference on the days I take a few minutes for myself. Good luck and be well, Tammy.

Please don't give up. It will be worth the effort. Right now today even- you have to see a lactation consultant. It sounds like your milk supply is in danger. Your milk is perfect but your supply is dwindling because your baby is not nursing adequately. Going to formula will only compound the problems your baby is having. Get help from La Leche League or a lactation consultant right away. All the problems you are having are normal and can be fixed.

If you think you are having trouble producing enough milk, you may want to try Fenugreek, an herbal supplement found at health food stores. There are tablets and teas.

My daughter's pediatrician recommended it when I was having to pump because she wouldn't nurse. It really did help with production. Good luck! This will get better!

Everything you are experiencing is 100% normal. What you need to do is calm down and relax. The more stressed out you are, the less milk you will produce and the more worked up your baby will be. It's a vicious cyle. Stop using the pump & bottles for a few weeks. Go back to just breastfeeding. If he is hungry enough, he will eat. You got over the hardest hurdle and that's him latching on. He seems like he is being a little overfed and might be the cause of so much throw up. Pumping to see how much milk your baby is getting is NOT a good gauge. No matter how good the pump is, it will never be able to empty your breasts like your baby can. It is perfectly normal for one breast to produce more milk than the other and some times they have different flow speeds as well. If you notice that the left breast produces less, you may want to start him on the left side each time for at least a week to help stimulate more milk production. Try not to worry about how much time he spends on each breast, just go by his queues. Relax and good luck!

Dear L.,
I feel your pain! When my daughter was born I went through much of the same thing - she would latch on and eat, then come off and scream and then eat a little more and then scream again. I kept at it but it was very frustrating for the first 4 or 5 months. At the time our pediatrician said my daughter might have some acid reflux going on so she was on medicine for awhile for that - that she was hungry but then the acid backed up in her esophagus and started hurting so she would pull away and scream but then still be hungry. You might want to talk to your doctor about that, especially if your baby is spitting up every time he eats.

I think it is normal for one breast to make more milk than the other, and I've also heard that pumping is not a great way to tell how much your breasts can make because the baby can often get even more milk than the breast pump can. Plus I think the more stressed you are the harder it is to pump as much as possible.

If you are a reader, I recommend the book Spilled Milk by Andy Steiner. I checked it out from the library. It was a GREAT encouragement for me about breastfeeding because it has stories from a lot of moms about the truth about breastfeeding and how hard it is.

Above all, don't beat yourself up if you're not able to keep breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is good for the baby but if you decide not to stick with it because it is too difficult then there is nothing wrong with switching him to formula even at this stage. Any breast milk the baby has had to this point has been a wonderful gift to him from you but formula is just as good. Do what you feel is best.

Good luck,
S.

I say you are doing a great job! The frustration is the hardest part. Take a deep breath and relax. It may take a long time to to get through a feeding. You have to be devoted to your baby and not worry about anything else. It seemed at first that all I was doing was feeding. It will get better. Just a couple of things: you won't pump as mucha s your baby is getting and if you are tense you definitely will pump less, it is normal to produce much less from one side than the other, and you have a hind milk and a fore milk. The hind milk is much more filling than the fore milk. Try for a while to just feed him on one side so that he can get all the milk and then pump the other side. If he has eaten for a good 15 min. on that side and still seems hungry then by all means offer the other side.

Also, I don't know if they have this at your ped's office but I go to pediatric care north and they have lactation consultants. They have these really high tech scales that they weigh your baby on and then weigh again after eating, do a conversion, and can tell you how many ounces your baby ate. Pretty cool and amazing! It really would put your mind at ease. They also told me that your baby will not eat as much breastmilk as formula b/c it is more filling.

About the squirming thing, my baby did that all the time. Don't give up. I learned that I had let her get over hungry. I had to calm her by rubbing her head, patting her butt, singing, etc. When she would rip off she usually had a big burp in there. It sometimes took awhile to get it out and then she would eat peacefully.

I hope this helps. I agree that something natural should not be so difficult. Best of luck! Hang in there, it will get better!

Hello--I would say--Yes, sounds pretty normal, and No, you aren't going crazy.

I had a very difficult time with my first baby (last summer) as well. She would not latch properly for weeks and would just go to sleep as soon as she did latch. It would take me almost an hour sometimes to get her to drain both breasts--between getting her latched, getting her to eat, waking her up, and starting all over again. I also had one side that produced several oz. more than the other. Be careful that you alternate which side the baby starts nursing from, because they usually are hungrier at first and will nurse better for the first few minutes, and sometimes they prefer one side over the other. So, for example, if you always start your boy on the left, and then go to the right, your left will produce alot more. Also, people say to drink tons of water to make sure you can make as much milk as possible.

If he doesn't eat much, I would suggest you pump to keep your production up. Though your production naturally falls in the afternoon/evening when you are more tired from the day and maybe dehydrated, if he isn't eating the same amount consistently your production will be affected. I know my girl would suddenly get hungrier for a couple days and then when her appetite would go back to normal, I'd always get a sore, swollen breast from the extra milk in there.

With his recent frustration with nursing, I wonder if he didn't get a little used to eating from the bottle--which is easier than nursing--and can make the baby a little lazy. :) I would make sure you use a slow-flow nipple so that he still has to work for it a bit when you give him a bottle. And keep encouraging him to nurse as much as you can. My girl was also difficult to burp, so I know that is really tiring! For us, we'd lean her chin into our hand and then pat her with the other hand so she's leaning forward a bit and we could see what she was doing.

I don't want to be a downer, but I'd say it took me a least 2 months before we were good at breastfeeding. So don't get discouraged! It sounds like you are having the same problems many of us have faced with nursing and you are doing your best! If you need more help--it's great to get someone to help you in person, like a lactation consultant. You can talk to your doc or your pediatrician and they should have recommendations, or referrals for a consultant.

Your milk is always good for your baby--especially if you're taking some vitamin supplements to protect your own nutrient supplies. Don't think formula is better for him--you've even noticed the formula can bother his tummy.

Keep up the good work, but don't let yourself get too run down. He needs you to be functional, and you don't want to get sick from the stress/lack of sleep. Plus--6 oz is a LOT for such a young 'un. Best of luck to you both!

Hi,
As for one side producing more than the other I think that is fairly common. My left side can produce 4X more than my right most of the time. Keep pumping if he's not emptying your breast(s). Production amounts vary from woman to woman but it seems that you are doing just fine. I had to supplement some for my son but I ALWAYS mix breast milk with formula. (Have you smelled straight formula.....Whoa....no wonder kids spit up on it!) :) By mixing 3 oz of breast milk with 1 oz of formula this seemed to help the spitting up issues as well as the not being full issues. My son had the hardest time latching on to the point where I pump all the time now.
If he is squirming away from your breast while eating you should talk to a lactation consultant. They are a great resource. It could be that he is getting tired of working so hard to get the milk that he gets frusturated and quits or it could be something you are eating (i've heard dairy can be h*** o* a baby) or a more serious condition with his little system. Gas drops are also a good thing to try especially if he's not burping well.
If you stop pumping/breastfeeding you will lose your supply. If he's not emptying your breast(s) I would encourage you to pump at least every 3 hours. This will help to ensure your milk supply and fill a bottle if need be. Please don't feel like you are alone. I think the majority of breastfeeding moms go through this. Hang in there! You are doing a great job and as everyone says.....the first 3 months are the hardest! :) Good luck and call a lactation consultant.

It sounds exactly like acid reflux. You should call his doctor this morning. Both my kids had this. He keeps eating because it feels good but the minute he is done it hurts. Then they get to the point that they know it hurts so they are hungry but don't want to latch on...cuz it hurts. My kids had it so bad. My friends call me an expert on reflux. I'd be happy to talk via phone to. A couple things you can do immediately...keep him upright between all feedings (swing/bouncy). Feed him slowly...this can be frustrating, but within a few feedings he'll get it. Give him a paci right after feedings...keeps the sucking "feel good" motion & helps keep the food down. Try nursing him holding in an upright position (this is not shown in books:) But it can be done! We had to get a Tucker sling too. This has them sleep at a 30 degree angle on their tummy. Sounds alittle crazy, but it helped. My sister-in law is using it now, but she may be done w/ it. All the above things you can try...there is no risk in trying them. In addition, I am secretly convinced that lactose intolerance can make the reflux worse...so you can stop eating all milk (which is hard, but can be done). In the end, you need to call his doctor. He probably needs to be on meds. for the reflux they will start him on a low doseage. If he has not improved (by a lot..less than 2 crying episodes a week) within a week, try a different med or higher dosage. Hope this helps. And honestly, I don't think it's the breastfeeding...it's the reflux making the breastfeeding hard. Get the reflux fixed and the breastfeeding will be natural again! But, if you want to go to an excellent lactation consultant try Kim at www.breastfed.biz. Myself & several friends have gone to her.

First of all, don't beat yourself up. I had a hard time breast feeding my kids, too, and at the time I felt really horrible about it. I mean, dogs and cats do this, right? But here's the thing....it IS hard. Also, your problems sound a lot like mine with my two kids that had reflux. This would explain why he would quit nursing after awhile (maybe he's uncomfortable) and why he would spit up more when given formula. I am not a proponent of medicating kids for just anything, but honestly, when my son got on Axcid sp? he was just so much happier. My son was over 10 pounds, too, and I eventually just had to go to formula, because by the time we got the reflux thing working, I wasn't making enough milk. Maybe you won't have that issue, and will be able to breast feed longer.
No matter what you end up doing, take comfort in the fact that your son already has received a lot of benefit from the breast feeding you've already done. Your heart is in the right place and you can be a great mom even if your son has formula.

It sounds like he may have cholic. Don't stop breastfeeding as formula will only make it worse. I went through this with both my kids, you just have to try and remain clam and this too will pass (about 3 months). Talk to your doctor, ours gave us some drops (don't remember the name) but they calmed the stomach and helped. This was about 17 years ago so there may be something better for it now. I know this is a very hard thing to go through.

He could have acid reflux. You might check w/ the dr. My daughter (who is 16 months old now) would cry and cry after she ate and we couldn't figure it out. Finally found out it was the acid reflux and got an Rx and it was soooo much better. You might check w/ the dr on that. Also, I do think that it is normal to have one breast produce more than the other - just don't give up if you really want to nurse (it is the best choice for the baby). It's only been 3 weeks and should get better. Hang in there.

Both of my daughters were sensitive to dairy in MY diet. My younger daughter has a milk allergy. Once I eliminated dairy from my diet, breastfeeding worked for us. My older daughter was diagnosed with reflux and Zantac worked for her. Try to eliminate some things from your diet first to see if that works. It takes 2 weeks for milk proteins to completely leave your milk, so wait at least two weeks before you decide if it's working or not.

I would start watching what you are eating... There might be something that is upsetting his tummy that comes out in the milk that you ate. So start a log of what you eat and how he is and start eliminating from your diet what makes him fussy....

Hi there,

You've gotten a lot of good advice already so I'm not going to repeat all of it, but it sounds to me like your little guy may have some reflux issues. My newest daughter was born on 1/9 of this year and we were dealing with the exact same thing. After trying EVERYTHING (breastfeeding, pumping, 5 different formulas, [I ended up stopping nursing after about 5 weeks b/c I had to supplement so much due to weight gain issues that it was just too much to deal with since I also have a 19 month old], etc.) we did some Zantac and that didn't do anything. Then we started Prevacid, 1/2 solutab once per day and she started to seem a little better, then we went to a whole tablet per day...A WHOLE NEW BABY! We call it her "Happy Medicine" b/c she went from not wanting to eat, not sleeping, crying a LOT, to being a smiley, happy, on a great schedule, now she sleeps all night, baby. She still spits up a lot which the dr. said would probably continue until she starts solid foods at 4-6 months, but she doesn't seem upset after she spits up now. So...this might be something that will help your baby. I know how helpless you can feel at times when you don't know what your baby wants, but just hang in there and eventually you will get it figured out. Let me know if you have any questions and I would be happy to talk!

Good luck!
~R.

Dear L.,
I don't think what you're going through is unusual. Some babies take to breastfeeding easier than others. I would call La Leche League and get some support from them. You may even want to consider consulting a lactation consultant. Don't worry about the financial aspect. Many are willing to offer help. I had problems with one of my children and found that the support was very helpful. Ultimately, you'll have to do what you feel is best for you and your baby. But, if you really want to continue breastfeeding, I would give them a call.

I am with you, for something so naturalit sure can be hard. With my second child, we just never got it. I had to give up nursing at two months because she just wasn't gettng enough, and she wasn't gaining weight. And that is after I nursed my first child jsut fine for 8 months. Good luck. Have you contacted any nursing support groups?

I agree with the posted that talked about reflux. I went through the same thing with my daughter who is now 3 months old. We talked to the doctor about it several times and were told to continue trying with breastfeeding and to keep her as upright as possible whiel feeding and for 15-30 minutes after feedings. She woudl also projectile vomit several times a week. SO we continued trying and I continued to be frustrated. The pediatrician finally started us on Zantac (which my son was also on when he was a baby) and the difference is amazing. She still has days when she has trouble but overall it is MUCH better. She is also sleeping better. Before the Zantac our evening were HORRIBLE. She would cry and cry for hours and nothing woudl make it better. I felt horible. Now she is happy in the evenings (most of the time) and sleeps through the night!

Just try and be patient and keep pumping when he won't eat. Talk to the doctor about reflux.

Good Luck!

K.

Don't give up! I breastfed my last two of four and it was so much better and loved it after I got used to it!

Call the hospital where you gave birth and ask to speak with an OB nurse. I've done that before and they are always happy to help you with questions and can offer you information on a possible support group in your area. Also, call your doctor's office and ask for the nurse, who could answer questions. You want to make sure he is getting enough and its important to get their advice so he is for sure getting the nutrients he needs. Don't be shy to call them and ask for advice! They have always been helpful to me. Some communities have a support group.

Breast milk is SOOO much better for the baby and you and you won't regret breast feeding, but its not as filling as formula.

Your little one might be lactose intolerant. We just went through this with my son. He wanted to nurse all of the time, but would end up crying after every meal. I eliminated all dairy from my diet, and he's a totally different baby. You would be amazed at how many infants have this problem. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

You are doing a GREAT job. Dont get frustrated (easier said than done, I know). It is completely normal for each breast to produce different amounts. Sometimes babies are just unhappy for reasons unknown to us- but perhaps you may want to try a different formula (gentle-ease, or something for sensitive tummies) when you are supplementing. I would have to highly recommend you using any resources you have available, like a breastfeeding clinic or something like this near your home. You can go in & weigh your baby before and after feeding so you have a better idea how much he is getting- as well as wonderful advice. Make sure you are drinking EXTRA water too as this will help production. & sleep whenever baby does--- you are tired too.

My first advice is to calm down, it is relatively normal what you are going through, added stress can cause decreased milk supply. Make sure that you are as relaxed and calm as possible when breast feeding. Have you talked to his pediatrician about this? It is very possible that he is lactose intolerant or allergic to milk (which yes, they are 2 totally different things). Try to cut dairy out of your diet and see what happens with him. This can also explain why he gets more tummy troubles with the formula than with you. Also, make sure that you are driniking lots of water. One of my friends felt that she wasn't producing enough and ended up taking fenugreek which is a natural supplement that she got from supplement store. She said that it worked great for her and she had also tried Mother's Milk Tea and it worked but not as much as the Fenugreek tablets.

I feel your pain. The first few weeks with my son is still a blur because I was so wrapped up in getting the breastfeeding thing figured out. I never imagined it would be so hard. You might ask your doctor about reflux. If he starts eating then pulling away, that could be it. It is also worse while they are lying down, so that could be waking him up at night. A lot of times they recommend that you raise up one end of the bed so that he is in more of an upright position. Just my two cents. And hang in there...you'll get it figured out.

I had many breastfeeding issues with both my kids, some similar and some not. I found my perfect help and support in Karen Nelson a nurse practioner out of Johnson County Pediatrics. She specializes in breast feeding and pediatrics and is just the best council and friend you could have at a time like this. Their office is next to Shawnee Mission Medical Center. I must tell you I worked with a breast feeding support group the first time around that didn't really help. Karen was exactly what I needed. ###-###-####

It could be food allergies. A friend's baby had issues with lactose, but it takes up to 3 weeks for it to get out of your system when you stop consuming it.

My son was the exact same way when he was an infant. It was heartbreaking to feel like I couldn't nurse him. It turned out he had reflux which had caused esophogitis. It was coming back up (from the reflux) and all the stomach acid was burning his little throat. The pediatrician put him on liquid zantac and once it kicked in, things got much better! He started eating and was much happier. He still spit up a lot, but wasn't miserable all the time, and neither was I any more!

Let me start off with saying I feel your pain. I went thru the same thing my son was latching on and nursing like a champ but then I would pump for someone else to feed him and I wasnt getting alot when I pumped. I was stressing over it bigtime. Stress can cause some major problem. Ya gotta relax drink lots of water. Have you tried holding him in different holds? The football hold always worked great for my son, I would lay a pillow next to me place him on the pillow and he nursed great, I would nurse him 10 mins to start, burp him, switch to the other side, 10mins then burp him. I would then up it to 15mins on each side. and repeat the feeding and burping. He eventully nursed for 1/2hr on both sides then and hour. Good Luck if you have any more questions feel free to PM me. I nursed my son for 16 1/2 mths. He is now 3. I even got mastitis of the breast and thought I wasnt going to be able to nurse him anymore.

First, everything Kelly K said! She was right on.
Second, several said it, I'll say it again, lactation consultant. Their help saved my breastfeeding relationship with my first daughter, and it lasted past her 4th birthday.
Third, sounds like he's growing fast? Mine had lots of latch issues, lots of spittiness, hungry all the time, only nursed from one breast and rejected the other, etc, but whenever I asked anyone if things weren't right, they said, "She's growing like a weed, she must be getting plenty of milk." Doesn't make nursing easier, but it does let you let go of worrying about your baby's health.
I could tell you our whole story, but it would probably be more useful if you just do whatever Kelly K said. Message me if you want to hear more.
good luck!(not that you need it, you're doing much better than you think!)

When my son was a few weeks old, we had the same problems. I always felt he wasn't getting enough. All of the stress and lack of sleep certainly will decrease your production, so try to relax and see if someone can give you a little time for you to take a long shower, take a time out, etc. Also, supplementing with formula could work against you when it comes to production. I cut out wheat and dairy from my diet at different points on the advice of my ped, and neither made a difference. Things turned up around six weeks finally and went better for both of us, and my son seemed to struggle less until he was just under four months, when he nursed non-stop and still began to lose weight. (he was also a big baby) I finally supplemented with formula and nursed as much as I could until after six months when I started him on solids. I agree with the other mom, do what you can and know that you really tried. And don't kick yourself if nursing just isn't best for you and your baby. Or move to more formula if you need to and if the baby responds well, and try to still nurse a couple times a day. At least the baby will still be getting some of your antibodies and the bonding experience. Good luck. I can sympathize with what you are going through. Thank goodness everything passes.

My son was exclusivly breastfed for the 1st year and he did the same thing that yours is doing. About this time, they diagnosed him with reflux and put him on a liquid form of Zantac, he hated taking it but it worked. I hated giving it to him but I knew that it would help keep the milk down and helped with the crying. I complained about him not liking the Zantac and they switched him to disolvable Prevacid which smelled like cherries so he liked it a lot better. I would put the pill in a medicine syringe, push the plunger part all the way in and suck up a couple a little bit of water and swirl the syringe around to make sure that the pill had dissolved and gave it to him that way. It worked better than the Zantac and he liked it better too. I hope this helps. Sounds like you've got a hungry man but stick with the breast because you know that it's best! I did produce more on one side than the other also so when he was done eating, I would pump from the breast that produced less and it told my body that my baby was still hungry and I ended up producing more that way. I hope this advice helps you and your son. I'm guessing that you'll be going to the dr pretty soon so mention what you've told us about the spitting up and if they offer Zantac, see if you can get Prevacid. Obviously different meds work for different people but the Zantac tasted like menthol and the Prevacid was like cherries!

So much good and helpful advice has already been given but I would just like to say again to enjoy feeding your baby, relax and take your time. It's not something to worry about and that makes the baby tense too so just cuddle and enjoy and burp and go to the other side. If he seems hungry again then feed him, within a reasonable amount of time, and your milk will build up to what he needs. It takes time for both of you to adjust. Try singing to him and calming him and see if that helps too.

One thing that I would suggest doing is meeting with a lactation consultant. Most hospitals offer it free if you delivered there. I know for a fact that OP Medical Center does (i delivered there).

It is also common to produce more from one side then the other. I breastfed and pumped until my daughter was 6 months (now she's 7). Another this I would suggest is reading the book Babywise. It will help on your milk production, let down reflex, and learning how to understand his cries. The overall feeding overview is to feed your newborn every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, then keeping them up for an hour and then naping and hour to 2. For instance you just woke your little one up at 9am, you then feed him which may take 30-40 min, then change his diaper, play for 30 minutes (all of this taking 1 to 1 1/2) then put him down for an hour to 1 1/2 anp and then repeating the process. This should help your body produce enough milk and the right kind of milk that is the most nutrious.
If you've done all these things and he is still upset i would call your doctor and see what they say.

Good luck.

When I was trying to breastfeed, I realized, that this "natural" process, was anything but natural!
You are doing everything right, you are nourishing, cleaning and loving your baby. Can't ask you to do much more than that!
Everything you described is normal, but you should call your OB or hospital and make an appointment with a lactation consultant.
They will help you get on track. But if you decide that breastfeeding isn't for you, don't beat yourself up.
I nursed my 1st for 10 weeks (about 10 weeks too long) and at his 8 week check up, my pediatrician told me to stop, then my OB told me to stop. THey both said, if I was tired and crabby and worried all the time, I was no good to my baby. They were right! After I weened him, I enjoyed him so much more. My husband was able to help without me yelling at him and we got along better.
If you continue to feel like you are going crazy, don't be ashamed, that IS normal! Talk to your doctor, that is what they are there for.
Good luck and hope you get some sleep soon ;-)

First off - CONGRATS and I commend you on your efforts! Keep with it!

Right now, he may be going through a growth spurt. I remember at three weeks my son wanted to do nothing but nurse every hour or so (yes, all night also!) and would cry like he wasn't getting enough. The fact of the matter is, he probably wasn't, which is why he wanted to nurse so much. He HAD to in order for it to signal my body to produce more. We worked through that rough couple days and my body decided it needed to produce more, and after that he didn't have issues.

That said, I worked a LOT at the hospital learning to get him to latch well. First time mom, so we EACH had to learn to nurse well! We taught each other, and now we are better for it! La Leche League is a wonderful resource. Use them. Also refer to kellymom.com. Best wishes!!

I don't have a lot to add to the other advice you have already received...the biggest thing is for you to try and relax!!! ( I know I know, easier said than done!!)(Maybe a glass of wine while you are nursing in the evening??? can't hurt...lol) The only thing I didn't see commented on was the difficulty you are having with burping...breastfed babies don't get nearly as air when they are nursing as bottle fed babies do, so don't feel like he HAS to burp midway through his feeding. Also, one of my daughters would NOT burp if she was laid across my knees or on my shoulder...she needed to MOVE....if I alternated her between laying down and up on my shoulders...it would somehow "loosen" the air bubble and out it would come!!!
I second the idea of a lactation consultant...contact your OB GYN or Lemaze for suggestions in your area.
God bless you all
R. Ann

my son was ALWAYS hungry, and NEVER seemed full, and then that would cause him to get overfull, spit most of it up, then start over again. i was told he had reflux, and went through all the "remedies" for that...he really only got better as he got bigger. all the burping in the world didn't seem to help at mealtimes, and it's very hard to ration your infant's intake...we had a rough few weeks too, you'll get through it. in a lot of ways this is the hardest time. good luck!

Please don't be so h*** o* yourself, every child is different. It sounds like he could have any one of several issues. One being that he is not a strong sucker. Contact the LeLeche League and have them help you out. If that doesn't work then he could have reflux with the spitting up he is doing. Or it could be that he has an allergy to milk. If you are drinking milk and breast feeding then that could be it also if he has an allergy, since it goes thru the breast. Contact your doctor about the latter two. I do hope it gets better for you and that your new little one will eventually settle down. Just remember you are doing what you can and that is all you can do. Don't beat yourself up in the mean time. You are a great mom, I'm sure. Good luck and God Bless.

You sound very stressed out, and thats very normal for you to be. I am going to 2nd the lactose intolerant thing. I guessed my son was, because no doctor could figure it out. But that was after I switched him to formula, because the breastfeeding was a disaster! So I went out and got him lactose free formula and all was well.
If you can, you could make an appointment with his pediatrician, let them know whats going on, if they suspect the lactose thing they can give you advise on what foods to stay away from. They actually make almost all dairy products lactose free now. I am thinking this, because my son would do the same thing, he was hungry but for some reason, it seemed like it hurt him to eat, and he eventually stopped eating a normal amount until I was very concerned. If you can get that straightened out and it goes well, then great. Breastmilk is best for your baby, but if breastfeeding is making you both miserable, thats not best, and dont beat yourself up or let anyone make you feel bad if you decide to stop. You will figure him out, maybe not as soon as you like, but you will. I could tell you not to stress but its invetiable. He sounds like hes gaining beautifully and you dont have to worry about him getting ill from lack of eating. It is stressful, but you will get through it. Good luck. Congrats on baby, I promise it gets easier!

Google Le Leche. They have folks all over the place to answer these kind of questions. Also try getting off foods that produce gas, (broccoli, beans, etc) Maybe also try getting off milk products. He could have lactose issues. (milk, ice cream, cheese, yogurt) Try each one for a week. It takes two to three days for these things to circulate out of your system and for him to see any relief. ;-)
I had similar problems with my son. He had lots of bowl problems and constipation issues as a baby.He is now 16. They grow out of it. Most of all, get some rest. A stressed mom makes for stressed babies. Get some support lined up so you can rest.

My little man did not want to latch on at all. We tried for over a week but he just couldn't relax his neck so he was always pulling away.

First, you need to talk with a really good lactation consultant or a leader from La Leche. They need to watch you during the whole process to try and pinpoint problems. Keeping trying and pumping until then, but get an appointment ASAP. (Its perfectly normal to get more from on breast than the other.)

Second, talk to your baby doctor (or the most helpful person at their office, aka nurse.) Reflux and allergies are real possibilties. Find out if they have any suggestion.

Then sit down and decided what works best for you and your family. Remember this has to be something that you can stick to for several months, so be realistic. Every situation is differant. How much support will you have? For my family, I pumped for just over four months. This gave my little one the benefits of the breast milk without the headaches of latching. It also keep me from going into major depression. If I hadn't made enough milk that day I didn't stress over it because I was doing my best and my baby was still benefiting.

Just remember whatever you decided is okay. And don't be afaid to ask for help that why God gave us Family and Friends.

I went through the same thing with my son. It sounds like reflux and took us 3 months to figure it out and he didn't grow very much during that time. Talk to your pediatrician. My pediatrician told me to cut out all dairy and reminded me that everything I eat the baby eats. I didn't think about what that really meant. Garlic, onions, peppers, broccoli, asparagus, sushi (wasabi), all of these and soooo much more. Gassy, strong flavors filter into your breastmilk. I had to really mind what I ate, my husband is a chef and I have a very broad palate so it was very hard for me. I ate as bland as possible even forgoing table pepper. I may have gone to the extreme but my life got better and then eventually we put him on zantac.

Congratulations on your new baby and just remember others have been there and they made it through and you can too! You are not going crazy just take a deep breath and remind yourself that you WILL get through this. Talk to the pediatrician and good luck!!
Regards,

T.

Did not get to read everything, but wanted to also suggest something for the pumping. My little one was tongue tied so could not latch right away. I rented the Medela Symphony pump from Carondolet Pharmacy (I435 & State Line). It was WONDERFUL. It made the whole process go so much better. It is a more efficient pump. LO never ended up latching at all and so I pump exclusively. The Medela allowed me to get 8+ ounces in a pump (woo hoo!). I was able to pump enough to store a whole bunch in the freezer. It costs about $60 for a month or $3/day. I was sad when I had to return it. My little guy is 6 months old now and I went back and rented it again because my production went down. Within a few days, I was seeing 2 oz more per pump.

Oh, and I concur on the lactose thing. I stopped all milk and he's a much happier baby. (I can still eat cheese and he's fine, I just do it in moderation.) Also try laying him on a Boppy for a little while after he eats, it helped mine with the gas.

Hope it helps.

Hi Lunesa. Hang in there. It can really be hard for some of us....at 3 weeks I was one day at a time with breastfeeding. But I ended up nursing until almost 2 years....it does get easier. My daughter did have reflux and food allergies. You may be dealing with reflux, or maybe the baby is only getting foremilk (look up foremilk/hindmilk inbalance) which will make him spit up too. I had that problem and started nursing on just one side per feed because switching back and forth was causing trouble. Also, formula, even a tiny bit, changes the gut flora, (for a few weeks) so supplementing with that isn't as simple as the formula companies want you to believe. A lot of babies have trouble with dairy, so you could try eliminating that from your diet...but it will take up to two weeks for it to clear your system. Pumping takes a while for your body to adjust to....nobody gets much at first. PLease talk to a lactation consultant...that's what they are there for. Ask your ped about reflux (but know that some don't believe in it and will call it colic...we had to switch docs at 1 month). You're a great mommy...hang in there. C. D.

Hello L.! You've gotten some GREAT advice. I just want to say that I went through something very similiar to this with my first child...so stressed out, tired, frustrated and just overwhelmed!! Take a step back and know that YOU are DOING GREAT!!! I never totally could get the hang of my kids latching on...I always wanted to breastfeed and was just crushed that it was such a battle! You've already conquered that obstacle...trust me it's a big one!! I always made more w the right breast because I found holding my kids in that position most comfortable, so i used it the most. For myself, I ending up pumping and then giving all of my kids breastmilk in a bottle. Not the ideal situation, because its much more time consuming and cleaning the pump and bottles was a pain, but that is what I found to work for me...it was either that or quit. Find what works for YOU...get some help/support from anyone/everyone you can and just go with it. Do not beat yourself up, second guess yourself, or feel guilt of any kind...you are doing your best and your child will be just fine! Believe it or not, this too shall pass!!! Also, sometimes babies cry and spit up (then eat more) to help give your body get the cues to make them more milk. Ahhh just another joy of a mother lol!

Good luck to you and God Bless you and your family!!

L.,

You really do have a lot of good advice and support here, so I'll try to be short! ;) My advice is this...keep breastfeeding, but only if you want to. I tried TONS, and I mean tons of things. I went to lots of lactation consultants and support groups, my pediatrician, you name it, I tried it. And it just didn't work. I did end up exclusively breasfeeding by pump for a number of months and then I had no choice but to go to formula. You can't beat yourself up about anything. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU! That is the best advice I ever got and can ever give. My opinion is not a popular one and some don't understand how hard it truly can be for others, but do what works for you! Your baby will be healthy and happy as long as you are. Like I said, if you have the drive in you, keep up with breasfeeding, you'll probably get it down very soon! Hopefully you had luck with your first so it'll all come back to you! Hang in there and keep your head up!

I don't have much to add in the way of advice that other people haven't already added, but just wanted to tell you that I have been there! I didn't experience the same problems as you (my main problems were sore, cracked, and bleeding nipples that caused a lot of problems for the first 4 weeks) but I did want to tell you that this time will pass, and it will get easier. Get support--from a lactation consultant, La Leche League, other moms who have been there, etc. I know that right now this all seems overwhelming and it seems like it is lasting an eternity to you--at least, that's the way it seemed in the beginning to me when I had problems. But they eventually straightened themselves out, and within a couple of months, breastfeeding was just second nature to me. I still sometimes marvel at how my now-10-month-old daughter just latches on and goes straight to it, and I don't even have to think about it or stress about it at all. Our breastfeeding problems feel like they were so long ago, and at the time, it seemed so terrible and never-ending, but looking back on it, it was such a small amount of time in the big picture, and I'm glad I stuck with it. If you decide to stick with it, I'm sure you will feel that way someday soon!

It sounds to me like your little one may have reflux, have you checked with your doctor? My son did the same thing and he was diagnosed with reflux and once we got it figured out it made a huge difference. I know that breastfeeding is the best way to go if that is the case, but I would talk with my doctor. It sounds a lot like what my son did though so you never know, t may be worth checking into!!!

You might go back to Dr and get another formula! Baby might be allergic to the one you have! Also is the baby having hard stools if so, that might be the reason he is spitting up alot!

Mom don't beat yourself up! It is time for you to wean-both him and YOU! You have enough going on with the rest of your family and go ahead and give the baby a bottle-he will be fine and still have all the right stuff. You are not a bad Mom just a busy one and that is plenty to slow down all the process of nursing-so like I said before go to the bottle NOW! Enjoy the baby and quit worrying about the other things I promise he will be fine and so will you! Stress does so much to mess things up it is not worth all the problems it causes. Talk to your doctor and see if all else is ok and then relax! You have great kids now it is time to enjoy-they grow up very fast and DON'T MISS ANY PART OF THEM GROWING UP IF YOU CAN!

I had a similar problem with my first child. He was also a big baby and had a huge appetite. His doctor recommended getting him to hold out for 2 1/2 to 3 hours. It was hard at first, but I would just give him a binky and hold him. It did work. My supply was able to build up and it was more peaceful. Some may not agree with this, but it worked for me. He had a hard time with formula...it upset his belly. This maybe what is upsetting your son...not your breastmilk. My second child did the start nursing and then jerk away bit the first few weeks. She had a hard time learning how to suck, swallow, breathe.
It is normal for one breast to make more than the other. I have a newborn as well and am currently nursing. One breast will make 3-4 oz and the other 2. Our bodies are so weird!
Good luck with nursing...