Why Do I Get SO Mean Before My Period???

Updated on September 26, 2012
K.G. asks from Fort Lauderdale, FL
16 answers

Hi Moms,

About a week before my period starts, I get SOOOOO cranky, mean, short tempered and snotty... To my husband!!!! The older I get, (I'm 34) the WORSE it's getting....UGH! Two days before getting my period, I get SO bloated. I look like I'm 6 months pregnant.
I work out 5 x's per week, eat pretty healthy (with the exception of a week before it starts, I eat everything)
I feel like I either am getting my period, have my period or just got over my period. No break really... I get my period every 25 days, and 7 days before it, I'm a monster...Once I get my period, within 24 hours I'm nice again, lol....
Anyone else like this? Any suggestions?
PS the doctor put me on the lowest dose of zoloft to see if that would help, it doesn't really..

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answers from Detroit on

Ouch, good to know there is no hope for me. :). I swear last month my uterus was going to pop out and strangle my husband. I was scary. Poor guy. He really is a good guy. :(

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answers from Portland on

Thanks for writing this. I am a jerk as well the week before... ugh! So much anger!!

I saw 2 suggestions that are worth some research.

Good luck to us both! :)

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answers from Las Vegas on

Apart from outside stress and nutritional habits, what is and could be the cause of that anger right before your period is the fact that just before your period begins, your Estrogen levels are at their lowest..

What's this mean.. a few things.. One, Estrogen controls one's Cortisol levels. (the stress hormone) Therefore, when the Estrogen drops, it means less control over Cortisol production and therefore,it runs amuck.... In turn, it can lead to us feeling and becoming more stressed, anxious and downright cranky.

Additionally, Estrogen is also responsible for Serotonin production.... the feel good chemical in our bodies.. when we are lacking in Serotonin , we can become irritable, depressed .. etc etc.. It's a vicious cycle..... The dilemma in part is that which we do ahead of time in order to prepare ourselves..

If for example as you say, you don't eat exceptionally well before the onset of your period, then things such as processed carbs and sugar will only make matters worse because as you probably know, they cause our insulin levels to rise and in turn we end up craving more of the same.....

The other thing is before our periods, we are Progesterone dominant (especially IF having ovulated) Don't forget, regardless IF a woman wants to get pregnant or not, our bodies are designed to prepare for pregnancy each month..... well, when we do ovulate let's say, there is a rush of Progesterone into our systems.. The problem is.... Progesterone can make us more insulin resistant......... (hence the cravings) not to mention, bloated.. why??? because during the phase (luteal) right before your period, the Progesterone slows down the moving along of foods in one's intestines. it does this so that IF a woman should want or is pregnant , her body can absorb more nutrients... hence, you have that bloating feeling because in fact, UNLESS you are eating LOTS of fiber to help move things along, you are more bloated.. .it's a woman's body trying to grow and preserve a pregnancy...

bottomline, here's what I do to help combat some the anger symptoms.. one, take Krill (a good source of Omega) for me, it just helps with my overall mood.. two, water.... drink lots to help those intestines move along the food AND help to eliminate some of the junk we eat.. Three.. try NOT to have the junk around the house, for me.. when I do. I am just setting myself up to fail.. Four, STOP.. take a deep breath....... (even try meditating) for a moment BEFORE you speak :) and If you can... try and catch some extra ZZZssss...

Lastly, before I would continue Zoloft.. have them check your hormones levels.. a woman even in her early 30s can have some type of imbalance. I just hate the way doctors prescribe pills before they may have even checked hormones. they often do this especially if a woman is considered too young for perimenopause.... not to say you are there yet... but hey... you never know..

best of luck to you

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Salt Lake City on

I am the same way.My period is every 24 days so, yeah, it pretty much feels just as you describe, like my life revolves around my cycle. I only started getting PMS in the last year though. It usually will be a few days of anger and snappiness at everyone before I catch on and realize, "Oh, it is possible that the problem is me and not everyone else!" Then I will actually start to feel the hormones building each day and I will get really emotional and want to cry several times a day, anxiety, inability to focus on tasks, etc. I actually have been meaning to see a doctor to see if there is anything that can even me out. It does help a little to track my cycle- I will put a frowny face on the calendar if I feel especially crappy and emotional and that way if I feel really down I can look back at the past month's calendar and decide "hmmm, is this PMS?" At least then I know why I am feeling so down and that it will pass.
I also recently bought the book "17 day diet" and it has a section on PMS and eating that is interesting.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Appleton on

Quite a few years ago I had an English professor who was a monster. He hated women and said in class that PMS isn't real and women were just whiny little bitches. Sooooooo.....
I did a term paper on PMS, proving that PMS is real. One of the things I learned is SALT intake is the biggest factor in PMS. Salt caused water retention and in some severe cases individual brain cells become water logged and this is what causes the extremes in behavior. It's not the salt you sprinkle on your foods but the amount of sodium in processed foods. If you often consume jarred or canned spaghetti sauce or soups or frozen dinners you are consuming way to much salt. Try going salt free. Do the bulk of your grocery shopping in the outside aisles in your local store. The outside aisles are the fresh produce, dairy, meat, and bakery. Make as many meals from scratch as possible. It's okay to add salt, but celery seed is a good alternative.
The excess salt in your diet is causing the bloating and cold be a HUGE factor in your moods.

Give it a try and good luck.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Menopause cured it for me!!! I always dreaded that but it was wonderful to be rid of PMS. I did see a doctor who gave me natural progesterone but it helped only some. They were made up by the pharmacist. Otherwise wait for menopause. :-)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

You have PMS. There are medical and natural ways to treat it. There is no need to suffer.

I would try natural ways first which would include some supplementation including GLA, which will help balance your hormones. If that does not work a doctor can put you on an antidepressant.

Please do something! You will be amazed at how you can get your life back. You can be a nice Mom and wife again! EVERY DAY!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

see I am opposite. I am a joy to be around, 2 days before, and 3 days after my cycle. Its every other day of my life I am a total Crab Monster. I guess I need some more medications. LOL.... I dont think Zoloft is the answer, and I know it has way more side effects that out weigh just being crabby. I know there are some very good natural supplements that help level moods for PMS. It doesnt work for me cause thats not my issue, but it has helped others. One of my close friends do natural things, like Wild Yams and Black Cohosh. Another increases her activities and does work outs. The serotonin in your brain increases getting rid of the emotional blues.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Albuquerque on

FYI, Zoloft doesn't work because it's a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). It works by increasing the amounts of serotonin, a natural substance in the brain that helps maintain mental balance. You don't have a seratonin problem, you have hormonal swings. If you focus on regulating the hormones you'll have more luck than trying to boost your seratonin.

Once I cut out all dairy, most of my PMS symptoms went away. I didn't get bloated, but I'd be irritable the week before and have crazy hot flashes at night. You could give that a try... there are quite a few ways to combat PMS and it's hormonal swings, it's just trying them all and seeing what works.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

I love my husband. I even like him. The week before my period I HATE him and want to run him over with my van. And he acts like a total jerk the week before my period as well.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

try bioflavnoids. they worked wonders for me.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Austin on

I'm dreaming of menopause.....seriously I can't wait. Bring it on.

I hate AF. I get the same way and I'm so tired of it ( as is everyone else I'm sure ) HAHA

I absolutely hate being on my period. The older I get the more my anger grows with it. Oh and the headaches that accompanies it too, lovely......(sighhhh ). :(

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

I'm the same way. So is my daughter. Sometimes she and I overlap cycles. My husband, son and other daughter hide in a cave when that happens. God help us when my youngest daughter starts her period. My poor husband and son...

An advance warning and apology to the affected family members usually works for us.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boca Raton on

someone mentioned salt and processed foods. That's a good start. I suggest the same BUT no sugar, none, that doesn't mean substitute with that artificial stuff which causes cancer..... Also, get a tincture (not pills) of vitex or chasteberry. Try eating whole grains instead of whole wheat bread. Bread is junk and clogs up your system. Fresh is healthier. Your body is telling you something isn't right.



answers from Tampa on

I can totally relate!! First of all I would be very careful on the Zoloft. The side effects can be permanent! My mom took Zoloft and now has myclonic jerks which wake her up all night and she can't get a full nights sleep!! Second, all I take is Black Cohosh once a day and it totally takes care of my anger issues that come out of no where and make me SO mean to my husband and children! There are many different brands out there, but I personally buy Nature's Way and I make sure it is standarized (this means there is exactly how much they say in each capsule!) This is just an herb, will not hurt you, no side effects! I have been taken it for a couple of years. Every time I get lazy and stop, I start with the anger again! So now even my kids help me to remember! This was recommended by my doctor and my mom and many others have found help with this. I hope it can help you too. Good Luck!


answers from Redding on

you dont say how old you are, but I was like that in my late 30's - early 40's.. it was trippy for sure. You dont even KNOW yourself BUT everyone in the house KNOWS, lol!
You CAN control it if you really want to, but the best thing to do is stay away from everyone. It's a good time to READ a book. I used to read a lot during the PMS days. The family was happy when Mom just curled up on the couch and read.
This is temporary, it's just a weird phase in the hormone distribution, a year or two from now you'll be completely different and more than likely over it.

Next question: Help! Is It Hormones????