Who Is Suppose to Pay for a Flower Girl's Dress?

Updated on May 19, 2009
R.C. asks from Saint Paul, MN
26 answers

Is it the parents of the flower girl, or the bride and groom to be? Or, is there no rules on this? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for the rest of the repsonses, too! I know it is really expensive, but the bride-to-be (my future SIL) picked it out becuase it was the "perfect" dress. I can't really tell her no and to go look for something less expensive. Their wedding is a destination wedding (Door County, WI) and the rooms run about $350 per night, so we are expecting to drop a small fortune on this one anyway. It is my husband's youngest brother's wedding and this only happens once (theoretically) so I say what the heck. It was hard to swallow at first, but now I am looking at it as a mini-vactiaon where my 4 year old will get to look and feel even more like a princess. That alone makes it worthwhile, right? Thanks again for all the great comments!

Sounds good, thanks Ladies. That is what I expected, but when I found out that the dress was $225 I was hoping my expectations were incorrect. Oh well, it will probably be really beautiful and she'll enjoy every second in it. I do appreciate your comments- thanks again!

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T.S.

answers from Omaha on

It is an honor to be asked and I have usually seen the parents of the child pay for the dress or the bride.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

This is one area that I have to disagree with what everyone is saying. Now days they expect the people who are asked to be in the wedding party to cover the costs of their dresses and that is just plain wrong in my eyes. I feel that if the bride picks out the dress, she should be willing to put out the money for it. When my son got married I paid for all the tux rentels and we also bought the flower girl dresses because when the bride and I were shopping and she found ones she liked I bought them rather then lose them. I would never have dreamed of asking my attendents to pay for their dresses and tux's. My son went through being best man for a few friends one summer and he never had to pay the tux rental either. Usually the dresses are ones that won't be worn again and to expect someone who you asked to do you the honor of being in the wedding party to pay hundreds of dollars for the dress isn't even a bit OK with what I think is proper. We counted the dress as a gift for being in the party.

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

i had my five nieces and nephews in my wedding and I paid for all of their stuff, dresses, slacks, ties, hats shoes everything but i dont think their is a rule to it.

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E.O.

answers from Appleton on

My daughter was in my brother-in-laws wedding and we picked up the tab for dress. I actually found a place that sold them for under $50. Burlington Coat Factory has them for a very reasonable price also.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

i have never heard of any rule for this, though i think typically it is the responsibility of the flower girl's parents. however, if flower girl's parents need some help, ask. it all depends.

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R.B.

answers from Duluth on

The parents of the flower girl.

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A.B.

answers from Fargo on

My daughter has been a flower girl in 2 weddings...for one we paid for the dress and for the other wedding, the bride & groom paid for it. It depends on each couple - just find out what they're expecting. :)

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J.G.

answers from Waterloo on

That's crazy that the flower girl dress is $225! When I got married, I just gave some "guidelines" of what type of dress and my sister was able to pick up a nice dress at an after Easter sale. The flower girl is going to quickly outgrow the dress (if she ever wears it again). Ask the bride if she would mind if you looked around for dresses and then you could show her a picture of some choices that are more reasonably priced for her to make a final selection.

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M.K.

answers from Duluth on

I've always seen the parents of the flowergirl do the buying. Same as the bridesmaids buying their own dresses...

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Hi R.! When I saw the price of the flower girl dress I HAD to respond. In the case that the bride insists on an expensive dress then she should be more than willing to pay for a portion of the cost.
We paid for our little girl's dress because it was only $75- a floor model in the correct size, the original was more than double the cost- and STILL my future sis in law wanted to take on part of the cost. we didn't let her :) BUT if it were $225 I would have agreed!

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A.N.

answers from Fargo on

The website that Tamara provided has some amazing dresses. Surely the bride could find something she likes in the choices provided for a fraction of the cost. Hopefully you can have an open and honest talk about it. Hope it all goes well! Have fun at the wedding. :o)

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I didn't read any of your other responses but, my dtr has been in 2 weddings - my brother-in-law's and my sister's wedding. It was one year after another. I purchased both of them for the wedding - it wasn't really ever brought up that I'd have a choice. I don't think there is a rule out there but, in the weddings I've been a participant in, the jewelry for the wedding was purchased by the bride. I could have had my dtr wear the same dress with a different sash for both weddings that she was in but, one wedding was in Sept and the other in February. So, I thought it would be nice to find something with sleeves. Little did I know that it's hard to find flower girl dresses with sleeves. We found something more sparkly for the winter wedding that worked out perfect (but it was sleeveless) and she wore a bolero with it. My mom made the bolero and my sister purchased the material for that as well as for all her bridesmaids. The flower girl dresses are not horribly expensive and ebay and craigslist would have a good selection to pick from too if you're looking for a deal. Have fun - your daughter will have a ball!

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Traditionally, and unless otherwise discussed, the parents of the flower girl pick up the tab. Don't be shy about setting a budget so it doesn't get out of hand.

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S.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Similar to a bridesmaid dress, the flower girl's dress, alterations, and accessories are usually paid for by the family of the flower girl.

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

There are probably no rules in this day and age. We paid for our flower girls' dresses because we knew that money was tight for the family. This was 15 yrs ago. I paid for my daughter's dress 2 yrs ago for my sister's wedding. I would ask the bride directly, esp. if she is a close relative or friend. Maybe split the cost.

K. L.

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M.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

In our family and as near as I have always been told, it is the bride's responsibility. Good luck.

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G.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

It is the parents of the flower girl responsibility to pay for the dress. Tho...it would be a nice gesture for the bride/groom to offer to pay if the parents of the flower girl are not in a position to afford the dress.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Does it have to be that particular dress? We had a flower girl in our wedding and I found a dress that she could borrow. I would think that Craig's List or a nice consignment store would have a lot of gently used flower girl dresses available. Although it is generally the responsibility of the flower girl's parents to pay for the dress, that seems like a high price to me. Enjoy the wedding!

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A.K.

answers from Iowa City on

My daughters were just in my cousins very formal wedding as the flower girls. Their dresses and head pieces were $200+ each. We were expected to cover the cost, just like the bridesmaids buy their dresses. Very expensive on top of airfare, hotels, etc. but it's part of the honor of being included in the wedding, is what I've been told. :)

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L.R.

answers from Rochester on

I believe so. Just like a bridesmaid, they are usually responsible for their own dress.

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T.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

R.,
I think every wedding is different. If it ends up being you, look online. My daughter was a flower girl at the same time the rest of our entire family was in a wedding - it got REALLY expensive. I was also having a hard time finding a dress that would look good and be less expensive.
I ended up finding a site online with the most beautiful dresses that were very resonable. Came with gloves, a hair piece and had fabulous color choices. It was great.
Here is one choice: http://www.flowergirldressforless.com/

A.S.

answers from Davenport on

Usually mom and dad.

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

in both of my weddings, I bought the flower girl dresses and the head piece and jewlery. They got the shoes and hair to be done. The brides maides bought thier own dresses but I paid for half because they were $100. But when my kids were in my brothers wedding we had to buy the tuxes.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

The person who has been asked to be IN the wedding pays for their own clothes, unless the bride/groom offer to pay a portion or all. But check to see if the store the bride is getting her dress from offers a discount to bridal party guests... all of mine got an extra $20 or so off their purchases (David's Bridal). Also, ask if you can find the dress on your own as long as it matches in color/style. You can look online or go to a department store like JC Penny and get it for no more than $50.

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A.E.

answers from Des Moines on

So do we get to see a pic of this expensive fg dress.
In my wedding, the bm paid for theirs but we didnt have the funds to pay. They got to pick it out so it was in their range, I let them know which colors and we went from there.
I would talk to the bride and ask if you can find something similar, and maybe she could go with you to see if there is something else less expensive, if there is more than 1 fg ask the others if they would like to come too.
Let us know what you end up doing.

Good Luck
God Bless+

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M.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would NEVER EVER expect anyone to pay $225 for any dress in a wedding! That is ridiculous! We found ALL of our flower girl dresses in any wedding the last few years for family or friends WAY under $50.00!!!!!
Sorry I just had to say that. I can't beleive anyone would find a dress for a little girl to be worn ONE time for that money. Not even my daughter or my friend paid that much for their BRIDES dress!!!

ALL of the dresses were BRAND new I should add!

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