Why Are Studies So Low on Parental Culpability? Warning. Long.

Updated on February 28, 2013
A.J. asks from Norristown, PA
17 answers

I have been reading a few articles regarding poor school performance in males and record low male college admittance and how this is a dangerous trend for society since women and foreign people are poised to take over our male professions.... The gist of the theory behind the phenomenon in the articles I saw is that school has become too hard for males, too based on school room performance and behavior, not sensitive to how difficut it is to sit still all day for boys..taking away recess is destructive to them and now boys have worse grades than girls....etc. Therefore, the low grades unfairly doled in lower grades affect their confidence, plague them into high school and beyond, and they can't get into college... In other words, ANOTHER school faux pas. And I'm not saying there's NO truth to it....

I KNOW schools have dropped drastically in curriculum denstiy over the past 30 years, focus too much on tests etc-I get it. That's why I homeschool (but don't plan to forever). We live in a bad distirct. My first grader is writing, spelling, reading, writing in print and cursive and knows what nouns, verbs, pronouns are etc just from a little work in each topic each day. She grasps basic ancient world history and PA state history, is on track in a goood math program etc, studies human body systems, has lots of time to play and practic instruments and do Tae Kwon Do etc..she reads in bed for hours for fun. Her best friend in our local first grade knows no history, struggles with "plus ones", hasn't done any science, prints very poorly and barely reads my son's kindergarten books and she's an extremely bright child. She's in classes that are way too easy that are simply not working on the things she can't do. So she gets bored and gets "sticks taken away" like lots of other kids in her class. There is no gifted program (which would be "normal" in the past) until high school here. Fine, lots of schools suck. I admit it.

BUT, I guess what I'm trying to say is, school isn't longer, harder, or stricter than it ever was for boys is it? When I was in school (70s), we all got kept in from recess, kept for detention, yelled at by teachers, sent to the principlal for the paddle, whatever. And then we got in worse trouble at home than at school if we were disruptive. I personally had two parents who worked full time. We often had to get ourselves to school and come home to an empty house, do our homework unprompted, etc. This was not uncommon among our friends. But boys still grew to dominate the workforce. So maybe if school just RECENTLY became about sitting still and behaving, and just recently started punishing boys too much, I might consider the argument that the change has hindered boys. But that's not the case as far as I can tell.

in these studies about the downfall of schools, rarely do they cite parenting issues. MAYBE they'll say "In areas of extreme poverty parents aren't supporting their kids eductaion" type things, but not: "All parents need to get their kids behaviorally on track for kindergarten so they don't hold up the entire overpopulated classes from learning throughout the early grades. Our kids are performing worse and worse globally with every passing year." I mean, are they just afraid to offend readers and lose sales? I have several friends in trauma over how much of their kid's school time is spent waiting for kids to behave so the teacher can teach, bullying, inability to control kids, blah blah, so doesn't that have SOME possible effect to the larger problem?

On a separate note, when I asked my husband "Guess what new studies are citing as the cause of poor male college enrollment, low grades and poor school performance?" Before I could say, "school is supposedly too hard now" He busted out, "Video Games?" EUREKA WATSON! I hadn't even considered that, but one element all the kids I know (BOYS) have in common is that they have gadgets in their hands for hours per day and probably don't feel like sitting and writing on boring old paper and reading boring old books-who knows what kind of effect that has on concentration over time-it's a new thing. I grew up where only a few kids had Ataris at home they could play A LITTLE when all homework and stuff was done. Not the constant screen time so many school age boys are into now. So I have no idea if video games really HAVE any effect, but how come these articles never take any parent-based elements into consideration?

I guess I was set off by the "school is too long and tedious and strict now" theory, since it's so much less strict than ever on behavior, and not any longer or harder than it's ever been. Experts would argue it's much easier than it was in the 50's when we had the world's best public schools and outscored everyone else. I mean if the Chinese and Indians are getting into all the best schools and taking our jobs, is it because their schools are so much shorter, looser and child-centered with more recess time than ours? No.

Am I just not seeing the articles that suggest this could possibly something we all have some accountability for AKA the ability to improve rather than just throwing up hands and saying "Oh the schools are too hard and unfair now for our boys.." or worse yet: pushing to make American schools even less demanding? Thoughts? Alternative theories?

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So What Happened?

Good points, Dana, we also had plenty of art etc, but I don't think kids are expected to sit perfectly still all day now either are they? My daughter's friends all have gym and move around and activities too, I mean has school become way more strict and sedentary after all? Maybe this data is regional or something, or the maybe the articles are right if kids have to sit still longer than they used to have to. And I wasn't saying the past school discipline was nice, I'm just saying it didn't keep boys from succeeding nationally, and it was harsher than what is being called too harsh now.

True Sherri, they need a different way to discipline disruptive kids effectively than removing all exercise from a child's day.

Thea, I did miss point that female students were being moved ahead more by female majority of teachers. Disturbing.

Heidi, I didn't write the line or think of the concept, I was quoting articles saying that in professions traditionally replete with American males, they will be replaced because they're no longer getting into college.

Ina and Momwithcamera, I agree on all counts for low income kids-that's why it's annoying to only see parental culpability addressed as "Poor people have low achieving kids" in these things when obviously it's much broader.

Hazel, great post!

JB, lots of good points and I will read that book. I'm especially worried by the "all female" teaching force concept as explained in some of these answers. But the difficulty for me personally in understanding, is that in my particular region, school is NOT AT ALL difficult or advanced or first-grade-like in kindergarten. If it was, my kids would be going! If you look at any basic Core Knowledge Book at early grade levels, the school is not covering HALF of the basics that used to be expected. They are treating kindergarten like a gentle graduation form pre-school, and first grade like kindergarten review. I can't tell you how much the kindergartners and first graders aren't covering here. When I interviewed the teacher to see what would be covered, and brought some researched outlines of kindergarten/1st grade work according to those standards, she looked at me like I had two heads and said they would begin with review of basic kindergarten skills for first graders who were behind. I was shocked and could not send my child to spend all day every day NOT learning much. The difficult schools are elsewhere than where I live. I have two friends who are retired and almost retired high school teachers who are outraged at how much less their students know of every topic-and the cuts keep coming to material- than they did 10 years ago at that age. And they say it's true for both sexes. Also, in my personal school background, most of my teachers were female, and they were tough on everyone (including me). I don't remember being cherished and individually valued and all that-just fitting into the class and getting the work done. So this news of young female teachers mistreating boys is new and disturbing to me.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I went to school in the 70s too. We had gym 5 days a week, recess every day (NEVER taken away) and a 6 hour school day (my son's is 6 hours 40 minutes). We had more time in music and art as well. We were not expected to sit still in the early grades for the entire day. Our teachers got us up and moving, played musical chairs and understood that kids were kids, not little automatons. We were NOT expected to read in kindergarten (many of us did but so what). We were not punished and our parents would have immediately notified the local paper, NY Times and the ACLU had a teacher ever presumed to raise a hand or paddle to us. Our parents advocated for us kids. That was their job. That is my job today. Since being able to sit all day is NOT a healthy life skill (and also one that comes with maturity anyway), why should we penalize children who don't sit still all the time? Kids would all be healthier (and learn more) if they got enough exercise and less sitting.

So looking at my son's school - it is longer and less exciting than school was in my elementary school anyway.

ETA: I went to an excellent public school. My son goes to an extremely high rated public school. He has Spanish in first grade. We did not start foreign language until 7th grade. He is learning multiplication in first grade. We did not learn that until 3rd grade. There is much more of an emphasis on spelling in his classroom than we ever had. We NEVER homework in first grade (which is seriously a horrible idea supported by plenty of research). He has homework at least 3 nights a week. And this is less than they used to. Fortunately our district is moving away from homework. Kindergartners in many districts have daily homework. I would disagree that school is 'easier' than it was. I would say rather that it is more test centered and way less child centered.

@Thea - you are absolutely right but how to address? Previously girls were penalized because they were not aggressively pushing to answer questions and demonstrate 'appropriate' behaviors showing intelligence. They would answer when called on and boys were rewarded. That is why girls in single sex schools did so much better in the past. Now the pendulum seems to have swung the other way and passive, quiet children are assumed to be the 'smart' ones.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I just wanted to point out that back in the 70's it was OK to have our recess taken away, or stay in for detention, because we were also walking to and from school and playing outside until bedtime. Seriously, recess today is the only time some kids get to go outside and get any exercise.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

As you mentioned briefly at the start of your post, studies sight the over-reflection of behavioral performance in perceived academic performance in elementary grades. What you may have missed in the articles (or maybe you saw it and just didn't agree) is that teachers often equate good behavior with good academic performance. As with many things, perception is reality. Young girls are more likely to display the classroom behaviors their teachers perceive as "smart" or "high achieving" and so are more likely to receive high markers on subjective tasks and ALSO more likely to be recommended for accelerated/enriched programs and awards. Boys, on the other hand, are more likely to display behaviors their (female) teachers believe are NOT studious and so are less likely to be given those early opportunities.

It isn't that the academics now are harder, but our school system is certainly "unfair" (there is LOTs of research about this... not just for boys, but for students of color as well... basically the less like the teacher a student is, the less likely they are to be perceived as a good student) It isn't an issue of making school less demanding... it's an issue of putting the FOCUS on actual academic achievement and less on teacher perception at the early grades.

Fifty years ago, teaching was not dominated by young, white, women the way it is now. Boys were much more likely to have male teachers even in the early grades (as were girls, which might explain why girls used to lag behind boys while boys excelled).

Anyway, just my understanding of the articles I've read on this topic.

T.

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X.X.

answers from Denver on

Why do they not look more at the parental role in a child's success? Probably because those of us who care already know. And no amount of research can force an uninvolved parent to step up. So, perhaps more time and money is being spent figuring out ways that society can compensate for bad parenting. Just like we can't force people to not have children, we can't force them to step up and parent properly. Lord knows I wish we could!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

It really is a waste of time to look at a multifaceted problem and ask for a simple fix.

Yes, schools are a factor. Not so much that it is too hard nowadays. but rather that it is terribly equipped to handle the complex social and academic needs of today's kids. As much as we want to imagine that we live in this nice homogenous society where everyone has a fair shot... That is just not reality and kids nowadays come to class needing more than just someone teaching them how to read and write.
It is easy to say "well in the 70's we got recess taken away all the time", i grew up in the 70's too and you know what, we played outside in the neighborhood all afternoon after school. How many kids play outside in the streets and alleys everyday today? Not my child. Nowadays recess may be the only time many kids can engage in active play.

And parents are definitely an issue too. But when we see statistics that show us how the poorest kids have the worst outcomes it is easy to blame "bad" or "lazy" parenting. Well most low income families I know love their kids just as much as the rich families. They are not lazy or uninterested in their kids education. But they do work 2 or more minimum wage jobs just to keep a roof over their head and they cannot afford high quality childcare that will prepare their kids for school or after care that helps their kids succeed. Time is the most precious asset that many families, even middle class families, are no longer able to afford.

This country has widespread issues mostly resulting from letting poverty get so out of hand. And unchecked poverty affects everyone, even people who are not poor. The downward spiral of the educational system is but one symptom of this and we can point the finger to every single part of it, as long as we are just trying to slap a bandaid on it here and there the infection will continue to fester.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I am an 80s/90s kid. We only had one recess a day and I cried when they took it away. That said, I read studies and know that a study seeks to prove one point, whatever the researcher is trying to get published. that said, I agree with Ina - you cannot point to one thing in a complex situation and say "that, there, that is it" Personally, I have found that these studies and generalities prove to be false when you get in the classroom, watch the teacher, watch the kids, watch the administration. I recently had the experience of visiting a number of local ISD schools and was so impressed by the culture of learning and support of knowledge and not teaching to the test, not making our kids little robots and not getting on to them for fidgeting:)
I have two boys. I do not think school is too demanding, I wish it was more stringent in the classroom. We have been blessed with smart teachers who recognized (boy or girl) each child is an individual and how to work with that individual to help them learn and follow the classroom guidelines and rules.
So there are my thoughts on the subject.
"There are lies, damn lies and statistics" - Mark Twain :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Sigh. I wrote a really long answer that didn't post. If you are really interested in this, read the book "The Trouble with Boys." It will explain much more than I can write here. My short answer is that the problem is very complex and real. Girls outperform boys in reading and language arts across every age and demographic group - affluent, poor, white, minority, urban, suburban. In many areas, girls now outperform boys in math and science as well and in most groups they are at least on par. Reading and language arts skills really drive educational success more than anything else so a gap there translates into a gap in education in general. The gap has been there for over 50 years but it widening with the passage of time.

Some thoughts:

1) Schools have changed TREMENDOUSLY in the past few decades. Any Kindergarten teacher can tell you that Kindergarten is the new 1st grade and that's not good for all students, especially those who need a little more time to mature into being able to sit and absorb the kind of academic work that used to be expected of 1st and 2nd graders. What would be interesting, I think, would be to makes grades K-2 more fluid. Give students up to three years to master the basics of reading, writing, mathematical operations, etc. and progress through small groups on their own timelines. A lot of boys (or active, fidgety girls) just need more time to mature and then can master skills very quickly. Think about it - for those who work outside the home, not everyone you were hired with moved at the same pace or had the same interests, right? Why do we expect the same of our children?

2) Elementary education is overwhelmingly dominated by female teachers. Where are the men? How can we encourage more men to come back to teaching at this level so that boys have male role models in school besides the custodial staff and PE teacher? How can we find female teachers who don’t just tolerate teaching boys but really value what they bring to the classroom? It’s not OK to treat girls like they’re little dolls with no capacity for learning, why is it OK to see every “boy” trait as a negative. I know teachers who really have no patience for typical, age-appropriate, “boy” behavior. I know high school boys who have vivid memories of being treated harshly or being humiliated in K or 1st grade by some of these teachers. Being merely tolerated instead of valued at such a young age really stays with a child and boys are much more likely than girls to be treated that way here. We wouldn’t accept this for our daughters and should expect the same for our sons.

3) Boys are overwhelmingly more likely than girls to receive special education and/or be dx'd with ADHD and autism spectrum disorders? If the diagnoses are real, what is going on with our boys' brains and bodies? If we think the numbers are inflated, are we pathologizing normal behavior because it's easier to medicate a child or send him out of the classroom than deal with him? I say this as a parent of an ADHD boy who is on an IEP. I believe his problems are real but wonder why these affect so many more boys than girls.

4) The integration model of special education is not done well everywhere, leaving many teachers without the resources to effectively manage their classrooms. I say this as someone who believes that integration is a fundamentally sound idea but we can't ignore that the execution and funding of this is sometimes woefully inadequate.

5) Single-gender public education is something that should be an option in more places. Single-gender education isn’t for everyone, but there are clear benefits to this that inspire excellence for both genders when they are grouped together. I went to a private girls’ school for high school and wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. Boys who went to our “brother” school had a similarly enriching experience where participation and excellence in all areas were the expectation and the norm. I would love for my sons to be taught by people who actually like educating boys enough to deliberately seek out an opportunity to educate only boys.

Ironically, despite the gender gap in education all the way through college, this gap still hasn’t made its way into the workplace. Our very educated daughters may outnumber their male peers in the workforce in the coming decades but will likely still make less than them, which does not bode well for household incomes.

There’s a lot to the problem and the solution. Again if you are really interested in this, I would encourage you to read “The Trouble with Boys.”

ETA: This blog entry has some good information: http://www.childup.com/blog/The-Trouble-with-Boys-What-Pa...

One of the keys to success in education is getting kids to engage in reading by grade 3 (first they "learn to read" and then from 4th grade on, "read to learn") and numerous studies have shown that younger boys simply aren't interested in a lot of the reading materials in classroom and school libraries. My oldest son would only check out magazines or those "Discovery Kids" kinds of books about sharks, machinery, tornadoes, etc. The kind with lots of pictures and small chunks of text. My middle son, an early reader, did no voluntary reading at all in second grade. He would literally sit with his assigned book NOT READING for 25 minutes a night. This year, he's been into Diary of Wimpy Kid and the Children's Illustrated Classics (Moby Dick, Huck Finn, Black Beauty, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea) series. Thankfully, the reading specialist in the elementary school read some studies on this a few years ago and had this brilliant idea that hey! Maybe we should put some books in the library that will appeal to boys too! So the PTA has funded several purchases of books over the past year to build a more diverse library and what we're hearing is that the response is good and more boys are checking things out of the library and are actually reading them and recommending them to their friends. Pretty simple step for what could be a pretty significant change in habits. Another important change is getting fathers involved in bedtime stories and homework, and having dads (or other male role models in the community such as coaches, fire fighters, police officers) participate in literacy activities at school to get the message through to boys that yes, guys read and write too, this isn't just something for your mom and your teacher and your sisters to enjoy.

ETA: One more interesting article http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2006/01/29/the-trou...

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hmm, I don't know. Back in the 70's we were punished ALL THE TIME for fidgeting and talking in class.
And I was kind of like a boy, most likely an un-diagnosed ADD/ADHD kid.
Still, I managed to behave and get good grades, because I actually cared about that sort of thing.
My youngest is "officially" ADHD and I still expect her to fall in line.
I'm not mean about it, but it's like, come ON we ALL need to tow the line, you know? Sometimes sh*t is boring but we still have to deal with it.
And the school recognizes her disability, and works with her, as do I.
But still, employers only care about a job well done, not much else, so we need to prepare our kids for that, you know?

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

Too many parents have stopped being parents. So many have problems in their personal lives that they don't have the energy or time to be parents to their kids. Too many take the easy way out instead of disciplining their kids or demanding better behavior and study habits and providing healthy meals. I have heard it all from the kids... I wanted to bring some of the kids home so they could have a loving home life. Many of these kids are up all night texting their friends. I don't even want to get into what photos are being requested and given...

I quit high school classroom teaching (math) because I was doing more "counseling" than teaching and I wasn't qualified. I had to earn the respect of students by caring for them and getting involved in their lives in order to maintain discipline in my classroom. I did not tolerate disrespectful behavior. I disciplined with sternness but I would pull them out of the classroom and asked first if they were having a bad day. (You would not believe what these kids were going through.) But I was still "boring" because I did not have the flashy, high energy, multi-sensory, audio-visual stimulus the kids were used to with all the technology they have now (especially video games). No wonder they are bored in school. Thank God they are putting textbooks on iPads as it is making learning easier for some kids.

Now I tutor kids that have involved parents and are excelling in school. Most of them are A and B students who need to fill in the gaps of material they might have missed in class. None of them have emotional problems. None of them get bored with our sessions. They are high achievers who don't spend all their time playing video games. They are the most polite and grateful kids you could ever meet. They never complain about how boring school is.

The biggest difference seems to be how involved their parents and what expectations are put on their kids.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

you make really good points.
i'm a pretty vocal not-fan of our public school system, but like most things, there's not one single glaring root cause. parenting trends, kids not being given responsibility or having expectations, video games and social media all play large parts.
my perspective is that it's not the demands that schools make that are the problem, it's the illogic. i'm not a fan of social promotion, and a very big fan of old-fashioned classical curricula. but schools do bear responsibility, not just for lowering standards, but for sploodging out all over the place in what they want to do. schools are not parents and should push back when parents start demanding that schools take over accountability for anything other than academics. but even more important, schools should look hard at the completely archaic age-sequestered test-heavy 45-minute-chunks model that barely sufficed for the industrial revolution, and modernize.
i'm surprised that between the helpless hapless public school system, and a generation of parents honestly believe that 'mama bears' screeching at anyone who suggests their gremlins are substandard, that we're doing as well as we are the world stage.
khairete
S.

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H.A.

answers from Burlington on

Sorry -- just can't get past your line "our male professions." Hoping you don't mean what I think you mean.

ETA: A., thanks for explaining! As a female who wasn't allowed to play little league baseball and was discouraged from a scientific field, I'm sensitive to the way it was phrased.

And I agree this is an issue in our schooling, no matter what professions (traditionally male or not) boys want to go into.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Interesting point Thea!

Off to another point in A.'s original post. Poverty stricken areas.

Why are the grades lower in poverty stricken area? Both my husband and I work more than full time and we spend every minute during the week doing homework and completing projects. We don't have the time, but we make the time to work with her. Because our daughter ice skates during the week, I also spend Saturday's with her to make sure she is reading properly or working on math speed games and then Sunday night I check to see if the next weeks homework is posted so I will be prepared for that too. Doesn't anyone in poverty stricken areas have extra time to study with their children? Sometimes I learn a little something, maybe they will too.

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S.D.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Check out the book The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America by Charlotte Thomson Iserbyt.
It's a rather intersting read somewhat pertaining to your questions. :-)

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K.L.

answers from Erie on

Thanks for a discussion provoking question... Here are my first reactions...
1. Personal accountability is out the window in our society, so parenting is only one the areas where it's too easy to blame everyone else.
2. School is different now (depending on your view, makes it easier or harder to sit through it). More stuff thrown at kids at a high level but no depth (one month of first grade math included telling time, couting coins, shapes, patterns and more!) and much more homework.
3. Kids spend much more time in structured activities (sports and music lessons) where they are expected to learn and follow rules without getting time to create their own rules and make their own choices.
4. Society no longer treats girls as inferior, so teachers call on them more now than they used to do (I've seen multiple studies with data behind this one).
5. Kids don't walk to school as much as they did, at least not in our area. I get strange looks (and a few comments) from other parents because we hoof it on cold days, snowy days, even days when it's sprinkling.
6. Education is viewed as "job training" rather than a way to stimulate thinking and lifelong learning. This is true all the way to college. I hate the "you won't get a job in that major" view of what should be a life-expanding four years.
I could go on and on, but my most important point is that I read every article with a critical eye. Unless every source is cited (OMG, like why do I have to do that to be a journalist!?!) and every research method is valid, I treat it as someone's opinion. We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I try my best to be open to others, but just because it's published doesn't make it so. I can only hope that I instill the same beliefs in my children (yes, both genders are tremendously important to me and ANY child should be able to grow up to be whatever (s)he wants to be).

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I think this is one of those 'perfect storm' situations where there are a myriad of issues underlying one single result.

Looking at it from my (42 year old) perspective, and this might be a little oversimplified, but here goes:

1. Mainstreaming for kids with behavioral issues. Yep, big one here. When I was teaching preschool, part of my introduction to parents was explaining my philosophy: it was my job to 'ground' the children's experience of being in the preschool setting so that the kids could have room, emotionally, to learn. Many of us know that kids whose needs aren't met, *including a sense of security*, have a harder time learning. It used to be that children with a propensity to act out violently were in a separate group or even a separate school, with instructors who were trained to deal with aggression. Fast forward to the present: last year, one teacher friend of mine was happy because during the last rounds of teacher union bargaining, they "finally got a budget for defensive gear". This woman was a teacher of fifth grad students and told me she'd had kids completely trash out the classroom in rages, destroy computers and other valuable equipment. She was happy she could actually have some gear to protect her own body if need be while she was clearing the other kids out of the room.

Inclusion of kids with behavioral challenges should be a graduated affair, with kids meeting certain performance pars before being integrated into the mainstream classroom. Instead, the inclusion comes on the backs of the kids whose learning suffers. How easy is it to concentrate on your homework when the student next to you might just chuck a chair at your head because they act out and are still allowed in class. One thing to consider....

2. Screen time in general. Your husband had it right, A.. I'll argue that it's not just video games, but that it's 'screen time' in general. I'll be honest-- I know my butt got a bit bigger after we bought a laptop and made it so that I didn't have to sit down in the basement office to do what I'm doing now. Volunteering at the school library-- many kids take a class (English, media literacy, etc) in there, and I've seen them do a lot of 'frittering away' time on their own (this is often boys working alone-- the girls tend to work in groups and chat about what they do/find online). Video games do a great disservice in giving people a false sense of proficiency about something which is more or less a half-assed non-skill (Guitar Hero, for example--which teaches us that you can press a few buttons and make the appropriate noises-- what happened to getting some friends together and making horrible sounds in the garage, being *with* each other and actually having to work at mastering an instrument?).... So, yes, there's a lot of time when boys who are home alone-- who should be doing their homework-- are online with games and other pursuits...which leads me to~

3. How we set our children up to be passive receptors instead of thinkers. Think about it, even at age 0 we are training our kids to be entertained. Baby kicks high enough at a mobile and it lights up and plays a tune. Baby learns to press buttons to make things happen. Sorry, but this is NOT actual learning-- this is training kids to do what monkeys in labs do. Instead of letting our babies and toddlers explore their worlds on their own, in their own time, at their own stages of development, we jump in and try to make things just right. We can't even stand to watch them fuss and be frustrated because they can't sit up-- instead of letting them be, letting them develop the muscles in their body to do this, we squish them into a baby seat. We put on videos for them, in the hopes they will be smarter. I'm probably going to offend someone, but here goes: parents these days are so damn stubborn about picking up a book to *learn how babies and young children learn*. It's not with toys that are flashing and singing and entertaining, it's with simple, real objects which allow the baby to touch, taste, interact with and manipulate-- three dimensional objects. Not videos. Not noise toys. Not the screens I see parents handing to ever-younger children to 'keep them busy' while mom and dad do what needs to be done. We even entertain instead of providing guidance and discipline, and we are doing it younger and younger, with a lack of knowledge of our own on how children develop. (Grrrr.... this one frustrates me to NO end!)

If we don't allow our kids to be bored, to make their own entertainment--which, left to their own devices, they are incredibly good at---think about it-- these are the BABY STEPS of a child thinking and analyzing for themselves, for their own intrinsic interests. If we don't honor that, how do we expect them to start paying attention and learning and critically thinking about the stuff *we* think is important?

4. Learning style is left out. Honestly, I think some kids would learn the rote information we teach (multiplication tables, for example) running around the track like soldier, doing a cadence of call-and-response information led by a teacher and sung back by the students. Kinesthetic learners need a way to be accommodated. My dad's side of the family is rife with bright learners who NEED to move to learn. One sister did all of her college studying on an exercise bike so 'the information would actually get to my brain'. I have a homeschooled nephew who could not learn to read sitting still, but did well when he had something to rock back and forth on. This is a very real need which wise teachers do address, and will seek out therapeutic tools for these kids which work in the classroom (milking stools, rocking seat pads). But how many don't? I learned that with younger kids, some do better at group story times if they had a small something-to-do with their hands instead of being forced to sit and pay quiet attention. This is such a struggle for so many kids which is not being adequately addressed.

I have more ideas, but this will do for now... have to get Kiddo ready for school! (and it's important for me that he gets to school on time, so off I go).... really interesting question A.. I'll enjoy looking at the responses later.

Oh, one last thing; part of the job I do in the library is to put 'level' stickers on books, so that kids can find material at their reading level and be successful. The last librarian actually put the *wrong* color stickers on the books so kids wouldn't 'know' where they truly were, so they 'wouldnt' feel bad' about being an early reader. What a nightmare. I am correcting this with the correct labeling, but this is what I come away with-- what's so appalling about having an accurate assessment of one's abilities and addressing things honestly when a child needs improvement in an area? The 'feelgood' thing keeps our kids dumbed down, much like your friend's daughter's school; by not making things challenging, by just accepting that she can 'do enough' instead of working WITH her to help her master those harder concepts, she's going to feel better, not worse. Kids do feel bad when they aren't 'the best' at something-- I get it-- however, not addressing this will only make it harder when she gets older and more of those concepts appear in the presented material. By not addressing areas of need early on, they do tend to snowball.

As to parent culpability-- I think there are so many variables in that realm that it would be difficult to quantify or even begin analyses of that problem. But books like The Self-Esteem Trap and Nurtureshock are a start.

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

Schools aren't too hard now. On the contrary, their expectations are so low that it is leading to unmotivated, underachieving students.

When our boys were in public schools, they were not expected to finish their work. Why? I wanted to know. What point is there in them going if they aren't even expected to do the work? The response I got from more than one teacher, "Because I know they can do the work." They frequently brought home unfinished, even untouched work, yet they always had high marks on their report cards and were NEVER cited for incomplete work. This did not happen when I was in school. If you didn't finish the work, you got a zero, which affected your grade. We did our work, even when it was super easy.

When my oldest was in third grade, he was put into an "advanced" math group which met separately from the rest of his class. The whole point of this group was to allow kids who were working at a faster pace to be able to work at their own pace. Two weeks into the program, the teacher informed my son that he couldn't go any further because "We don't want you to get too far ahead in math."

From the time my oldest entered kindergarten all the way through 3rd grade, parents were told: don't correct spelling mistakes, don't correct grammar mistakes. Don't even point them out. We were told, "The kids will learn how to spot these errors when they get older." I kept waiting for this moment of improvement to come or at least for the teachers to gradually introduce proper spelling and grammar rules. Didn't happen. (For the record, I still made them correct things.)

Computer games were being used to substitute teaching time. At both schools my children attended, the kids were expected to spend an hour a day on the computer "learning" from a website called Poptropica. The first time the kids logged onto this at home, I was taken aback. It does have educational elements to it, but even educational games should not be a substitute for instruction time. And they were spending a lot of time on it at school.

We pulled them out of public school after my oldest finished 3rd grade and my second finished 1st grade. They are expected to do the following: math, grammar, spelling, Latin, history (versus social studies) coupled with geography, science, and memorization work. Not only do they finish their work but their behavior has improved dramatically (the number one comment I've gotten from EVERYONE since we started home schooling is how much they've improved behavior-wise, and let me say up front, I didn't change how I was disciplining them). Computer time is limited and is not used in the place of instruction. Incidentally, they also get A LOT more time to be physically active.

Do you want to know the hardest part of teaching them myself? Undoing the laziness instilled by their years in school. The only reason they have ever given for missing "real" school was that at school no one made them work, and I do. Not only are they expected to finish the work I give them, but they are expected to do it neatly and correctly. They rise to the challenge.

Our experience may not be everyone's experience, and our solution isn't the right one for everyone. But I'd venture the guess that if schools used an approach that not only demanded more of kids academically but also gave them more responsibility/accountability for their work, you'd see a huge improvement across the board. I read an article about a month ago talking about schools where the teachers were filming lessons, posting them online, and allowing the students to watch at their own pace. Classroom time was saved for discussion of those principles and hands-on related activities. The schools that were using this approach were seeing a tremendous jump in graduation rates and test scores. They believed it was because the kids were taking charge of their own schooling more instead of being passive recipients of information. From my observations and experience, this is key.

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B.R.

answers from York on

I'm really enjoying this discussion. I totally agree that the shortage of male teachers in the elementary grades is a problem; we need good male role models in our schools right from the start. There are probably as many factors influencing today's gender gap as there are boys taking these tests, but if we are looking for something our schools are doing differently, or something that we could change academically that might benefit boys, I have a few ideas. Here are three areas where I think we are missing an opportunity to keep boys engaged or are putting them at a slight disadvantage curriculum-wise.

1. There has been a shift in emphasis from individual work and competition towards collaboration and group work. You'll see students sitting at tables instead of desks, working with partners or groups to complete in-class projects. Groups might work together just for one day, or every day for a month to accomplish a goal. One reading group at the middle school level might have a month to read a novel and create a project to present to the class. How much they read per day or week is up to them, and they decide amongst themselves who handles certain aspects of the project. Because of the internet, kids can even collaborate on projects at home with ease (and are expected to do so at the high school level in our district).

In many ways this is great, because workplace goals often get accomplished in teams. Plus, when we were all so concerned about girls' achievement, working collaboratively in subjects like math and science was one of those buzzed about ideas to help get girls more invested in those subjects. (Back in the nineties, the theory was that competition was motivating for boys but off-putting for girls.)

Still, this shift towards collaboration means that in order to do well in class, a student needs to not only master the subject, but also have excellent interpersonal skills. I'm not talking about just the ability to control oneself and stay on task. The kids who are successful in group work have to be good negotiators, they have to understand each others' strengths and flaws, and they have to be incredibly tactful communicators.

Imagine that you're a middle schooler in a group of four. You have to present a PowerPoint with four basic parts. Should you divide those parts up evenly? If you do, you know Hailey's part will be awful because her spelling is so bad that it's beyond SpellCheck's help. Think of the finesse you need to say, "Emma you have the best spelling scores, so will you edit our PowerPoint?" instead of just bluntly saying, "Hailey you are the worst speller ever, you are NOT writing the PowerPoint!" And to make things even trickier, these are kids, not co-workers. These classmates are their main social group. So maybe everyone stays silent about Hailey's spelling issues and one part of the PowerPoint just doesn't flow well and the whole group receives a lower score as a result.

From my personal observation, it seems like girls mature faster with this type of communication/interpersonal skill. Obviously girls as a group grow faster height-wise in elementary school. Has anyone ever studied the growth of social skills in girls as a group, versus boys as a group? It would be interesting. Maybe our expectations of what is developmentally appropriate to expect from different kids at different ages would change. Maybe the time has come to get rid of the whole idea of grouping kids by age? Think of how many moms ask about delaying kindergarten for their sons. Many times they believe their sons are academically ready, but not socially ready.

I remember being placed in Algebra before I was developmentally ready. I spent a year in middle school working my butt off, staying after school for every help session, doing all of my homework and studying with the help of my parents. Erasing, crying, trying again. I passed, but not because I ever passed a test- only because we could raise our scores after the tests by doing corrections and extra work. I loved my teacher and she liked me, but that didn't help either. I just wasn't ready for Algebra.

Flash forward to college. I'm in the dorm's study room doing homework with some of my friends, and my roommate says, "You're really good at math." I laughed because I was bad at math, of course. And then I realized that I was helping a table full of friends with math, that I had gotten an A in Algebra when I took it again in 9th grade, and an A in every math class I had taken since. I was good at math and totally dumbfounded! Having that year-long experience before I was ready profoundly effected how I viewed myself, what kind of careers I imagined myself in, the colleges I looked at etc... Are we turning boys off by asking them to behave in ways that they simply aren't ready to? Would they be better off or more confident in their skills by just doing the PowerPoint on their own? Of course, they have to learn some time...

2. Writing prompts on standardized tests have to be on topics that everyone has an equal shot at answering regardless of socio-economic background etc... That's only fair. But that can lead to some pretty bland writing prompts. "Think of a time when you felt (scared, embarrassed, truly happy, surprised) and then compare your experience to the character's experience in the previous story." Okay, that's not necessarily a bland prompt, but when you have to practice writing prompts like that over and over in class to prepare for the test, that adds up to a lot of time spent examining your feelings. This is a far cry from what a third grade boy is actually motivated to write.

3. We still spend most of our time in reading class studying novels, even though one could argue that it is truly essential to be able to understand non-fiction documents in the real world. I love novels, I devoured novels growing up, and reading was essential for my academic success. I want my two boys to love reading too. To that end, I search high and low for books that will interest them, stories as well as non-fiction. I learned quickly that my oldest son loves non-fiction authors like Jerry Pallotta and Steve Jenkins whose books are informative and clever, and not at all like textbooks. I feel like there's a great variety of quality non-fiction at the elementary level and then it really goes downhill from there. I'm wondering if we are missing an opportunity to interest boys in reading in the upper grades by not having engaging non-fiction materials. I remember maybe 5-10 years ago there was a study that made it seem like shockingly few adults in America (particularly men) did any reading for pleasure. But when you looked into the actual data, they were only surveying people about how many novels they read per year. They were completely discounting all forms of non-fiction. I think we do that too much as a society, and I think it starts in our schools.

So there's my two cents. Reading and writing are essential skills, so we should be working harder to engage boys in those tasks. And we should be taking a hard look at how much influence collaborative work has on learning/final grades/outcomes- do the benefits outweigh the negatives for girls? for boys? And at what age/stage of life?

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